Recovery Elevator

Today we have Michael. He took his last drink on May 13, 2019. With just over a year sober (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF).

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Odette opens today asking the question: Is this working? There are obvious moments where it is easy to recognize that life without alcohol is working. When people say you look refreshed, you wake up not hungover and you start sleeping well. But what about the not so obvious moments? The moments that are hard, the moments you miss drinking? Yes, those are the moment when growth and change and abundance are there and about to bloom. Trust, be patient, and stay the course.

[7:23] Odette introduces Michael.

Michael lives in Springfield, Missouri, and works in construction. He is married with 2 children. For fun, he works, plays video games and spends as much time as possible with his family.

[8:24] Can you give listeners a background on your drinking?

Michael said he started drinking around the age of 14. He said it was something he was good at and within a year he was drinking a pint or more of liquor a day. He soon began drinking before school and after. In 2002 he joined the Marine Corps, which was his goal. In the military, he often couldn't drink for stretches of time, so it became binge drinking episodes. But at the end of his 4 years in the Marine Corps, he realized he had a problem with drinking and asked for help. He was enrolled in a daily program through the military to learn about drinking.

After getting out of the military he worked construction, but then in 2008 re-enlisted in the Army. The 6 years he was in the Army, the drinking continued at a bottle a day, every day. He considered himself a very high bottom drinker because he was so high functioning within life.

[15:19] What was it that led you down the path to try going AF?

Michael said that he tried to stop multiple times over the years. He began to realize he wasn't living his life to his best potential. He always tried to be the person setting the example for others, yet his inability to stop drinking was weighing on him. He needed to show that he could stop drinking for good. The idea that he couldn't quit was his bottom.

[17:16] Walk us through what went through your mind on your day 1.

Michael said he woke up and said to himself "I need to quit, again." He searched for podcasts that day and found Recovery Elevator. Podcasts allowed him to saturate his entire day with recovery. He downloaded the Sober Grid app and started reading that and the resources offered.

[21:13] How has your life without alcohol been different than what you originally thought?

Michael said he had a lot of fear about what he would do and who he would be not drinking. Once he quit, he was no longer avoiding emotions and in a fog. He was freed to just live his life. Michael has learned it's ok to be sad or angry and that he will make it through.

[25:24] How has your family dynamic changed since you have been on this path?

Michael said that he's happy and no longer hiding from his family. He's a present and active member of his family and at a higher plateau of being a husband and a father. He's always working on trying to be a better husband and father while at the same time learning to be a husband and a father for the first time since this is the first time through sober eyes.

[27:44] Walk us through a day in your life right now.

Michael said he wakes up, goes to work, and hangs out with his family. He prides himself on being an open person; he's open about his sobriety, his PTSD, and his anxiety. He tries to lead by example and with being so open, he allows space for others to be open about their own struggles.

[30:22] What is your social life like now?

Michael said from the beginning he was honest about his not drinking with friends and co-workers. They were respectful and always offered not to drink around him, but he was always ok about around other people drinking. He said that he understood this was his choice and his alone. There were a few times he did walk away in the beginning, but now he's comfortable around alcohol.

[31:55] What have you learned in this AF journey?

Michael said that he is really motivated and setting goals and accomplishing them. This past year has really reinforced this. He's also rediscovering who he is as a person, not just an alcoholic.

One particular goal of Michael's is to run a marathon.

[36:25] What possibilities are keeping you hopeful?

Michael said rediscovering daily life. He focuses on the little things in life and is finding joy in those things. He's excited about mowing the lawn now!

[37:35] Do you still get cravings?

Michael said he doesn't get cravings so much as he gets the idea of drinking still. Cravings are for the most part a non-thought.

[38:31] If you could talk to Day 1 Michael, what would you tell him?

Keep trying. Even if you don't succeed today you can try again tomorrow.

[38:59] Rapid Fire Round

1. What is a memorable moment sobriety has given you?

Being with my family after my father in law passed and really connecting with them.

1. What is a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

That I am able to stop drinking.

1. What are some of your favorite resources in sobriety?

Any recovery podcast, any app that helps you track your sobriety and music.

1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Just keep trying, we will figure this out. You will never succeed if you don't keep trying.

You may need to ditch the booze if...

You've ever considered putting on a resume that you are a daily drinker but have never been late to work.

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -[email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – keep going, trust the process and try not to throw up when the road gets bumpy, we can do this - I love you guys,"

Today we have Sara. She took her last drink on December 2nd, 2018. With 18 months sober (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF).

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Odette opens today talking about re-writing memos. Take a look at the memos you write to yourself every day. Those memos we repeat to ourselves as fact. There are thousands of stories we have written as memos in our lives. Odette encourages us to take out a sharpie and re-write the memo. Change your mind, change your opinion.

[6:24] Odette introduces Sara.

Sara lives just outside Minneapolis, MN. She is 37 years old, married, and has one daughter. They just adopted a puppy. She works in communications and for fun she likes to go for hikes and walks with friends, hang out with her daughter and eat her husband's food (he's a great cook!).

[12:58] Can you give listeners a background on your drinking?

Sara said she didn't drink in High School. She went to a party school for college and started to binge drink on weekends. When she first started drinking, she liked the permission that alcohol gave her to be extroverted. Towards the end of her 20s the binge drinking tapered off, but that was when she began daily drinking, first a couple of glasses of wine on the weekend, soon became 7 days a week. While she quit when pregnant with her daughter, she did feel deprived. And once her daughter was born the daily drinking quickly resumed. The anxiety resumed in full force and because Sara didn't feel like she had a problem with a capital P, this was all normal.

