Recovery Elevator

Today we have Lane. She is from San Francisco. Her last drink was on December 30, 1996.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Paul reminds you that you're declining one drink at a time. When we think about quitting drinking, a scenario arises in our mind with 100's of people, simultaneously offering us drinks, all at once. That will never happen, and just like one day at a time, you're saying no to one drink at a time.

As Paul mentioned at the end of last year he wants to cover the Nervous System, which is what he'll be covering today, and in future episodes. Today he covers why it's important to have a balanced nervous system and he explains, in layman's terms, what the nervous system is.

[11:38] Odette introduces Lane.

Lane is in her 50s, and lives in San Francisco, CA. She took her last drink on December 30, 1996. Lane is a wife and mother and a mindfulness and meditation teacher. Lane loves to hike, listen to really good music and dance.

Lane had her first drink at the age of 12 and blacked out. This pattern continued with her into her 20s. She loved the effect that alcohol had on her. She was very involved in sports during school and nobody knew she was drinking like she was.

Everything on the outside looked normal, but on the inside she depended on that drink. She didn't think she had a problem because her friends drank like she did. To be hungover was normal, was life.

It wasn't until she sent her best friend to the hospital with a concussion, while in a blackout, that she started to think that something was wrong with her drinking.

On New Years Eve (1996) she went to a "meeting" with some friends, unknowingly this meeting turned out to be an AA meeting. She heard the message of recovery that night and had hope.

When Lane was 5 years sober she fell into Buddhism and found a way out, through prayer and meditation and that has been the golden thread throughout the last 20 years of her recovery.

Lane says becoming a mother 12 years ago has been the most challenging thing in her recovery.

You may have to say adios to booze if...

you just drank and you get into a car and you drive.

Odette's final thoughts:

Take care of yourself, believe in yourself and believe in possibility.

Upcoming events, retreats and courses:

• You can find more information about our events

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

"Recovery Elevator –together is always better- I love you guys."

Today we have Shea. She is 42 years old and from Michigan. Her last drink was on August 9, 2021.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

From Paul: "I cannot tell you how to quit drinking"

For Paul the most important thing that helped him along his journey to being alcohol free is: accountability. Paul tells his story of one of his attempts to stop drinking in 2014. He told his family he needed help.

Paul's 2022 goal is simply: To be sober.

As he continues to build time away from alcohol, he wants to remind listeners that even he doesn't have it all together. And the thing he's most proud of is the ability to recognize the insanity of his own thinking mind.

* Silencio Bruno *

[09:03] Odette introduces Shea.

Shea is 42 years old and from Michigan. She took her last drink on August 9, 2021. She has two boys, a full time physicians assistant for cardiac surgery and is also in Law School. For fun she loves to move her body, recovery related activities and build community.

In Shea's senior year of high school she began to develop coping mechanisms for trauma through her life. At first the focus was on an eating disorder and then she turned to alcohol. Immediately she took to alcohol and drugs and she lost all fear. While she knew this path was wrong, she wanted freedom and thought it was here. By 18 she had developed an addiction to heroin, but focused on school with daily drinking. During this time she also attended her first AA meeting. Through some admitted luck she was able to avoid jail time and was put into a court appointed drug and alcohol program.

After 13 years (2015) of alcohol and drug recovery she decided she wasn't an addict anymore and began to drink again and would be able to moderate. Before the first glass of wine was done she was planning the second.

The community and steps of AA work for her, knowing that there are a million different avenues she can take to recovery has made her experience this time around different and meaningful. Finding and accepting her own self honesty has given her freedom.

You may have to say adios to booze if...

you are finding bottles in your basement in old boxes and you don't remember putting them there.

Odette's final thoughts:

This is a great time to set some goals and intentions. Write down what you want to happen this year.

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

"Recovery Elevator –together is always better- I love you guys."

Today we have Randy. He is 43, from Indianapolis, and took his last drink on December 30, 2016.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Highlights from Paul

This week's tips from Paul include: 1) not everyone drinks, 2) sing, 3) give yourself a hug and say I love you.

There is a lot of uncertainty in the world and change is hard. Find your song, that melody in your soul that is uniquely you that you sing over and over. You are the master creator of your life. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/

[9:27] Randy has been sober for nearly 5 years. He is married with 4 kids and loves animals and running.

