Raising Daughters

Show Notes: Girls can learn to let things go and not sweat the small stuff to avoid being stressed out. Learn to catch themselves when they are ruminating and switch it by bringing themselves to the present moment and reminding themselves of their truth. Practicing self-compassion also helps girls to destress and not sweat the small stuff. Girls can imagine someone they trust is in their head, what would that person be saying to them about a situation or feeling, and then say that to themselves vs. their negative thoughts. They can also remember that people have experienced what they are going thru and they got thru it; thus they are not alone and they do can overcome the experience. $86,400 analogy: don’t allow 10 seconds of negativity to color the rest of their day. Focus on what they do have control over, i.e., their feelings, thoughts, and reactions to people and events. Parents need to not add their own emotions to their daughter’s experiences because they’re having enough trouble dealing with their own roller coaster of emotions. To understand more deeply your daughter’s emotional life and how to best support her, check out Dr. Jordan’s online course, Parenting girls: The challenges girls face today with their feelings and friends and what they need

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Show Notes: To get your daughters to share more & to remain an influence in their lives, use these questions vs the standard, “How was your day?” We have a very narrow vision for who is a hero, who is brave, and who is a leader. Because of that, most girls don’t see themselves as those things because they aren’t a first responder, team captain, professional athlete, or the popular queen bee. Dr. Jordan offers listeners a long list of ways girls show courage, power, and leadership. We need to better notice and affirm those qualities in our girls so that they start seeing themselves in that light. Dr. Jordan also offers 12 conversation starters for the dinner table to instigate deeper and more insightful conversations. These questions will get you passed mumbled 1-word answers to the standard question: “How was your day?” These could also be used to create deeper conversations around your holiday dinner tables to direct talk away from superficial gossip or politics. Conversation starters: Were you able to: not let words bother you? Avoid peer pressure? Handle a conflict directly & peacefully?  Find these and other great questions on our new poster for families printed onto sturdy and waterproof synthetic paper on my website at www.drtimjordan.com For 202 great, insightful questions to ask around the nightly dinner table, during car rides, or around the holiday table, check out my Dinner Dialogue cards too at www.drtimjordan.com    

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Show Notes: Learn in this podcast when and why youth sports changed into a commercialized business that is detrimental to children. Dr. Jordan retraces the history of youth sports starting from the early 1900s through today. This history includes influences such as worries about immigrant children roaming the streets unsupervised, the depression, the new pay-for-play model that emerged post-depression, the self-esteem movement, the rising cost of a college education and the dream of attaining a college scholarship, the advent of travel leagues and showcase events, and the early specialization in a single sport movement. Dr. Jordan also describes the fears parents experience about their children getting behind other kids as far as athletics which drives up their intensity, anxiety, and willingness to forfeit family time for tournaments and travel teams. Dr. Jordan also lays out the facts about how few athletes attain division 1, 2, and 3 scholarships for sports, and how few of high school athletes actually play sports in college and make the professional levels. Dr. Jordan encourages parents to make conscious choices about athletic teams and coaches and sports based on their child’s and family’s needs and to avoid making choices to keep up with their peer’s experiences. Some articles for you to read for more in-depth information on this topic: When did competitive sports take over American childhood? 9-20-13https://www.theatlantic.com/author/hilary-levey-friedman/ https://time.com/4913687/how-kids-sports-became-15-billion-industry/ how your child’s rec league turned into a $15 billion industry, Sean Gregory, Time 9-4-17 https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/dr-tommy-john/minimize-injury-maximize-performance/9780738235288/  Tommy John III on youth sports Linda Flanagan researched the state of youth athletics and wrote the book “Take Back the Game: How Money and Mania are Ruining Kids’ Sports — and Why It Matters For more information on Dr. Jordan and his resources for kids and parents, check out his website at www.drtimjordan.com

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Listen in to this sobering conversation as two teachers discuss the challenges they are facing with students, parents, and the educational system post covid.

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Show Notes: Listen in to this sobering conversation as 2 teachers discuss the challenges they are facing with students, parents, and the educational system post covid. Dr. Jordan discusses the effects of covid on students, … Why is your child’s teacher quitting her job? Read More »

How sure are you that you’re not raising an entitled brat? We all have our best intentions in mind, but can we be absolutely sure we’re not leading our kids down the wrong path? Adults these days worry that we are raising a generation of entitled and indulged brats. Employers complain that millennials walk into their first jobs expecting the corner office without putting in the time and effort. What's the solution? Let me share a true story I heard of how a father decided to teach his son a lesson on responsibility and grit.  Look for Dr. Jordan's new book for young adults and their parents entitled Letters From My Grandfather: Timeless Wisdom For a Life Worth Living.

