Episode 352 – Allow the deeper you to emerge

Today we have Kendall. He is 30, from Texas, and took his last drink on March 13, 2021.

Paul shares some personal insights on the growth of Recovery Elevator.

Highlights from Paul

Paul resumes the discussion about having a game plan for the holidays. He reminds us that alcohol can have catastrophic effects.

A recap from last week: 1) Accountability, 2) Stock up on AF beverages, 3) Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy. Paul introduces three additional concepts: 1) Develop a cravings plan and get specific, 2) JOMO – find something this holiday season to say "no" to and savor the new boundary, 3) Pick your holiday theme song.

When you begin the journey in a life without alcohol, an incredible thing begins to take place. You get to experience a transformation that allows the deeper you to emerge. You get to know yourself, your true and authentic self, your needs, wants, desires and more. Paul encourages us to listen to the inner voice and the guidance it provides to tell us what we need, when we need it and how to get it. Our inner voice will help us to fully live a human life with all its ups and downs. When we are true to our authentic selves, we get to embrace the full palette of human emotions, we learn to stand up for ourselves and learn to create a life that no longer involves alcohol.

Listen to the pep talk segment here: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/

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[10:11] Kendall took his last drink 3/13/2021. He is 30 years old and has a young daughter and enjoys skate boarding. Kendall started drinking at age 14. He smoked, drank, and hung out with his friends. He didn't drink frequently, but every time he did, he got very drunk.

Kendall's sober journey began NYE 2019 when he was going through his divorce. He didn't want to be "that guy" who drowned himself in alcohol. He thought he was healed at 50 days. He was out of control. His drinking escalated dramatically. He would quit for a day, but he was having fun. At some point he reflected on his behavior. His ex-wife sent him pictures of empty bottles she found in the house. Kendall realized he was resentful at his wife for not letting him drink the way he wanted to. Kendall hid his drinking. He used it as an outlet to escape his depression.

Odette found Kendall through his participation in the Café RE roll call. She watched him start to count days. In April 2020, Kendall found RE. He was in lockdown and still drinking daily. Kendall connected with Paul's energy on the RE podcast. He tricked himself through several day ones and eventually he hit a day 3, then a day 7, then a day 27. He used the term, "field research" as a pass to drink. Publicly posting on his social media helped him gain accountability and receive love.

Kendall's skating friends are incredibly supportive of his sobriety. They have come to his house when he was having cravings. Now Kendall is more emotionally aware. Kendall's cravings are nostalgia cravings. His slip-ups have created a strong foundation for him to stay sober. Dating is hard because everybody wants to meet for a drink. He was falling apart one day, and he got support from his community and they helped him through.

Odette's Summary

If you are on the struggle bus right now, hold on! Bad days and low emotions are part of the journey. Just when you are completely overwhelmed and spiraling, you will have a normal day. Emotions do level out and the intensity dissipates. Hold on! Know that you will turn a corner soon. Reach out for help. Slow and steady wins the race.

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Episode 351 – Strength and Courage

Today we have Tom. He is 47, from Bozeman, MT, and took his last drink on September 24, 2019.

Café RE's annual on-line conference called Regionals starts Friday 11/12-13/2021. This is a Café RE members' only free event. This will include yoga, sound healing, meditations, and breakout rooms. Go to:

www.recoveryelevator.com promo code: opportunity for more info.

Highlights from Paul

Paul shares some helpful hints from listeners to develop a game plan for the holidays. There are 54 days left in 2021 and Paul is encouraging you to start now with your plan to ditch the booze.

1) Accountability – get an accountability partner. Café RE members' email: [email protected] with your name, age, location, male or female, and date of last drink and KMac will get you paired. If you are going somewhere for a holiday gathering, let the host know you won't be drinking and ask them not to offer you any alcohol. 2) Stock up and treat yourself to AF beverages (+chocolate +ice cream). 3) Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy, so your focus isn't on what you are giving up, but on doing more of something you enjoy.

Paul reminds us to practice new habits including listening to music when you get triggered. Listen to some of Paul's favorites here: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/

If you find yourself overwhelmed with getting or staying sober, remind yourself that up until this moment, everything has worked out just fine. You don't have to have it all figured out. Nobody does. Your job is to keep moving forward and making progress. But not aimlessly. When we remove alcohol, we also remove the veil of illusion. At first this is lonely and scary. This allows us to be more authentic. Give this life reboot some time. Trust me. Trust yourself.

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[11:52] Tom took his last drink on September 24, 2019. He is 47, a surgical nurse and is married with two kids. He loves fly fishing, snowboarding, running, live music, hiking cooking, playing guitar and yo yo's.

Tom came from a long history of drinkers. Tom was a victim of sexual assault and bullying. He didn't drink regularly until late high school/early college. He described never feeling comfortable in his own skin. Drinking helped him overcome that discomfort. Tom's drinking ramped up in college. He also smoked pot and was never a normal drinker.

At age 30, Tom made a career change and went to nursing school with the goal of being a family man. He became a surgical nurse and has been in the field ever since. After moving to Bozeman, the effects of years of drinking started to take their toll. He drank to black out, drank and drove and hid his drinking. He quit once on his own for two months, then drank for another five years. After a difficult conversation with his wife, he quit drinking the next day.

Tom described living a double life because his behavior at work and at home were completely different.

Tom leveraged AA to help him quit drinking for good. He went to meetings daily, got a sponsor, embraced spirituality, worked the steps, and did what he was told.

Tom can be himself now. He loves his job; has become a leader and he is no longer depressed. His marriage and his relationship with his children is better. He is making new friends and repairing old relationships.

Odette's Summary

Odette discusses moving toward your values to give you a new framework to evaluate your life and your sobriety.

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Episode 350 – What's up holidays?

Today we have Blazik. He is 28, from Kansas, and took his last drink on July 25,2021.

Café RE's annual on-line conference called Regionals starts 11/12-13/2021. This is a Café RE members' only free event. This will include yoga, sound healing, meditations, and breakout rooms. Go to www. Recoveryelevator.com promo code: opportunity for more info.

Café RE just made a $5149 donation to the McShin Foundation. 10% of all Café RE monthly memberships go towards a nonprofit geared towards helping those affected by addiction. The McShin Foundation helps those struggling with addiction get access to detox facilities, sober living, transitional recovery houses and more. https://mcshin.org/

Highlights from Paul

Paul addresses the gauntlet of challenges coming up in the next sixty days, specifically Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's. The holidays often spike anxiety. Paul suggests it's time to create a game plan to enjoy your first of many AF holidays.

Challenges create opportunities. There is an opportunity to rewrite the script and create a new norm for the holidays. There are opportunities for self-love, self-reflection, self-care and putting the self aside. There are also opportunities for connection. Building deeper human connections requires us to exercise our vulnerability muscles. This is an opportunity to be less reactive, go with the flow and practice mindfulness. It is also a great time to be of service and give without expecting anything in return. It is an opportunity to set boundaries with yourself, your loved ones, and people in the supermarket. There is also an opportunity of the unknown, a time of repose and perhaps a chance to address loneliness.

Paul believes you can do this. It starts with how you view it. Simply reframing challenges to opportunities is a great start. Lean in on this podcast, Café RE or whatever it takes so you do not go through this alone. Willpower is not enough to stay sober. Paul will provide more tools to help you build a game plan. This year is your opportunity to enjoy sober holidays.

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[9:47] Blazik took his last drink on July 25, 2021. He is 28, single and has his own podcast. He makes videos, music and is learning the guitar. He spends a lot of time burning energy with his dog so he can enjoy down time.

Blazik experienced anxiety through his childhood. He was high performing as an athlete and homecoming king. He acted like the person he wanted to be but was filled with anxiety. He drank to overcome anxiety and drinking made the feeling go away temporarily. Alcohol made him feel and act the way he wanted to. From age 17-27 he drank daily.

The effects of alcohol began to take their toll on him physically. He woke up regularly at 2-3AM with heart palpitations or anxiety attacks. He couldn't overcome the fatigue without drinking again. He listened to several episodes of the RE podcast and decided to explore not drinking. He went 38 days on his first attempt to get sober. He drank again and found himself drinking when he didn't want to, but he had to feel like himself. He loved the instant fix.

Blazik says that concerts, vibing and dancing are still fun AF, and you can remember the event! He is really enjoying learning to be present. He loves looking and stars and listening to music. He has learned that he doesn't need alcohol to be creative or to make music.

Kris's Summary

Kris talks about control and rejection. If he lives for the approval of others, he will die from their rejection, and exhausted from the chase. He is working on being authentically himself and that he is enough.

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Episode 349 – The Inner Voice.

Today we have Tara. She is 37, from Canada, and took her last drink on February 20, 2019.

Café RE's annual on-line conference called Regionals starts 11/12-13/2021. This is a Café Re members only free event. This will include yoga, sound healing, meditation, and break outs rooms. Go to: www.recoveryelevator.com promo code: opportunity.

Highlights from Paul

Paul talks about his inner voice and how it failed him as he was trying to stack days in early sobriety. Inner narration can tell you in your own voice that it is okay to drink. It's a subconscious voice. Paul advises that the first step is to be aware of the voice. Then you need to create distance between that voice and the first drink. Inner narration isn't you, it's a bundle of thoughts. Over time, you can let the space build between the thought and the drink so you can change your thinking. Gaze at the stars, look up and take a breath.

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[10:37] Odette welcomes Tara

Tara took her last drink February 20, 2019. She lives in Montreal and has learned to enjoy life – everything she does is for fun. She is a voice actress and podcaster.

Tara described her relationship with alcohol as a product of self-loathing and rejecting herself. She took her first drink at 12. She was well adjusted and had her needs met at the time. She didn't drink again until 15 when she was unhappy, depressed and feeling alienated. Alcohol filled a need to replace herself. A major shift happened when she was 18 and she took her drinking to another level – drinking in the morning and drinking alone. Alcohol became her primary relationship until she got sober. Alcohol was linked with everything she did. She had a lot of self-pity and thought the world was against her. She felt like she belonged at the bottom. Pain felt normal, like home.

Tara went to 12 different inpatient rehabs. She would start to feel better and didn't know how to deal with feeling better. Learning to care for herself emotionally was a big challenge. Even some basic tasks were a challenge. She escaped through relationships with men or would obsess about her looks to avoid facing herself.

She took pride in not being a good person. She became a villain in her own story. She put her family and friends through a lot. She relapsed frequently and made false promises to herself and other people. She is amazed her family is still supporting her recovery. During her last stay in rehab, she was there for 12 days and had to leave because she had been so many times. Post rehab she went through the motions and went to meetings, got a sponsor, and did the things she was told to do without running the show. Her parents breathalyzed her which helped her become accountable.

Early recovery was a challenge. Tara felt like a fraud and didn't have confidence in her own ability not to relapse. Her brain was in a constant frenzy, and she had a partner who was struggling with addiction. She felt privileged to be able to do full time recovery for several months. She has learned to have a sense of humor about cravings or crazy thoughts. She focuses now on how she shows up in the world. She has expanded her spiritual practice and is learning to be consistent. Tara has learned to enjoy her own company. Her goal is to show up in her life in a way she can be proud of every day.

Odette's Summary

What does bravery mean to you? You can choose to ride or not ride a roller-coaster. The brave choice is the one that rings true to you; the choice that aligns with your values, inner knowing and truth. Choosing to live an alcohol-free life is a huge act of bravery. Sobriety can be lonely, but bravery means standing up for yourself and advocating yourself, even when peers may pressure you to do otherwise.

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Episode 348 – We don't plug in.

Today we have Kerry. She is 31, from Philadelphia, and took her last drink on January 2,2021.

Recovery Elevator is going to be Denver Colorado at the Hilton Garden inn at Union Station. New Dates: March 31 – April 2. Register: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/denver/

Paul will be teaching a ukulele 101 course in February 2022. https://recoveryelevator.com/events

Highlights from Paul

Humans don't plug in like a phone with a charger, however we do recharge. In the 21st century we are pulled in many different directions. Addictions are adaptive behaviors that manifest in unhealthy, stressful environments, especially when we are running on empty.

Paul offers some practical ways for us to recharge including go barefoot on the earth/grass, eat live foods 2x a day, eat less frequently, sleep more, nap, read a good book, socialize with other sober people, get out in nature, do something that brings you joy, and JOMO (joy of missing out) – skip those stressful events. Recharging takes practice. Remind yourself that it is a gift you are giving yourself.

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[11:30] Odette welcomes Kerry

Kerry took her last drink January 2, 2021. She is a registered dietician, is married and has two cats. Her side hustle includes several books and mocktails. See: https://thesoberdietitians.com/ Instagram:thesoberdieticians

Kerry didn't start drinking until college. She did drink wine. She was given an opportunity to write a mocktail book with her friend, Diana for pregnant women. As with many, her drinking increased in 2020. She was drinking daily.

Kerry read a lot about the rise of alcohol use during the pandemic. She and her friend, Diana were writing their 2nd book and began linking alcohol and health. Kerry started looking at her own relationship with alcohol. She completed a 30-day AF challenge. She returned to drinking but drank mindfully. She and Diana completed another 30-day challenge together. They explored several AF options. Diana quit drinking entirely and Kerry's drinking diminished. Kerry celebrated a friend's engagement with champagne and that was her last drink. She learned so much about alcohol as an author and realized she didn't need alcohol anymore.

Kerry didn't love the feeling that came with drinking alcohol. She realized that she couldn't accomplish as much when she was hungover. She also realized how prevalent alcohol is on TV or in movies. We normalize problematic drinking.

She and her husband have enjoyed taking the sober curious journey together. She misses red wine and pumpkin beer and hasn't found a great AF alternative to either yet. She is tempted to return to drinking, but her current plan is to stay AF. She served AF options including a signature mocktail at her wedding.

Kerry has become aware that ethanol is a carcinogen and has become more mindful about the ramifications of drinking while pregnant. She is concerned that we promote red wine as being heart healthy when we can't measure how much of the antioxidants enter the body. She has made great connections with the sober and sober curious people on social media.

Odette's Summary

Odette has been sober for nearly three years. She recognizes she is imposing a fair number of expectations on herself specific to what her recovery should look like. She encourages us not to beat ourselves up. Use the tools that are working for you.

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Episode 347 – Can you heal in the same environment you became sick?

Today we have Frank. He is 42, from Omaha, and took his last drink on May 22,2021.

Recovery Elevator is going to be Denver Colorado at the Hilton Garden inn at Union Station April 14th- 17th. Registration goes live this Friday, October 15th. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/denver/

Highlights from Paul

Can you heal in the same environment you became sick in? Yes, but you can't use the same consciousness or thinking that got you into the mess in the first place. There is a line that goes, when you quit drinking you don't have to change much, you have to change everything. The key is, not all at once. Paul describes three critical changes: awareness, boundaries and staying in the body (don't disassociate).

You are gaining strength. Adversity makes you stronger. You are healing and as you heal, those around you will heal as well.

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[10:38] Odette welcomes Frank

Frank to his last drink May 22, 2021. He is married with two children, and he works in medical staffing. He is a foodie, loves sports and playing guitar.

Frank started drinking in high school. It was a rite of passage at the time. He never had an off switch and could always outdrink everyone else. His tolerance increased. In his mid 30's he noticed the hangovers getting worse and he was eating shame meals. By his 40's the hangovers lasted two days and it wasn't fun.

Frank was never a violent drunk. He was a raging jerk during recovery because he felt so terrible. His hangovers became progressively worse. He could barely get water down. Frank was good at covering up his drinking. He was sober for 30 days a few years ago and celebrated with a drink. His drinking progressed from there.

Frank's turning point came during his anniversary dinner when his withdrawal symptoms were so intense, he was shaking, sweating, felt faint and nauseous. He knew something had to change; he wrote a four-page letter to his wife, spoke with his counselor, and found Recovery Elevator. His Dad and his brother were good sources during early recovery as they are both in recovery. Listening to podcasts and playing the tape forward helped.

Managing through sober "firsts" this year (college football, golf, concerts, 3-day weekends) has been a win.

A self-described weekend warrior, Frank enjoyed the sensation of alcohol, but never drank to escape anything; he just wanted to fit in. He used koozie cup holders to avoid questions from his drinking buddies.

He is now open about his recovery and his friends and family check in regularly and have let him know how proud they are of him. He now observes others drinking to excess and is relieved he doesn't have to do that anymore.

Frank said his relationships are all positive. He loves waking up rested and he appreciates the memories he is creating with his kids. Frank and his wife are doing better.

Odette's Summary

Odette reminds us, "we are doing this". Alcohol works until it doesn't. It dims the good and the bad. Learning to stay present during uncomfortable moments give us an opportunity to grow.

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Episode 346 – There is no manual

Today we have Kathryn. She us 58, from North Dakota, and took her last drink on February 19, 2002.

Highlights from Odette

There is no manual for recovery. We have tools, guidance, but no guaranteed formula for success. Learning to manage that uncertainty can be challenging, but it's normal. Be gentle with yourself and others.

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[07:18] Kris welcomes Kathryn Burgum, the First Lady of North Dakota. Kathryn has over 19 years of sobriety.

Kathryn's first drink was at age 8. There was lots of alcohol in her household and her parents were regular drinkers. In high school, Kathryn struggled with anxiety and depression; drinking was her nirvana because it gave her some relief. She had her first blackout in high school, and they continued for twenty years.

Kathryn experienced many consequences due to her drinking; the loss of self-respect was at the top of her list. Getting a DUI pushed her to begin recovery.

Kathryn made several deals with herself about regulating her drinking. She never kept those promises, because if she thought about drinking, she did. The only choice she had was to start drinking …. In the end, she lost the choice about drinking.

As Kathryn's drinking progressed, she was hung over every day. She was unable to control her drinking. When asked if she should be driving, she would respond that she was fine, because she didn't want people to think she had a problem with alcohol.

Kathryn worked in HR and drug tested employees. When she got a DUI, it was published in the local newspaper. Someone blew it up and posted it at work. The shame kept her from admitting her problem. She didn't want to ask for help because she was concerned about what others would think.

Kathryn recognized she was suicidal almost every time she drank; she had undiagnosed depression.

As a result of her DUI, she had to undergo a mandatory evaluation and went to outpatient treatment that was unsuccessful. She went to Mayo Clinic for ten days and stayed sober for two years. Over a period of 8 years, she quit and relapsed several times.

Kathryn's turning point came when she was walking and asked, "Is there anybody out there? If there is, I need help." She has been sober ever since. Slowly recovery became her life. She found a community, began feeling better, and engaged a recovery coach. She credits recovery with saving her life.

Kathryn now takes medication for her depression, reads meditations daily and connects with her God.

When her husband, Gov. Doug Burgum, announced that he wanted to run for governor, she had some concerns. They had candid conversations about boundaries during the campaign.

Kathryn made a conscious decision to talk about her recovery because of the opioid crisis and it became a platform she and her husband share. Recovery Reinvented is an annual free conference.

Every week Kathryn has an opportunity to help someone who is struggling with addiction. Helping others helps her stay sober. After 8 years of relapse, she was losing hope. Through faith she knows there is always hope for sobriety and recovery.

Recovery Reinvented 2021 is on 10/25/21. Register to attend in person or online. www.recovery reinvented.com.

Kris's Summary

What could your voice do? We don't know the impact that comes with sharing our experience. I'm over the stigma; I am here to grow.

First Lady Kathryn Burgum can be found: Facebook (@FirstLadyND & @RecoveryND), Twitter (@FirstLadyND & @Recovery_ND), and Instagram (@firstladynd). Prior Recovery Reinvented speakers, award recipients, and segments can be found at www.youtube.com/recoveryreinvented.

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Episode 345– The Neuroscience of Addiction Part II

Today we have Stacy Jo, she is 34 years old, from Oregon and took her last drink on March 6, 2020.

Highlights from Paul

Paul wants to know your interest in a alcohol-free Ukulele 101 course. If you are interested please email [email protected].

Paul provides part 2 of highlights of a podcast with Rich Roll speaking with Dr. Anna Lembke. Rich Roll Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jziP0CEgvOw.