Randy was on episode 129. Randy was in the restaurant business, and he was always surrounded by people who drank. Toward the end, the hangovers and anxiety began to take a toll on him.

Drinking was a reward for Randy. Today, Randy doesn't have to think about drinking. He isn't spending money on alcohol. Now he can afford season tickets to the Colt's game. He doesn't have to think about getting there or getting back, because he is sober.

Randy is now methodical vs living on instant gratification. He is more approachable and he loves giving service to others.

Initially watching football was really hard for Randy, because the sport was so engrained with alcohol. Now he enjoys games more than ever.

Kris's Summary

Kris speaks to the term chosen family. Kris' recovery family wants him to be successful and free. They take him at his best and his worst. They laugh together, cry together, dance and walk the path together. We need to open up, be vulnerable and let others love us until we learn to love ourselves. You can do this.

Holiday 2021 AF Survival Guide

• Stock up on your favorite AF beverages or another type of treat.
• Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy.
• Develop a detailed craving game plan.
• FOMO to JOMO - Pick an upcoming event and sit it out.
• Select a Holiday Theme Song.
• Pick your Thanksgiving beverage of choice and enjoy
• One minute of intense mindfulness
• Sticky Note - Write a reminder, affirmation, or goal on a sticky note and place it somewhere where you'll see it each day
• Have a fun escape plan
• Offer to do the dishes
• Study your why's
• Rest
• Uno reverse card
• Remind yourself you are safe
• Play the tape forward
• Treat yourself to a gift
• Take 3 deep breaths

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

• You can find more information about our events

Resources

Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Jenn. She is 34, from Michigan, and took her last drink on April 10, 2020.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Highlights from Paul

Paul talks about the parameters for success. There's an unhealthy paradigm in the sobriety world that it's all a bust if we drink once. While continuous sobriety is the ultimate goal, getting there is never pretty, and most likely is launched off a series of relapses or field research. If you are drinking less than you did last holiday season, that's a huge improvement.

This week's tips from Paul include: 1) say no, 2) practice saying no, 3) create your own pep talk.

Sometimes the desire to stop drinking only swirls in our thoughts. Don't underestimate the power of thought. Our thoughts are powerful. They create our world. Immediately discard the thoughts that don't align with your goals. Deconstruct them and become aware of thoughts that are not congruent with what you want and need in life. Use the thinking mind for creation and visualization. Visualize that you no longer drink. Repeat it, say it out loud and repeat it again. What you put in is what you get back. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/

[12;43] Jenn took her last drink April 10, 2020. She has a husband, two children and loves hiking, being in nature and spending time with her family.

Jenn said from her first sip of alcohol she felt some inner peace. Her first black out was at age 14. She started off with a bang and got in plenty of trouble. She experienced some trauma and started to use alcohol as her coping mechanism. She had suicidal ideations and started cutting. She drank a 5th a night. Before she turned 21, she added cocaine.

She was a functioning alcoholic through her twenties and early thirties. In her thirties, her drinking took on a dark shift. She was suicidal and she knew that she had to save herself and get some help. Jenn had to be brutally honest with herself. She was asking the wrong people for help. Her internal and external worlds were completely opposed.

Jenn had multiple attempts at sobriety. She worked with a therapist for two years and real change began. The accountability of Café RE reinforced her commitment to sobriety. She is now a recovery coach.

Odette's Summary

Odette reminds us that change starts with us. If you are waiting for things to change, for people to change, for life to change, you may be waiting for a long time. Recovery is our responsibility. Everything that we wish to see in others needs to start with us. Be the person you wish everyone around you was and see how life can change.

"I really think the secret to being loved is to love. And the secret to being interesting is being interested. And the secret to having a friend is being a friend."

