Recovery Elevator

Today we have Ruth. She took her last drink March 21, 2020. With 13 days of sobriety (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF) during a worldwide pandemic.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

On today's episode Paul discusses the sale of alcohol / liquor stores remaining open worldwide during COVID-19 and its effects. ODAAT: it's not just for those who are living an AF life anymore. The quarantine is an invitation to examine our lives and find new pathways to joy.

Paul shares the details about his free guided meditation. To find those meditations, go here.

[13:25] Paul introduces Ruth.

They start by discussing the email Ruth had sent to Paul directly to ask him what his own thoughts were about living alcohol free during COVID-19.

[15:56] What were you feeling when you sent me this email?

Ruth became aware that the pandemic was going to be a test for a lot of people. She wanted to let people know that this isn't a time of hopelessness . For her, this is a time to be grateful because of choosing to stop drinking.

She is 40 years old, grew up in Denver, CO but now lives in Switzerland. She is a single mom. While currently out of work, she normally is a manager at a small restaurant. For fun Ruth likes to be outside hiking or running. She enjoys a good movie and reading.

[24:53] Give us a background on your drinking.

Ruth began drinking as a teenager. She first got drunk at the age of 14 with some classmates. She drank for fun as a teen, had a boyfriend that was of age and could purchase alcohol. Ruth got pregnant with her first child at the age of 20 and that stopped alcohol in its tracks. She drank very moderately through her 20s. In her early 30s Ruth noticed that drinking seemed to calm her anxiety, stressors and worries. The association of alcohol and the calming of anxiety stuck with her. In 2014 she moved to Switzerland and began a new romantic relationship that was "very boozy." Her drinking ramped up quickly, drinking daily and often early in the day.

[30:43] Was there a time during the escalation of your drinking that you questioned this path?

Ruth remembered even during the moderate drinking in her 20s, if she couldn't have a beer or the stores were closed, it created a grumpy feeling. And at the same time, she felt that wasn't the proper emotion to be experiencing.

[33:25] Can you think of a definitive moment when you said "I need to quit drinking?"

Ruth indicated that there were several attempts, but the catalyst was the breakup from her most recent relationship. She said to herself "if you can survive this breakup, you can stop drinking." Ruth learned about how a breakup and alcohol withdrawal create similar feelings/reactions within the brain.

[40:30] Thirteen days ago was your day 1 and in the email you sent me you said it was the hardest day 1. Talk to us about this particular day 1.

Ruth said that because she had had 42 days of sobriety before the pandemic started and then drank at the beginning of the pandemic to quiet the noise of everything happening in the world, everything that comes along with drinking was magnified. Thinking about having to break the cycle of drinking again, and in the extra stressful time of COVID was overwhelming. However, she found herself back in a place of joy within 3-4 days, once the chemicals left her body.

[45:30] What is something you've learned about yourself along the way?

Ruth said that she had a lot of unrealized strength and through that found herself again.

[48:00] How are you filling your time currently?

Ruth said reading, listening to podcasts, cooking from scratch, running, walking, yoga, watching Tiger King and taking it easy on herself.

[49:21] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

Realizing her relationship was toxic as well as alcohol is toxic and how they were parallel.

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

Spending time with a family member recently and being 100% present.

1. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink?

Sparkling water and coffee.

1. What's your favorite resource in recovery?

Recovery Elevator podcast, This Naked Mind, the stopdrinking subreddit

1. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol?

Go to the Greenfield Festival in with her son sober and sober camping trips.

1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Don't give up. Never quit trying to give up alcohol, no matter how many day 1s you have. Find and use all resources. It will eventually take if you keep trying.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

You go out for a couple drinks and wake up with confetti in the bed and you have no idea where it came from or how it got there.

You can read more about what the World Health Organization (WHO) says about using alcohol as a coping technique during this time of lockdown here.

Upcoming Events and Retreats:

You can find more information about our events here.

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up. You can do this."

Today we have Kirby. She took her last drink March 25, 2018. This is her story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

On today's episode Paul shares more stories from listeners, and Café RE members, sharing their experiences during the Covid-19 pandemic. We'd love to hear how you are doing through this as well. Email your story to [email protected].