December 2, 2018, Sara found a book by Annie Grace and went from never considering quitting, to leaving alcohol behind all in the same day.

[20:16] How was it early in your journey?

Sara said at first she cried once the decision was made. She allowed herself to grieve the loss while at the same time being excited. The first 1-3 days she practiced going into social situations, being right before the holidays she had lots of opportunities to practice. Sara always had a treat for herself to keep the feelings of deprivation at bay.

[30:43] How was the dynamic with your husband? Did you burn the ships immediately?

Sara said she told her husband right away. She thinks he didn't believe her at first, she wouldn't have believed herself at first either! However, he was supportive of her decision. Sara experienced some guilt when she stopped drinking because she felt like she was taking away something from him that was an activity they enjoyed together. They had to work to find new things to connect over.

[35:04] What's in your recovery toolbelt these days?

Social connection is the #1 action item in her toolbelt. Sara said that she walks with her friends, she needs face to face meetups. Sobriety podcasts are 2nd. They keep her motivation up. And 3rd is "No treat is off-limits." Sara knows that she has to protect her sobriety at all costs. She also uses meditation to monitor and identify uncomfortable feelings inside.

[40:37] If you could talk to Day 1 Sara, what would you say to her?

This is going to teach you more about yourself than you ever thought you could learn. It will be worth the challenges.

[40:00] Rapid Fire Round

1. What is a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

The awkwardness you feel at the beginning of any social gathering will be gone in 15 minutes whether or not you drink.

1. What is a memorable moment sobriety has given you?

Remembering Christmas Eve and making memories with their friends and the kids.

1. What are you excited about right now?

The upcoming summer in Minnesota. Casual family time.

1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Don't cut out alcohol without adding in other things you're excited about.

You may need to ditch the booze if...

If you download a habit tracking app to make sure you're sticking to your allotted amount of alcohol per day. And when it tells you that you're over, you just delete the app instead of questioning the habit.

Odette's challenge this week:

Write down 10 negative memos that come to mind. Don't think about them too much, just write them down. Then re-frame and re-write them and keep them close. Read them often and remind yourself of your power. Share on Instagram and tag us @recoveryelevator on Instagram so we can give you a virtual high five! Or email them to [email protected]

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

• Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why, and the How. We will be offering this again, starting 8/4/2020 and 11/3/20. It's free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
• You can find more information about our events

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -[email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – Let's walk this path and let's walk it together - we love you guys,"

Today we have Hannah. She took her last drink on April 16th, 2020. With 45 days sober (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF).

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Paul has created a new meditation. It's 20 minutes long and is specifically geared towards cravings. You can get it here for free.

Odette opens talking about the upcoming long weekend, which is the 4th of July. She asks "how can we leverage the current state of the world / the current pandemic and our desire to not drink this upcoming holiday weekend?" A celebration that is centered around food and also drinking, what does this mean for our own choices. There is an assumed permission slip that allows you to start drinking at whatever time you want. Given the state of the world and smaller gatherings happening, it might prove to be easier to not drink.

Here's a list of how to not drink this weekend

• Bring your own drinks, make it special!
• Tell someone you don't want to drink. It's ok to ask for help
• Let yourself have fun.
• Have one goal for the day- Don't drink.
• Leave if you're uncomfortable.

[9:00] Odette introduces Hannah.

Hannah lives in Las Vegas. She is 30 years old. She has worked in the medical field in the past but will begin teaching soon. For fun recently she's been doing puzzles. She enjoys hiking, being outdoors, and working out.

[12:33] How have you been feeling in these early days?

Hannah said she previously had some time away from alcohol under her belt, but had started drinking again. So, she was prepared for stopping again. This time it was emotional, but no physical withdrawal symptoms. She feels good and is looking forward to this path.

[14:12] What happened that made you decide to drink again?

Hannah said in January 2019 she tried to do dry January again, but only made it about 15 days. She restarted February 1st and this lasted for her until almost September. While she was for a time able to moderate her drinking, once quarantine began the drinking became a daily thing and she was feeling pretty awful, mentally, and physically.

[16:02] What started you on this path to wanting to live AF? What's your drinking background?

Hannah said she took her first drink around 14 or 15. When she was 17, she lost her mother to addiction and alcohol became her outlet to escape. She had a year of partying harder than any teenager should have. Two weeks after she turned 18, she found out she was pregnant and sobered up, promising her child a better life. She did eventually return to alcohol. While she was succeeding on the outside, she was drinking a lot. Around 25 years old she was experiencing high anxiety and was noticing how alcohol wasn't serving her.

[20:38] Did you have a rock bottom moment or what pushed you to take action?

Hannah said there wasn't a true rock bottom moment, but there were a lot of moments that weren't the smartest: falling, driving drunk, drunk injuries. It was just the understanding that alcohol was what was causing her to feel bad all the time. The shame spiral was real.

The end of 2018 was a heavy drinking period for Hannah and she did 15 days of dry January 2019 but drank. And in February 2019 was her first attempt at living AF.

[28:07] Does your son notice the difference in you drinking vs not drinking?

Hannah said he hasn't ever said anything directly, but she knows he noticed when she was drinking in the past. As he gets older she wants to share more with him about her stopping drinking.

[30:26] Walk us through a day in your life now. What's in your recovery toolbox?

Hannah said that she tries to wake up and get a workout in before work. Waking up early and doing something for herself helps make her day better. This also helps her identify her emotions for the day. After work she and her boyfriend will cook, listen to audiobooks, keeping herself busy is important.

