this week i talk about betrayal and how it never stops catching me off guard, no matter how much i think i’ve prepared myself for it. i get into the way it rewires your nervous system like a mf-ing xmas tree, how it lingers in the body, and why it feels harder to let go of than sadness. i also share how i’ve handled it differently this time, and what it means to finally let myself feel anger. enjoy love u

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fletcher is here this week and we talk about what it means to write honestly about the people you’ve loved and sometimes lost and how terrifying it feels to put those stories into the world when everyone thinks they know who your songs are about

we get into queerness and music as a home for it the way her new album holds both heartbreak and joy at the same time and why telling the truth can be the most freeing thing even when it makes you want to hide under your bed

i also ask if she ever regrets being so raw in her lyrics and she reminds me that there’s power in being messy and human. enjoy love u

17:59 yearning

21:14 public relationships

23:40 ocd / mental health

31:43 new album

43:30 struggling with being public

48:45 changing your sexuality label

50:19 being shocked by liking a boy

56:22 falling in love with a girl

58:00 distance

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before i get into the lesbian master doc, i would be remiss not to acknowledge belly betraying herself and rage baiting the audience, jeremiah’s weird possessiveness, and why conrad’s distance was love disguised as avoidance. then it’s onto compulsory heterosexuality, how liking gay or fictional men is safer, and why attraction doesn’t always mean action. also: how society makes us confuse friendship with crushes and why i hate that every guy friend would still sleep with you. welcome to my dissertation!

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i was supposed to talk about female friendships in this episode but instead i spiral about the summer i turned pretty the rise of ai and why your boyfriend is not your son and shouldn’t be your only friend like why are you breastfeeding him emotionally get a grip

we get into man keeping, how jeremiah is actually asking laurel to be his mum and the way laurel carries the weight of everyone’s grief while being the only one with a brain

also i accidentally solve the education system and consider letting ai chip my brain so i can go live in a mouse house under a tree. Enjoy love u

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I spent a week withdrawing from vyvanse, nicotine and caffeine all at the same time and this episode is the result of that. Enjoy

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this week I am talking about your stories and questions that you wrote in by unraveling a truly unhinged advice email about a boy who numbers his sexual partners (yes, literally gives them numbers), has a thing for helicopters (???), and ghosted a listener after prom. we also get into what real friendship looks like (spoiler: it’s not telling you to “do it for the plot”), how to move on from villains you dated, and unexplored queerness in committed relationships. loved getting to yap with you after 3 days in the desert

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this week I am grappling with ants in my pillows, getting rage baited by my landlord and the idea that the stories you tell yourself about your past form your ‘life story’, therefore your perception of yourself and therefore the behaviour of your future self. and what if we can re write the past and nothing is concrete and we can change things we have previously accepted as true about ourselves by a shift in perspective? like what if our past is up for grabs? filmed at a very stupid hour, I once again missed half the points I wanted to make so maybe ill do a part two on this subject but until then …

Story Of My Life: How Narrative Creates Personality - The Atlantic: https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/08/life-stories-narrative-psychology-redemption-mental-health/400796/

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I threw up for the first time since developing emetophobia over ten years ago

light trigger warning for people who are very sensitive - nothing gross is mentioned, verbiage only what’s in title and description, and I mostly discuss the emotional impact and how I processed the experience

additionally, I filmed this episode in my birthday and dove into why I fear aging so much while also being so young and how I turned my mindset into a more positive one so I could stop crashing out and enjoy the best day of the year

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talking about how i got started on youtube and how weird of a time that was and how i found my team. and then about the ego and how I recently discovered that isn’t just a bad word to use for people with an inflated sense of self but actually an important and useful part of us all

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back in my habitat.

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