Holiday 2021 AF Survival Guide

• Stock up on your favorite AF beverages or another type of treat.
• Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy.
• Develop a detailed craving game plan.
• FOMO to JOMO - Pick an upcoming event and sit it out.
• Select a Holiday Theme Song.
• Pick your Thanksgiving beverage of choice and enjoy
• One minute of intense mindfulness
• Sticky Note - Write a reminder, affirmation, or goal on a sticky note and place it somewhere where you'll see it each day
• Have a fun escape plan
• Offer to do the dishes
• Study your why's
• Rest
• Uno reverse card
• Remind yourself you are safe
• Play the tape forward
• Treat yourself to a gift
• Take 3 deep breaths

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

• You can find more information about our events

Resources

Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Ashley. She is 35 from Orange County, CA, and took her last drink on January 7, 2006.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Highlights from Paul

Paul encourages you to check in with yourself about your feelings about your AF journey. There are more recovery modalities than ever. Keep searching for the one that works for you. This week's tips are: Play the tape forward. Treat yourself to a gift. Take three deep breaths into the lower lobes of the lung.

Drinking served a purpose for you initially. Alcohol suppresses your inner turmoil: It gives you a sense of calm. As you continue to suppress those voices, they grow louder, and you must drink more to make those feelings go away. If you continue to override your internal guidance system, you live life truly blind, and nothing of significance takes place. When do the miracles of sobriety occur? Day 1, day 500? It's up to you to find out. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/

Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20

[12:45] Ashley took her last drink on January 7, 2006. She is married, has twin boys, and in 2010 co-founded an SV start-up that offers online outpatient addiction treatment. She has a podcast called the courage to change. https://www.lionrock.life/couragetochangepodcast She is finishing her MBA, loves yoga, the outdoors, reading and comedy. Since she got sober at 19, she has been revisiting fun at her current stage of life.

Ashley's first drink was a beer she stole from her parents' fridge, and it took her a week to finish it. She felt like she was born with her skin too tight and always believed she was too much. She tried to make herself into what others wanted her to be.

Ashley hired alcohol and drugs to do a job for her to make her feel okay and want to be on the planet. By age 14, she was addicted to cocaine. Through a boyfriend, she got addicted to heroin. She was sent to several lockdown programs that were popular in early 2000. She couldn't stay sober in treatment. She would create disasters, leave, and change treatment centers. She eventually left treatment and decided to drink instead of doing drugs.

In 2006 she started going to AA meetings, listening, and letting go of her old ideas, which was hard to do. Her life became different when she let others help her and did what they said. She went to college, had relationships, and started a company.

Instagram: @sobermomsquad ; https://www.lionrockrecovery.com/

Ashley went to meetings four days a week in early sobriety and participated in the fellowship. Ashley did not heal her trauma in 12-step; therapy was essential for Ashley to do the work. A young people's AA group in So CA allowed her to meet some great young people, and they partied without the alcohol. She has been reinventing her recovery since having children.

Odette's Summary

Where do I feel safe enough to be my best calm self?

Holiday 2021 AF Survival Guide

• Stock up on your favorite AF beverages or another type of treat.
• Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy.
• Develop a detailed craving game plan.
• FOMO to JOMO - Pick an upcoming event and sit it out.
• Select a Holiday Theme Song.
• Pick your Thanksgiving beverage of choice and enjoy
• One minute of intense MINDFULNESS
• Sticky Note - Write a reminder, affirmation, or goal on a sticky note and place it somewhere where you'll see it each day
• Have a fun escape plan
• Offer to do the dishes
• Study your why's
• Play the tape forward
• Buy yourself a gift
• Take three deep breaths

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

• You can find more information about our events

Resources

Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Rocio. She is 42, from Washington state, and took her last drink on August 31, 2020.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Highlights from Paul

Paul reminds you if you drank over Thanksgiving or your sobriety plans aren't going so hot, don't kick the bucket to January or to the next holiday season.

This week's tips from Paul include: 1) rest, 2) Uno reverse card – remember that most criticisms and judgments have nothing to do with you, 3) remind yourself that you are physically safe. Much of our addiction is tied to an overactive nervous system that prevents us from departing from the fight or flight emotions.

When we're drinking, there is no time left to create, to explore, to discover, to get to know, or reflect upon. Instead, we are picking up the pieces, sometimes trying to put the pieces together from the night before. Much of this behavior is the body seeking safety and refuge from situations that may have occurred decades ago. Relax and let your inner guidance take over. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/

[11:29] Rocio took her last drink August 31, 2020. Rocio is married with three sons and lives in Edmonds, WA. Rocio had an abusive marriage and had the courage to leave her marriage. Her drinking wasn't a huge issue until the last 6 years. As her kids started to grow, she became part of the mommy wine culture and alcohol was part of everything from sports events to PTA meetings and family gatherings.