[32:28] Has it been easy having an honest conversation with your boyfriend about your drinking? (Her boyfriend still drinks)

Hannah said it's been difficult; she was emotional in the beginning when she first stopped drinking and had to watch him drink a beer or two. He however has been very supportive. He checks in with her and is often the sober person with her. They no longer keep alcohol in the house.

[34:59] What's your favorite NA drink?

Pamplemousse La Croix.

[35:25] What have you learned about yourself in this journey?

Hannah said over the years she has developed some coping mechanisms, but there's still more work to be done. She wants to work on being more open and honest with those close to her. Expressing her feelings honestly and talk and not keep it all inside will be helpful.

[36:20] What gets you excited in life right now?

Hannah said that being there for her son as he gets older. Also, a new career in teaching is exciting. Being fully present.

[38:05] Did you get any pushback from friends when you decided to stop drinking?

Hannah said when she first went AF in 2019, a few friends gave her pushback about it. But this time around she's trying to be more honest with friends. In the moment there are always people who question why she's not drinking.

[39:22] If you could talk to Day 1 Hannah, what would you say to her?

Just wait it out. Life is so much better without alcohol.

[40:00] Rapid Fire Round

1. What is a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

How quickly I can progress without alcohol.

1. What is a memorable moment sobriety has given you?

Being in the moment and not being hungover.

1. What are some of your favorite resources?

Recovery Elevator podcast, Café RE, talking to more people who don't drink, Sober Happy Hour, Quit Lit,

1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

If you think you have a drinking problem, you probably do. Only you can decide that.

You may need to ditch the booze if...

If you go to the store, buy a bottle of wine, pour ½ down the drain so you won't drink it all, drink that and then return to the store to get another bottle of wine.

Odette's challenge this week:

Take a picture of your 4th of July contribution. Share on Instagram and tag us @recoveryelevator on Instagram so we can give you a virtual high five!

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -[email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – Stay cool, stay weird, stay safe and stay healthy- we love you guys,"

Today we have Jamieson. He took his last drink on August 7th, 2019. With almost 10 months sober (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF).

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Odette opens the podcast talking about "permission slips" and specifically giving yourself permission to feel certain things. She quotes Brene Brown, "For personal permission slips, you are in charge of your own behavior – so you're giving yourself permission to feel or act a certain way. It is setting an intention for how you want to behave in difficult situations."

Here are some permission slips Odette gave herself after her first week as the new voice of the podcast: to be scared, to make mistakes, to ask for help, to feel uncomfortable, to fail, to succeed, to try again, to love myself. Writing these out she gained courage, the courage to run towards what she wants.

[5:23] Odette introduces Jamieson.

Jamieson is 28 years old and lives in Kansas City, MO. He works in special education and is starting grad school in the fall. He is single. For fun, he enjoys making music, reading, playing video games, hiking, going camping, and traveling.

[7:49] Can you give us a background on your drinking?

Jamieson said he started drinking when he was around 13 or 14 years old. But at the time it was a shot glass worth of wine at dinner every night. The first time he was drunk was when he was 16 or 17.

He never really felt like he ever had a normal relationship with alcohol, but problematic drinking began around the age of 21. In college he was always trying to be cool like everyone else, alcohol was an easy resource to make him feel cool and ease his social anxiety.

[10:50] What happened after you noticed your drinking increasing?

Jamieson said it became very consistent and an everyday thing. At the age of 22, he went without alcohol for one year. After a year of being a dry drunk, he decided he didn't have a problem and returned to drinking. He continued drinking until his last drink in August 2019.

[13:58] After your year sober, and return to drinking, did you know in the back of your mind that eventually, you would stop drinking?

Jamieson said in the back of his mind, he always knew something wasn't quite right about his drinking. The quiet voice in the back of his mind slowly crept into the forefront of his thoughts and he couldn't ignore it any longer.

[14:51] Was there an event that made you go sober again?

Jamieson said it was a combination of things. Between multiple rock bottoms/events and seeing his younger brother struggle with alcohol as well, he realized he needed to cut alcohol out.

[20:15] What was your plan on the day of your last drink?

Jamieson said to himself "let's just see how long I can go" and at about 2 weeks' time, he was feeling pretty good and went to a Refuge Recovery meeting. That was a turning point for him.

[24:50] You mention that Buddhism has really changed your life, can you chat about that?

Jamieson said he's been interested in Buddhism for a long time but was never able to fully dedicate himself to it while drinking. Mindfulness and meditation are not friends with alcohol and substance abuse. Meditation has been a key component in his sobriety.

[31:47] What else is in your recovery toolbelt?

Jamieson said podcasts and focusing also on leading a healthier lifestyle/routines. Being on top of himself for the little things like making his bed and brushing his teeth daily. He's also begun practicing yoga.

[34:29] Did you feel like there were new triggers for you when COVID began?

Jamieson said it had a big impact on his routine. His school was on Spring Break at the start and they didn't return afterward. He said it was abrupt and unexpected at how quickly it happened. His routine was a large part of his "staying sane" in sobriety. The lack of routine pushed him to seek out more meetings.

[37:04] What are your thoughts on self-awareness growing?

Jamieson said he has noticed he's much more self-aware since he stopped drinking. He has learned more about addiction and specifically alcohol addiction and his compassion has grown towards others. He finds himself being less judgmental.

[39:32] What's a narrative in your life that you would like to re-write?

