Recovery Elevator

Today we have Wendy. she took her last drink on June 4, 2017. This is her story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

On today's episode Paul talks about incessantly thinking in the future, why we do that, what that leads to, and how to put that thinking beast back into the cage.

When we are living in the future, we start to feel stress. Once we recognize, and become aware of how often we are future tripping, we can no longer ignore it and the deprograming has already begun. We deprogram first, then we reprogram.

[13:45] Paul introduces Wendy.

Wendy is 57 years old, married and lives in Sun City Center, Florida. She has two sons and one grandson. She works as a critical care nurse which she loves. For fun Wendy loves to be out in nature, exercise, walk, and do yoga. She also has a corgi and participates in dog shows.

[21:45] Give us a background on your drinking.

Wendy took her first drink at the age of 13. After her parents split up, she became her dad's drinking buddy. She went from using food to stuff down her feelings, to using beer. This continued through her teens, twenties and into her thirties. But it was escalating and she was needing more and more to catch that buzz.

[24:20] Was there a moment that you recognized it was ramping up?

Wendy says she definitely knew that it was getting problematic and that she was having side effects from it. She says that although she didn't get anything like a DUI, alcohol was taking up too much real estate in her mind.

[25:55] When did you realize it was ramping up?

Wendy says it was in her early 50s. She didn't really have a rock bottom moment but says she woke up one day and said, "I am done." She says it was almost like she flipped a switch in her head.

[39:00] What techniques work for you when you are feeling anxiety?

When Wendy first quit drinking she started going to a phycologist, who really helped her in the beginning. One of the things she taught her was HALT, and to never let herself get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. Wendy says she still follows that to this day.

[42:20] How did you get through the first few months?

Wendy says she read a whole lot of quit lit. She joined a support group on Facebook. She has a sobriety tool box and she keeps full.

[47:00] What are the differences between year one and year two?

Wendy says that year one really felt like survival, in a lot of ways, and how to be this new person. Learning how to deal with things without alcohol as a buffer.

Wendy says that the cool thing about year two is that so many of those triggers start to fall away. She says she doesn't have the voices whispering to her, telling her how great it would be to drink.

[51:15] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

That there is an entire world that doesn't revolve around alcohol.

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

The sunrises, being up with the sun and making that connection that life can be a beautiful thing without alcohol.

1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

LaCroix sparkling water.

1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

Journaling as I mentioned before, I like coloring, artwork and gardening. Having that tool box available in my mind.

1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

Definitely more traveling.

1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

If you think you have a problem, you probably do.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

You pee down your leg, at a gala, at a fancy hotel, because you're so drunk you can't wait to get up to the room, and you just act like nothing is wrong.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out. We can do this."

Today we have Torey. He took his last drink on October 9, 2017. This is his story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

On today's episode Paul talks about what happens when a loved one quits drinking. First off, relationships are tricky even when not exposed to addiction turmoil.

It is important to remember that both parties need healing. Here is some advice for the problem drinker in the relationship; remember communication is key and ask for help. Here is some advice for the normal drinker in the relationship; first off, you can't change the problem drinker, make sure you protect yourself and your energies, set boundaries.

[13:30] Paul introduces Torey.

Torey is 47 years old and lives in Bainbridge, WA and has 2 kids. He has been married since 2000. For fun Torey like fabricating and has been spending time finishing a lot of projects. He enjoys spending time with his family and going to school functions.

[18:00] Give us a background on your drinking.

Torey grew up in a small Wisconsin town and in high school drank on the weekends because that's what kids did. After high school Torey continued binge drinking during his Coast Guard years. After the Coast Guard Torey went to work in the maritime field and his drinking continued.

Through the mid-nineties to 2010 the daily drinking continued and progressed.

[22:40] What happened when you realized there wasn't another kind of alcohol to switch to, to feel better?

Torey says his drinking was starting to be noticed and talked about. He realized that his kids had probably never seen him without a drink in his hands. When he started to hide his alcohol, he realized he might have a problem. He tried to moderate, which never worked. In 2015 things really ramped up. Torey was depressed, waking up so hungover that he was calling in sick, avoiding things at work, and the connection with his family was dwindling.