She noticed she was starting to plan around events. Her husband was concerned, and always approached her with an attitude of help. Rocio didn't have a turn-off switch and she had some self-sabotaging characteristics. She described that hamster wheel of parenthood, work, and fun. Alcohol helped her numb.

Breaking her hip at a bike race became a turning point. She didn't stop drinking but had to learn to walk again and the recovery took a year. Rocio was sober curious and did several dry January's. During a family vacation, she had some great insights about the role alcohol played in her family including some questions from her son. About six months into sobriety, she started to get real clarity on her relationships and how she thinks. Connection, accountability, quit lit, boundaries and self-care were great tools. Her marriage is amazing, and she has great support.

Odette's Summary

Odette reminds us to protect our energy during the holiday season. Give yourself permission to take care of you.

Holiday 2021 AF Survival Guide

• Stock up on your favorite AF beverages or another type of treat.
• Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy.
• Develop a detailed craving game plan.
• FOMO to JOMO - Pick an upcoming event and sit it out.
• Select a Holiday Theme Song.
• Pick your Thanksgiving beverage of choice and enjoy
• One minute of intense mindfulness
• Sticky Note - Write a reminder, affirmation, or goal on a sticky note and place it somewhere where you'll see it each day
• Have a fun escape plan
• Offer to do the dishes
• Study your why's
• Rest
• Uno reverse card
• Remind yourself you are safe

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

• You can find more information about our events

Resources:

Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Cordell. He is 38, from North Dakota, and took his last drink on December 6, 2017.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Highlights from Odette

Odette has some helpful hints to contribute to Paul's Holiday Survival Guide. Odette suggests 1) have a fun escape plan, 2) offer to do the dishes, 3) dig into your arsenal of why's.

Beyond tips, Odette suggests really focusing on effective communications. Set expectations in advance, particularly with those closest to you so they understand you are committed to staying sober, even if it means leaving early. You don't have to burn the ships either, you can reference plans early the next day. Odette says having a puppy is a great reason to leave a party early.

[6:05] Cordell took his last drink December 6, 2017. He is 38 and has a wife and 3 kids. He spends lots of time chasing kids and he works in a coal mine. Sobriety is the best choice he ever made.

Cordell was raised in a Christian family with lots of family gatherings in a small town with lots of alcohol. Taking a sip of his parents' drink was common. In high school, alcohol was a given, part of the norm. Cordell didn't drink to have fun; he drank to get wasted. He started working as a welder and drinking was part of the routine.

At 22 he decided he needed help. He smoked pot and took other drugs, and it had a spiraling effect. He went to a 30-day Intensive Outpatient program. He was sober for almost a year and decided he had it under control. He would drink 1-2 beers at a party and "drink responsibly".

At 24, his girlfriend was pregnant. He wasn't ready to be a father and his drinking really took off. He lost his job, his friends, his car and was at rock bottom. He met his son for the first time when he was 3 months old. Meeting his son encouraged him to clean up his act a bit. He quit taking drugs but continued to drink. He moved in with his girlfriend, got a job and maintained as a functioning alcoholic. His daughter was born two years later. Almost immediately after his daughter was born, his girlfriend was pregnant again.

Cordell was often put in jail for fighting with his girlfriend. He eventually got a job at the coal mine. He and his girlfriend got married. His drinking slowed, but extra income became an opportunity to start taking drugs again. He was fired after a random drug screen. His drinking and using escalated and his wife kicked him out. He moved in with a buddy who was also drinking and drugging.

Ultimately, he went to rehab. The withdrawal was hell, but he found new tools to have fun, and started to surround himself with healthy people. Now he coaches wrestling, volleyball and is actively engaged with his kids. He talks to his sponsor daily and he has learned how to apologize.

Kris's Summary

Kris reminds us our path isn't linear. He speaks about binging on feelings and emotions. He is physically and emotionally exhausted. Kris encourages us to shift our thinking an reframe recovery as a gift. We learn how to feel and sit with our feelings, know they aren't permanent and move forward. Stick with it!