Jamieson said he felt for a long time his issues with substance abuse, anxiety, and depression were his fault. He was messing up his own life because he wasn't a good person. Jamieson has worked on forgiving himself over the past 9 months. Through Refuge Recovery and Buddhism he has learned that it's not your fault you are this way, but it is your responsibility to deal with it.

[44:32] You're so young, how has stopping drinking changed your social dynamic?

Jamieson said his social life was getting worse with his drinking. All of his friends have been supportive. He finds he's able to appreciate spending time with his friends and his family now.

[48:15] Rapid Fire Round

1. If you could talk to Day 1 Jamieson, what would you say to him?

Be patient with yourself and know you are stronger than these problems and alcohol.

1. What is a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

Realizing that I don't have to wake up every day feeling like garbage.

1. What is a memorable moment sobriety has given you?

Every time I do something I couldn't do while drinking.

1. What are some of your favorite resources?

Refuge Recovery, Buddhist based recovery platforms, Recovery Elevator podcast, yoga, and AA.

1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

If you're struggling with drinking and think you have a problem, start looking into literature and different communities that are out there. When you find a community you like, put yourself in there. Try it for a little while without any promises.

You may need to ditch the booze if...

You're so hungover and sleep-deprived you are barely capable of picking someone else up from rehab.

Odette's challenge this week:

Write yourself a permission slip. Snap a photo of it, share on Instagram, and tag us @recoveryelevator on Instagram so we can give you a virtual high five!

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -[email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – We took the elevator down, we gotta take the steps back up, we can do this- love you guys,"

Today we have Kris. He took his last drink on August 9th, 2017. At just over 1000 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF).

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Odette opens the podcast talking about beginner emotions, also called day one emotions. "You can be brave and afraid at the same time." Feeling scared and uncertain is natural and part of the process. Embrace those feelings and you can go far.

[5:26] Odette introduces Kris.

Kris is 38 years old, married with 2 children and a dog. They live in central North Dakota and he is a power plant operator. For fun he loves photography, videography, staying warm in the winter, and camping in the summer. ND summers are the best.

[8:28] What's your favorite ice cream flavor?

As kids, Kris and his brother would always go for vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup, roasted salted peanuts, and Smarties as a topping.

[10:00] Can you give us a background on your drinking?

Kris said he started drinking in high school, he was shy and quiet in High School and this brought him out of his shell. He felt like he could be himself. He joined the Air Force out of high school and alcohol continued to help him forge bonds with others.

While he was stationed in Korea, he says he began using alcohol for more than just fun and instead used it to cope with depression. They lived by "work hard, party hard" while stationed there. He felt lost when he came home and struggled with his identity.

He says the last few years of his relationship with alcohol was really a disaster. He didn't want to stop, he was hiding his drinking and his relationship with his wife was falling apart.

[22:48] What happened after your wife told you that you had to stop drinking?

Kris and his wife separated after that and he experienced an "Oh sh*t" moment. At the same time, he began having a willingness in his life to make and action change. He signed up for a treatment program.

[25:34] How did you feel after you realized that you had to do this? When did the decision to get sober become yours?

Kris said it was during treatment. Working with counselors he learned that he needed to take responsibility for everything. He also met with a pastor who encouraged him to start praying every day. He began asking God to help guide him. He learned the burden of his past doesn't have to hold him back from his future.

[30:50] Do you still have cravings? How different is from the beginning and how is it still similar?

Kris said for the most part he only has moments where he romanticizes drinking. He reminds himself that it's never one drink. Exploring the truth of what it is, sets him straight. He notices that it's more about behaviors than actual cravings. Being short with his kids or tense with his wife. Because he now actively works on these things, he's able to more quickly correct the action. Both Kris and his wife, in their relationship, work on these things. They are both more tolerant of each other.

[40:34] Walk us through a day in the life right now. What does working your recovery in this type of crisis look like?

Kris is considered an essential worker, so he's still going to the office every day and his wife is a teacher, so she is homeschooling their children. Kris says his recovery is very similar, he just isn't getting to as many face to face meetings as usual. He's recently begun working with a sponsor again, so they are connecting a lot. He's staying connected with Café RE, his sponsor, posting videos, showing support to others through the Facebook pages and Marco polo'ing.

[43:23] How do you keep this journey fun?

Kris chooses the tone for his life. He celebrates the milestones with his family, he stays connected with his friends in the sober community, he goes to events, and this past fall he hosted his own independent Café RE meetup. He surrounds himself with the people he loves and can be himself and let loose now that alcohol isn't a part of the equation.

[46:36] Rapid Fire Round

1. If you could talk to Day 1 Kris, what would you say to him?

Take it easy and you are loved.

1. What is a memorable moment sobriety has given you?

Being in the water swimming with my family and seeing their smiles.

1. What are some of your favorite resources?

Recovery Elevator podcast, Café RE, That Sober Guy (Shane Ramer), Transitions Daily, Saddleback Church, Elevation Church and a good sponsor.

1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Be honest with yourself about where you are at. We can do hard things, but we don't have to do them alone. Try to find a community, you are not alone.

You might be an alcoholic if...

If you've urinated in more corners of your house than you care to actually mention.

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -[email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – We took the elevator down, we gotta take the steps back up, take that road less traveled, we can do this- love you guys,"

Today we have Odette. She took her last drink on December 17th, 2018 and she is from San Diego California.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

[12:09] Paul welcomes Odette, the new voice of Recovery Elevator.

Odette's last drink was 12/17/18. She is from San Diego, originally from Mexico and is married with two kids. They love the outdoors as a family. Odette enjoys learning about tea, puzzling and cooking. She often runs and uses her indoor bike for exercise.