[25:40] When you realized you weren't going to be able to make yourself stop did you seek outside sources?

Torey says he knew he couldn't fix things himself and that he needed to start listening to people around him. On October 9, 2017, Torey's wife made an appointment for them to see a counselor that knew about addiction.

[28:20] Talk to us about that day.

Torey says he knew where he could get the outside support, that he knew about AA, but didn't go to a meeting for a couple days. He started listening to podcasts. He read Annie Grace's book, This Naked Mind, and said that's where it all came together for him.

[32:30] When did you reach the moment when you thought, "I might be able to do this."?

Torey says it was around day 14, he was out of town for work and looking for an AA meeting. The feeling that he had something in common with the 8-10 people at the meeting made it all click.

[35:50] What have been some of the challenges you've faced and resources you've implemented along your journey?

Torey said his first hurdle was avoiding people that he worked with that still drank heavily, and when he couldn't avoid them, he had a plan in place. He made sure he had things to do in the evening. He found an AA home group and was going weekly. When he would have a craving, he would follow the drink, knowing that it would never end with just that one drink.

[44:48] How did it feel when you reached the conclusion that alcohol no longer defines you?

Torey says he felt like he could be himself again. He feels like he can be his true self.

[47:35] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

When after having a panic attack he had to be honest with the doctor about how much he drank.

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

Anytime I can go on vacation with the family.

1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

Definitely LaCroix, but I'll drink any sparkling water.

1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

Café RE, this group has been awesome, the AA community where I live, and reading more and more.

1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

Finishing some major yard art I have started.

1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Dig deep. If you are thinking you might have a problem, you probably do. Listen to those around you, ask for guidance and help.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

A friend had given me a bottle of vodka with a bunch of peppercorns in it, and it was the last alcohol in the house and it wasn't going to go down the drain.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out. We can do this."

Today we have Dee. She took her last drink on January 17th, 2019. This is her story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

On today's episode Paul talks about PAWS, or what he refers to as 'healing symptoms. You can find a YouTube video on these healing symptoms, or PAWS, here. This period of experiencing these healing symptoms usually lasts anywhere from 3 – 6 months, but could last a little longer.

You have 2 choices. The 1st choice is to keep drinking. With this choice there will be a painful progression and whatever emotions and physical repercussions you're experiencing now will only be enhanced in time.

The 2nd choice is to quit drinking and embark on the most heroic journey. This choice gives you options, and you don't have to decide today.

[14:50] Paul introduces Dee.

Dee is 50 years old and recently moved to Albuquerque, NM. She works as a purchaser for the Federal Government. For fun Dee enjoys walking, hiking, biking, and meeting up with her fellow sober peeps.

[17:20] Give us a background on your drinking.

Dee was first introduced to alcohol by her parents as a child during the holidays. With high school came beer. Between high school and the age of 21 Dee really didn't do much drinking. 21 years old rolls around and Dee got really good at drinking and socializing. Alcohol seemed to fix her feelings of not being enough. Always a tomboy Dee felt the guys didn't really take an interest in her so the alcohol helped her become more flirtatious.

At the age of 25 Dee became, what she called, a pro at drinking. Dee's dad got sick and passed, this prompted her to switch from drinking beer to hard liquor, thinking this would stop her from becoming an alcoholic. A month later Dee's husband died. Dee says she dove into the booze at this time and continued to drink heavily for years.

[23:15] Do you feel that you properly grieved?

Dee says she did not, that she didn't know how to properly grieve. Alcohol helped her get through this time in her life, when she was in so much pain she didn't want to live. It allowed her to sleep and it allowed her to manage getting up every day.

[25:25] What role did alcohol play in your 30s and 40s?

Dee was living in Florida and back to drinking "normal". At 33 Dee moved to Atlanta and decided she needed to quit drinking, so she did. She quit for 7 months. She started going to AA, and although she didn't feel it was for her she continued to go because that is what she knew to do at the time.

After an offer of some free Dom Pérignon, Dee began drinking again. Fast forward to when Dee first joined Café RE. This was when her drinking really started to escalate, in 2018. Dee was in an unhappy marriage and although she didn't want to drink, she couldn't stop. Dee first joined Café RE in June 2018 and then thought she had her drinking under control and could moderate. She quit RE and drank for another 4 months before rejoining in January 2019.

[31:50] Was there an emotional rock bottom?

Dee says she fought with God, her higher power, over this for 25+ years. She says it was exhausting having one foot in church and one foot doing the drinking thing. So, Dee made the decision to face life without the alcohol.

[38:15] You're entering the scary and uncomfortable area in life, called the unknown, how is this going?

Dee says it is going well and she is not afraid.

[39:40] Has there been cravings?

Having the mindset that drinking is not an option has helped Dee. Dee has a lot of options to reach out to people when she needs to, and she uses them. Connection and community are key. Dee is slowly building connections locally, in a healthy way.

[41:50] What is something that you learned at the RE Bozeman Retreat that you can implement in your journey?

Dee says the meditation and the breathwork were the two big things for her, they have helped her slow down and stay in the present.

[45:00] What are your thoughts on relapse?

Dee says she hates that word. That is breaks her heart when she sees people posting that they have relapsed, and not because she thinks less of them, but because she knows how hard it is to pick yourself back up and stack days.

[47:15] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

You can do it.

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

Nashville and Bozeman.

1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

Waterloo Sparkling Water, Mango flavored.

1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

Well, the number one is Café RE.

1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

Writing a book.

1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Believe in yourself.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

You are in Ireland, flying solo, and you walk into a bar in Dublin, and there's all guys. One of the guys proposes to you, puts his ring on your finger, you go to the restroom and the ring falls off in the toilet, you have to fish it out, and you have to break up with him.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out. We can do this."

Today we have Lauren. She took her last drink on November 17, 2018. This is her story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

On today's episode Paul talks about the 'how', and says not to worry about the how you are going to quit drinking. Once you know the 'why' you want to quit drinking the how always solves itself.

If you need help coming up with the why, most likely you have an encyclopedia of evidence behind you. It could be the intense emotional dips, depression, anxiety, letting yourself or those you love down. Put that why to work in your favor.

[13:30] Paul introduces Lauren.

Lauren is 38 years old. She lives in Sharon, Mass, and is adjunct faculty at a university in Boston in their School of Social Work. Lauren is married and has 3 children. For fun Lauren enjoys spending time outside, listening to LIVE music and hanging out with friends.

[15:47] Give us a background on your drinking.

Lauren says alcohol set up shop in her life while she was attending the University of Mass. In 2007 while she was finishing up her Masters in Social Work, she came across a binge drinking scale and realized that she had surpassed all female scales and was binge drinking like a man. This was the first time the Lauren felt, in her gut, that something might be wrong.

Instead of listening to this bodily cue Lauren pushed it away and ignored it.

In 2009 Lauren met her wife and saw a life she wanted and made some changes in terms of her drinking.

[19:00] Talk to me about those changes that you made?

Lauren says she just naturally toned it down a little bit. Her partner had children so they started doing more family things. In 2011 they were married. Lauren says that, at this time, her drinking was progressing and taking up more and more space in her life.

In 2013 there was a hard stoop in Lauren's drinking, during her pregnancy, and she gave birth to their daughter. Even though there was this break in her drinking things picked up right where she left off.

[20:25] What happens next?

Lauren is a stay at home mom and her drinking escalates. She wasn't isolating, she joined a mom's group, and really didn't think she had a drinking problem because she wasn't drinking during the day. Lauren says that she started using drinking as a reward. She was blacking out more frequently, her relationships started suffering and Lauren says that, clearly, her addiction had the upper hand.

[21:40] When did you start to realize there was a problem?

November 20, 2018, they got a phone call, one that you never hope to receive. Lauren's stepson exited his car on a busy roadway and was struck by an oncoming vehicle. They soon learned that his injuries were far too significant for treatment and had to prepare to say goodbye. All the emotions and feelings she had been dousing in alcohol over the years came to the surface.

[23:40] What happened on November 20th?

Lauren says she somehow allowed all those emotions in fully and was unexplainably present in that hospital room. As the hours passed, she began to notice that along with all the pain and sadness in that hospital room there was something beautiful happening. Lauren says she felt gratitude, and felt it in every fiber of her body.

[30:50] What happened after that first AA meeting?

Lauren say she stuck it out with AA and is still working the steps and feels that there is great value to the steps.

[31:30] What was life like after that?

Lauren says the first weeks were really hard, but that all her relationships improved.

[37:38] Talk to us about your experience with the breathwork session we had at the RE Bozeman Retreat.

Lauren says she is glad she didn't know anything about breathwork prior to the session so she just followed directions and was breathing like they said to. Lauren experienced her stepson, Michael, visiting and talking to her during the session.

[48:00] What's on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

Travel and showing our daughter the world.

[49:00] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

That it's not about alcohol anymore.

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

The fact that I have memories. Everyday with my family is memorable.

1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

Pamplemousse LaCroix

1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

Podcasts…Recovery Elevator, Recovery Happy Hour, and I do a lot of reading on The Temper.

1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

You're worth it. You can do it.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

You add Tito's to your spiked seltzer.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out. We can do this."

Today we have Patrick. He took his last drink on January 1, 2019. This is his story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

On today's episode Paul talks about sharing and owning our story. This can be therapeutic, but also, if done too many times, dangerous. Why? Your story becomes your future. How do we stop this? We learn to protect us from our thoughts. When you take your energies and thoughts off your past addictions and traumas they can disappear. One way to do this is through meditation.

[11:15] Paul introduces Patrick.

Patrick was born and raised in Boston. He is a high school teacher and teaches religion and history. He is married and has a 6-year-old daughter. For fun Patrick likes long distance hiking, car camping and road trips.

[14:20] Give us a background on your drinking.

Patrick says he accepted that he was an alcoholic at the age of 18 when he entered the seminary. He got a fake ID at the age of 16 and was going into liquor stores at 16 and buying his own liquor. At the age of 18 Patrick started going to AA meetings. Patrick started drinking again, about the age of 29, and only beer.

The next couple of years the beer became scotch, then vodka. After about 2 weeks of consuming vodka for 2 weeks Patrick contemplated suicide. When his baby was only 2 weeks old Patrick went to the hospital. He is 45 years old. He is checked into the hospital for 9 days to detox. A year later…picking up his 1-year chip at an AA meeting, he had already had a couple drinks before the meeting.

[19:35] What happened next?

Patrick and his wife decided they were going to have a baby. Wasn't what he planned…but he started hitting the bottle hard. He started hiding bottles all over. Patrick wrapped bottles in his hospital bag to get through the birth of his child.

[33:50] What was different this time?

Patrick says he reached a turning point, he could stay on the couch drinking scotch and vodka and have his wife leave him, or live the life he knew he wanted.

[39:45] How'd you do it??

Like a bird…worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Be fully present in every moment.

[43:50] What are some of the lessons you have learned about yourself along the way?

Patrick says he is discovering who he's always been.

[45:30] Were there cravings?

Patrick says he has had cravings in the past but not the past 9 months.

[47:05] How has your life changed without alcohol?

Patrick says he is fully present with his wife and with his daughter…and fully present with himself.

[47:50] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

Honesty. I lied mostly to myself, and then when I stopped it got better.

1. What is a gift that sobriety has given you?

Camping on the river with my daughter.

1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

Polar Mango Cherry Bliss.

1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

Podcasts…Recovery Elevator, This Naked Mind, Recovery Revolution, I go to AA and volunteer at a detox center.

1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

A cross country trip with my 6-year-old.

1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Brutal honesty with self.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

You shoot vodka nips on your way to your 1-year AA anniversary.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out. We can do this."

Today we have Jody. She took her last drink on October 20, 2015. This is her story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

On today's episode Paul shares with the listeners the many (12) steps, and team members, it takes to put a podcast episode together. And listeners…you are part of the team!

Paul also covers an article he came across that talks about the relationship between alcohol and antisocial behavior is well documented. You can find a link to the article here.

The question is, can we blame our bad behavior on the alcohol? The study in this article says no. Alcohol, according to the study, does not change your personality. Drunken you has the same moral compass as sober you.

[10:20] Paul introduces Jody.

Jody is 30 years old and lives in Orlando, Florida. She is a flight attendant and a mindset and transformation coach. Jody is not married and does not have any kids, yet. She loves to travel, read, cook, and do yoga.

[13:25] Give us a background on your drinking.

Jody was introduced to alcohol her freshman year of college. She found that alcohol helped her social anxiety. After graduating from college, she thought she would leave the binge drinking behind. That didn't happen. She continued to drink and smoke and have blackouts, and this frustrated Jody.

[17:15] Can you dive deeper into your frustration?

She moved back home and that addiction followed her. It helped her find people that made her feel normal. Once she decided she wanted to become a flight attendant she knew she would have to stop smoking because they drug test you. So, she did, and she got the job. During this time Jody started drinking more and drinking alone.

[22:40] Get us up to speed, did you try to moderate, was there a rock bottom moment?

When she started drinking alone, she tried to make rules and moderate, always breaking the rules. The voice inside got really loud and she started to believe that the world would be a better place without her. She felt her problem was too big. This is when she started to listen to the Recovery Elevator podcast. She got a new therapist and at the age of 27 she identified herself as an alcoholic, a word she does not use anymore.

[24:30] Tell me your thinking on not using the word alcoholic anymore?

Jody feels very passionate about this…this feels it's a very dangerous and harmful term to use.

[27:40] Bring us up to October 20, 2015.

Jody says she was just sick and tired or being sick and tired.

[28:20] What happened after that?

Jody says she's pretty much did it on her own. She took it one day at a time. Jody structured her days and it helped her stay sober and grounded.

[29:15] In the first couple months did you experience cravings, and how'd you get past them?

Jody says she made a really firm decision that she didn't want to drink and she didn't experience cravings.

[30:20] Share with us your biggest life lessons during the last 4 years.

Jody's first year was dedicated to loving herself. Year 2, 3, & 4 was all about mindset. She changed the way she viewed what had happened and how alcohol was viewed in out society. This ultimately made her leave AA.

[33:40] Tell us about being a Mindset and Transformation Coach.

About a year ago Jody decided she wanted to do something to help others that want to be alcohol free. There is nothing to be ashamed of.

[38:25] You are loud and proud on social media, what has been the response?

Jody says her posts are never about her, they are about the people that need to hear it. About sharing her story for those that need to hear that message.

[43:30] Where can people get in contact with you?

You can find Jody on Instagram here.

[44:00] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

Realizing I am not my addiction, I am not what I have experienced.

1. What is a gift that sobriety has given you?

Being fully present at all times.

1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

Recently I had a spicy AF jalapeno margherita.

1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

Annie Grace's This Naked Mind, Alan Carr's The Easy Way to Quit Drinking for Women, this podcast, and anyone that is loud and proud on Instagram.

1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

I want to help as many people as I can through coaching.

1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Be open, and committed. Stay curious.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

If you use the layering technique in your recycling bin.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Connect with Jody via Instagram @jodyventura

You Can't Blame Alcohol for Acting Like an A-hole Anymore, Say Scientists

https://www.inverse.com/article/58809-alcohol-study-does-it-change-your-personality

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out. We can do this."

Today we have Wendall. He took his last drink on June 13, 2019. This is his story.

On today's episode Paul talks about the 5 responses you get when you tell people you don't drink. He also discusses what you do when you accidently post on social media that you no longer drink.

