This episode is part of our December Calm & Connection Toolkit - four of our most downloaded episodes designed to help you find peace through the holiday chaos. Whether you’re brand new to this podcast or revisiting these essential tools, this series will help you understand your nervous system, your triggers, and your child’s developing brain during one of the most stressful times of the year.

In this episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith dives into the real-life stories of parents navigating the tricky psychological triggers that hijack our best intentions. Identity, social standing, and loss—these three triggers can turn any ordinary parenting moment into a heated, reactive spiral. Lisa and her Hive community guests share candid experiences of snapping, struggling with morning chaos, sibling fights, and managing judgment from others. More importantly, they reveal how awareness and simple tools can help you pause, name your trigger, and respond from your higher brain—creating connection instead of conflict.

This episode is packed with honesty, practical strategies, and relatable moments that remind you: you’re not broken, your child isn’t “difficult,” and it’s possible to parent from calm, confidence, and connection.

What You'll Learn:

• How identity triggers make you question yourself as a parent, and how to respond instead of reacting.
• Why social standing triggers hijack us with shame, judgment, and comparison, and how to keep your focus on your child instead of the audience.
• How loss triggers activate grief and fear over your child, your relationship, or your family vision—and what to do about it.
• Real-life examples from parents of toddlers, tweens, and teens showing how triggers show up in daily life.
• How naming your triggers (identity, social standing, loss) can calm your nervous system and bring your thinking brain back online.
• Practical strategies to respond from your values, repair relationships after a snap, and foster connection even in difficult moments.

This episode is part of our December Calm & Connection Toolkit - four of our most downloaded episodes designed to help you find peace through the holiday chaos. Whether you’re brand new to this podcast or revisiting these essential tools, this series will help you understand your nervous system, your triggers, and your child’s developing brain during one of the most stressful times of the year.

Ever lost it with your kid and wondered, what just happened? You’re not alone—and you’re not broken. In this episode, Lisa Smith dives deep into the three psychological triggers that hijack every parent: identity, social standing, and fear of loss. She breaks down why our reactions are often more about our own wounds than our child’s behavior—and how awareness can help us respond with calm, connection, and confidence. Whether you have a toddler, a strong-willed 8-year-old, or a moody teenager, this episode will give you actionable tools to pause, recognize your triggers, and parent from your higher brain instead of your fight-or-flight instincts.

What You'll Learn:

• Why “bad behavior” isn’t the real problem—it’s what it triggers in your nervous system.
• How the identity trigger makes us feel like failures when our child’s actions contradict the parent we want to be.
• How the social standing trigger hijacks us with shame, comparison, and fear of judgment from others.
• How the loss trigger creates grief and fear about your child, your relationship, and your family vision.
• How to pause and recognize which trigger is activated in the moment, instead of reacting automatically.
• Practical next steps to start responding from your higher brain, not your reactive one, so your child hears your guidance instead of your frustration.

This episode is part of our December Calm & Connection Toolkit - four of our most downloaded episodes designed to help you find peace through the holiday chaos. Whether you’re brand new to this podcast or revisiting these essential tools, this series will help you understand your nervous system, your triggers, and your child’s developing brain during one of the most stressful times of the year.

What happens when your child is melting down… and your nervous system decides to join them? In this powerful episode, Lisa shares real-life stories, neuroscience-backed insights, and go-to tools for calming yourself when your child’s behavior sets off alarm bells inside you. You’ll walk away with practical techniques to regulate in the moment, repair after a blow-up, and parent from a place of connection—even on the hardest days.

What You'll Learn:

• Why your nervous system gets activated when your child melts down—and how to notice it sooner
• The real reason your triggers aren’t flaws (and what to do with them instead)
• Four go-to regulation tools you can use in under 30 seconds
• How to co-regulate without abandoning yourself
• What to say to repair with your child after a dysregulation spiral
• How to build a daily practice of self-awareness that leads to more peace at home

In this powerful, compassionate episode, Lisa speaks directly to parents who feel stuck in old patterns — yelling, threatening, reacting, or feeling like every attempt to change just hasn’t worked. With the holidays approaching and stress rising, Lisa explains why this is actually the perfect moment to learn new tools that make parenting calmer and more connected.