[16:08] Paul: What have you been up to since Episode 231?

Odette is grateful for her recovery during this time of Covid-19. During her first year sober it's all about relearning habits, restructuring life and setting new routines. Her year two has been about uncovering a lot of deeper seeded emotions and being more honest with herself.

[19:15] Paul: Can you cover what brought you to wanting to live an alcohol free life?

Drinking felt like a déjà vu of Odette's previous addiction. (She is also in recovery from an eating disorder.) She had already walked this path and could her inner voice telling her that if she kept drinking the way she was, it would end badly. Her rock bottom was an emotional rock bottom.

Odette has always felt like she wanted to be normal and because drinking is normalized in our culture she didn't initially want to step away. Choosing to do the thing that is not considered normal would again put her in a spotlight. However, she knew internally this was the path she needed to take. For more on her story go listen to episode 128 & 231.

[23:00] They talk about Odette's path with the podcast.

Odette likes relating to people. She will share when she hears her own story in others. She enjoys sharing books she's reading and things she is listening to. Sharing a-ha moments.

[24:09] Paul: What are some topics you will cover moving forward?

Practical tips and recovery tools. Focusing on her recovery toolbelt and listening to what's working for other people. Spiritual concepts and how those can be brought into our lives. Fun facts, history and what she can learn from others. Hearing from others and having the audience suggest topics.

[25:23] Paul: Same format?

For now, Odette plans to stay within the same format of an introduction and then having an interviewee. She loves talking and sharing and is really excited to take this forward, she is nervous at the same time. This is about a movement of living alcohol free and she wants to honor the path Paul has established.

[28:00] Paul: Talk about evoking Rule 22 on this journey.

Odette's father was silly when raising his own family. She grew up with flawed parents, yet they showed her there was always a path of fun to be found. The life she's living isn't a dress rehearsal, it's the only you she has and it's too short to not have fun.

[30:06] Paul: Spanish or English?

English. But there may be an opportunity in the future for episodes in Spanish.

If you want to share your story you can email [email protected]

[32:32] Odette turns the tables and interviews Paul. Can you talk about your decision to step down?

Paul acknowledges that he needed to take a break. He thought he needed to start over again, instead of asking for help and delegating a lot of what he's been doing. The community that he has created came to him with suggestions on how Recovery Elevator can keep moving forward. With some restructuring there is now a path.

[37:20] Odette: Overall how do you feel?

Paul says he feels incredible. That past year and a half has been the most spiritual he has ever experienced. And even more, the past 3 months he found his body cleansing itself of anything that didn't need to be there.

[39:13] Odette: Tell us about some of the most fun experiences in your travels this past year.

Watching a woman connect with an elephant in Thailand. The elephant laid down on its side and the woman laid on top. Watching the elephant breathing and the two of them connecting was powerful.

While in Australia someone from an AA meeting asked if he wanted to go feed the seagulls. Paul put aside his serious side and went to feed seagulls for an hour and a half.

[41:51] Odette: What's flowing through your creative side right now?

Music has been creeping back into Paul's life over the past 5 years. He's been making meditation music. Also 3D meditations where you are walked through your future self, in the present moment. Focusing on the Recovery YouTube channel as well.

[46:20] Odette: Will we hear from you during your break?

Yes, Paul would love to pop in from time to time.

[52:30] Paul: Where do you think we can take this?

Odette says we can start small: have a podcast in Spanish for example. As large as: Traveling across the globe for service projects. A recovery center.

She sees this growing in all directions. The opportunities are endless.

[55:08] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

Odette: I can't accept myself if I don't start with myself. I can't ask for help, if I'm not helping myself first

Paul: We don't fight an addiction that's been trying to guide us.

1. What's your favorite AF drink?

Odette: all Tea, anything with ginger, grapefruit Bubly.

Paul: Cold tonic with square ice cubes and tiny peach slices.

1. What's on your bucket list in this AF life?

Odette: to run a marathon and working in the recovery field.

Paul: finding a new home base, follow the body.

1. Favorite recovery resources?

Odette: Café RE, Eckart Tolle, Pema Chödrön, Glennon Doyle, friends and Marco Polo.

Paul: You, Café RE, the listeners, meditation.

1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Odette: What you resist, persists.

Paul: Use the mind and locate the body

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -[email protected]

Today we have Brian. He took his last drink September 18, 2019. At 213 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

End of Season 1

After 276 consecutive Mondays & 5 years, Paul is stepping down from the podcast and is handing Recovery Elevator over to a new and talented voice. He recaps his next steps and an overview of what the last 5 years has brought him. With 2076 days at the time of recording, Paul is filled with gratitude for all you listeners. Because of you, he is filled with enough. We are all in this together.

Don't forget, you can rate and review the podcast and tell Paul the change this podcast has affected in your own life.

[13:36] Paul introduces Brian.

Brian is 45 years old, married and lives in Easley, SC. He is married with two children. He was in the Army for 17 years before moving to the South. For fun Brian likes to golf, ski, snowboard, BBQ his own meats. He also does podcasting and some PA events.

[17:20] Give listeners some background on your drinking.

Brian didn't drink until he had almost graduated High School. He drank and got drunk the very first time. He said that was a theme throughout his drinking. He drank to get drunk each time. He went through military training and service and returned home to finish college in Baltimore. He was asked to leave after 2 years due to a 0.0 GPA the previous semester.

[21:16] When did your drinking progress?