[16:41] Paul introduces Kirby.

Kirby is 30 years old and lives in Charleston, SC. She is single and lives with 2 other family members and her 3 cats. For fun Kirby likes to try new things, even things she thinks she won't be interested in. Spending time outside brings her joy. Her favorite alcohol free concert was Ryan Caraveo.

[19:40] Give us a background on your drinking.

Kirby thinks her first drink was around the age, of 13. She doesn't exactly remember, but has been able to piece it together through asking friends. Her first black out happened at the age of 16, which she considers the starting point of drinking. At 19 she began working at a sports bar which allowed her to keep drinking, even under age. When she turned 21, she posted to Facebook that she wanted to hit "burned out liquor head status" and drank for the next 30 days straight.

[21:38] What happened after those 30 days? Did you have withdrawal symptoms or return to normal drinking or did signs of addiction show at this time?

Kirby said she doesn't really remember because drinking at that level, the memories are really fuzzy. But she believes she went back to normal drinking for her, which was only on Thursdays, Fridays, Saturday and sometimes Sundays. Kirby and her friends said that shots "don't count." So while she was drinking 5-6 beers, she was also having 5-6 shots.

At the age of 26 was when the drinking took a turn. Kirby got out of a relationship and started to burn the candle at both ends. Drinking 8 -10 beers a night, matching that with shots. Here is when she figured out that if she didn't do shots, she wouldn't black out, meaning she wasn't drunk.

[24:04] Was blacking out just to go away and not feel / be empty for a while?

Kirby said definitely, and that also part of the fun was piecing back together the night before. Sitting with friends and putting the night back together based on who remembers what.

At this time she also began to put rules into place for her drinking because she knew that once she started she wasn't going to stop drinking.

[27:20] When was the first time you said Uh-oh about your drinking?

Kirby said that the first time she felt something was wrong with her drinking was when she woke up in October 2017 with 13 broken bones in her wrist and had to have surgery. To this day she has no recollection of how this happened.

[33:22] What happened on March 25, 2018?

Kirby says the process started 4 days before that. She began searching for recovery options. The next day while she was drinking, "Sober Kirby" showed up in the middle of a blackout and declared to her family that she needed to stop drinking and start going to AA meetings. The next day her family told her the story back to her.

[40:55] What were the responses when you started burning the ships?

Kirby said that a lot of people believed it was a phase, but she kept the forward momentum to hold onto sobriety.

[46:34] Talk to us about the difficult time you had at the Recovery Elevator Live event in Nashville.

Kirby said she made the goal to travel every month the year of 2019. Not having anything planned for February, she joined Café RE and pulled the trigger and bought the Nashville ticket. She considered turning around even on her drive to TN. At the event, she has an awakening that hurt people, hurt people and this gave her a moment of clarity: everyone has pain. Kirby opened up and found compassion in other people.

[54:56] What is an excuse you used to tell yourself as to why you couldn't quit drinking?

Kirby said because she wouldn't be fun anymore, she wouldn't have friends anymore.

[55:20] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

Realizing I didn't have to drink anymore vs I couldn't drink anymore.

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

Watching the sunrise over the mountains on her 30th birthday

1. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink?

Black coffee or blackberry Bubly or Firebrew.

1. What's your favorite resource in recovery?

Café RE Facebook group, Recovery Elevator podcast, Recovery Happy Hour Podcast, speaking/connecting with other sober people.

1. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol?

Traveling to all 50 states, she has 8 left!

1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Why not start today?

You might need to ditch the booze if...

If you get a new chat system at work and you can add your own emojis and you add a carbomb and a bud light lime logo as your first emojis.

Upcoming Events and Retreats.

Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020

You can find more information about our event here.

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up. You can do this."

Today we have Tom. He took his last drink February 16, 2019. This is his story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

On today's episode Paul shares stories from listeners, and Café RE members, sharing their experiences during this Covid-19 pandemic. We'd love to hear how you are doing through this as well. Email your story to [email protected].

