Manipulative Insincerity is what happens when you neither Care Personally nor Challenge Directly. It’s praise that is non-specific and insincere, or criticism that is neither clear nor kind. It’s the kind of backstabbing, political, passive aggressive behavior that might be fun to tell stories about but makes for a toxic workplace, ruining relationships and ruining work.

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Our podcast series, “Radically Candid Conversations,” features experts and guests who help us learn, reflect and put our insights into action. This episode of the Radical Candor podcast features Debora Spar, a Harvard Business School professor and former Barnard College president. Kim talks to Debora about her new book Work Mate Marry Love: How Machines Shape Our Human Destiny. Kim and Debora discuss the intersections of technology and human relationships.

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Kim and Jason answer listener questions and share their experiences about being a boss who's younger than their direct reports and having their wings clipped by an absentee manager who isn't invested in their success. They also agree that chair-throwing management styles aren't an effective way to get things done (as Kim learned when she threw her bike helmet at a window when dealing with a bad boss at a former job).

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Our podcast series, “Radically Candid Conversations,” features experts and guests who will help us learn, reflect and put our insights into action. This episode features Annie Jean-Baptiste, head of product inclusion at Google and author of Building For Everyone: Expand Your Market With Design Practices From Google's Product Inclusion Team. Kim and Annie discuss how to build inclusive products, teams and experiences.

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If someone has approached you and said, "In the spirit of Radical Candor ..." and then proceeded to act like a total jerk, you've experienced how some people use Radical Candor to justify being their worst selves. This behavior is not Radical Candor; it's what we call Obnoxious Aggression. Kim, Jason and Amy agree that nobody should have to pay the asshole tax or work for a seagull swoop-and-poop boss. They also explain why Radical Candor is actually compassionate candor versus a license to act like a jerk.

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If you're a boss, 1:1 meetings with your direct reports are a must-do. The purpose of a 1:1 meeting is to listen and clarify — to understand what direction each person working for you wants to head in, and what is blocking them. These meetings are your single best opportunity to listen, really listen, to the people on your team to make sure you understand their perspective on what’s working and what’s not working. On this episode of the Radical Candor podcast, Kim, Amy and Jason share tips about how to have effective 1:1s, even when you can't be together in person, and Kim sings a few notes from the Hall and Oats song "One On One."

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Being the boss doesn’t mean you automatically get respect from people, but the authority does have an automatic impact on what people will say to you. Unfortunately, people are primed to mistrust you based on all the preconceived notions against bosses. As the boss, you’ll tend to get more flattery than critical feedback that can help you learn and grow. Kim, Jason and Amy talk about how bosses can get real talk from employees by asking a go-to question.

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Kim, Jason and Amy discuss how doing less can lead to more success. Kim recommends creating a proactive forbearance list where you list all of the things you're not going to do. Instead of feeling guilty about not doing the things on your list, celebrate them. This allows you to focus on the things you actually need to get done now. In addition, Jason explains the spoon theory and Amy talks Radical Dandor.

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Radical Candor readers regularly reach out to us for advice about how to Care Personally and Challenge Directly. On this episode, Amy and Jason shed some light on how to give upwards feedback, how to give feedback to direct reports without making them develop a fear of coffee, how introverts can manage expectations about impromptu feedback, and how to Care Personally about someone you have nothing in common with.

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Our new podcast series, “Radically Candid Conversations,” features experts and guests who will help us learn, reflect, and put our insights into action. Our second episode features Tiffani Lee, a partner at the law firm Holland & Knight, who recently wrote in an article about addressing racial injustice for Law360: "Our response to the grave injustice of this moment must be informed by Radical Candor." In this discussion, Kim and Tiffani explore how practicing Radical Candor can be a helpful framing when addressing systemic racism; why it’s so important to have the difficult conversations so many of us were trained not to have in the workplace; the importance of metrics and storytelling in creating a diverse, equitable and inclusive workplace; and what we all can learn, whatever industry we’re in, from lawyers and law firms working to create more just workplaces.

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