Brian said there were waves of drinking. It picked up in his 20s after leaving college. Bartending made it easy to drink a lot. In 1999 he had to call out of his job a few times due to hangover. At that time, he saw there was a problem with his drinking and got sober for about 8 months from alcohol. In 2004, he tried to quit alcohol again for about 7 months. In 2007 he got into some legal trouble but during that his now wife became pregnant with their first child. He says his daughter saved his life.

Thorough out this time, Brian says he would often be spoken at work about his behavior during events that involved alcohol. And in 2020 at an executive weekend event, he spent the entire weekend drunk. He said he was spoken to a few times throughout the weekend and that next week was his last drink with his cousin.

[30:55] Let talk about your last drink.

Brian said it was in his mind that something needed to change. He ordered a craft beer, and it didn't taste good. He ordered a second, it didn't taste good. At that moment he knew something was going to change.

[35:15] What was September 19, 2020 like?

Brian was familiar with the sober fellowship in his area and he began attending meetings immediately. However, this time, he felt very good about his decision to stop drinking. There was a sense of relief and peace that his suffering was over.

20 years of ups and downs and trying to get sober, culminated in this last drink in September 2019.

[40:43] In the first 60 / 90 days how did you get past some cravings?

Brian said that while he didn't have cravings exactly, he had thoughts about drinking. Many of them situational. He's forcing himself to remember the bad and not romanticize the good. Playing the tape forward helps to remind him of the bad. Seeing how that one romantic moment turns into a day of regret the next day. This time getting sober, Brian knew he needed to do something different and approached it in that manner. He put more effort into his getting sober.

[46:26] Do you recognize the profound leaps and bounds you have made over these past 7 months?

Brian said he has put the work into himself to try and find out who he is. Removing the masks worn and breaking down the facades of who he thought he was to find out who he truly is in this life. He tries to meditate every single day for 30 – 60 minutes a day and has been reading a lot more, both of which center him. All of this to try and put aside the ego.

[48:34] Comment on some other experiences where you have said "that's no longer me / who I am"

Brian has seen a change in his personal relationships. In the past he was short to show his temper and is choosing to not be that person any longer. He now finds his stoicism a strength, while when he was drinking it was a weakness. While still drinking he bottled up his feelings which would then tumble out while drunk in an overexaggerated manner. And now while sober, he's allowing himself to feel the feelings and understand more what they are telling him. Brian lets himself be sensitive and he can respond rather than react.

[52:50] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

I never knew who I was until these last 7 months.

1. What is a memorable moment a life without alcohol has given you?

Rekindling my relationship with my kids.

1. What's your favorite AF drink?

Seltzer water. Cranberry lime specifically. And Kombucha.

1. What's on your bucket list in this AF life?

Pilots license.

1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Keep going. Even if you slip up, don't beat yourself up. Every moment is a new moment to change.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

If your fraternity renames the yearly Biggest Partier award after you and disqualifies you from winning it.

Future Episodes:

Please give this new voice a chance, please listen for at least a few episodes. Please let us know your thoughts. Paul has asked this person to honor the mission of the podcast, shedding the stigma surrounding addiction. And also to honor the path this new direction takes.

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -[email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this- I love you guys,"

Today we have Belle. She took her last drink June 30, 2012. With almost 8 years of sobriety (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF).

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

On today's episode Paul opens discussing what alcohol promises and does not deliver. Many people are trying to fill a void by using alcohol, but it will never be enough. The journey you take and the reward you earn on this life being AF is the eternal knowing that you are enough and are fulfilled.

[7:58] Paul introduces Belle.

Belle is 53 years old, married and lives in Paris, France. She is a caterer.

[11:06] Because of the formal nature of the culture in Paris, is the recovery culture more secluded?

Belle says that because she interacts mostly with English speakers (UK, American, Australia, Canada) her insight into the recovery world in France isn't that well-informed. But she does state that there isn't the overindulgent alcohol community that you find other places and in nearby countries. "It's not socially acceptable to be hammered outside your home."

[16:58] Why is French onion soup so good in Paris?

It's situational, exhaustion, dehydration and fantasy of France.

[18:40] Give us a background on your drinking

Belle felt alcohol talking to her around the age of 21. She thought everyone had that voice. For the next 15 years she felt she was keeping drinking in check by only buying what she would drink that day and not have other alcohol in the house. At 36 she was having 3 glasses of wine a night and found it hard to go a night without. Belle began putting into place unconscious moderating techniques to keep in control. She got married in 2005 and having that partner there opened the door to more drinking but with someone else there, so it appeared less harmful.

In March 2012, she tried quitting drinking for 1 month, just to prove that she could. She got 7 days.

[25:59] Can you expand on the feeling you had when you realized it was actually really hard to quit drinking?

Belle says it was embarrassing because there was no one to tell or talk about it with. She didn't associate herself with alcoholics because of her high bottom drinking. She just thought she lacked self-discipline.

Belle tried again with Dry July in 2012 and on day 9 knew again, this was going to be harder than anticipated. So, she started a WordPress blog to talk about the struggle. People began commenting on her blog posts and she in that moment she wasn't alone.

From that blog grew her 100-day Sober Challenge, her penpal support system and a business venture.

[39:28] What are some of the lessons you have learned from doing this project?

Belle says everything she's learned are from her penpals. They taught her that while her story may be unique to her, the core experience of quitting drinking is the same for everyone.

[48:37] Talk to us about the anonymity [of your project] and how you are anonymous.

Belle said that without anonymity she wouldn't have been able to share the truth. People responded to her approach because it allowed them to also share the truth while being anonymous. Belle believes that you get sober and then you go on with the rest of your life and there exists the life you build on top of being sober. She believes that you don't have to tell everyone or anyone else about your sobriety.