Holiday 2021 AF Survival Guide

• Stock up on your favorite AF beverages or another type of treat.
• Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy.
• Develop a detailed craving game plan.
• FOMO to JOMO - Pick an upcoming event and sit it out.
• Select a Holiday Theme Song.
• Pick your Thanksgiving beverage of choice and enjoy
• One minute of intense MINDFULNESS
• Sticky Note - Write a reminder, affirmation, or goal on a sticky note and place it somewhere where you'll see it each day
• Have a fun escape plan
• Offer to do the dishes
• Study your why's

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

• You can find more information about our events

Resources

Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Jan. She is from Connecticut and took her last drink on February 1, 2021.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Café RE donated $15,094.73 to organizations and non-profits geared towards helping those affected by addiction.

Highlights from Paul

Paul is encouraging listeners to develop a game plan for the holidays. Last week he encouraged us to: 1) create a detailed craving plan, 2) turn FOMO into JOMO by saying no and, 3) pick a holiday theme song.

Paul shares that when we make the decision to not drink, an unbelievable amount of energy is released. This is less about staying away from alcohol and more about creating a life that doesn't require alcohol. When we're drinking there is no space mentally for this new life.

This week Paul encourages us to: 1) select a Thanksgiving AF beverage, 2) schedule one minute of intense mindfulness and, 3) sticky note – write a reminder, goal or affirmation and put it somewhere you can see it.

Remember what the holiday is all about, being grateful for all the gifts we have including the adversity that inspired us to go alcohol free. Paul's pep talks can be found here: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/

[14:34] Jan took her last drink 2/1/2021. She is 71 years old and has a son. She is a massage therapist, health coach, dog sitter and loves hiking, audiobooks, and photography.

Jan started drinking went she went to school overseas in Italy. It was part of the culture. She drank and experimented with drugs through college. She had serious health consequences because of her drinking. She worked at several resorts and met her husband who loved to drink. Jan went to AA and stayed sober for four years. She returned to drinking for twenty years.

She struggled with mental health issues, anxiety, and panic attacks. She spent a lot of time in psychiatric hospitals and was encouraged not to drink. Jan went to 4 or 5 different treatment centers. The tipping point came when her son pushed her to quit. Jan pretended to take Antabuse in front of her son and maintaining the facade was exhausting. A friend of her son's recommended Café RE; the connection she found within Café RE was very helpful.

Jan loves "We are the Luckiest" by Laura McKowen and recalls hearing, "find a room that works and stick with it," and that resonated for her. She steers clear of situations where people are drinking alcohol. The obsession has lifted.

Odette's Summary

Odette reflects on Café Re's recent regionals event. The theme was acceptance. Odette reads a beautiful passage from Melody Beattie about acceptance. https://melodybeattie.com/acceptance-2/

Holiday 2021 AF Strategy Guide

• Stock up on your favorite AF beverages or another type of treat.
• Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy.
• Develop a detailed craving game plan.
• FOMO to JOMO - Pick an upcoming event and sit it out.
• Select a Holiday Theme Song.
• Pick your Thanksgiving beverage of choice and enjoy
• One minute of intense MINDFULNESS
• Sticky Note - Write a reminder, affirmation, or goal on a sticky note and place it somewhere where you'll see it each day

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

• You can find more information about our events

Resources

Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Kendall. He is 30, from Texas, and took his last drink on March 13, 2021.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Paul shares some personal insights on the growth of Recovery Elevator.

Highlights from Paul

Paul resumes the discussion about having a game plan for the holidays. He reminds us that alcohol can have catastrophic effects.

A recap from last week: 1) Accountability, 2) Stock up on AF beverages, 3) Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy. Paul introduces three additional concepts: 1) Develop a cravings plan and get specific, 2) JOMO – find something this holiday season to say "no" to and savor the new boundary, 3) Pick your holiday theme song.

When you begin the journey in a life without alcohol, an incredible thing begins to take place. You get to experience a transformation that allows the deeper you to emerge. You get to know yourself, your true and authentic self, your needs, wants, desires and more. Paul encourages us to listen to the inner voice and the guidance it provides to tell us what we need, when we need it and how to get it. Our inner voice will help us to fully live a human life with all its ups and downs. When we are true to our authentic selves, we get to embrace the full palette of human emotions, we learn to stand up for ourselves and learn to create a life that no longer involves alcohol.

