Episode 504 – A Dopamine Feast

Today we have Don. He is 44 and lives in Clarkson, MI. He took his last drink on November 15th, 2021.

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The theme for this podcast is I am Here, I am Whole. What does that mean? It means, that in this moment, the only moment that has ever mattered or ever existed, I choose to be here, and I will view myself as whole.

Please don't kick the can of wholeness, authenticity and self-love down the road. It has to be now.

[04:22] Thoughts from Paul:

Paul shares that he really enjoyed the book Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke, minus one part of it that talks about a dopamine fast as a way to beat an addiction.

A recent NYT article summarizes why Paul doesn't like the dopamine fast idea. It has to do with the quote that "it's less about quitting drinking, and more about creating a life that doesn't require alcohol". There are many healthier ways to release dopamine, such as hobbies you enjoy, that don't involve your drug of choice. Trying new things helps us release dopamine as well.

The last paragraph of the article says "consequently, America's problem isn't that we're a bunch of hedonists hooked on capitalism's dopamine hits, it's that so many of us aren't able to get our social, physical and emotional needs met in healthy ways. Instead of a dopamine fast, we need a dopamine feast - one that makes us want experiences we actually like, rather than compulsively responding to craving".

[08:36] Paul introduces Don:

Don is an anesthesiologist, and he lives in Clarkston, MI. He started enjoying traveling since his mid-30s and has been to 30 countries, five continents and heading to Antarctica at the end of the year. Don is a big fan of sports and roots for the teams out of Detroit.

Alcohol always seemed to have a positive light around it when Don was younger. Whether it was a gathering or party the adults seemed more relaxed, happy and silly. It always seemed like something to look forward to when he got older. Being more of a goody-two-shoes, Don says, he didn't try alcohol until the summer after school ended. He recalls feeling like he was comfortable in his own skin and his racing thoughts relaxed. Don says he was immediately someone that couldn't stop drinking once he started.

Don says his 20s were spent in school and would drink heavily maybe once a month. In his 30s after graduating and feeling he achieved all of his goals, he wondered "what's next?" Don says that alcohol didn't answer the question, but it prevented him from having to answer it. Don says that he realized he was gay as a young man and never wanted to deal with it. Drinking helped him push that away too.

COVID sped up the inevitable, Don says. Having more time off work due to less surgeries being performed; Don would start drinking more on his off days. Once work became busy again, he's drinking continued where it was and started affecting his work.

When Don arrived at work still drunk after a Labor Day weekend binge, he says receiving a call from his boss was relief.

When Don started rehab, he knew he was going to need to address being gay in addition to having a drinking problem. After completing rehab, Don began attending a program for health professionals that gives him the accountability he needed.

Don says AA is a big part of his life now. He says he enjoys the community and accountability. He is testing out dating to see if it's something that he wants to do. After falling in love with Costa Rica, he decided to build a house there. The greatest gift Don says he was given in sobriety is the ability to be present.

Don's parting piece of guidance: Just start. You've got to start somewhere and if that's rehab, than so be it. Take a break from your job, people will be much more supportive than you think they will.

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