We are talking relationship agreements again, this time looking at how we actually, practically, maintain ours. We also found a hole in one of ours while recording that we need to address. (No relationship escapes being a work in progress, including ours!)

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Quarantine has gone on a long time, now, and most of the natural breaks we used to get have disappeared. As the world opens up we are READY to get some space for sure but honestly, Joli can't wait any longer. Listen to this episode as we brainstorm a way to get a much-needed break from each other with respect and mutual caring. In this episode, we are creating an intentional, well-defined break in our relationship to avoid enmeshment and increase satisfaction. When we say this show is honest, we mean it... this episode found us exploring and co-creating our relationship on the fly. 

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Marriage is learning all the things you missed on your first meeting. Imagine asking your partner a question you know the answer to and getting a new answer. Does that sound fun, or scary, or both? In this episode we talk about how that works for us, how we make room for each other to change, and how we handle those changes.

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Do you ever feel hesitant to share your inner world with your lovers, partners, friends? In this episode we share our experiences and struggles with transparency, and why we lean into it even when it seems hard. (Spoiler alert - it can promote intimacy, passion, and connection.)

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Finding a way to play with our partner can change how we experience life. In this episode, we are talking about how we introduce the joy of play into relating, parenting, running a household, and yes, sex too. Married life has piled up the responsibilities but playfulness has been the most consistent way to put the magic back into the mundane.

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Developing relationships takes care and courage. This week Angela Lussier joins us and we share thoughts and stories about dating and relationships in general. We talk about what we each want and don't want, what we watch out for and what we seek out, and a little bit about what can happen when we miss the signs.

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Sometimes we get caught up in the changes and challenges everyday life brings. In this episode, we talk about some ways we acknowledge and increase meaning in our lives, and in our relationship. Sometimes we do it on purpose, sometimes we look around and say "oh, we do this thing, and it matters to us and helps us connect". Joli referred to this study about relationship rituals, and for more ideas about creating rituals you can check out chapter 12 of Joli's first book, Project Relationship.

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There is no one way for relationships to work. What does "work" even mean, really? That is up to the people in the relationship. In this episode, we explore some of the common labels people use to describe their open relationships and what we have decided to use in ours. Of course, labels will only take you so far before you need to dive into the actual meaning behind your words and this can get messy sometimes.

The idea of designing a relationship is at the heart of our life. This episode is all about how we have created our open relationship- one that works for us and flexes as we change and grow. 

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In the second part of a mini-series about shame, Joli shares some vulnerability as we go into her feelings about the rocky early years of our relationship, and the final years of our respective first marriages. That challenging time left its marks, and Joli talks about her experiences with couple’s privilege, secrecy (no surprise, since we’re still talking about shame), and how those experiences impact her now.

It’s uncommon to see inside another relationship, so listen in for a tiny glimpse into Joli and Ken’s as it is right now. Relationships change, and the people in them grow, and Joli talks about how she handles the shame and other feelings that come out of that time, in hopes that others might find some support and insight.

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If you’d like to find out more about Joli’s work head to jolihamilton.com

In the first of a mini-series about shame, we aren’t holding back! The feeling of shame has kept parts of Ken hidden from Joli for years even though we’ve been consciously working on it. This isn’t surprising because shame encourages secret-keeping.

Confidence has been masking shame in our home even with a careful eye towards it.

Shame has been showing up in unexpected spots and when it does we often feel disconnected right when we most want to feel seen and loved.

No holds barred in this episode, sexual shame has been hiding too long, so listen in if you’re someone who has ever struggled with shame or the secrets it might encourage. Ken brought his vulnerability right to the forefront this week, hoping to share a story that will help others.

Book mentioned in this episode: Dark Eros by Thomas Moore http://bit.ly/3ppVcns 

If you need some shame-work musical inspiration listen to Shame by The Avett Brothers

If you’d like to find out more about Joli’s work head to jolihamilton.com

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