Paul also reminds us to cut ourselves a break, practice self-love and compassion. He asks that you love yourself, regardless of where you are on this journey. For some free guided meditations, go here.

[18:55] Paul introduces Tom.

Tom is 64 years old and lives along the shore of Lake Erie, near Cleveland, OH. He is married and has 2 adult children, a son and a daughter. For work Tom is a graphic artist, and for fun Tom loves to cook, which led him to vegetable gardening, which is also a loved pastime of his. Tom is also a big history buff.

[26:55] Give us a background on your drinking.

Tom started drinking in high school and found it helped him overcome his shyness. He continued to drink regularly for about 18 years. He didn't drink every day, was more of a binge drinker. Drinking made outgoing and he liked it.

In 1991 Tom got a DUI while driving home from a wedding. Up until that point Tom had never thought about quitting drinking. After getting the DUI he just stopped. He stopped for about 14 years.

[28:25] What happened after 14 years?

Tom said after 14 years he just started easing back into it, drinking occasionally. That continued from about 2005 to 2017. In 2017 Tom realized that his drinking was causing more anxiety than it was solving, and he became sober-curious.

[34:00] Was there a time during those 5 months of day 1s that you just wanted to give up?

Tom said it was more a frustration because it was ridiculously consistent and he couldn't seem to break the habit. In February of 2019 Tom got the flu and missed a couple days of work, during which he drank, while trying to hide it. Tom's wife called him out on it and on February 17, 2019, Tom joined Café RE and hasn't had a drink since.

[39:00] What was it like when you reached out for additional accountability?

Tom said he thought, why should he do this alone, so after listening to the Recovery Elevator podcast he joined Café RE. He started getting posting videos and connecting with other members. The connections led to in-person meetups which are one of the biggest parts of Tom's sobriety and life.

[47:47] What can you say to people out there that are struggling and can't make it past day 1?

Tom says that when you are getting started you have to change everything that you are doing. He also suggests going for a walk until the cravings go away.

[55:22] What excuse did you used to tell yourself as to why you couldn't quit drinking?

Tom said it was more of the excuse, why should he, rather than why he couldn't.

[56:20] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

That drinking wasn't a solution for anxiety, it was more of a cause for anxiety.

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

Meetups, absolutely meetups.

1. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink?

Virgin Canadian Whiskey and Diet Coke.

1. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol?

Meeting more people from Café RE.

1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Really connect, connect, connect on a personal level.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

You order a cello while drinking and you don't play a musical instrument.

The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up. You can do this."

Today we have Derek. He took his last drink August 22, 2019. This is his story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

On today's episode Paul talks about what a Nolo drink is, non-alcoholic beers, and kombucha…and whether, or not, we should stay away from them if they have trace amounts of alcohol. He also talks about the roll, if any, that cannabis and plant medicine play in recovery.

Paul also explains about some of the changes taking place with Café RE. Sone of the changes is, starting on May 1st, 15% of the membership fees will dedicated towards a partnership with a non-profit organization that is geared towards helping those affected by addiction.

The link to the article where Paul gets his information from can be found here.

[15:35] Paul introduces Derek.

Derek is 35-year-old and is from New York City, currently living in Philadelphia, and is a real estate agent. Derek loves riding his bike and playing ping pong.

[18:42] Give us a background on your drinking.

Derek started drinking when he was 13 years old, drinking on the streets of New York. Derek realized that he loved the feeling of being out of control. When Derek was 17 years old his father was killed in the World Trade Center and he used alcohol to cover up those feelings. Alcohol helped him get through those brutal moments and became like his best friend. He says he continued to drink like that up until 6 months ago (his sobriety date) and those feelings are all coming back up.

[21:00] When did you start to realize that alcohol was not working for you?

Derek said it was about 3 years ago. The negative started to outweigh the positive.

[23:14] What happened when you realized this?

Derek said he started keeping track on a calendar of his drinking days, verses his non-drinking days. He tried to slow down. He started making negotiations with himself, like not drinking during the week, only drinking beer. One very drunk night he realized that he just had to stop, that moderation did not work for him.

