Raising Daughters

Being too close & enmeshed in your daughter’s life will prevent her from finding herself, her path, & her happiness. In this podcast, learn the many ways that it can look when parents are too enmeshed in their daughter’s life, why it happens, and what girls need. Some examples of enmeshed parent-daughter relationships:·        Daughter makes choices and decisions to please and not disappoint parents·        Parents using their daughter as their confidant, causing girls to become overwhelmed·        Girls feel they are responsible for their parent’s happiness, depression, or any mental health issue·        Parents have a really hard time letting their daughters grow, leave the nest, and become their own person independent of their mom·        Parents become way too involved in their daughter’s schoolwork, friendships, dating relationships, and decision-making What can girls & parents do?

• Parents need to become aware of any ways they are being overinvolved or are too dependent on their daughters
• Parents need to work through past issues, express feelings, and make better sense of them so as not to put their stories into their daughters
• Parents need to handle their own present issues, like marriage problems so that your D doesn’t need to feel responsible
• Girls need to understand why their parents act the way they do so they don’t take it personally or take responsibility for their parent’s feelings, mental health, or happiness; this is not about me!

·        It’s important that girls find healthy adults to talk to, vent, share: friend’s parents, counselor·        Use one-on-one counseling for your daughter, yourself, and your marriage if needed as well as family counseling Girls need space to become who they were meant to be, not be shackled with their parent’s old baggage, space to find themselves and make choices based on what’s right for them, solve their own problems, make mistakes and learn from them, and to follow their own path and create their own destiny. If your daughter needs help with the above-mentioned issues, call my office at 636-530-1883 to get some one-on-one counseling.

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Show Notes:  Listen to 4 true stories about kind heroes who made a huge impact on how children saw themselves, me included. My encounter with legend Stan Musial Listen to how Stan Musial, one of … How Kind Heroes Can Change a Child’s Life Read More »

Show Notes: Listen to 4 true stories about kind heroes who made a huge impact on how children see themselves, me included. How Stan Musial, one of the greatest baseball players in history, became my hero just by caring enough to notice me and talk with me. Bobby Orr, the greatest defenseman in NHL history, did an act of kindness to a little boy in his hockey camp and inspired him to be a better dad. The creator of the Peanut’s comic strip, Charles, Schultz, answered my letter to him years ago and even sent me an original 4 panel cartoon with my favorite character Sally. He inspired me to never be too busy to not spend a moment connecting with people and answering their requests. Most heroes are not soldiers, first responders, or professional athletes. We need to acknowledge more people like teachers, social workers, custodians, and anyone in the service sector who are sometimes ding tough, necessary jobs that most of us do not want to do. Dr. Jordan shares a true story about a teacher who made a difference in the life of a lonely girl with a cleft palate and changed the way she saw herself. Send a note of gratitude to someone who made a difference for you growing up. For more information about Dr. Jordan’s book, She Leads: A Practical Guide for Raising Girls Who Advocate, Influence, and Lead, go to his website at www.drtimjordan.com      

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Show Notes: Many girls are sexually harassed at school & feel helpless to stop it; here’s what parents & schools can do to stop it. How girls are sexually harassed at school Dr. Jordan describes … Your Daughter Is Being Sexually Harassed at School Read More »

Show Notes: Many girls are sexually harassed at school & feel helpless to stop it; here’s what needs to be done to support them Dr. Jordan describes what girls have shared with him in his counseling practice and at retreats and camps about sexual harassment at school: the extent of the problem, who’s most vulnerable, being ‘technologically groped’ by being pushed to send nude photos, how peers have become muted bystanders, and why girls feel so helpless to stop the harassment Learn statistics and info on how the problem of on-campus rapes of women relates to this problem in middle and high school Dr. Jordan offers a guide on what girls can do to take care of themselves and address and prevent sexual harassment. Learn what parents can do to support their daughters with this issue. Young people won’t take this problem seriously until the adults around them do, so Dr. Jordan offers some ideas about how we can change the system and the toxic environment at school to address and prevent further harassment. We need to focus more on changing the environment & system vs blame girls and give them all of the responsibility to change things. Demand that her school have workshops where boys and girls can get together to discuss their point of view on this topic and make commitments to each other and make intention to stand up for each other vs voiceless bystander Sex education should be more about relationship education, reading cues, and the concept of consent. Talk about all of this now before or as her school year begins.  

