Redefining Strength Podcast

The Elephant and The Rope - Question Your Boundaries

Question your limitations!

I had a woman tell me that she was told women can’t get the ab definition I was showing in my picture.

I’ve had people tell me they gave up lifting because they were told they simply shouldn’t after x age…

Do not be an Elephant tied up.

I found this story the other day and thought it so highlighted how we can all hold ourselves back or even let things others have told us hold us back….

A man was walking nearby to a group of elephants that was halted by a small rope tied to their front leg. He was amazed by the fact that the huge elephants are not even making an attempt to break the rope and set themselves free.

He saw an elephant trainer standing beside them and he expressed his puzzled state of mind. The trainer said “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them.

As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.

Don’t create your own limitations.

So often we hold ourselves back because of one mistake, one failure, one comment that we aren’t good at something.
 We let a barrier that may have even been there before, hold us back forever, never re-testing what we can accomplish.

We let a “false belief” hold us back forever.

We condition ourselves to believe we are bad at something, that we can’t make a change.

But there is ALWAYS a way to improve.

The question is, how can we overcome these self imposed limitations. How can we get ourselves to question and test that rope to break free of it finally?

I want to outline a few key ways we can always keep testing our boundaries and questioning our own limitations.

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I focus a ton on mindset on the podcast because I think our mindset behind things ultimately dictates our success or failure.

We can have all the right tools and never embrace them or take action if our mindset isn’t there to move us forward.

And I think our brain is often partly responsible for our progress stalling.

We THINK we are doing all of the right things, but the reality is…

We often aren’t.

Yes sometimes we just need to stay consistent with everything because results are building and we just need to be patient…our least favorite thing ever…

BUT often we’ve also let little things SLIDE that we haven’t even noticed.

That’s why I wanted to touch on 3 things you want to assess if you’ve been stuck for awhile or feel like you’re even slowly starting to roll backward in your results…

Some fun questions to learn everything you want to know about Cori of Redefining Strength

I know I’ve personally been guilty of this even…

The comparing where you see someone else’s success in, well, really any aspect of life and you think…

“Yea well they didn’t have to deal with (insert thing you think is holding you back).”

But that is a self-limiting belief.

And honestly not beneficial as a thought in any way, shape or form.

It does nothing to move us forward and only reinforces the belief we are somehow unable to find a way forward.
 But the simple fact of the matter is, life involves sacrifices no matter your situation.

And we each have our own priorities and values.

If we CHOOSE to bring something into our life, if we CHOOSE to make something a priority, we have to understand how it will impact other things.

And this isn’t a bad thing. There is no right or wrong to what we should or shouldn’t value or prioritize.

But each time we do put something first, we do automatically push other goals by the wayside.

And we can’t BLAME those things.

Instead we need to identify what truly matters to us and find ways to work around or balance the things we want.

We need to find ways to even adapt our values.

Often I hear…

“Well you don’t work 8 hours a day and then have to go home and cook for a family.”

A. You never truly know someone else’s situation to compare.

B. Ok so if you feel that work and family are priorities in your life and you WILL always put them first, instead of blaming them, what is something you can do to work AROUND them?

Sure you may have to sacrifice gym sessions at times. But then how can you steer into that and plan out something quick at home?

We have to remember we’ve CHOSEN what we value. What is a priority to us.

And to ever move forward with other goals lower in that list, we need to find a way to make them matter to the things we value most so we still find a way forward. And we even need to find ways to do the MINIMUM when these other things need to come first!

So how can we stop making the excuse that someone else doesn’t have to deal with something and instead embrace the priorities we’ve set and work around them to move forward?

I definitely come at this from a personal perspective and one of a person who really freaking hated change growing up.

My mom loves to tell stories about how I wouldn’t sleep like a month before school started because I was so nervous about the new year.

And I went from this person who sooooo didn’t like change to a person forced to constantly change it seems like on a daily basis.

I still don’t like it. I like routines and consistency and doing things the way I’ve always done them.

But I also don’t fight change any more.

And I attribute the fact that I have just learned to go with it because I’ve realized why it was such a challenge.

I also own up to my own dislike of it vs trying to downplay it.

But I’ve realized that change is such a challenge because it isn’t really the actions that have to change but the MINDSETS.

And part of making a change is sort of admitting we are currently WRONG in something we are doing even.