Listen to the pep talk segment here: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/

[10:11] Kendall took his last drink 3/13/2021. He is 30 years old and has a young daughter and enjoys skate boarding. Kendall started drinking at age 14. He smoked, drank, and hung out with his friends. He didn't drink frequently, but every time he did, he got very drunk.

Kendall's sober journey began NYE 2019 when he was going through his divorce. He didn't want to be "that guy" who drowned himself in alcohol. He thought he was healed at 50 days. He was out of control. His drinking escalated dramatically. He would quit for a day, but he was having fun. At some point he reflected on his behavior. His ex-wife sent him pictures of empty bottles she found in the house. Kendall realized he was resentful at his wife for not letting him drink the way he wanted to. Kendall hid his drinking. He used it as an outlet to escape his depression.

Odette found Kendall through his participation in the Café RE roll call. She watched him start to count days. In April 2020, Kendall found RE. He was in lockdown and still drinking daily. Kendall connected with Paul's energy on the RE podcast. He tricked himself through several day ones and eventually he hit a day 3, then a day 7, then a day 27. He used the term, "field research" as a pass to drink. Publicly posting on his social media helped him gain accountability and receive love.

Kendall's skating friends are incredibly supportive of his sobriety. They have come to his house when he was having cravings. Now Kendall is more emotionally aware. Kendall's cravings are nostalgia cravings. His slip-ups have created a strong foundation for him to stay sober. Dating is hard because everybody wants to meet for a drink. He was falling apart one day, and he got support from his community and they helped him through.

Odette's Summary

If you are on the struggle bus right now, hold on! Bad days and low emotions are part of the journey. Just when you are completely overwhelmed and spiraling, you will have a normal day. Emotions do level out and the intensity dissipates. Hold on! Know that you will turn a corner soon. Reach out for help. Slow and steady wins the race.

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

• You can find more information about our events Emo

Resources

Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Tom. He is 47, from Bozeman, MT, and took his last drink on September 24, 2019.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Highlights from Paul

Paul shares some helpful hints from listeners to develop a game plan for the holidays. There are 54 days left in 2021 and Paul is encouraging you to start now with your plan to ditch the booze.

1) Accountability – get an accountability partner. Café RE members' email: [email protected] with your name, age, location, male or female, and date of last drink and KMac will get you paired. If you are going somewhere for a holiday gathering, let the host know you won't be drinking and ask them not to offer you any alcohol. 2) Stock up and treat yourself to AF beverages (+chocolate +ice cream). 3) Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy, so your focus isn't on what you are giving up, but on doing more of something you enjoy.

Paul reminds us to practice new habits including listening to music when you get triggered. Listen to some of Paul's favorites here: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/

If you find yourself overwhelmed with getting or staying sober, remind yourself that up until this moment, everything has worked out just fine. You don't have to have it all figured out. Nobody does. Your job is to keep moving forward and making progress. But not aimlessly. When we remove alcohol, we also remove the veil of illusion. At first this is lonely and scary. This allows us to be more authentic. Give this life reboot some time. Trust me. Trust yourself.

[11:52] Tom took his last drink on September 24, 2019. He is 47, a surgical nurse and is married with two kids. He loves fly fishing, snowboarding, running, live music, hiking cooking, playing guitar and yo yo's.

Tom came from a long history of drinkers. Tom was a victim of sexual assault and bullying. He didn't drink regularly until late high school/early college. He described never feeling comfortable in his own skin. Drinking helped him overcome that discomfort. Tom's drinking ramped up in college. He also smoked pot and was never a normal drinker.

At age 30, Tom made a career change and went to nursing school with the goal of being a family man. He became a surgical nurse and has been in the field ever since. After moving to Bozeman, the effects of years of drinking started to take their toll. He drank to black out, drank and drove and hid his drinking. He quit once on his own for two months, then drank for another five years. After a difficult conversation with his wife, he quit drinking the next day.

Tom described living a double life because his behavior at work and at home were completely different.

Tom leveraged AA to help him quit drinking for good. He went to meetings daily, got a sponsor, embraced spirituality, worked the steps, and did what he was told.

Tom can be himself now. He loves his job; has become a leader and he is no longer depressed. His marriage and his relationship with his children is better. He is making new friends and repairing old relationships.

Odette's Summary

Odette discusses moving toward your values to give you a new framework to evaluate your life and your sobriety.

Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

• You can find more information about our events

Resources

Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes