Recovery Elevator

Today we have Chris, with 96 days since his last drink.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. In sobriety, it's possible to become more in tune with the inner workings of our minds. By stopping the intake of a numbing substance, our minds and bodies become more sensitive, and with that sensitivity comes a glimpse into the processes and systems that run under the hood. Our emotions and how we handle them (or, in early sobriety, often we will see how our emotions are handling us!), the physical sensations that return as our body heals, and how our subconscious mind has an impact on our every waking moment. In practices like meditation, we can begin to see how our thoughts can interrupt our every waking moment. As we examine further, we can see that thoughts have a big impact on how we see ourselves, the world and, ultimately thoughts can make up who we are. To learn to manage your thoughts, follow Paul's first steps: - Trust that your body knows best. - Your mind is a secondary organ to your body. You may think you are in control, but the mind is a tool that works for the body, not the other way around. - Learn to quiet the mind. - In the early stages of recovery, especially, it's important to recalibrate your sense of stillness. Chances are in the throws of addiction you have lost your center. - Don't get hooked – When you become aware of a thought entering your mind, simply notice it for what it is and let it float by. You can use a safe word to remind you to come back to the present moment. "Here", "Stop", "Thoughts.."

SHOW NOTES

[12:48] Paul Introduces Chris.

Chris is 37 years old, lives in Arizona. Chris is married with two kids, has two dogs, is a musician and likes to ride his motorcycle.

[14:33] When did you first realize that you had a problem with drinking? Why did you decide to quit? He realized that alcohol had a hold on him. He couldn't stop. It was affecting everything. He felt like the party was over. He went to get beer after his kids were asleep. Suddenly he realized that if he had gotten a DUI, no one would be able to take care of his kids. He asked a friend in recovery to help him get cleaned up. He started going to AA. He would get 30 days and then relapse. He worked at a bar and was drinking non stop. It started to take a toll on his body.

[18:56] When did your attempts to quit begin to get some traction? He would try to moderate. He switched to wine. They moved to Arizona, and he wanted to use the chance to get clean. He found himself isolated and depressed, and anxious. He used his exercise to earn his drinks. He kept repeating the cycle.

[21:23] What are your thoughts on the "geographical cure"? He thought he was going to start over in a new place, and leave the negativity behind. He started working quickly after the move. Anxiety started to set in, he felt uncomfortable being alone and bored. He turned to alcohol. Alcohol was the ice breaker in social situations.

[22:47] What would you consider to be your rock bottom moment? He feels that he had many. Every time he would wake up feeling ashamed was a rock bottom moment. He felt that he couldn't escape alcohol's grip and he was scared. He wanted to quit but felt that he couldn't. The night would start with one beer and end after multiple.

[24:30] What changed this last time to ensure your success so far? He had researched a medicine called kambo. He had read that it would help him quit alcohol. He found someone in his local area and he signed up to try it. The scrape the venom off a frog from the amazon. The practitioner lights the tip of the incense stick, then marks your arm, then applies the venom to your arm. He didn't hallucinate, but had intense bodily sensations. It's a giant purge. He puked like crazy and felt a sharp pain. He found a blockage, and puked it out. He did another purge that evening and hasn't craved alcohol since.

[31:39] Have you noticed any other improvements in other areas of your life? He's less stressed. He tries to block negative energy. He lets things roll off and relaxes.

[33:19] Did you try any other resources to quit? He tried AA. He didn't click with his local group. He liked the online group better. The plant medicine was sort of a last resort for him. He thinks it was a reflection of the amount of desperation he had at the time.

[36:00] What's your proudest moment in recovery? He was around 50 days in sobriety. He took his son to a Metallica concert without drinking. [36:45] What's on your bucket list in sobriety? Continuing down the path. He wants to be of help to anyone trying to get sober. He is into the plant medicine world.

[39:20] Rapid Fire Round

1. What was your worst memory from drinking? A huge fight with his wife. He threw glasses at the wall.
2. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment?
3. What's your plan moving forward? Continuing down the path. Staying active in the online group.
4. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Cafe RE Blue. Talking with more people.
5. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? It's easier to stay sober than to get sober. Don't take yourself too seriously.
6. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Just do it. Go for it. Take your time, get comfortable. Find the path for you.
7. You might be an alcoholic if... "If you have to put venomous frog poison in your skin to get sober.."

Resources:

You Are the Placebo – A book by Dr. Joe Dispenza

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Today we have Jodi, with over 100 days since her last drink.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. You'd think that when dealing with something as simple and common as water, there couldn't be any confusion. Water is water, right? It turns out that not all waters are created equal.

Water comes in many forms and despite what you might think, the differences aren't just regional nomenclature. There are distinct differences between these types of water, and while they are somewhat slight, they're enough to merit their own name. Here's what you need to know:

Mineral Water

Sparkling mineral water comes from a natural spring which contains various minerals, like salts and sulfur compounds. It's defined by its "constant level and relative proportions of mineral and trace elements at the point of emergence from the source." Minerals aren't added to this water and neither is carbonation (with the exception of San Pellegrino, which has additional carbonation added by the bottler). That means that the bubbles in these bottles are completely natural. You would typically drink this water as is (not mixed in a cocktail), since it's a tad expensive and has a slight mineral-y taste.