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Is college really necessary for a successful life? We hear this question all the time and both sides of the argument have their merit. And then the time comes we have to help our children decide. What’s your first move? Drop the 1-size-fits-all standard about everyone needing college & be open to kids finding their own path to success. I encourage all parents and daughters to be open to many paths to success. Kids today are conditioned to believe there is one path that fits everyone: get good grades, go to a top college, get a good job, and make a lot of money. But that path does not fit for the majority of people. Dr. Jordan presents many facts about the benefits and disadvantages of a four-year college degree, including economic and mental health issues. For example, over 60% of all US adults over 25 do not have a four year degree, 41% of college grads in their 20s are underemployed and working in jobs that typically don’t require a college degree, and only 46% of college grads in 2022 say they currently work in their field of study, i.e. jobs that do not apply the training they received in college. The high up-front cost of college can dig a hole that takes years to overcome—on average, it takes student loan borrowers two decades to pay off their debt. There are 30 million jobs in the US that pay an average of $55,000 and don’t require a bachelor’s degree; many of these jobs go to people with vocational degrees. A 2017 survey found that 70 percent of contractors have difficulty finding qualified craft workers, such as electricians and plumbers.  Dr. Jordan discusses the possible answers to the question: What is the return supposed to be for your four years of college? Is it just about earning more money? Is the only purpose of an education to enable you to get a job? What, in short, is college for? These are great questions to discuss with your daughters during high school years as they try to decide their next step after high school. Dr. Jordan also discusses some of the non-economic benefits of a four year college experience. He also discusses why HOW you go to college is more important than when or where you go. He also discusses how that gap years can be beneficial to young adults, especially if they are conscious about how they use that time. Young adults need usable skills, and college is hardly the only source for developing these. Support your daughters to carve out their own path, in their own way, & in their own time, and to not live life by “shoulds” & what everyone else is doing or not to disappoint parents. If given the choice, given autonomy to choose their path and whether they go to college & where & when, they will be more invested and engaged, thus reap more benefits from the experience. Is college necessary for a successful life? I believe the answer is a resounding no, and we need to appreciate that all young people aren’t cut from the same cloth. Support your kids in finding their unique life path that fits their interests, passions, and aptitude, and watch them soar.

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Not all parents’ mistakes are committed knowing they will have negative impact. In fact, most parenting errors start with good intentions. How can we be aware of what we’re doing wrong and improve how we raise our daughters? Show Notes:·        The following are 10 of the most common mistakes parents make that leave girls feeling misunderstood and unsupported.·        Give her a day: What shall you give to one small girl, a glamorous game, a tinseled toy? A girl scout knife, a puzzle pack? A train that runs on some curving track. A picture book, a real live pet? No, there’s plenty of time for such things yet. Give her a day for her very own, just one small girl and her dad alone. A walk in the woods, a romp in the park, a fishing trip from dawn to dark. Give her the gift that only you can, the companionship of her old man. Games are outgrown & toys will decay, but she’ll never forget if you give her a day.For more information about best practices for parenting girls, especially in the areas of emotions and friendships, check out Dr. Jordan’s online parenting course, Parenting girls: The challenges girls face today with their feelings and friends and what they need.

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An interview with Vitaliy Katsenelson, author of the new book, Soul in the Game, about teaching kids to live a meaningful life. Show Notes:  Have a higher vision for your children than they have It’s … How to Teach Children to Live a Meaningful Life Read More »

An interview with Vitaliy Katsenelson, author of the new book, Soul in the Game, about teaching kids to live a meaningful life. Show Notes: It’s important for parents to have a higher vision for their kids than they might have at vulnerable periods of their life The author discusses the importance kids developing a very narrow, single focus because you become what you give your attention to. We discuss some ways to help kids develop this focus. We discuss how to help kids develop habits that will keep them on target and how to help them create an identity that they are the kind of person who has these habits. Vitaliy Katsenelson discusses how struggling is suffering with a purpose, and now the purpose or why is the fuel that makes you overcome the pain; embrace uncertainty and mistakes and failures; when you figure out why you are doing something and that why is important to you, suffering turns into struggle or a surmountable challenge and thus becomes more tolerable. For more information about the concepts in Soul in the Game, and to reach the author, go to www.soulinthegame.net     

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