She walks listeners through what really happens inside her upcoming Discipline Without Damage class on December 9th — including the real-life coaching, the mindset shifts, the actionable tools, and the instant clarity parents experience. If you’ve ever wondered, “What if I try again and nothing changes?” Lisa answers that fear with honesty, hope, and a clear roadmap forward.

This episode is your reminder:
 You’re not failing.
 Your child isn’t broken.
 You simply need a framework that finally fits your strong-willed child.

What You'll Learn:

• Why traditional “power over” parenting backfires with strong-willed kids — and why it’s not your fault it hasn’t worked.
• The difference between power over and power with, and how this one shift dramatically reduces pushback, yelling, and power struggles.
• Why the holidays intensify behavior challenges, even in kids who are usually flexible or easygoing.
• Exactly what happens in the Discipline Without Damage class — the structure, the coaching, and how transformation begins in real time.
• Why past attempts to change may not have stuck, and how having the right framework finally makes sustainable change possible.
• Three core tools you’ll walk away with that you can use immediately during bedtime, homework battles, morning chaos, and holiday stress.

Heading into the holidays with a strong-willed child can feel like stepping into a pressure cooker — overstimulation, routine changes, late nights, sugar highs, and endless expectations. In this episode, Lisa shares the exact framework that transformed bedtime, power struggles, and emotional blow-ups in her own home: shifting from power over to power with. You’ll learn why traditional discipline fails with strong-willed kids, how to understand their wiring, and what to do in the heat of the moment to create cooperation instead of battles. This episode is your roadmap to calmer days, easier transitions, and deeper connection — especially during the holiday season.

What You'll Learn:

• Why strong-willed kids push back harder when parents use power-over tactics like threats, yelling, or “because I said so.”
• How to shift into power-with parenting, where boundaries stay firm but connection and autonomy open the door to cooperation.
• The real reason your child melts down more during the holidays — and how to decode the unmet needs underneath the behavior.
• How overstimulation, disrupted routines, and sensory overload impact your child’s nervous system (even when they’re having fun).
• Simple phrases and strategies to replace yelling, threatening, and forcing compliance with calm leadership.
• How to hold the same boundary with a completely different energy that invites cooperation rather than triggering defiance.

Holiday season = pressure cooker for kids and parents. In this episode, Lisa explains why behavior often spikes during gatherings and travel, and how to see meltdowns as communication from a dysregulated nervous system. You’ll learn a simple 3-question framework to decode what’s underneath the behavior, meet core needs without rewarding the meltdown, and hold clear limits with empathy. Expect practical language, real-life examples, and scripts you can use today for calmer celebrations and stronger connection.

What You'll Learn:

• The “invisible backpack” of the holidays: how routine changes, sensory overload, social demands, and excitement drain kids’ regulation—even when they’re having fun.
• The 3-Question Framework to use in the moment:

1. What might my child be feeling that they can’t say?
2. What need is underneath this behavior?
3. How can I meet the need without rewarding the behavior?

• How to validate and hold boundaries at the same time: say no to the behavior and yes to the feelings.
• Why not to take it personally: separating your worth from your child’s dysregulation so you can stay calm and lead.
• Support for strong-willed kids: extra strategies for autonomy, predictability, downtime, and planned breaks at events.
• Ready-to-use scripts for transitions like getting dressed for Grandma’s, leaving the party, or ending screen time—plus “signal plans” kids can use to request a quiet reset with you.

In this episode, Lisa clears up one of the biggest misconceptions about peaceful parenting: that being kind means being a pushover. She shares the powerful “redwood tree” metaphor for holding firm, loving boundaries, walks through real-life examples from toddler to teen, and offers five key permissions every peaceful parent needs to confidently lead their family. If you’ve stopped yelling but feel like your kids are walking all over you, this conversation will help you reclaim your peaceful authority without sacrificing connection.