The 5 responses:

70% of the time you hear total support, "Wow that's so cool, because I want you to be the best version of you."

20% of the time the response will be that the person you told has a family member or close friend that has also quit drinking alcohol.

5% of the time you will get bombarded with questions as to why you don't drink.

4% of the time they will be supportive but will no longer be a part of your life, drinking was the reason they were.

1% of the time they will not be supportive of your decision to ditch the booze.

[22:30] Paul introduces Wendall.

Wendall lives in Toronto Ontario, Canada. He is 42 years old and is a director, producer, and cinematographer of documentaries. Wendall is married and has a 6-year-old son. For fun Wendall enjoys getting out in nature.

[23:35] Give us a background on your drinking.

Wendall says he didn't really start drinking until he was in university, about 1996. Up until his late 30's he was mostly a social drinker. Things shifted then. He was working a lot, traveling a lot, was stressed. Drinking became habitual at this time; it was both a reward and a stress reliever. With added responsibilities, came anxiety. Drinking then became a coping mechanism. In 2018 Wendall realized that all the rules of moderation he had tried to put in place weren't working.

About 6 months ago binge drinking really started to rear its ugly head. He finally decided he couldn't drink anymore.

[34:00] How did it feel after you set the bottle down?

It felt like every new beginning comes from some others beginnings end.

[35:25] What was it like living life without alcohol the first few days and weeks?

Because his drinking was habitual Wendall realized he would have to create new habits. He started listening to recovery podcasts. His first 30 days was done pretty much in solitude. Instead of having his normal evening drinks he would listen to a podcast and read a few chapters.

[39:20] How long did it take for the new habits to take hold?

Wendall says it only took about 14 days because he wanted it so badly.

[43:00] Have you told your film crew or others in your industry?

Wendall has told his film crew as the situation came up, he simply tells them he just doesn't drink.

[48:24] This project, Sober House, showed up on your plate when you were also exploring a life without alcohol?

Wendall says it showed up in and around the time he was having some internal conflict with his drinking. Listening to the kids in this film talk about how much alcohol has impacted their lives was like the hammer hitting the nail square on the head.

[51:52] How can the listeners find out more information about this project?

They can go to www.soberhouse.ca , they can follow us on Instagram and Twitter at soberhousefilm.

[53:27] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

Moments with my son are way better without a hangover.

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

While filming in the Yukon and coming out of the tent in the morning, mist rising off the lake, the sun streaming down and the mountain revealing itself.

1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

Does ice cream count?

1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

I really dialed back into my love of reading. The Recovery Elevator podcast, I binged that pretty hard the first 30 days, same with Recovery Happy Hour.

1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

To really have great experiences with my family.

1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

I have 2, the first one is to listen to your body. The second one is listen to your body.

1. You might need to ditch the booze if...

If you know where every liquor store is in every major airport in your country.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sober House film

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oERDuy1WxgU&t=72s

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out. We can do this."

Today we have Jay. He took his last drink on Decemeber 26th, 2018. This is his story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

On today's episode Paul talks about a response to a post on Reddit. Not knowing exactly what the initial post said, Paul guesses it was something about the poster wanting to ditch the booze, but not being able to.

The response…" You know what, you're heading in the right direction to win. You want to stop. You literally cannot win without that. I've lost friends to booze and none of them wanted to stop. Wanting to stop provides friction. It adds resistance to drinking, which has the effect of reducing your intake. Maybe you start an hour later in the day. Maybe you drink one glass less. That helps. It makes it easier to apply more friction in the future."

The intention to stop is the most important thing.

[9:44] Paul introduces Jay.

Jay is 37 years old and grew up in upstate New York. He has lived in North Carolina for the last 9 years. He has a full-time sales job and a full time real-estate side hustle. He enjoys mountain biking and golf. He is married.

[11:05] Give us a background on your drinking.

In high school Jay had fun after the Friday night football games. In college Jay partied on Friday and Saturday nights. He was a weekend warrior during his twenties. He relocated in 2010 and started experiencing problems that he couldn't solve. This is when alcohol really made it's appearance.