[27:35] Why do you think willpower flew out the window when you were drinking?

Derek said that when he took that first sip he was no longer in control. He said it was like a monster that lived inside of him and every time he let it out, he was no longer in control.

[32:33] Talk to us about that moment you stopped drinking, and how you did it.

Derek said the first couple days were easy because he had such a bad hangover, but the first weekend was tough because he didn't know what to do, that he had not gone a weekend without drinking in years and years. He said what he started to do was start to do the things he enjoyed again. He started to play the piano and guitar again, started to workout again.

[35:30] How did you do it after the first week?

Derek says he started watching YouTube videos of people that had gotten sober. He found the Recovery Elevator app…and then the podcast.

[37:20] What are some of the emotions you are facing now that you are no longer drinking?

Derek said that in a way he had never dealt with losing his dad in the way he had. He recently got married and could not share that with his father.

[38:10] What is important to you in life?

Derek says his health is one of the most important things to him. He said that also that just who he is, is important to him. Drinking made him a liar and selfish, and that has changed a lot. He now tries to be a better person overall.

[38:50] What are some strategies you use now, instead of drinking?

Derek says that exercise is big, he wakes up early to exercise. He has started using a steam sauna, ping pong, biking, outdoor activities. Derek also said that talking to other people that have similar stories, that he had just attended his first meeting.

[39:40] What roll has your wife played in this?

Derek said that his wife stopped drinking with him and that she has been his biggest supporter.

[43:30] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

That I am stronger than I thought I was.

1. What's an excuse that you used to tell yourself for why you couldn't quit drinking?

My friends, my social circle…what would I do, I wouldn't have anyone.

1. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink?

Coffee or seltzer.

1. What are some of your favorite resources?

Your podcast, I'm not just trying to blow smoke, it's really helped me a lot.

1. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol?

To stay alcohol free is the number one thing, and I would like to travel again.

1. What are your thoughts on relapse?

It's never going to happen to me.

1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Just do it.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

You think you might need to ditch the booze.

The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up. You can do this."

Today we have Raj. He took his last drink May 11, 2014. This is his story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

On today's episode Paul zooms out and talks about the journey. If you are listening to this podcast you are an active participant in the center of the ring. Your conscious decision to ditch the booze places you in the center of the ring. Who is the critic when you're in the ring grappling with alcohol? You are, but you can rewire those thoughts and become your greatest cheerleader.

Watch the video of the little girl not giving up here.

[16:05] Paul introduces Raj.

Raj is 54 years old and is from Las Angeles. He is divorced and has a 13-year-old son. Raj is an avid cyclist and says it keeps him sober.

[22:20] Give us a background on your drinking.

Raj says he didn't really drink until college and even then, it was a very slow progression. In 1991 Raj started having adverse consequences to his drinking, such a getting a DUI and not getting hired for a job. In 2010, and the following 3 years, his drinking totally spiraled out of control.

[25:50] During this progression were you able to step back and see the writing on the wall?

Raj said he definitely did not. He said he lived in denial for over 20 years.

[26:46] Get us up to speed to May 2011.

Raj said he always performed well in his career; his drinking didn't affect it. But in the summer of 2010 Raj had a serious biking accident and broke his ankle and was prescribed an insane amount of Vicodin. In a period of 4 months he watched his work productivity go to hell, actually getting put on probation at work.

Because work was always something that he could keep together, Raj said he lost it at this point. His drinking and drug use took off. That led to another DUI in May of 2011, which led him to the doors of AA.

[29:25] Fill in the gaps between your first AA meeting and May 2014?

Raj said he started going to AA and got a sponsor, but didn't really do the steps. In 2012 he convinced himself that he didn't have a drinking problem, but was still having blackouts and waking up in the hospital not knowing how he got there.

In November of 2012, after a locking himself in his hotel room while at a work retreat, causing a huge scene at the airport, and landing in the hospital again Raj was fired from his job. This led Raj to The Betty Ford treatment facility and Raj says this was his rock bottom moment.

Two more rehabs, another DUI, and Raj finally got sober in May of 2014.

