Is your child's refusal to listen driving you CRAZY? You're not alone! In this transformative episode, mom-of-three Chrystal reveals how she went from constant power struggles to peaceful cooperation without sacrificing authority. Discover the exact approach that works when "because I said so" fails. Stop the exhausting battles TODAY and create the respectful relationship you've always wanted with your child.
Questions This Episode Will Answer:
Why won't my child listen to me? Children resist when their needs aren't being met. Understanding what's beneath the "not listening" transforms power struggles into opportunities for connection and cooperation.
How do I get my child to listen without threatening or bribing? Focus on identifying both your needs and your child's needs, then problem-solve together to find solutions that work for everyone. This creates willing cooperation rather than reluctant compliance.
Will my child ever listen the first time I ask? Yes! When children know that you'll try to meet their needs as well as your own, they become MUCH more willing to collaborate with you. The path to first-time listening isn't through control but through connection.
Am I creating an entitled child by not demanding immediate compliance? Actually, the opposite is true. Children raised with respectful problem-solving develop stronger empathy, better boundary recognition, and more social skills than those raised with strict obedience requirements.
How do I handle emergencies when I need immediate compliance? Create a foundation of trust by respecting autonomy in non-emergency situations. When true emergencies arise, children who trust you will respond to your urgency because they know you don't overuse your authority.
What You'll Learn In This Episode:
The powerful shift from control-based parenting to needs-based problem-solvingWhy resistance is a signal that needs attention, not defiance that needs punishmentHow to identify your real non-negotiables versus situations where flexibility serves everyonePractical examples of problem-solving conversations that create willing cooperationThe critical difference between limits (changing someone's behavior) and boundaries (what you're willing to do)How to teach children about healthy boundaries by respecting theirsWhy "stop means stop" and "no means no" are essential teachings (and how to get your child to respect your 'stop' and 'no')How to recognize when you're getting triggered by your child's "not listening"The surprising truth about how respectful parenting creates more socially capable childrenWhy one intentional parent can make all the difference, even without perfect partner alignment
If you're thinking "but my child NEEDS to learn to listen," this episode directly addresses how this approach creates MORE compliance in situations that truly matter.
Ready to transform your daily battles into peaceful cooperation? I'd love to help you take the next step in our FREE Setting Loving and Effective Limits workshop.
This is your last chance to register for free this year, and get my support as well. We start on Wednesday May 7!
Click the image below to sign up - we start on Wednesday!
Jump to highlights
00:45 Introduction of today’s episode
02:00 An open invitation to join the Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop
06:12 Chrystal’s experience in the Setting Loving (&Effective!) Limits workshop
07:46 Saying NO to our child isn’t necessarily the right answer
08:48 Challenges that Chrystal had as someone who was brought up in a religious family
11:44 How resilience will play a big role in our children
13:10 Chrystal’s transition from being controlled to having freedom and autonomy
13:50 As a result of having a strong-willed child, Chrystal experiences a lot pushback and challenges
17:01 When to set limits and boundaries to our children
19:18 Ways to navigate our younger child when we need to take a pause in a situation
21:42 The difference between setting limits and boundaries
23:00 The importance of respectful parenting
24:20 Using body cues instead of saying NO
26:31 Introduction to Problem Solving Conversation: Nonjudgmental Observation
32:52 Our children's resistance creates a "US and THEM" scenario
39:54 The lessons that Chrystal learned from the book called Siblings Without Rivalry.
43:48 White presenting child plays a big role in changing the systems
46:02 Wrapping up the discussion