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Show Notes: An interview with Sarah Evans, founder of Well Aware, about how to connect kids to a cause that makes a difference in the world & in their self-esteem. Sarah Evan’s NFP Well Aware … How to Get Your Daughter Invested in Service & Making a Difference in the World Read More »

Encouraging children to engage with meaningful causes ignites a lifelong sense of purpose, guiding them to create a positive change in the world. An interview with Sarah Evans, founder of Well Aware, about how to connect kids to a cause that makes a difference in the world. Sarah Evans founded the not-for-profit Well Aware, which funds and implements lasting clean water systems to drive development & empower communities in East Africa with the goal of getting clean water infrastructure to rural, developing areas. Sarah Evans describes her background using Dr. Jordan’s Dot Theory; she discusses her path and journey that led her to her passion for making a difference in Africa by building wells. She also discusses the effect her work has had on her 10-year-old daughter and what her daughter learned during her recent visit to Africa with her mom. Learn how being connected to a cause or purpose helps kids understand what’s important and how they’re important by contributing to causes through helping even in small ways. Dr. Jordan and Sarah also discuss how valuable it is to communicate what you do for work to your children, especially as it relates to helping other people. They also discuss how to explain hard to understand issues and problems to young children. Find more information about Sarah Evans and her NFP Well Aware at www.wellawareworld.org  Contact Dr. Jordan at www.drtimjordan.com

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Show Notes: The best deterrent for mean girl behaviors is how much girls come to know, understand, and care about each other; SEL programs create these results. Put a girl into a safe, nurturing, nonjudgmental environment like my camps and she blossoms. Observe that same girl in the judgmental hallways at school and you might see a different kid altogether. Schools plaster some character education posters on the walls and force-feed some platitudes and rules at the beginning of the year, all adult driven and derived. But these have little effect or staying power because it doesn’t come from the girls. Social-emotional learning (SEL) programs in schools have been well researched, and the results are incredible. The following are just a few of the many outcomes when these programs are instituted in schools: better sense of community, more positive attitudes towards school and learning, higher academic achievement and test scores, better problem-solving skills, reductions in aggression and disruptions, higher classroom engagement, improved coping with school stressors, and decreased alcohol and drug usage. Teachers thus have more time to actually teach vs. put out fires, and students are more focused and engaged. Here are a few of the lessons we teach girls in our Strong Girls Strong World school program: Setting intentions for their learning community, how they want to treat each other Skills for resolving conflicts directly, peacefully, create win-win solutions with individuals or as a class How to run regular class meetings & take full responsibility for the learning environment, brainstorm & win-win negotiation Learn more about each other, learn that they have more in common than they think Their class quickly becomes safer, less judgmental, and closer. The best deterrent for mean girl behaviors is how much they come to know, understand, and care about each other. When a flower doesn’t bloom you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower. Alexander Den Heijer If you want girls to bloom, stop focusing on labels and diagnoses and drama and instead guide them in fixing the environments in which they live. Encourage their school to adopt a social emotional learning program. Improve and fertilize the garden and watch the flowers blossom. For more information on Dr. Jordan’s Strong Girls Strong World school program, check out his website at www.drtimjordan.com      

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Show Notes: All girls feel different in some way & they need our unconditional love & support Here’s to the kids who are different poem How you feel different CIRCLES at my camps & school … How Your Daughter Feels Different Matters Read More »

Strength lies in celebrating every girl's unique story, fostering a world where differences are cherished, not judged. All girls feel different in some way & they need our unconditional love & support Here’s to the kids who are different poem How you feel different circles at my camps & school programs Ways girls feel different: Size: tallest girl, 1st to start puberty, short, heavier build, “fat thighs”, long legs, muscular arms Appearance: big nose, red hair (research great GM), curly hair, 1st to have braces, 1 finger on both hands, no fingers on 1 hand, cochlear implant with hearing aid b/c deaf, dark skin, birth marks, cleft lip Behavior: stutter, tics, fear of vomiting, misophonia, impulsive or can’t sit still, not a girl-girl, confide in pets or stuffed animals Labels: ADHD, depressed, anxiety, social anxiety, shy, loud, too sensitive Family: adopted, divorced, only child, embarrassed to have Fs over b/c Ps fight a lot, have 2 moms, brother with autism, sister with Down Syndrome, wild sister who’s always in trouble & fights with Ps and cops called, dad in prison, Iowa Ps with drug problems (meth), introvert in family of extroverts, artsy in family of athletes Things: not have a phone or on social media, not get to watch TV shows friends do, no free time b/c so many activities, uncommon hobby Ability: Gillian Lynne story; schoolwork is hard, dyslexia, think they are stupid, worst athlete at recess, slow runner, uncoordinated, last kid chosen for games, all siblings with straight A’s & they struggle for Bs & Cs, feel behind socially, family of achievers & they want to do hair Lessons & gifts from their differences Stories of eminent people who didn’t fit the mod as kids: Choreographer Gillian Lynne, Sculptor Olga Ayala, American artist Benjamin West For more information about Dr. Jordan’s weekend retreats, summer camps, and Strong Girls Strong World School Program, check out his website at www.drtimjordan.com

Thank you for listening to my podcast.  Please join our community on our social media platforms and share with yours to help us grow!