Raising Daughters

Having safe spaces where they are accepted for who they are allows girls to stretch & flourish Show Notes: Dr. Jordan provides examples from his camp, Camp Weloki for Girls, about what a safe space looks like for girls:
For more information about Dr. Jordan’s weekend retreats, summer camps, and Strong Girls Strong World School program, contact him at www.drtimjordan.com  

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Girls today continue to be haunted and confused by mixed messages absorbed from the culture, leading to excessive stress, pressure, anxiety, and depression. Show Notes: Dr. Jordan describes Dr. Stephan Hinshaw’s concept of the triple bind:
Girls are also absorbing some unhealthy messages from the culture about the need to be a “good girl”.
Girls also experience a lot of pressure and confusion from a myriad of mixed messages about how they should behave and live:
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
The results of all of this pressure:  
Listen in for future podcast about what we can do to better guide our girls and equip them to be successful and happy now and in the future.    

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Many girls have a belief that they are not good enough, and it’s literally killing them. Here’s what parents can do about it.
Show Notes:
In this podcast Dr. Jordan describes many causes of why girls develop a belief that they are not good enough and the costs of having that belief.
Parents: Some ways that parents contribute to girls developing a not good enough belief arehaving an autocratic parenting style with criticism, yelling, and punishments; comparing them to siblings unfavorably, being distracted and not around to spend time with them, valuing achievement over character, and modeling this belief with what they say about themselves and how they act.
Coaches: coaches who are intense and yell a lot and are focused on winning at all costs can cause girls to internalize the message they aren’t enough.
Peers: Girls often compare themselves to friends and peers unfavorably, and they also do a lot of body and fat shaming with huge effects on each other’s beliefs.
Spiral of beliefs: Past negative experiences often causes girls to decide they aren’t good enough and for those thoughts to develop into belief systems. This includes friend issues, school performance, and family issues.
Advertising: Dr. Jordan describes how advertisers are selling girls the idea that they themselves are not enough or good enough; that they need this product to have cool friends, be popular, and to be enough.Images: Girls who compare themselves to images on social media will end up thinking they are ugly, fat, and not good enough.
What can parents do to support their girls?
Be conscious of what you are saying, modeling, parenting style, not compare them to sibs, value character vs achievement; spend a lot of 1-on-1 time with them
Friends: Be a nonjudgmental listener so she will come to you if problems with friends, mostly just listen but also give perspective & relate to your past experiences.
Help them become aware of the spiral of beliefs: ask what they are saying to themselves about themselves due to life experiences, challenge (-) thoughts & beliefs, teach them they are always in charge of what they allow experiences to mean about them = they are always in charge of their story.Be careful when choosing teams about who is the coach; if too intense or critical ,move on b/c there are lots of teams & coaches.
Teach girls to be media savvy, aware of what ads are really selling them, question them always! What are they trying to sell me? What are they saying to me about me? Too fat? Hair too wavy?Teach girls to be image savvy, question every image & know they aren’t real & catch self if comparing self to them.
We need to do a better job of preventing kids from internalizing negative beliefs about themselves, especially about not being good enough. Contact Dr. Jordan: www.drtimjordan.comFor more information about girls and their emotional and friendship challenges, check out Dr. Jordan’s online course, Parenting girls: The challenges girls face today with their feelings and friends and what they need  


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Many girls have a belief that they are not good enough, and it’s literally killing them. Here’s what parents can do about it. Show Notes:  In this podcast Dr. Jordan describes many causes of why … Your Daughter’s Belief That She Is Not Good Enough Is Literally Killing Her Read More »

Many adults didn’t get fully engaged in their education until college or later, so stop pressuring your children to get straight As or else! Show Notes: Included in this week’s podcast: Value of remembering when, … The Pressure for A’s is Senseless and Destructive Read More »

SHOW NOTES: Many adults didn't get fully engaged in their education until college or later, so stop pressuring your children to get straight As or else! Included in this week's podcast:
Check out all of the services offered by Dr. Jordan at www.drtimjordan.com 

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Listen to 15 hilarious jokes and stories about kids & parents that will lighten your mood & decrease your stress. Show Notes: Dr. Jordan describes some of the physiologic, mental health, and social benefits of … Laughter Really Is the Best Medicine Read More »

Listen to 15 hilarious jokes and stories that will lighten your mood & decrease your stress Show Notes: Dr. Jordan describes some of the physiologic, mental health, and social benefits of laughter. Listen to 15 hilarious jokes and stories that will brighten your mood, decrease your stress and anxiety, and balance out the negativity that surrounds us. Check out all the programs that Dr. Jordan provides for kids and parents at www.drtimjordan.com  

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How we view our fellow humans affects the way we treat them.  Human’s natural inclination is for cooperation, connection, kindness, & empathy; if you believe the best, you’ll experience their best. Dr. Jordan speaks about … Humans Are Naturally Good, But Institutions Make Us Wicked Read More »

Are humans naturally good? Should we trust others? In this episode, Dr. Jordan discusses how we overcome negativity bias, and lead us to believe that humans are naturally good. We are naturally inclined to solidarity and cooperation. Let's join Dr. Jordan in understanding humans better. Show Notes:v How we view our fellow humans affects the way we treat them. Human's natural inclination is cooperation, connection, kindness, & empathy. If you believe the best, you'll experience their best v Dr. Jordan speaks about the findings in the book Humankind by Rutger Bregman.v Disasters bring out the best in us, as we like to be part of groups & communities. Dr. Jordan cites examples such as the 1940 blitzkrieg bombings of London and Hurricane Katrina.v Explains the origins of myths that humans, by their very nature, are selfish, aggressive, and quick to panic, as well as the concept of original sin and god.v Dr. Jordan describes the mean world syndrome, negativity bias, availability bias, the bystander effect, and the Rosenthal effect and how it pertains to our views about mankind's goodness.v Thomas Pettigrew's massive review of 515 studies from 38 countries provided overwhelming support that contact with people perceived to be different from us works to engender more trust, solidarity, and mutual kindness, helps people see the world through others's eyes, and makes people more tolerant of strangers. Contact is contagious and helps us rethink our biases when we see others act differently. Final thoughts:v Human's natural inclination is for solidarity and cooperation. So, let's start with a belief that people are good, cooperative, empathetic, and helpful by nature.v We can overcome our negativity bias by reminding ourselves to assume the best in others, believe that most people mean well, and assume that we will be cheated occasionally. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't or can't trust everyone. Dr. Jordan concludes with the concept of Ubuntu as described by Archbishop Desmond Tutu.Humankind: A Hopeful History, by Rutger BregmanDr. Jordan's website: www.drtimjordan.com

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