Dr. Lembke talks about how it's a known fact that when we are in our addiction, we can't accurately see the consequences or what's taking place. With abstinence, we can look back and say, OH MY

The interview focuses a lot on dopamine and why addiction has been on the rise for 30 years. Being smart or highly educated doesn't make you immune to addiction, in fact, it might even backfire because you think you know everything. More than 1/2 the world's deaths, under the age of 50, are attributable to addiction. Rates of alcoholism have gone up 50% for those aged 65 and up from the late 90's to today and have gone up 80% in women. Traditionally the rates for alcoholics were 5:1 for men to women. With Millennials, it's now 1:1. There are more burdens on women now than ever.

Dr. Lemke recommends a 30 day dopamine fast. But a huge warning of withdrawals for alcohol and benzodiazepines. How to do this? Well, we've got 345 episodes now on the HOW, but the trick is to go into the pain. Head into the storm (episode 341) and Forgive yourself.

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[12:41] Stacy Jo took her last drink on March 6, 2020. She lives in Eugene, OR. with her partner of 15 years. Her primary hobby is anything that has to do with yarn. She has worked in the restaurant industry for 20 years until the pandemic hit, she recently was just at the University of Oregon.

Around the age of 20, after a breakup and miscarriage, Stacy Jo feels there was a switch in her drinking. That was the same time her service industry career normalized and it all went hand in hand.

In 2018 Stacy Jo started some serious attempts to quit drinking but it wasn't until the beginning of the pandemic in 2020 that she was able to get good footing.

Stacy Jo joined Café RE when she was around 4 months sober and says she did it as a reward for herself.

She says her partner hated her drinking, and that it became a pretty big division between the two of them. Stacy Jo also got a Driving While Ability Impaired (right below a DUI) when she was 28.

She feels like she slept the 1st three months of sobriety. She treated herself like a toddler and allowed herself to sleep and snack.

Stacy Jo is grateful for the pandemic and her restaurant shutting down. It allowed her to get away from the normalcy that is part of the service industry and to have the space to get on solid ground.

She does not get cravings any longer, but says she is not so cocky to say that she won't again.

Odette's Summary

Odette reminds us that change starts with us. Recovery is our responsibility.

Remember you are not alone and together is always better.

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Episode 344– The Neuroscience of Addiction

Today we have Bill. He is 61, from Alabama, and took his last drink on April 29, 2021.

Events. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/events/ Ditch the Booze starts 9/21 at 8 PM EST.

Highlights from Paul

Paul provides part one of highlights of a podcast with Rich Roll speaking with Dr. Anna Lembke. Rich Roll Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jziP0CEgvOw.

"Persons with severe addictions are among those contemporary prophets that we ignore to our own demise for they show us who we truly are." Dr. Lembke says that drinking is not a choice but seeking help for an addiction is a choice.

The interview focuses a lot on dopamine and why addiction has been on the rise for 30 years. American society and economy are focused on an insatiable pursuit of pleasure. Today's marketers target the dopamine system; thus, we all struggle to find homeostasis. Addiction can show up as alcohol, social media, food, etc. Addiction is a low-grade discomfort we all have as humans. She believes we are all wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain, which works in an environment of scarcity, not our current state of abundance.

Paul reminds us we can't study or think our way out of addiction. Community is key!

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[11:43] Bill took his last drink on April 29, 2021. He enjoys hiking, movies, sports, windsurfing, reading, and spending time with family and friends.

Bill started drinking as a teenager. He knew at spring break 30 years ago that he was a problem drinker. He drank and got buzzed every five years but wasn't addicted. Thirty years later, Bill's wife left, and he started drinking liqueur in the evening. He slowly became addicted, and he drank every night.

When Bill hit rock bottom, he found himself broke, living in an extended stay hotel. He scraped the floor of his room and his car to get enough money to buy a few shots.

In 2020, he joined Recovery Elevator and was a lurker until 2021.

Bill still has cravings and practices "doing 30 things" to keep him from drinking. If the cravings continue, he goes to bed. Loneliness is Bill's biggest trigger. Ice cream and cookies also get him through.