[34:20] What happened next?

Raj said he started taking AA seriously, got a new sponsor that was pretty much an AA hard ass that took Raj through the 12 steps. Raj says he was just ready. He had to become humble, and willing to ask for help.

[38:05] What is an excuse that you used to tell yourself for why you couldn't quit drinking?

One was he had a wine cellar, he had to drink all the wine. How would he deal with stress and anxiety?

[38:55] How do you deal with stress without alcohol?

Raj uses biking and exercise, AA meetings, talking to his sponsor, and spending time with his son.

[49:50] What do you think was one of the hardest things about quitting drinking?

Raj said it was trying to get the message down to his subconscious that he was no longer drinking.

[55:50] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

That we can't do this alone.

1. What's a memorable moment a life without alcohol has provided you?

My son was in a play at school and I was able to be present and witness it, and was able to tell him what an amazing job.

1. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink?

Club soda.

1. What are some of your favorite resources?

The Big Book or AA is a terrific resource. Café RE UP, AA meetings when I am on the road especially.

1. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol?

There are a bunch bike challenges that I want to do.

1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

If you're struggling at staying sober don't give up.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

If you are driving drunk 300 miles with your 3-year-old child in the car.

The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up. You can do this."

Today we have Lucas. He took his last drink November 13th, 2018. This is his story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

On today's episode Paul talks about crisis. In some languages the word 'crisis' is coupled with the word 'opportunity'. Everyone experiences crisis' in life, but we are the fortunate ones that are forced to reach out for help. We are then in this together…think the movie, The Breakfast Club.

[11:15] Paul introduces Lucas.

Lucas is 32 years old, was born and raised in the DC metro area. He is married, no kids yet. Lucas is a UPS driver. He has a dog that they rescued from a shelter. For fun Lucas likes to work out, go to sporting events, and concerts.

[17:00] Give us a background on your drinking.

Lucas started drinking when he was 13 years old. By the time he was 15/16 he says he would routinely blackout from drinking. It was at that time he started to realize that it was something he perhaps should look at. Even though he was aware that he may have a problem at this young age his drinking continued to progress through his 20s and college.

Lucas said he really started to see the effect that his behavior had on his life in his late 20s, early 30s.

[28:44] How powerful was it to bring your wife along with you on your journey?

Lucas said that it has been vital to his sobriety, that it was so critical because it (sobriety) has been such a hard, and courageous, thing to do.

[33:33] Talk to us about what you meant when you said, "moderation in all in my mind".

Lucas says that moderation is not an attainable thing for him, that it is a word that was made up to make him feel better and convince himself that he could continue to have alcohol in his life. Once he realized that moderation wasn't a thing it was freeing.

[39:55] Talk to us about quitting Adderall?

Lucas said that Adderall was something he started taking in college and not because he really needed it, but because he liked its mood-altering qualities. Once he quit taking it, he realized that it actually was making him less productive and less organized.

[44:10] Walk us through a sample day in a life without alcohol.

Lucas said he is a creature of habit. He wakes up, lets the dog out, reads meditation passages, goes to the gym, goes to work, goes home, sometimes reads, cooks dinner, visits with his wife when she gets home from work and is in bed by 10/11 PM.

[51:00] What is an excuse that you used to tell yourself for why you couldn't quit drinking?

Lucas would tell himself that he didn't have a problem.

[51:35] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

When I realized how much time I was spending pursuing the feeling that I was never going to obtain again.

1. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink?

Lime flavored seltzer water.

1. What are some of your favorite resources?

AA, my meditation books, and "In the Rooms", which is online AA meetings.

1. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol?

I need to travel the world.

1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

To remind yourself how vulnerable, dangerous, and susceptible we all are when we live in unreality.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

You find yourself asking if you have a drinking problem.

The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up. You can do this."

Today we have Renee. She took her last drink January 2nd, 2020. This is her story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

On today's episode Paul talks about Rule 22. What it is. Why it is important to make this rule a part of your life ASAP.