Seltzer Water

Seltzer water is just plain water that has been artificially carbonated. This water, which contains no sodium salts, gets its name from the German town of Selters, which was renowned for its natural springs. Seltzer water was first introduced as a cheap alternative to sparkling mineral water -- and it still is an economical option today.

Club Soda

Seltzer water and club soda are very similar, but there is a notable difference between the two. Unlike seltzer, mineral-like ingredients are added to club soda to enhance the flavor. If you look on the list of ingredients, you'll likely see potassium bicarbonate and potassium sulfate listed.

Tonic Water Just because it contains the word water in its name and is carbonated doesn't mean that tonic water is in the same category as bubbly waters. Unlike the other carbonated options, tonic water has a distinct flavor and it certainly can't be swapped out for carbonated water. Tonic water is a bitter drink, a result of the addition of quinine, which pairs particularly well with gin. Also unlike the other waters, Tonic contains calories -- about 130 for 12 fluid ounces.

SHOW NOTES

[9:05] Paul Introduces Jodi.

Jodi is 34-year-old artist and musician living in Detroit, Michigan, with her dog. She has a podcast called "Detroit Craft Academy". She went to art school for photography originally.

[12:20] How has sobriety affected your personal relationship with your art? It's been a little difficult. She had a romanticized definition of what an artist was in her mind that involved drinking. She feels it was learned. She no longer buys into it. She's realizing that her art is now better with a sober mind.

[14:25] When did you first realize you had a problem with drinking, and how did you quit? She grew up straight edge. She started drinking with a guy she met. She enjoyed alcohol after she tried it. She feels that she's always had an addictive personality, which worsened after she started drinking. She was always at the bar before and after class during school. She began hanging out with musicians. She began to black out, and felt that she was time traveling. She would have to investigate to find out the events from the previous night. She had a stint of sobriety for two years as her boyfriend turned out to be an addict. She started again at 22 and hid it from her partner. She tried to go to AA.

[20:25] Did you experience a rock bottom? She had many. She didn't consider them rock bottoms because she wasn't ready to address the fact that she had a drinking problem, and she also thought that it was typical artist behavior. She associates her addiction with "Large Marge" from Peewee Herman.

[22:29] What was different about this particular attempt to quit that's been successful so far? Before quitting she had been dealing with depression and a relationship with an addict. She experienced some trauma. She started seeing a counselor. The counselor didn't know that she had a drinking problem. Alcoholism runs in her family. Alcohol dulled the emotions she didn't want to feel and enhanced the positive ones, but the depression didn't go away. She tried many things to get rid of it but they didn't work. She tried to quit drinking for a month and felt amazing. This time something different happened. She recently tried a sensory deprivation chamber. She heard a voice tell her to quit drinking. She feels her consciousness shifted. She calls it the voice of silence. She told everyone she knew that she quit drinking, creating accountability. Everyone has been supportive. She started changing her group of friends. She started going to AA. It's been great. Every meeting has been different.

[38:44] What have you learned about yourself in sobriety so far? With her shift in consciousness, she is trying to be open minded. She's learning how to break down her strict boundaries. We are bigger than the boxes in which we put ourselves. She's open to not pleasing everyone.

[40:25] How is your depression now that alcohol is removed from your life? She still suffers from depression, but she changes how she responds to it. Before she would turn to drinking, and now she tries to face it. She's finding different ways to deal with it. She goes for walks, calls her sponsor, focuses on art. She's considering medication.

[42:42] Rapid Fire Round

1. What was your worst memory from drinking? All the holes in her memory. Playing detective to figure out what happened the night before.
2. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? She realized that her only desire to go out was because she wanted to drink, and she had to drink to have a desire to go out.
3. What's your plan moving forward? One day at a time. She journals a lot.
4. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Cafe RE, honestly.

1. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Don't beat yourself up if you fail. You won't see the successes if you concentrate on the failures.
2. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Tell everyone. Tell the bartender to punch you if you order alcohol.
3. You might be an alcoholic if... "you lose your car, and then go to the police to help you find your car, and drop you off, and you think it might be a trap."

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Today we have Craig, who has been sober since 9/21/16.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

The unprecedented success of this podcast mirrors a simple approach to recovery. Just show up and continue to show up.

SHOW NOTES

[14:00] Paul Introduces Craig. Craig is 40 years old, from central Scotland. He's married and a father of two. He works in flooring and is a part time Taekwondo instructor.

[16:53] When did you realize you first had a problem with drinking? He started when he was about 14. His family moved a lot. Alcohol was a big presence. His first binge was extreme and he had to go to the medical center. He started to drink a case per night. Eventually whiskey entered the picture. He became more isolated. He couldn't relax without alcohol. He would drink with colleagues after work and it progressed into something very difficult to control.

[23:07] How did you achieve your 9 weeks during your first attempt at sobriety? He ended up in the hospital after a suspected heart attack. After some liver tests the doctor gave him a pep talk. His first attempt was sheer will power.

[24:48] What led to the following relapse? He wanted to celebrate his 9 weeks by drinking. After he did not really try to self moderate. Eventually after a binge on a trip to Mexico he woke up with a painful hangover and decided that he couldn't do it any more. He sought out recovery sources online and discovered the podcast. It resonated with him. He realized he wasn't alone.

[27:47] Once you made the conscious choice, how did you stop? His realized he was a bad example for his son.