Bill said everything got better when he stopped drinking. He is back in the gym and loves waking up without a hangover. His medications work better. The community of Café RE is crucial to Bill, and he is led and inspired by others in RE. He loves being of service and is grateful to the suggestions of others that helped him when he wanted to drink.

Bill credits Tim Grover's books, Relentless and Winning, with changing his mindset. His takeaway was getting 'obsessed' with sobriety. Meditation helps his anxiety and cravings.

A friend of Bill's told him his greatest flaw was that he didn't like himself. He described how the "I suck" mentality brought him down. Bill made considerable strides in self-love since he quit drinking. He listens to a podcast called Unbeatable Mind and has learned to say "I love you" to himself daily, over and over. Bill believes having an accountability partner is critical to his success.

Odette's Summary

Odette shared about a Café RE member who shared at the Bozeman retreat. The person said, 'for a long time, I thought I didn't matter, that my existence didn't matter. I recognize that I matter, I belong, and I can make an impact.'

Odette reminds us, we all matter. We help each other become better and to heal. We remind each other of our value. The power of community is vital because it is rooted in love and non-judgment and a firm belief that we are whole. We are whole, even when we stumble.

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Episode 343 – A Brief History of Alcoholism and Treatment

Today we have Charlie. He is 35, from Missouri and took his last drink on July 7, 2020.

Events. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/events/ Ditch the Booze 9/21 ; Regionals 11/12-14; Costa Rica (1/15-23). https://www.recoveryelevator.com/costarica/

Highlights from Paul

Addiction is a modern phenomenon. Alcohol has been around for centuries. Early "treatment" of alcoholics included being jailed, tortured, and often executed for being possessed by demons. As treatment has evolved, we are moving toward FLOW states. Our mental energies are redirected from addiction toward creating healthier neural connections. In the 1930's, alcoholism was classified as a fatal medical condition. In 1935 Bill W co-founded AA. In 1949 the Hazelden Foundation was born, thus creating our modern-day rehab and treatment structures. https://www.cornerstoneofrecovery.com/a-history-of-addiction-and-addiction-treatment/

Fortunately, people are recovering from alcoholism because the stigma is softening, and people are recognizing this is more a disease of disconnection and lack of community. Check out this video of the Recovery Elevator Bozeman retreat. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFoqj3xeFUI

Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20

[16:09] Charlie took his last drink on July 7, 2020He has been to 54 different treatment He just wrote a memoir. He writes, blogs, and enjoys experiencing life.

Charlie's mom passed away when he was 13. He didn't know how to handle his emotions, so he turned to substances. The emotional damage compounded over the years.

Charlie's drinking was a result of unresolved grief and trauma, emotional damage from a succession of stepmothers, and lack of success as an actor. Charlie drank and used drugs. In 2017, his health became an issue. He started exploring detox and learned about alcoholism. In 2019 he was in his 15th IOP program, but still wasn't surrendering.

He had to go back to Lincoln to address some legal issues. He relapsed several times; he was emotionally and spiritually bankrupt. In June of 2020, he was receptive to love and faith from his higher power. He decided to implement what he learned at the facilities he experienced. He relapsed again, but in July he realized alcohol wasn't working for him.

Charlie maintained a job through most of his addiction which provided insurance and access to treatment. He was privileged and knows he had access to therapists and treatment modalities many don't. He did build up a lot of medical debt.

Charlie overcomes cravings or negative emotions with music, cleaning, calling friends, visiting family. He also journals and meditates. He has learned to listen to his emotions and ask, what do you need?

Cognitively Charlie processed his trauma in treatment. He didn't process the trauma emotionally or spiritually until he had been sober for a few months. Once he processed the trauma, he learned to love himself and heal the emotional trauma. His relationships with his dad and his sister evolved in an amazing way.

Charlie began writing in 2018 but continued drinking until 2020. His book has provided some built-in accountability. https://www.amazon.com/At-Least-Not-Frog-Alcoholism-ebook/dp/B09B5MFT1X/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_pb_opt?ie=UTF8

Charlie is a fan of gratitude list and believes that gratitude+humility=happiness. He loves travel from beach to mountains and is grateful he can remember his adventures.

Odette's Summary

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