Rule 22 = Lighten up. Don't take yourself too seriously. Laughter really is the best medicine. Life is never as serious as the mind wants us to believe.

[12:00] Paul introduces Renee.

Renee is 40 years old and live in Greendale, WI. She is a hair stylist and is currently working at a children's hair salon. She is married and they have 2 kids, a 10-year-old and a 7-year-old. Renee also has a 20-year-old son from a previous relationship. For fun Renee likes to hike, camp, go on vacations, paddleboard and jigsaw puzzles.

[17:25] Give us a background on your drinking.

Renee started drinking as a teenager, around the age of 15. She says she did it to fit in and have fun. She met her husband, in a bar, in her early 20s and they pretty much drank together every weekend. It wasn't until 2007 that Renee started drinking more than just on the weekends. After getting married they were drinking 3-4 days out of the week. Renee got pregnant early on and while she couldn't drink due to being pregnant, her husband continued to drink. That made Renee mad because she wanted to drink. Renee did start drinking again, in the hospital, after giving birth to her children.

[20:30] Was drinking again, as soon as you had your baby, something that you had pre-planned?

Renee said she could not wait to drink after her baby was born. She did the same exact thing during and after her 2nd pregnancy a few years later.

[24:18] Why do you think your husband came clean about his drinking?

Renee said he told her because he couldn't do it anymore.

[24:40] What was your response?

Renee was pissed off when he first told her.

[28:35] When did you both recognize that alcohol was almost the driving divider?

Renee says it was in October of 2019 when her husband told her about his drinking. They started to put all the pieces together and realized that everything bad that had happened between them was caused by alcohol, in some way, or somehow.

[30:40] Has there been a moment when one of you was about to drink and you had that conversation where you lean on each other, and you both made it through?

Renee said yes, that there had been a couple of those moments.

[30:05] Was January 2 a planned date?

Renee said yes, it was a planned date. She went to work that day and was cutting hair with shaky hands.

[35:40] How did you get through the last 45 days?

Renee says that they bought a new treadmill, have been binge watching Netflix, just finding things to keep their minds off of it. But that it was really hard at first.

[38:53] How has working with a counselor helped with your anxiety and depression?

Renee says it helped a lot. She didn't have any anxiety after the first couple weeks. It just started to get a little better and better until now, when she says she has none.

[40:40] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

I realized that alcohol has basically affected everything in my life.

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you?

Recently we got a lot of snow here and we took the kids sledding.

1. What is some advice you'd give to your younger self?

To try and surround myself with people who aren't party people.

1. What are some of your favorite resources?

Well definitely your podcast, lots of reading.

1. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol?

We want to do a lot more traveling.

1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

If you are thinking about drinking, or if you are thinking that you drink too much, you probably do.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

You do a drunken cartwheel and wake up in the morning to find your whole hand is black and blue because you broke your middle finger.

The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up. You can do this."

Today we have Janine. She took her last drink on October 6th, 2019. This is her story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

On today's episode, Paul talks about your comfort zone, why it's important to have one, why it is so important to get outside of it, and how it is possible to get too far out of it. The true authentic you doesn't exist in your comfort zone. Stepping outside your comfort zone even once, makes it easier that you'll do it again.

As for ditching the booze, here are some strategies in regards to the comfort zone. Instead of quitting forever, aim for one day, or 50% of the days in a month. Burning the ships? Go at your own pace. 90 meetings in 90 days too much, aim for 1 a week, then 2 a week.

[20:00] Paul introduces Janine.

Janine is 32 years old and is from Pensacola, FL. She is married and has a 9-month-old daughter. Janine is a former kindergarten teacher. For fun she likes to go to the beach with her family, walking her dog and spending time with her daughter.

[24:00] Give us a background on your drinking.

Janine took her first drink when she was 17-years-old and she immediately loved the feeling it gave her. Through college she feels she drank like every other college student. Janine says her drinking didn't take off until she started her teaching career, and that gradually over the years she was drinking more and more.

When she met her husband, and knew that it was something serious, she says she knew that she was going to have to do something about her drinking.

[26:45] Talk to us about the methods you used to try and control your drinking.