[52:25] Let's talk about your book.

Belle's book is titled Tired of Thinking About Drinking: Take My 100-Day Sober Challenge. Her subscribers wanted her to write a book, so she did.

[52:29] Do you think there will ever be a day you will shed the anonymity?

If Oprah calls and asks Belle to share her experience working with 3000 people, yes. She would probably do that. Otherwise, no.

[56:03] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

That I'm not alone. And most people have identical experiences.

1. What's your favorite AF drink?

Just tonic or tonic and grapefruit juice.

1. What's your favorite resource in recovery?

Her subscribers.

1. What's on your bucket list in this AF life?

Own a bakery.

1. What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?

It's in the act of reaching out that things change.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

If you can't quit drinking for 100 days, then you have a problem. The answer is in the question.

Belle's website and all the information shared: www.tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -[email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside out- I love you guys"

Today we have Jeff. He took his last drink February 8, 2020. With 65 days of sobriety (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

On today's episode Paul opens discussing emotions. How it's ok to feel all of them and how they help us to grow. In order to shift stagnant energy inside all of us, we have to talk about our emotions. It's ok to not be ok. It's ok to vent out your emotions and break off little pieces of frustration.

[12:08] Paul introduces Jeff.

Jeff is 29 years old, lives in Tampa, FL. He is a plumber. He doesn't have a family, yet! He likes to hang out with his dog Bo and go fishing, camping and attend sporting events.

[13:58] What's your favorite alcohol free drink?

Cherry Coke.

[15:13] Give us a background on your drinking

Jeff started drinking around the age of 15 with anything he could get his hands on. He remembers being 5 years old and having a sip of his father's drink. He is the youngest of 3 and when he would visit his older siblings in college, their friends would slip his drinks, as young as at the age of 11. Drinking was just what you did when you got older, it was part of being an adult. Everyone seemed to enjoy drinking, so he should too. In college he joined a fraternity and it again drinking was just what everyone did, it was part of the culture of college and he went along for the ride.

However at the age of 22, Jeff realized that stopping drinking might be the better choice for him.

[19:52] What were the circumstances at 22 that made you think to stop drinking?

Jeff said it was the physical effects of alcohol on his mind and body. He always felt like he could be doing more in life and alcohol was holding him back.

[21:45] Fill in the gaps from age 22 to 29 (7 years) as you were building awareness around your drinking.

Jeff began working as a Sam Adams beer rep out of New Orleans/Baton Rouge, LA. At any given time there were 15 cases of beer in his home. Part of the job was sampling beers, so loading up a cooler full of beer every day and sampling with 10 different customers wasn't out of the norm. The idea that something Jeff felt was in his way, but also his paycheck was difficult to reconcile.

In 2015 Jeff began trying to moderate his alcohol intake. He didn't keep much alcohol in the house, but he found when he did drink, he couldn't stop.

[23:46] Can you talk more about when you say, "Once you start it's hard to stop"?

Jeff described his drinking like a firework. Light the fuse, it shoots up, it's great for 8/9 hours and then it blows up. His emotions would often get out of control. The days following his drinking were awful emotionally as well. No energy or mind power to do anything.

[25:22] Was there a rock bottom moment?

Jeff said the first rock bottom moment was in 2012. After a day of drinking, he completely lost it; throwing away his wallet, trashing the apartment he shared with a roommate, quitting his job via email with 2 hours notice.

65 days ago, after three weeks of not drinking, he had a beer and the next day got sick. He knew it was the alcohol and used those 4 days being sick as a springboard to make the change to fully living a life without alcohol.

[27:28] After those initial 4 days, how did you do it?

One day at a time. Jeff said he would call old friends, not to talk about drinking, but just to talk. He would exercise, cook and focus on doing all the things he wanted to do that alcohol was holding him back from doing. Also journaling and feeling his emotions again.

[30:34] Talk to us about how you are embracing your emotions?

Jeff said he is trying to learn what emotion he is actually feeling at a particular time. Is this happiness? Why am I feeling happy? Jeff is giving himself permission to have these feelings. He's focusing on gratefulness.

[35:47] Where do you want to go in this AF life?

Jeff said he's trying not to look too far ahead in life. That's been a problem for him before. He's focusing on being present and happy. He wants to grow and have a family and grow his business. Jeff said, "If you drink today, you are taking away tomorrow's happiness" and he wants to be happy.

[38:08] What has it been like getting sober a little earlier in life?

Jeff said that so far, it's been easier than expected. However, he doesn't discount the near decade of knowing he needed to try and live an AF life. There are no distractions right now during stay at home orders. He admits this might be a bigger test once COVID-19 is over.

[43:10] What are your thoughts on relapse?

Jeff said it does mean you're a failure, it's all about how you handle the relapse. The past is the past and you can start over in the present.

[44:11] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

December 2019, driving home after a party, Jeff drove through a construction zone. The police were called, and he was let go. Avoiding jail was a wakeup call.

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

Constantly being present and recognizing emotions.

1. What's your favorite resource in recovery?

Recovery Elevator podcast, other online stories of people overcoming addiction.

1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Give it a try. If you can do it for 1 day, you can do it for 2.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

You are 19 years old, get kicked out of a football game, on your way home call up a family member to curse them out, break into your RA's room and finally wake up to the police carrying you to your own room

Upcoming Events and Retreats:

You can find more information about our event here.

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -[email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up. We can do this."

Today we have Carrie. She took her last drink April 7, 2020. With 7 days of sobriety (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF).