The more tied to something we are, the more we view things as right and wrong, good or bad, the harder it becomes to embrace something new.

It becomes hard to shift those very binary mindsets.

It becomes a process of not only embracing new actions, but also new mindsets.

And that means UNLEARNING THE OLD as we LEARN THE NEW.

It’s that unlearning and retraining process of not only the body to some extent but also the mind that is hard.

That’s why I wanted to share a few things I feel have changed my perspective on change and made me a bit more easily adaptable even though I still don’t like it haha

Do It ANYWAY!

Motivation is fleeting. When we are just motivated other things easily take priority. We do things when they are convenient for us.

Now discipline…

When we are disciplined, no matter what else is going on in our life…well we do the things we should anyway.

But how do you become disciplined?

I think there are a few key components to discipline…

We all do this…

We say “It won’t work.”

“I can’t do…”

“I’ll never be able to…”

“I’ll get turned down….”

But we don’t actually “KNOW” what the outcome will be because we’ve never actually done the thing or tried to find a way around the situation.

And I do understand we don’t have to try everything to know that some ideas are good or bad…

Like jumping off a cliff…

BUT I also think too often we write something off before we test it.

We think we know the answer BUT we don’t actually know if we haven’t tried something!

Sometimes we NEED to try it and fail to truly know whether or not it will work for us!

Sometimes you’ve got to test something!

It’s so funny how we avoid taking the risk when it feels like there could be embarrassment or failure.

So funny how we won’t do that with things that feel too intimidating yet someone will tell us a plate is hot and we’ll touch it to test….don’t know if we don’t try right?! Haha

We draw our own lines.

We DECIDE what is or isn’t worth the risk.

We decide what we do or do NOT know until we’ve tried.

Which got me to thinking, when faced with my own situation of not wanting to do something because I had the thought of “it probably wouldn’t work” how I could get myself to take the risk anyway….

Because I didn’t really know. And wouldn’t know for sure unless I tried…

So this is what helped me dive in, put myself out there, and well…now wait and see as to how it truly all panned out…

Guess what?

Someone always has it easier than you. And someone always has it harder than you.

But also guess what?

It doesn't MATTER IN THE FREAKING SLIGHTEST.

All you can ever do is work based on your situation, your needs, your goals, your lucky breaks and horrible setbacks.

I don't say this to be uncaring or unfeeling.

Life can really push us to our breaking points at times.

But the simple fact is, all we can ever do is try to find a way forward if we want results.

As harsh as this sounds, sometimes we need to tell ourselves to stop trying to blame our lack of results or progress on our situation.

The simple fact is...A. We often don't know what it took for someone else to succeed so trying to "claim" they had it easier is a waste of breath and only holds us back.

And B. Ultimately whether we see everything in our life as a reason NOT to move forward or a reason TO move forward is up to us.

Maybe it's because I'm openly a control freak, but I love to realize that whether I succeed or fail, or even decide to TRY at something, is my fault.

So it’s interesting the words that illicit not so favorable responses from people.

Like beginner for instance.

No one wants to be called a beginner, which I find amusing as I always want to own up to being a beginner at something. It means I have an excuse to suck at it.

Honestly I try to act like a beginner in most things because I feel I can always master something more or better.

But beginner is a word I’ve found many see as an insult.
 And oddly enough, accountability is a word just like that.

A few times when messaging with people I’ve asked, “So are you looking for maybe more accountability and coaching?”

And I swear I could see their looks through my phone screen as I read their messages back that had some form of this laced in with everything else….

“I don’t need any accountability. I’m just not sure what to do but I’m very motivated and dedicated and don’t need someone to hold me accountable.”

They never called out the coaching.

Just the accountability part.

As if wanting outside accountability was a bad thing.

Shoot…I do my best to create outside accountability for myself in as many ways as possible.

I feel the more I have that outside accountability, since I don’t want to fail publicly the more I’ve guaranteed myself success.

I don’t see having extra accountability as me not being motivated or me needing help.

I see it as me caring so much I make sure I do everything in my power to succeed.

For me accountability is essential. Not something to dismiss. Or something that makes me less of a badass who can do everything all at once.

So as much as I’ve sort of avoided using this word with people, I want to take it back.

I want to share a few ways I personally hold myself accountable and believe it really is often the missing piece in our success no matter how driven, motivated, freaking badass rockstar we are….