Janine said she tried them all. Switched from liquor to wine/beer. Still getting backout drunk after switching to wine she tried drinking a glass of water after every glass of wine. Not drinking during the week, but even when that worked, she was still getting blackout drunk all weekend.

[28:15] Was there a time when fear came in and you didn't think you could stop?

Janine said yes, that that is exactly what happened.

[30:30] Can you tell us a little about postpartum depression?

Janine said for her she felt like she lost some of her identity, her whole life now revolved around another human being. She had days when she would look in the mirror and not even recognize herself. Her emotions were all over the place. Janine ended up going to her doctor and getting on antidepressants, but was still drinking.

[35:00] Tell us what happened next.

After trying to modify, by having no alcohol in the house, Janine said she went and bought 2 bottles of wine and drank them one night after the baby was in bed. She got blackout drunk, sent strange texts, and spent the next day crying and filled with anxiety. She couldn't deny it anymore, she knew she had a problem and couldn't control it.

Later that day her dad, a recovering alcoholic himself, called Janine. She says his first words were, "I just felt I needed to call and hear your voice.". Janine said she just lost it and opened up to him for the first time.

[40:30] What was that first AA meeting like and what happened after that?

Janine said she was terrified to go that first meeting, but that after the meeting people came up and were very friendly. She said she was also comforted by the fact that there were other teachers there. She was still feeling like her life was over that first week.

[44:14] Was there a challenging moment when you wanted to drink, and how did you get past it?

Janine said she had several in the beginning. She said when those times came up, she would call a friend, or call her sponsor.

[45:25] How has the relationship with your husband changed?

Janine says her husband fully supports her and has also quit drinking. She feels like their relationship has gotten a lot deeper.

[54:30] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

I would say when I made that last attempt to control my drinking by not having alcohol in my house

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you?

Spending my daughter's 1st Christmas completely sober.

1. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink?

I am a big fan of water.

1. What are some of your favorite resources?

I enjoy this podcast; I don't get to attend AA meetings as much as I would like but I also enjoy reading.

1. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol?

I am actually thinking about taking up blogging.

1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

If you know in your heart that you can't control your drinking anymore, don't listen to the lies that your mind is telling you.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

You get blackout drunk while watching Dateline

The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out. We can do this."

Today we have Aaron. He took his last drink October 6, 2019. This is his story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

On today's episode Paul talks about it being possible for things to coexist in your life, you can feel calm and accomplished while you still have things to do. It is important to recognize both parts equally. When you are in the middle of a tough emotion you can chose to ride it out on the surface, which would be the mind, or deep down, which would be the belly area of the body. Do you best to get out of the mind and stay in the belly, preferably with belly breaths.

[13:00] Paul introduces Aaron.

Aaron is 54 years old and lives in Pittsburgh, PA. He is a chiropractor and loves health, fitness and exercise. Aaron has a 65-acre farm and plays rugby.

[17:50] Give us a background on your drinking.

Aaron didn't drink until his dad passed away from heart failure when Aaron was a junior in college. His friend left some wine coolers at his house and he decided to give them a try and he liked the way they made him feel. He continued to drink through college and alcohol made him the life of the party.

Aaron moved to Florida after graduation, he was 21 years old and had a teaching degree. He was only drinking on the weekends at this time and started playing rugby. He says drinking and rugby go hand in hand.

Aaron graduated from chiropractor school and continued to only drink on the weekends. This was his drinking pattern through his 30s and 40s. It was in his late 40s that he realized that he hadn't gone a week without drinking, even if it was only on the weekends. He thought he might have an issue with alcohol but he didn't think it was a big deal.

[29:55] Talk to us about how you tried to hide it before you fully got on board on stopping.

Aaron says that this went on for years. He was hiding beers in cereal boxes. He was waking up in the middle of the night with pounding headaches. Aaron said his wife started to notice what he was doing and started to call him out. He started getting sick and having headaches after just 2 beers.

[33:33] Get us up to speed to before your sobriety date.