[14:40] Do you feel your sports background backfired when it came to quitting drinking?

Yes. Jay says he ran into a set of problems that he could not out hustle, could not out grind.

[15:30] Early thirties and anxiety is creeping up, take it from there.

Rather than talking about it with the people he loved he internalized it. 2016-2018 Jay says he was a pressure cooker. He was never saying no, never setting boundaries.

[17:50] Did you ever try to moderate?

Around 2016 Jay recognized that alcohol was getting out of control. He would go 30-40 days AF a few times a year. After trying to fight a stranger at a party Jay knew the gig was up. He later had a conversation with his best friend and told him that he thought he had a drinking problem. Jay says that in that moment he felt a weight off his shoulders.

[27:24] What did you find when you went internal?

Jay learned that he's a people pleaser, that he didn't know what boundaries were, and having his emotional bids minimized really hurt.

[32:20] How'd you do it?

Jay says ever since the moment he told his friend that he has a drinking problem he has not experienced cravings. He has not attended AA, and does not like the term 'alcoholic'.

[33:35] What's been the hardest thing you've gone through in sobriety?

Jay says he's gone through some events where there has been a lot of drinking and when people asked him why he wasn't drinking his reply was, "I have goals so big that I and to give up some things."

[37:15] What advice can you give to guys out there about emotions?

There is no courage without vulnerability.

[41:05] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

Finally digging down to what was causing the sadness and now having an awareness of that.

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

Those moments where this incredible peace overcomes you.

1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

I drink coffee and water.

1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

Writing in my journal every morning has been a tremendous help.

1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

Fly to California and drive the Pacific Coast Highway from end to end.

1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Have the courage to be honest with yourself and with the people closest to you.

1. You might need to ditch the booze if...

If you self-impose a rule of only two 24 oz. Twisted Teas and then switch to Miller Lights because you're worried about cavities.

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out. We can do this."

Today we have Gracie. She took her last drink on September 29, 2018. This is her story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

On today's episode Paul talks about connection. Human connection is an innate need to create a social bond with others.

For those that found a temporary connection with alcohol and are now trying to ditch the booze now find them facing disconnection head on. You are listening to the inner voice that isn't craving alcohol, but is craving connection.

How to connect…ask for connection every single morning. Aim for 50% to be external connections, and the other 50% internal. If a connection is built within, we can go through difficult times in life and still feel that warmth. If you address the internal connection the external connection solves itself.

SHOW NOTES

[14:25] Paul introduces Gracie.

Gracie grew up in the Midwest and is currently living in Chicago. She is 32 years old and is a nurse. Gracie loves camping, backpacking, traveling abroad doing medical trips, and has recently gotten into rock and minerals. She lives with her boyfriend, who is 4 years sober.

[22:55] Give us a background on your drinking.

Gracie didn't start drinking until she was 19 years old and off at college. Her drinking didn't get bad until age 21/22 when she was in the Peace Corp and was partying hard with the other volunteers. In her mid-twenties she was binge drinking on the weekends and coming home and drinking by herself. She was experiencing a lot of loneliness and anxiety at the time, so would drink. By Gracie's late 20s she was drinking most nights and having blackouts.

Gracie says she had a lot of 'soft bottoms' and it wasn't until she was about 28 years old that it occurred to her that she needed to stop drinking. It was at this time that Gracie was starting to read self-help books and was interested in spiritual growth. As she started getting into medication retreats and plant medicine, she says she kept getting the message, from her heart, that her drinking was holding her back.

[37:45] How did it feel when you started to feel your feelings?

Gracie says she was afraid in the beginning, that she was even afraid to feel a feeling coming on. She says meditation helped her let the feelings come and pass. Gracie says it took months for her to learn to trust that a feeling wouldn't swallow her whole.

[41:45] Was there a rock bottom before you quit drinking?

Gracie says there was a lot of heartbreaking moments. She was functioning but her relationships were suffering. She says there was this constant low-grade feeling of disfunction.