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

On today's episode Paul discusses the idea that you don't have to quit drinking in order to quit drinking and what that means to different people and himself. When you give yourself permission to be happy in the now, the need to drink goes away. By not delaying happiness in life, an alcohol-free life emerges. If you have more questions about this, please email Paul directly here

[12:30] Paul introduces Carrie.

She is 42 years old, lives in Centralia, MO. She is a single mom of 2 boys. She sells cars for a living. Carries likes to read, spend time at baseballs games, spend time with her kids, to bike and be outdoors. She is looking forward to rediscovering new way to spend her time.

[16:29] Give us a background on your drinking

Carrie took her first drink at the age of 13 and was in treatment for alcohol twice before she was 18 years old. From the age of 18 to 27, she gathered 9 years of sobriety. After that time, she wanted to reach out and connect with other young people and thought she could pick up and drink without consequence. In 2015 after her son was born, was when she noticed her drinking was becoming unmanageable. She said her drinking got "way worse", to the point of drinking in the mornings.

[23:43] Talk to us about the last two years of your drinking.

Carrie said she has always tried to moderate her drinking, but it was never possible. In March of 2020 her boss called her into his office and asked if she had a problem with alcohol, which she replied "no." However a week later she walked back into his office and said she does have a problem and she wants help. While she did lose her job, she freed herself of the secret.

[27:38] Is something different this time around?

Carrie stated that yes, this time feels different. After getting through the withdrawals and praying that she wouldn't die, she realized that this time around was the worst withdrawal she had experienced. She decided this was the last time she would ever go through this. Using those physical symptoms to propel herself forward.

[32:54] What are you struggling with most right now?

Carries says that seclusion is the hardest. She only interacts with her children and isn't able to spend time with friends and family. She misses her church and the ability to worship with other people in the same room. She finds video meet ups helpful, but just not the same thing.

[35:25] What are some concepts/mantras you are putting in place to help you continue past these 7 days?

Carrie says that she keeps telling herself she is stronger than alcohol and she wants to be free from alcohol. Repeating that to herself over and over.

[41:07] What's on your bucket list for this AF life?

She is looking forward to interacting with her children again. She is also looking forward to traveling again.

[43:17] Do you think you'll be sober in 30 days?

Carrie: "Yes I do."

[46:28] What advice would you give to your younger self?

Carrie doesn't think that her younger self would have listened to any advice. Carrie of today would simply say "It's going to be a rough road, but it will be ok in the end."

[48:01] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

When she lost her job due to alcohol, that she needs to quit drinking.

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

Easter with her kids. She was able to hide eggs and baskets again.

1. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink?

Water.

1. What's your favorite resource in recovery?

Recovery Elevator podcast, AA meetings, reading about addiction.

1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

You are stronger than alcohol and if you surrender to the addiction to alcohol, you can get past this.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

Your 18 year old comes into the closet you are hiding in and takes the bottle of vodka and dumps is down the drain.

Paul shares a poem written by a listener:

"12 Steps to Addiction"

A long time ago, I met a friend.

Oh, it was a god send.

Together,

Streams of blood turn into a rushing river,

Shaking loose an ancient rigidity.

Like a hot fired fever.

Cracking a cast of insecurity.

Oh paint my vision in saturated tones,

Warm my blood, loosen my bones.

Tell me stories that aren't true,

The biggest lie you told,

Is that the only truth is you.

I'm tightly steered

by your white knuckled grip.

"I will make it better" it whispers in sips.

I buy another round of your intention.

To cure a mental infection,

Septic fears of imperfection,

Impermanence,

Loneliness,

And rejection.

Im being taught to say goodbye,

To friends I used to see.

These people surrounding you, you say,

"They are not like you, and not like me.

They are empty vessels floating by."

I agree,

Because I no longer float,

My mind runs until it can fly.

I keep running running running,

But now I can't catch up, and I can't escape.

I'm talking, I'm laughing,

Sounds from my mind unheard,

Like a cold air's breath, they dissipate.

I am alone.

You implanted these thoughts,

Rewired my synaptic circuits,

Into a million tiny knots.

I need you to keep making this true.

And when I wake up at four,

I need more.

I ignore the conscious mind,

breathing notes of despair,

In my ear and around my neck.

I'm unaware of the gun to my head,

And all the ways I've been mislead.

While I drink your poison,

It is me that you usurp.

I joyfully bask in your calm, dimming light,

Until I'm met with a darkness.

Thoughts reduced to a dizzying fog,

Words falling into meaningless,

Forgetful monologue.

Oh, I want more of this story you sold.

But you no longer talk.

Your skeleton sits with me in silence,

As I desperately chew on your bones.

Your eyes are barren stones.

I will use them to build a memorial,

To every drop of poison I tasted.

All the valuable time I wasted.

A long time ago, I met a friend.

It was a godsend.

I was introduced to my vulnerability,

Reduced to an insanity,

Succumbed to this power,

Quietly, stealing my vitality.

A godsend,

Who will make me climb a mountain,

To find my own cure.

A challenge I didn't expect to endure,

To ensure that I don't lose breath,

Running towards my destruction,

Towards a construct, an embodiment,

Of everyone else's description,

Of who I should have been.

Ultimately I've become lonely.

Constructed a fraudulent personality,

Succumbed to a common abnormality,

I carry this world uninspired.

This void you left,

Is making me so,

Goddamn,

Tired.

-Mia

Upcoming Events and Retreats:

You can find more information about all our events here.

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -[email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – Go Big, Because Eventually, We All Go Home."