In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I introduce a visual way to understand your child's behavior before and after child-centered play therapy — what I call The Wave Model: From Tsunami to Tide. Before children develop the skills to regulate, communicate, and make sense of their emotions, their behavior often shows up in extremes. The highs are very high, the lows are very low, and everything feels intense, overwhelming, and difficult to manage.

As children build emotional vocabulary, regulation, self-esteem, and a broader understanding of their world, those extremes begin to settle. The waves don't disappear, but they become calmer, more predictable, and easier to recover from. Instead of sharp spikes, behavior begins to look more like gentle, steady waves. The goal isn't to eliminate emotion, but to move from overwhelming intensity to manageable experiences — from tsunami-level reactions to a more balanced, regulated tide.

Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: [email protected] My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.

In this episode, I explain the concept of the pendulum swing and why it is such an important picture for understanding what happens in child-centered play therapy. When children have felt powerless in everyday life, the permissive playroom gives them a chance to experience the opposite. They are allowed to take charge, make decisions, and even swing all the way into dictatorial power. That can look extreme, but it is actually part of the healing process. Children are testing what power feels like because they have spent so much of life feeling like they had none.

Over time, they discover that neither extreme feels good. Having no power feels awful, but having all the power feels awful too. Through the freedom of the playroom and the safety of the therapeutic relationship, children learn that balance is what actually feels right. This is how regulation develops. They move from black-and-white extremes toward a healthy middle, and that process helps parents understand why children may seem to "ping pong" for a while before they settle.

Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: [email protected] My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.

In this episode, I explain the concept of the anger iceberg and how it completely changes the way we understand our children's behavior. What we see on the surface—yelling, hitting, defiance, aggression—is often just a small piece of what's actually going on. Underneath that anger is something much bigger: hurt, disappointment, fear, frustration, or overwhelm. Kids don't choose anger because it's accurate—they choose it because it feels powerful and helps them avoid vulnerability.

When we only react to the anger, we miss what our child is really trying to communicate. But when we pause and look beneath the surface, we can respond to the true emotion instead of the behavior. This shift helps our children feel seen and understood, which is what actually reduces the outbursts over time. My goal in this episode is to help you see past the behavior so you can connect with what your child is really experiencing—and respond in a way that helps, not escalates.

Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: [email protected] My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.

In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I walk you through how birth order shapes your child's personality—and why that matters more than most parents realize. I explain the common tendencies of oldest, middle, and youngest children, and how the dynamics between siblings influence behavior, motivation, and relationships. When you understand birth order, so many things start to make sense—why one child is driven and responsible, another is social and carefree, and another seeks connection outside the family.

I also talk about something many parents don't consider: your own birth order affects how you parent. We naturally relate more easily to the child who shares our role, and we can unintentionally bring unresolved feelings from our own childhood into how we respond to our kids. My goal is to help you see that these patterns are not problems to fix, but insights that can help you understand your children more clearly and respond to them with more awareness and connection.

Episode Reference: Richardson, R. W., & Richardson, L. A. (2000). Birth order and you (2nd ed.). Self-Counsel Press.

Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: [email protected] My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.

In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I explain one of the most important mindset shifts we can make as parents: behavior is communication. When children don't yet have an emotional vocabulary, they can't tell us what they're feeling—they have to show us. That's why big emotions often come out as tantrums, aggression, or seemingly irrational behavior. What looks like "misbehavior" is often just a child overwhelmed by feelings they don't understand and don't know how to express.

I walk through how emotional vocabulary changes everything. When children learn to recognize and verbalize what they're feeling, they no longer need to act it out. Instead of melting down, they can say, "I'm mad," or "That's not fair." And while those words may not always sound pleasant, they are a huge step forward. The more we reflect our child's feelings and help them build emotional vocabulary, the more they develop self-control, regulation, and the ability to communicate their needs in healthier ways.

Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: [email protected] My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.

In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about self-esteem, the seventh and final common issue that often brings children into child-centered play therapy. Self-esteem isn't something children are born with—it develops over time as they begin to understand who they are and what they are capable of. When a child struggles with self-esteem, you often see hesitation, self-doubt, and social difficulties because it's hard for a child to connect with others when they don't yet have a clear sense of themselves.

I explain how child-centered play therapy helps build self-esteem in powerful ways. In the playroom, children lead the experience, which naturally increases confidence and trust in themselves. Therapists notice and reflect what children are doing, and instead of using praise, they use encouragement that focuses on effort and persistence. Over time, children begin to see themselves differently—they start to believe they are capable, competent, and able to handle challenges. Those messages become part of how they see themselves not just in childhood, but throughout their lives.

Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: [email protected] My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.

In this episode, I answer a question from a mom who is trying to decide whether to pursue an ADHD evaluation for her six-year-old while he is already in play therapy. I walk through the larger issue many parents face — the pressure to evaluate, diagnose, and medicate quickly — and how that differs from a child-centered approach that looks at the whole child first. I explain why behavior should never be reduced to a snapshot moment in time and why dysregulation, anxiety, power struggles, and lack of emotional vocabulary can often look like ADHD on the surface.

I also clarify that an evaluation is simply a tool for information. It does not force you to medicate, label, or take any specific path. You remain in control of what you do with the results. My perspective is to pursue the least invasive support first — allowing play therapy to address regulation, self-esteem, and emotional development — and then make informed decisions if concerns remain. This episode is about helping parents slow down, think holistically, and make decisions from clarity rather than pressure.

Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: [email protected] My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.

In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about relational issues — when children struggle socially, don't seem to connect with peers, or have difficulty maintaining friendships. I explain that these struggles are often rooted in a lack of identity or self-concept. When a child doesn't know who they are, they try on different roles from day to day, which makes it hard for other children to relate to them. In other cases, a child may have a consistent pattern of maladaptive behavior that creates distance in relationships.

I walk through how child-centered play therapy helps. In the playroom, children experience unconditional acceptance and freedom from pressure. Over time, they begin to recognize how they want to show up in relationships. Without being forced or corrected, they develop self-awareness, self-concept, and a clearer sense of identity. As they grow into who they want to be, relational struggles begin to shift because other children can finally connect with someone who knows and accepts themselves.

Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: [email protected] My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.

In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about aggression — one of the most common concerns that brings children into child-centered play therapy. I explain that aggression is usually rooted in one of two things: dysregulation combined with a lack of emotional vocabulary, or a mask for vulnerability. When children don't have the words for what they're feeling and don't yet know how to regulate those feelings, aggression becomes the physical way they show distress. Other times, aggression is a shield — a way to avoid the vulnerability underneath disappointment, hurt, or betrayal.

I also explain why aggression in play is not something to fear. In the playroom, children are given safe outlets to release aggression and learn to regulate it appropriately. Through limits, relationship, and emotional vocabulary building, children naturally reduce maladaptive aggression over time. Research shows that children who enter CCPT for aggression become less aggressive — not more — because they are given the space and support to become better versions of themselves.

Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: [email protected] My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.

In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about internalizing behaviors and how they often go unnoticed because these kids keep everything inside. Internalizing children feel just as deeply as externalizing children, but instead of showing their distress outwardly, they stuff it. Over time, that stored-up emotion builds tension until it finally breaks through in a flood of tears or overwhelm. I explain how family roles, subtle pressure, and unmet needs often contribute to this pattern. I also walk through what happens in the playroom for internalizing kids. In child-centered play therapy, they begin developing emotional vocabulary, ownership, and assertiveness. Instead of staying passive or believing they must hold everything together, they learn that their feelings can be expressed safely and that their needs can be met. Over time, they move toward balance — not stuffing emotions, and not exploding — but communicating them in healthy ways.

Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: [email protected] My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.