[29:40] What were some of the other recovery resources you found? Recovery Elevator, also Omar and Shane Ramer, the Sober Guy podcast, and the Share Podcast, the Good Dad project and Sean Croxton's Quote of the Day.

[30:30] Walk us through the early stages of your recovery. He had two difficult episodes with Post-Acute Withdrawal Symptom (PAWS). Fatigue, mood swings, depression, anxiety, loss of concentration. The first one was about six weeks sober. He went to his doctor and said he wasn't feeling well. The doctor suggested AA. He realized there is life after drinking.

[35:39] When did you begin implementing what you learned into your recovery? He started listening to motivational podcasts in addition to recovery podcasts. He started to see things in a different light. He joined different online communities and enjoyed being able to bounce different ideas off people in the forums. He examined his internal dialogues and focused on self love.

[40:36] What advice do you have for someone who is on day 1 right now? Day 1 is where the adventure starts! Let's look at how we can get you to day 2 and beyond. 1 day at a time. Break it down into pieces. Get through the cravings. The numbers don't matter, you're already worth it. Beating yourself up doesn't work. Nobody's recovery is exactly the same. [44:43] Is there anything you would have done differently in your recovery? No. He feels that he had to go through what he went through to get to where he is. He is grateful for the doctor's presence in his life. He doesn't regret drinking either, but he's glad he stopped. [46:16] What have you learned about yourself in recovery? First all, I'm good enough. Secondly, I deserve this recovery and all its benefits. Everyone deserves it. [46:56] What's on your bucket list in sobriety? He's got more of a "fuck it" list. If he wants to do something he's going to do it. He's going to keep living and spending as much time as he can with family.

[49:40] Rapid Fire Round

1. What was your worst memory from drinking? Not remembering three days from being 14 years old after a binge.
2. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Before his trip to Mexico, he drank heavily and woke up fearing death. He realized that he needed help.
3. What's your plan moving forward? Let's get 644 days in the bag and he'll deal with 645 days tomorrow.
4. What's your favorite resource in recovery?
5. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? From Hank at Hope Rehab, "Take the cotton out of your ears and stick it in your mouth."
6. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Don't try and do it alone. You need the community. You need accountability with the right people, the ones that can actually help you.
7. You might be an alcoholic if... "you drank so much that the next day you start going into DT's at 3pm the next afternoon."

Resources:

Recovery 2.0 – A book by Tommy Rosen The SHAIR podcast – a recovery podcast That Sober Guy podcast – a recovery podcast

The Good Dad Project - podcast

Sean Croxton's Quote of the Day - podcast

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Today we have Kelsey, with 94 days since her last drink.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Problems are a part of life. When one problem is resolved and filed neatly away a new one arrives to take its place. At times, our problems in life may seem overwhelming. When the pressure is on and things get difficult, often our response is avoidance or escape. In sobriety we learn to neither rely on fight nor flight when things get tough. Instead, we consciously engage in the life long practice of facing our fears. We have a choice. With courage, acceptance and humility we can find the strength to deal with our problems.

SHOW NOTES

[8:10] Paul Introduces Kelsey. Kelsey is 26 years old, from Utah. She lives in Phoenix, Arizona, with her boyfriend and two dogs. She manages a coffee shop and runs a business producing handmade clothing. She likes the outdoors and sports. Sewing has been therapeutic for her since she quit drinking.

[10:56] What was your drinking background, and when did you first realize you wanted to quit? High school. She used to be scared of drinking. She used to have an eating disorder after a move to Arizona. Her drinking slowly progressed. She got a DUI in Arizona and served some time. She continued to drink after. It escalated. Her hangovers turned into withdrawal. She did outpatient therapy. She tried to get sober multiple times. Never really tried AA.

[16:22] Did you experience one addiction morphing into a second? Yes. She went to therapy for the eating disorder and didn't really recover fully. Alcohol helped her feel better. It was a slippery slope.

[17:30] What were your previous attempts to quit drinking? She tried cold turkey. It didn't work. She was searching for programs because she didn't like the higher power aspect of AA. She found "Moderation Management". She didn't feel accountable. It's an online forum with a workbook. The rules never worked for her.

[21:40] Why do you think you were drinking for a week straight? She was tired. Initially it was fun, but it became frequent blackouts and very negative. She is a busy person and it was difficult for her to sober up. Her brain was forcing her to use alcohol to relax.

[23:20] Did you experience a rock bottom moment? She started at her boyfriend's show, and ended up drinking for a week straight. Her mother tried to help her. She had work obligations and the drinking got in the way. She tried to hide it from her mother. She's grateful that she didn't get into any accidents.

[24:42] Was there more than just being sick and tired? She realized that she had other aspirations and she wouldn't be able to achieve them without removing alcohol from her life. She realized that the path of drinking would ultimately lead to her death. She chose life and happiness.

[26:37] How did you implement the choice into your life? She feels like she's grown up a bit. She didn't struggle with cravings. She reflects a lot on how good it feels to be sober. She's choosing to focus on the positive parts of the journey instead of just the negative. She chooses to paint a new picture and reprogram her associations with positive memories. The first 24 hours were difficult. She felt guilty and anxious. Second day feels more optimistic. Third felt better. It continues to get easier. She started going to meetings and it really helped her solidify her plans for the future. Every day gets a little bit better.

[29:00] What are you thoughts on relapse? It's always a possibility. She resolves to try her best and not to feel guilty. [32:44] How have you address self loathing in recovery? She is talking more than before. She's never been good at talking about her feelings. She's had to learn to express herself. She's able to recognize when she's triggered and now she reaches out to loved ones when she is feeling down. [34:20] What is your plan moving forward in recovery? She is trying to be less negative. She wishes she could drink normally. [35:10] Is there anything you wish you could have done differently? Giving therapy more of a chance and giving things more time. Being okay with results coming slowly. Taking it as it comes. [35:55] What have you learned about yourself? She can handle a lot. She used to be more anxious because of alcohol. She feels more calm. She gives herself credit for being able to handle stress well. [37:05] Are you in the pink cloud phase? She isn't sure. She experiences sudden bursts of emotions, and is still generally processing.

[38:24] Rapid Fire Round

1. What was your worst memory from drinking? The moment she had to go to the ER.
2. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? When she started blacking out after only 3 drinks.
3. What's your plan moving forward? She would like to go more to AA.
4. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Recovery Elevator podcast. It fits nicely into her commute. Moderation Management website online chat.
5. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? From a lady in AA that has 45 years of sobriety. There is no gold medal. You always have to keep trying.
6. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Alcohol does not define you. You are so much more than your relationship with alcohol.
7. You might be an alcoholic if... "Your boyfriend's niece points to your drink and says it's your drink"

Resources:

When Things Fall Apart – a book by Pema Chodron

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Today we have Ky, with 10 months since her last drink.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. "To know and not to do... is not to know." - Buddhist Proverb Are we able to successfully quit drinking by devouring books, blog posts, podcasts and internet articles? The facts about the dangerous nature of alcohol can be quite sobering. Though education is never a waste of time, knowledge alone is not enough to keep you sober. It can inspire, reinforce, or encourage you to quit, but it is not enough. Self knowledge is no match for our unconscious mind, which is where most of the internal workings of our addiction lie. Sobriety requires knowledge, action and community.

SHOW NOTES

[10:40] Paul Introduces Ky. Ky is from 28 years old and is from British Columbia. She works 3 jobs and enjoys, cooking, comedy shows, movies, and crossword puzzles.

[12:50] When did you first realize you had a problem with alcohol? She started drinking around 12 years old. She thought "This is it!" She thought it was something missing from her life. Now she realizes that many of the friendships she made through drinking were empty. She feels like she has been drinking most of her adult life. She feels like a baby in sobriety. Her dad was an alcoholic. He still drinks. In her early 20's she drank more after a sexual assault. She had an alter ego while drunk. She moved to Hanoi, Vietnam but found that she couldn't escape her alcoholism as she experienced a bump in income. Her drinking became more necessary. She eventually attempted suicide but kept on drinking.

[20:50] What was your mindset like before your suicide attempt? She had felt stuck and empty for so long. She felt like she had been searching for something to make her feel good for her entire life. When she moved back to Canada she experienced a loss of purpose and increased boredom which lead to more drinking. She always assumed she would die at 27. Now she sees it as juvenile.

[24:38] What was the thinking before you attended your first meeting? She really wanted it to not work. She went to an AA meeting just to give herself permission to drink after and she was blown away by how much she identified with the people there. The mental health side of her therapy has helped her. She's now able to decrease the negative voice in her head that tells her she isn't good enough or that she can't do it.

[30:00] Are you living more in the present? Absolutely. She was blown away when her therapist said that she wasn't her mind. She started practicing meditation and has learned about deeper dimensions of life.

[32:12] Walk us through your first few days of sobriety. It was really hard. The first week was difficult. She didn't realize how hard it was going to be. She would set appointments with herself to keep herself busy. She knew she needed to get sober. She had nothing left on the drinking side of life. She was fully committed to sobriety because the other option was death, for her.

[35:18] How do you handle cravings? The first few months were filled with cravings. She would ask for help in the morning and say thanks at night. She still gets cravings, but they get weaker and shorter. Her brother helped her get through the difficult ones.

[39:04] What is your plan in recovery moving forward? She keeps things simple. She starts of with meditation in the morning. She focuses on gratitude. She still goes to meetings. She focuses on things that are good for her. Her life feels more full.

[39:38] What is your take on the 12-step program? She hates the higher power / god aspect of it. She still identifies as an agnostic. She just removes the parts that are offensive to her. She just focuses on meditation and meetings. She reminds herself that she's not alone and focuses on what she needs to do.

[40:43] Rapid Fire Round

1. What was your worst memory from drinking? Too many. When she showed up to her job after a 3 day bender. She told her colleagues that her bf had beat her up but later on remembered that she had actually beat him up.
2. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? That weekend where she was trying to drink on pace with her brother and limit the amount she drank. She realized that if she can't control it, she was going to have to give it up for good.
3. What's your plan moving forward?
4. What's your favorite resource in recovery? The AA meetings. She also loves podcasts and her therapists. The Joe and Charlie Big Book Study, The One You Feed.
5. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Just don't drink today, under any and all conditions.
6. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Just try it. If you don't like it, you can always go back to the way your life was before. Life without alcohol is so much more fulfilling.
7. You might be an alcoholic if... "you realize that all of your social media posts are related to booze."

Resources:

Beyond the Influence – a book by Katherine Ketcham

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Today we have from Jade. She's 27 years old, from Kentucky and has had her last drink on April 14th 2018.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

The Ego: The part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and unconscious mind. It is in charge of reality testing and gives us a sense of personal identity. The self concept. A collection of beliefs that serve as the foundation for our bearings in life. A healthy ego can serve to give us something to lean on when times get tough. We believe in ourselves and are capable of handling adversity or difficult emotions. An unhealthy ego can cause us a lot of problems. When an ego gets unhealthy, it can keep us from living in the present moment because we harbor beliefs about ourselves that aren't congruent with reality. Letting go of an unhealthy ego is a big step in recovery.

Jade, with about 2 months since her last drink, shares her story...

SHOW NOTES

[11:15] Paul Introduces Jade. Jade is a 27-year-old liquor store manager from Kentucky. She has a dog, and enjoys the outdoors, playing the piano and reading.

[13:00] When did you first realize that you had a problem with alcohol? She started at 16. She realized she had a problem at about 25. She was in a failing relationship and was dealing with a lot of stress. She turned to alcohol. She made a first quit attempt, and during those 40 days she realized that her relationship needed to end. After relapse, she made friends with people who drank as much as she did. Many parts of her life revolved around alcohol. Once she started she realized she couldn't stop.

[17:40] How hard was it to only have 1 or 2 drinks? Once she started, if she couldn't continue she would get irritable. At first alcohol was very social, but eventually she didn't want to be around people when she was drinking. She started only getting drunk alone.

[20:30] Did you make any attempts to moderate your drinking? She would skip if she was super hungover. She switched from beer and wine to liquor. She figured it was less calories and better for dieting, and more concentrated so it was quicker getting drunk.

[22:50] How did you end up quitting? She had been trying for two years. She started reading and listening to podcasts. She browsed the r/stopdrinking subreddit. She figured out that she couldn't do it alone, and that she needed to join a community. She made the step to reach out. She didn't think she was worth sobriety and she didn't think anyone would care. She found out the exact opposite was true. It has been easier than she thought. The community made the difference for her.

[27:45] Have you had any cravings? What did you do? She had many. She would post on Cafe RE and engage the community there. "Playing the tape forward" helped as well. The loss of control always bothered her when she was drinking. [29:35] What have you learned most about yourself in sobriety so far? Her emotions aren't permanent. When her emotions got difficult in the past, she thought they were going to last forever and she would respond by running away from them. Now she is learning how to deal with them in a healthy way by sitting with them and listening to what they have to say. She doesn't need to reach for a distraction. She doesn't have to run away from her own mind as much.

[31:31] What is the biggest challenge you've faced so far in sobriety? Getting out of the routine. She feels like something is missing.

[33:42] Walk us through a day in your recovery. What's your plan to keep adding days? She tries to get up earlier to get a good walk in with her dog. She takes care of her dog, plays her piano. She disperses recovery nuggets throughout her day to help get her through. [35:19] So you were a manager at the liquor store? It hasn't been bad at all. She feels like she's made up her mind and doesn't feel any temptation. She is now able to identify the alcoholics that come in. She appreciates the flexibility she gets with her job and is able to also study.

[39:40] Rapid Fire Round

1. What was your worst memory from drinking? Blacking out and not remembering what happened.
2. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Instead of getting hangovers she was getting alcohol withdrawal with anxiety.
3. What's your plan moving forward? She wants to go to more meetings to meet sober people.
4. What's your favorite resource in recovery?
5. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? She felt like a burden asking people for help. Someone told her that by sharing her struggle it helped other people to stay sober.
6. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? To reach out and find a support system. She was surprised by the amount of support she received.
7. You might be an alcoholic if... "you leave your job at the liquor store to drive to the other liquor store across town to buy alcohol so your co-workers don't know how much you drink after work."

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Today we have Zack, with 514 days since his last drink.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

"There are many excuses to drink... but no reasons." "When you are an addict, the only line you can cross but can not come back from is death." Dating and Sobriety Modern dating has us drinking more, but being less successful at it. Drinking can give us a false sense of connection. A 2014 Survey from Plenty of Fish found that 36.4% of singles drink before going out and 48.9% drink during the date. It's not entirely surprising that modern dating and drinking are so thoroughly linked. Having a conversation with a stranger can be difficult, whether the internet was involved in your meeting or not. People will drink to make themselves feel more relaxed, but in reality, all they are doing is slowing down their brains, dulling their senses and intuitions. Not drinking works in our favor. Jitters are your body's way of telling you that you care. Mating is natural, primal, and our bodies have developed mechanisms for sniffing out whether or not a potential mate will be good for us. When we drink, we are hiding parts of ourselves from our potential partner, as they are hiding from us. Real connections sprout from the roots of honesty and vulnerability. Believe that dating without drinking is possible. If you find yourself struggling with the idea of a sober meet up then you probably need more time to gain your sober footing before you venture out into the wild. In sobriety, an awkward date is simply that.. an awkward date. It just means that you have no natural chemistry with the person, and that's ok. Remember dating is about getting to know the other person. Ask questions, listen to the answers. See how you feel. Be patient, don't rush things. The opposite of addiction is connection. Zack, with 514 days since his last drink, shares his story...

SHOW NOTES

[12:19] Paul Introduces Zack. Zack is from Nebraska, lives in Colorado. He's married and loves the outdoors.

[14:15] When did you first realize that you had a problem with alcohol? Mid 20's. He didn't want to end up like his father. His father drinks nightly. He realized that his friends were moving on with their lives. He kept trying to moderate or quit unsuccessfully.

[17:00] Now that you know more about alcoholism, has your relationship with your father changed? Kind of. He said he will never end up like his father. He didn't start drinking until after high school. His father helped him get his first drink.

[18:10] What did it feel like to crave alcohol? Irritable. He would work harder so he could get home quicker and open his first drink. Most of the time he was drinking alone. It started fun but he became lonely.

[20:00] When were you finally able to quit? How? He got a DUI. He promised himself he wouldn't drink and drive. He wasn't able to give up the drinking, so he just stopped driving. He drank alone a lot. He gained a lot of weight. He developed other health problems. He stopped caring.

[22:30] Did you have a rock bottom moment? How did you quit? For years leading up to his health scare, he would try to stop drinking. It lead to a period of emotional numbness that scared him into taking his health seriously. He moved to Colorado, and the geographical cure didn't work. His application for life insurance was declined because of his many health problems. That woke him up and he realized that it would really affect his family. He made up his mind to quit on January 1. He noticed his addiction lying to him in his own voice and he was able to make it through the initial stages of craving. He almost relapsed, but the smell of the open bottle made him stop. He reached a turning point and decided to research what he could do to stay sober. He found a sobriety forum online and the responses were overwhelming. He hadn't opened up to his wife about quitting drinking, so the online forum became his support. He finally told her he quit after three months, and it was difficult for him.

[29:30] Assuming your wife will hear this recording, what would you like to say to her about your drinking? It's been extremely difficult, and he's sorry about withholding and lying. He's sorry for the emotional difficulty he's put her through. Creating accountability with his wife, and joining Cafe RE has helped him to heal and grow emotionally.

[33:00] Did you experience a pink cloud? What was it like afterwards? First 5 months or so was good. He kept busy. Worked a lot, hiking, running, he lost 40 pounds. He ran his first half marathon. Around month 10, he just slowed down and realized that he was just filling his time and not actually growing. He realized he couldn't stay busy forever. Podcasts helped him learn and realize that he also needed to grow emotionally.

[35:15] How was your relationship with your wife changed since you've tried to grow emotionally? He opens up to her more, which is difficult for him. Their relationship has gotten a lot stronger because he's finally able to tell her more. She has noticed a huge change in his state. He is more emotionally available. [36:40] Walk us through an ordinary day in recovery for you. He wakes up to a workout at 4am. He has a gratitude list. He works from 6:30 until the afternoon. They are in the process of remodeling their home. He and his wife hang out for a while and connect. [39:09] What do you value most in recovery? Better relationships with people. He doesn't feel as isolated. [39:27] What is your proudest moment in sobriety? He ran his first half marathon. His achievements in the realm of exercise have been great inspiration.

[39:50] Rapid Fire Round

1. What was your worst memory from drinking? Definitely the DUI.
2. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Running out to his truck to get his whiskey bottle, and drinking as much as he could.
3. What's your plan moving forward? "One day at a time." Focusing on relationships and creating accountability.
4. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Cafe RE. It's accessible and he can check it every day.
5. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Create accountability and do it as quickly as you can with as many people as you can. The more accountability you can create the more open and honest you can be and the more real support you will receive.
6. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Take it one day at a time.
7. You might be an alcoholic if... "you get a DUI and the first place you go after you're released is to the liquor store."

Resources:

Mentioned John Oliver Clip

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Today we have Kris, with 294 days since his last drink.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. Today we will look at anxiety and the role it plays in alcohol addiction. Anxiety is inevitable, but we can change what we do and feel about it, ultimately affecting the level of severity we experience and the frequency of attacks. It shows that we care about what is going on. Anxiety is a tool we inherited from our prehistoric past that let us know that we were in danger. It is useful and necessary, and is a natural part of life. Unlike normal anxiety, chronic anxiety does not have roots in the present moment. Chronic anxiety begins when the anxiety becomes our default modus operandi. The conscious mind focuses on the anxiety, fueling it and allowing it to expand and become consuming. We find ourselves on a hamster wheel of potential causes, cures, analyses, and ultimately, fear and discomfort. It surfaces for, as far as we know, no apparent reason. We make attempts to repress or sidetrack it. Drinking is one way that many try to deal with their anxious feelings. While we are drinking, it feels like our problems temporarily disappear. When we look more closely at the way alcohol changes brain chemistry, we see that all it does is slow us down and weaken our higher faculties. In the relatively short long term, alcohol usually makes our problems worse by increasing our anxiety and having a negative impact on our overall health. We have the ability to naturally rewire and change our brains. When we make the decision to quit drinking, over time we can reverse many of the negative effects on our brain chemistry and overall health. Our brains are able to find a new and more healthy version of homeostasis with less anxiety, less depression and more clarity. Chris, with almost 1 year since his last drink, shares his story

SHOW NOTES

[11:40] Paul Introduces Chris. Chris is 36 years old, a power plant operator, lives in North Dakota. He's married with two kids and a dog. He enjoys camping and boating, cooking, photography, and woodworking.