[44:50] Share with us how you did it.

Podcasts and books were a big part of her getting sober. For maintenance she uses her sobriety tracker on her phone. She is running a lot and taking her health more seriously.

[46:55] Do you have an in-person community that you meet up with?

Gracie says she does not, but that she thinks that may be what is next. Meetings have never been part of her journey but she says that may be her next step.

[48:12] What was the response when you posted on social media?

Gracie says the response was so supportive and it proved to be a very good thing for her.

[50:25] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

I guess when I first heard, "stop obsessing about the word alcoholic and just look at what drinking is doing in your life.".

1. What is a gift sobriety has given you?

So much energy.

1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

I love gingerale and I love this Jamaican drink called Ting.

1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

I'm starting some trainings and certifications to become a flight nurse.

1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Feel your feelings and love yourself. Make sobriety the most important thing in your life.

1. You might have a drinking problem if...

You are an avid camper and want to achieve the perfect amount of hydration with drunkenness so you mix vodka with flavored Smart Water and just end up making a total ass of yourself.

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – We took the elevator down; we have to take the stairs back up.

We can do this."

Today we have Patty. She took her last drink on July 19, 2017. This is her story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

On today's episode Paul talks about the two main sources of unhappiness and how hope is sending us barreling off a cliff. On the surface hope is great. But where is it located on a timeline? In the future, not in the now.

If hope isn't serving us, then what? Throttle back on the hope and lean into 'this moment'.

SHOW NOTES

[12:00] Paul introduces Patty.

Patty is 665 years old and is originally from Fairbanks, AK. She currently lives in Corvallis, OR. Patty has 3 children in their forties and 7 grandkids. She worked at a university for 30 years and is now retired. For fun Patty likes to hike, kayak, and sailing.

[13:55] Give us a background on your drinking.

Patty says she was 14 years od the first time she got drunk, and that she was a black-out drinker her very first time. It wasn't until she was in her 30's that she felt she may have a problem; it was then she started to drink at home alone.

When Patty was in her forties, she started to attempt to give up alcohol. She would go a couple days up to 11 months, and that went on for about 15 years.

[18:15] Was there a moment that it got scary for you?

In early 2017 she drove home drunk from the airport and realized the next morning how dangerous that was. She says it scared her, that she could have killed someone, or herself.

[20:50] How did you do it those first couple weeks?

Patty said she had a different mindset this time. This time her mindset was one of, 'I don't have to do this (drink) anymore', rather than, 'I can't do this anymore.'

[26:00] What are some improvements in life that you have experienced in a life without alcohol?

Patty says she used to make a lot of plans and then not follow through with them, she doesn't do that anymore. She has signed up to get her pilot's license, something that she has always wanted to do. Going to the RE Bozeman retreat. She has been a lot more physically active, instead of talking about walking the dog, she just gets up and goes.

[30:25] What is something that you've had to go through in the last 2 years that you didn't expect?

Patty's mom died 3 months ago and drinking didn't even seem like an option. It was a real tough time, losing her mom and with family drama, but she was able to be present and she didn't have conversations that she regretted later.

[37:20] What's the biggest thing you've learned about yourself in these last 2 years?

Patty says it's that she in genuinely a happy person.

[38:00] Was there a rock-bottom moment?

The drive home from the Eugene airport. Also, on July 19 drinking with her daughter, who herself was struggling with alcohol, and her 16-year-old granddaughter.

[43:00] Rapid Fire Round

1. What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

That I don't have to drink.

1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you?

Waking up early, I have just started taking a morning Pilates class.

1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

LaCroix, hands down.

1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

I hope to live in Panama half of the year, and I'm working on that.

1. What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?

Definitely Café RE, and I'm a reader so I have every self-help book probably written since 1972.

1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Think it all the way through, and remember you just don't have to drink.

1. You might have a drinking problem if...

You consider dropping $100 at every airport bar as just part of your traveling expense.

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"Recovery Elevator – We can do this."