Aaron says in 2018 he stopped drinking for 6 months, but then at a bar one night said, "I got this.", and had an IPA. That started another year of drinking for Aaron. In October of 2019 he said he has got to stop (drinking) and that time he meant it.

[39:22] What has been working for you these last few months?

Aaron said he listened to the Recovery Elevator podcast. He told his wife and kids. Aaron has started to tell other people that he just isn't drinking anymore.

[42:05] What has been the biggest thing you have learned about yourself along the way?

Aaron says he thinks he saw himself as being compulsive and having a problem and then thinking he can break the problem.

[47:40] What got you through your brother's death without taking a drink?

Aaron said he had no desire to drink at all, he knew that his brother's death was caused by alcohol. He no longer has a mental or physical desire for alcohol.

[51:30] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

When I saw my kids drinking and having problems that I had.

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you?

When we go out to restaurants and I order water with lemon.

1. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink?

Seltzer water.

1. What are some of your favorite resources?

I only have one, I listen to Recovery Elevator over and over and over.

1. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol?

I just want to have family functions without beer.

1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Just keep listening.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

When you are having drinks out at the restaurant and you go to the bathroom and your pee is clear and you say to yourself, yes…it's kicking in, because you know now that the beer is kicking in.

The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out. We can do this."

Today we have Tara. She took her last drink February 4, 2019. This is her story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

On today's episode Paul talks about the top 10 reasons for quitting drinking. Number one; your authentic self will begin to emerge. Number two; you don't have a headache due to lack of aspirin in your system. Number three; you'll begin to find out who you aren't. Number four; you're open to signs from the universe. Number five; you can start to see the insanity of the mind. Number six; your brain will start to produce regular amounts of melatonin. Number seven; welcome back oxytocin. Number eight; you're part of something much bigger. Number nine; you stop hoping. Number ten; you have a chance to start working on the one big lesson you've signed up for in this lifetime.

[19:15] Paul introduces Tara.

Tara is 46 years old and lives in Seattle, WA. She is a preschool teacher, founded her own preschool 25 years ago. She is married to her high school sweetheart and has 2 adult children. For fun Tara loves to dance.

[22:30] Give us a background on your drinking.

Tara says there were 3 scary moments that caused her to pause and think that alcohol could be a problem. The first was when she was 15 years old and she was at a wedding and the bar was opened up to her. This was a formal wedding and Tara jumped into the pool. She was the only one in the pool.

Tara's second scary moment was also in high school. She was at a party drinking hard alcohol and decided to get into the hot tub. Tara says she got so sick that she threw up blood.

Tara's third scary moment came when she was in her forties and was on an annual girl's trip to Palm Springs. She drank like she normally did, with no off switch, and she fell and hit her head. All Tara could think about when that happened is that that was how her dad died.

[38:25] Talk to us about right before you quit drinking.

Tara says she went to a party and started drinking, and instead of calming her anxiety like she felt alcohol usually did, her anxiety amped up. It made her question how much she was going to have to drink to feel that 'warm blanket'.

[42:50] Your Dad is listening right now, what do you have to say to him?

Tara said she just wants to let her Dad know that she loves him, and she's proud of him.

[45:20] How did your relationship with your husband change after you quit drinking?

Tara says that her bond with her husband is even stronger and deeper now.

[49:00] What has been your biggest challenge this last year?

Tara says is the ones that kind or catch you out of nowhere.

[50:40] What's an excuse you used to tell yourself of why you couldn't quit drinking?

Tara said it was telling herself that she didn't drink every day or that she didn't drink by herself.

[51:20] What are your thoughts on relapse?

Tara says that on a personal level she doesn't see it happening to herself.

[54:40] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

I'm happier without alcohol.

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you?

A trip to Costa Rica and no drinking whatsoever.

1. What's your favorite alcohol-free drink?

I like iced tea or Bubly water with a little mint in it.

1. What are some of your favorite resources?

I love to listen to your podcast, and many others.

1. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol?

A lot more travel, and I hope to go to Thailand.

1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Just stick with it.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

You put a bikini on at a formal wedding and jump into the pool when nobody else is in the pool.

The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out. We can do this."