[13:40] What is camping like now that you don't drink? Alcohol took over his life. Now he feels more present for his kids. He feels his life is more enriched. He enjoys more of nature. He is happy to have quit.

[16:00] When did you first realize that you had a problem with drinking? A while ago. He craved it since he started in high school. It started social, and it gradually progressed. In the military, he went to Korea when he was 21. Being far away from friends and family was difficult and and he drank more. He suffered from "terminal uniqueness". He felt he was different from the people around him. We lie to ourselves and focus on the differences, further isolating ourselves from the community around us.

[23:55] Did you ever have a rock bottom moment? How much were you drinking? He was drinking a case of tall beers almost every week. His wife had been giving him ultimatums for a while. He started to drive drunk on a regular basis. He was regularly drunk, or if he wasn't, he was experiencing intense anxiety. He would regularly yell at his kids. He was terrified about what he was becoming. His wife turned toward the church and he turned toward alcohol. He and his wife had a blowout over drinking and they separated. He read a few AA books. He moved out to the camper. His faith suffered and he had to see his pastor. His wife explained how much he was hurting her. He went to see a counselor and started to unload his emotions. He eventually found an intensive outpatient program that helped him quit.

[31:38] Will you share a little of what you learned in your outpatient program? Neuroplasticity, how your brain becomes dependent on chemicals. He learned that it wasn't a moral failing, and he felt relief. He started to relate to the other members in the group. His wife filed for divorce, and it helped him apply himself in the program.

[37:15] Where did you get the strength to move forward? The gift of desperation. He didn't know what else to do. He saw that this was an opportunity to change and he applied himself. His faith life had dried up and he became inspired after reading "Bill's Story" from the AA book. He started to get better rest. As he worked the program his feeling of higher power returned. He realized how much he had hurt his wife. He was lucky enough to have counselors and friends in his life that helped him get through it. He started to focus on his actions and not the results with his kids and his wife started to come around. He started to do the work for himself and not for her.

[45:42] What have you learned most about yourself in sobriety? That he's worthy of love. He's worthy of a happy life. Life is worth it.

[46:20] What's on your bucket list in sobriety? To continue. To continue to work on his marriage. To continue to make memories with his family. He wants a future for him and his loved ones. He wants to help other people with recovery.

[47:51] Rapid Fire Round

1. What was your worst memory from drinking? The many ways that he hurt his wife and kids. He'll never forget hurting his loved ones.
2. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Last summer when he chose drinking over his wife.
3. What's your plan moving forward? To continue to work a program. He likes to keep his sponsor close.
4. What's your favorite resource in recovery?
5. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? You don't have to be sober for the rest of your life, today. Take it a day at a time.
6. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Just be honest with yourself. Stop lying to yourself. Don't listen to the voice of addiction. Tell someone that you trust. Accountability and community is key.
7. You might be an alcoholic if... "You go to sleep drunk, and wake up with less eyebrows and more penises drawn on your face."

Resources:

This Naked Mind – a book by Annie Grace

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Today we have Kim, who took her last drink on December 31st, 2017.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Compassionate Curiosity: a way we can get to the root of why we drink. "The problem's not that the truth is harsh, but that liberation from ignorance is as painful as being born. Run after truth until you're breathless. Accept the pain involved in re-creating yourself afresh." - Naguib Mahfouz One of the biggest root causes of addition is self loathing. Feeling like we are not worthy or that we are in any way less than others is a belief often found at the center of our addictive behavior. The cure for self loathing is self compassion, or self love. Replacing the habit that is self judgment with forgiveness, the mental rigidity with an intention of being open, or the repetitive criticism with positive messages that we can do this are some of the first steps toward distancing ourselves from addictive tendencies. We begin with a process of self examination, wherein we compassionately do so without judgment. "There is no moving forward without breaking through the walls of denial." -Gabor Maté Kim, with 1½ years since her last drink, shares her story...

SHOW NOTES

[1:30] Paul Introduces Kim. Kim is 37 years old from Arkansas. She's been sober over 1½ years. She's married with 3 kids. She works as a counselor. She enjoys her spending with her family, reading, and Kintsugi.

[6:05] When did you first realize you had a problem with drinking? She experienced complications with her pregnancy. With that came a prescription of pain medication. After she went through the pain meds, she noticed that she couldn't stop drinking.

[9:06] Did you try to put any rules into place? From her work with addiction, she knows that putting rules into place is addictive behavior. She was probably going through a half gallon of vodka per week. She attempted to quit throughout 2017.. nothing really stuck.

[10:35] What were some lessons you learned in your previous attempts to quit? She has a stubborn personality. When she tried to quit using her will power, she failed. It scared her. She started researching different podcasts, and found Recovery Elevator. She was worried that she couldn't do it alone. She began to find other stories and realized that she was on a slippery slope.

[13:20] How were you able to quit successfully? She realized that she needed to remove triggers. She tried to eliminate stress. She hired someone to help her with small duties.

[15:50] How are you able to maintain professional distance in your job working with addicts? When you work in a field where you give to others, you have to make sure that you are ok first. You have to give to others what you can spare, not what you need.

[17:00] Walk us through the early days of your recovery. The first month was difficult. She had lots of cravings. She tried to keep the memory of her difficult year close. She would use the brainspotting technique. She knows people can relapse after years and years. The addiction waits to see where the hole is, and that's where it gets you.