What You'll Learn:

• Why peaceful parenting is not permissive parenting, and why strong limits are essential for your child’s sense of safety.
• The “redwood tree” framework for being rooted in your values, steady in your limits, and flexible with your child’s big feelings.
• How to validate your child’s emotions and still hold the boundary: the “both-and” language that changes everything.
• Why your child does not have to like or agree with your rules (and how their pushback is often a test of safety, not your failure).
• How to stop over-explaining and getting pulled into endless “why” battles while staying respectful and clear.
• Permission to adjust boundaries that are not working, step into calm leadership, and model the regulated, confident authority your kids are craving.

Parent coach Lisa Smith welcomes Jason Holzer, co-founder of 4D Leaders, for a practical conversation on using sports as a training ground for life. They unpack how to build identity beyond wins and losses, why effort and emotional regulation matter more than trophies, and how parents and coaches can collaborate without eroding trust. You’ll hear concrete ways to handle post-game emotions, navigate playing-time conversations, and support your child’s confidence and autonomy. Whether your kid is a beginner or a varsity standout, this episode shows you how to lead with calm, connection, and clarity—on the sidelines and at home.

What You'll Learn:

• Identity beyond results: How to separate who your child is from what the scoreboard says, and why focusing on effort, growth, and being a great teammate builds resilience.
• Regulation over reaction: Scripts and strategies for the car ride home—validate big feelings, ride the wave, and revisit skills later when everyone’s regulated.
• Smart coach communication: How to approach coaches with curiosity and respect, ask about standards for playing time, and keep the coach–kid relationship intact.
• Ownership and feedback: Ways to help your child earn opportunity, seek feedback directly from coaches, and build confidence through responsibility.
• Fun and flow matter: Why play, variety, and relaxation improve performance, and how to pair a relaxed body with best effort for that “in the flow” feeling.
• Be the fan they want: The golden question—“What kind of fan do you want me to be?”—plus how to update your approach as your child grows and preferences change.

Screen-time fights aren’t really about screens—they’re about leadership. In this episode, Lisa breaks down why device limits feel so hard (hello, underdeveloped prefrontal cortex and dopamine loops), how we accidentally train kids to ignore us, and what to do instead. You’ll learn a simple, repeatable framework to set clear limits, hold them without overexplaining, and stay regulated while your child has big feelings. If you can lead calmly around screens, you can lead calmly around anything.

What You'll Learn:

• Why kids can’t self-regulate screens (brain development + persuasive design) and why that matters for your limits.
• The leadership shift from proving you’re in charge to simply being in charge—firm and kind, not harsh or permissive.
• The 5-step Screen-Time Framework: set in advance, state calmly (don’t ask), acknowledge and hold with “and,” stop talking and follow through, stay regulated.
• The magic script that validates feelings while keeping the boundary: “I know you want to keep playing, and screen time is over now because time is up.”
• What to expect when you get consistent (extinction bursts, testing) and how to keep your cool through the storm.
• Two quick homework practices to change the pattern this week: a Boundary Audit and a one-boundary Practice Run.

Ever wonder why you can stay calm leading a team at work… but lose your cool when your 7-year-old won’t put her dish in the dishwasher?

In this thought-provoking and heart-opening episode of Real World Peaceful Parenting, Lisa Smith sits down with Shawna Samuel, host of The Mental Offload, to explore the powerful parallels between leadership in the workplace and leadership at home.

Together, they unpack why your child’s developing brain reacts differently than your colleagues’, why “getting curious, not furious” changes everything, and how to bring your most grounded, confident leadership self into your parenting — without sliding into command and control.

This episode will challenge what you think leadership looks like at home, and leave you with a new vision for peaceful, powerful parenting.

What You'll Learn:

• Why strong leadership at home starts with regulation, not control
• How your child’s developing brain and auditory system affect listening, focus, and compliance
• The difference between dominant, permissive, and peaceful parenting — and how to find the balance
• How to use your power to come alongside your child instead of over or under them
• Simple leadership habits that strengthen connection, including the 5-minute after-work reset
• Why connection is your 401k for parenting — and how small moments of presence pay off for years