[23:50] Are you able to be open about your own recovery with patients? Reaching out to Paul helped her realize how she was in denial about her addictions. She shares her recovery experience with some patients, and it's been much more helpful.

[24:40] What are the common hangups that your patients have? The biggest struggle is the stagma and the shame. Also, the surrendering to higher power. [27:10] What is the biggest thing you've learned about yourself? She needs to show herself the same compassion that she gives to everyone around her. [27:40] What has been your proudest moment in sobriety? Sharing with her clients. Showing them that she also struggles with different things. [28:28] What are you looking forward to in Peru? Seeing the beauty, and being a part of a recovery community.

[29:10] Rapid Fire Round

1. What was your worst memory from drinking? Pre-parent: 17yo, on vacation with family in Mexico. Parents lied about her age so she could drink at the resort. She hung out at the bars. On the last night, she was sexually assaulted. As a parent: She used to drank in front of her young child. Her child began to copy her drinking behavior by drinking his water in a small cup with a straw.
2. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment?
3. What's your plan moving forward? She would like to be a voice for recovery with mental health professionals.
4. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Her faith is strong and it helps her in her darkest moments. The Miracle Morning. She does it daily no matter what. Recovery Elevator podcast. She looks forward to listening weekly.
5. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? You can't do this alone. The magic happened when she reached out.
6. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? A quote by Carl Jung.. "What you resist, persists. What you can feel, you can heal."
7. You might be an alcoholic if... While listening to someone else's story you think to yourself that you need to remember it in case you relapse.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Audible is offering my listeners a free audiobook with a 30-day trail membership. Go to audible.com/elevator and start listening. Or text ELEVATOR to 500-500.

In the Realm of the Hungry Ghosts – a book by Gabor Maté When Things Fall Apart – a book by Pema Chodron The Miracle Morning – a book by Hal Elrod Kintsuji – The japanese artform of "golden joinery". Brainspotting – a theraputic technique Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Today we have Fran, with 16 months since her last drink. She's 43 years old.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. For many people, the answer of what is it that is holding us back in our lives isn't exactly obvious. The question of what is blocking us from obtaining that inner peace we deserve can be difficult to answer for some. The good news is that if you're listening to this podcast, the answer is most likely alcohol is what's holding you back any it may be time to "burn the ships". Fran with 16 months since his last drink, shares her story...

SHOW NOTES

[8:00] Paul Introduces Fran. Fran is 43 years old from Indiana, but originally from Cleveland. She's married and a mother of 2. She's a program director and massage therapist. She is an entrepreneur and loves yoga and the outdoors. She also likes to work in her yard. She previously had 3 years of sobriety during her 20's.

[11:15] What made you seek out a sober life initially? She injured herself as an athlete and then got into the restaurant business. Initially it was fun, but then she began drinking on the job. She realized her life was empty and she became depressed again. An ex of hers helped take her to a 12 step meeting. It worked until she stopped actively working on her sobriety.

[14:14] What was your initial attempt at sobriety like? She was able to ground herself in who she was, with a clear mind at a very pivotal time in her development. She met other women in recovery and it felt a bit like a clique. She didn't feel like she fit in. After graduating college sober, she started doing some internet dating. She met her husband and relocated to Indiana. She had her first child, then started drinking shortly after the child was born. She felt dislocated. She transitioned back into semi-regular drinking, which eventually lead to excess.

[20:02] Did you experience a bottom moment? She had many. She would fight with her husband. She blacked out at a baby shower. She fought with her family and her husband's family.

[26:37] What was it like when you first quit drinking? It wasn't easy. It was a process that took time. Initially motivated by weight loss, she felt like she was talking about it all the time. She realized that she could not go a day without drinking. Her husband was suffering from throat cancer and she started taking his pot pills after he recovered. She tried to substitute them for alcohol. She thought pot could get her sober.

[28:49] Did that help? No. The anxiety and depression was worse. She became suicidal. She went back into recovery. She started listening to Recovery Elevator. She hit the gym. She found herself back at AA. She's more committed this time, and this time it's "no matter what".

[33:26] What is your recovery portfolio like today? She focuses on gratitude. She reads and meditates. She does yoga before work. She realized that other people around her now have permission to focus on their health, as she leads by example. Her marriage has improved a lot.

[37:06] What is it like to be a healer and to help people release tension and bad energy? It's a gift. When she's able to be present, it helps them let go. As a sober person, she now honors and respects her own body and leads her clients and students to the same.

[38:54] Rapid Fire Round

1. What was your worst memory from drinking? Seeing the despair on her child's face and she witnessed her mother being drunk.
2. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Stopping to buy alcohol on the way home from the gym, and opening the bottles before she got home.
3. What's your plan moving forward?
4. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Her sponsor.
5. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? It's going to get better if we stay away from alcohol.
6. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? It's okay. It's okay to give it a shot to see what it's like. It's not as scary as it seems.
7. You might be an alcoholic if... "You're so incapacitated by alcohol that your family thinks calling your reverend is the only way to get you to go home."

Resources mentioned in this episode:

This episode is brought to you by Simple Contacts. Visit www.simplecontacts.com/elevator and use the promo code elevator for $30 off your first order.

The Language of Letting Go – a book by Melody Beattie

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"