I know I’ve personally been guilty of this even…

The comparing where you see someone else’s success in, well, really any aspect of life and you think…

“Yea well they didn’t have to deal with (insert thing you think is holding you back).”

But that is a self-limiting belief.

And honestly not beneficial as a thought in any way, shape or form.

It does nothing to move us forward and only reinforces the belief we are somehow unable to find a way forward.
 But the simple fact of the matter is, life involves sacrifices no matter your situation.

And we each have our own priorities and values.

If we CHOOSE to bring something into our life, if we CHOOSE to make something a priority, we have to understand how it will impact other things.

And this isn’t a bad thing. There is no right or wrong to what we should or shouldn’t value or prioritize.

But each time we do put something first, we do automatically push other goals by the wayside.

And we can’t BLAME those things.

Instead we need to identify what truly matters to us and find ways to work around or balance the things we want.

We need to find ways to even adapt our values.

Often I hear…

“Well you don’t work 8 hours a day and then have to go home and cook for a family.”

A. You never truly know someone else’s situation to compare.

B. Ok so if you feel that work and family are priorities in your life and you WILL always put them first, instead of blaming them, what is something you can do to work AROUND them?

Sure you may have to sacrifice gym sessions at times. But then how can you steer into that and plan out something quick at home?

We have to remember we’ve CHOSEN what we value. What is a priority to us.

And to ever move forward with other goals lower in that list, we need to find a way to make them matter to the things we value most so we still find a way forward. And we even need to find ways to do the MINIMUM when these other things need to come first!

So how can we stop making the excuse that someone else doesn’t have to deal with something and instead embrace the priorities we’ve set and work around them to move forward?

I definitely come at this from a personal perspective and one of a person who really freaking hated change growing up.

My mom loves to tell stories about how I wouldn’t sleep like a month before school started because I was so nervous about the new year.

And I went from this person who sooooo didn’t like change to a person forced to constantly change it seems like on a daily basis.

I still don’t like it. I like routines and consistency and doing things the way I’ve always done them.

But I also don’t fight change any more.

And I attribute the fact that I have just learned to go with it because I’ve realized why it was such a challenge.

I also own up to my own dislike of it vs trying to downplay it.

But I’ve realized that change is such a challenge because it isn’t really the actions that have to change but the MINDSETS.

And part of making a change is sort of admitting we are currently WRONG in something we are doing even.

The more tied to something we are, the more we view things as right and wrong, good or bad, the harder it becomes to embrace something new.

It becomes hard to shift those very binary mindsets.

It becomes a process of not only embracing new actions, but also new mindsets.

And that means UNLEARNING THE OLD as we LEARN THE NEW.

It’s that unlearning and retraining process of not only the body to some extent but also the mind that is hard.

That’s why I wanted to share a few things I feel have changed my perspective on change and made me a bit more easily adaptable even though I still don’t like it haha

Do It ANYWAY!

Motivation is fleeting. When we are just motivated other things easily take priority. We do things when they are convenient for us.

Now discipline…

When we are disciplined, no matter what else is going on in our life…well we do the things we should anyway.

But how do you become disciplined?

I think there are a few key components to discipline…

We all do this…

We say “It won’t work.”

“I can’t do…”

“I’ll never be able to…”

“I’ll get turned down….”

But we don’t actually “KNOW” what the outcome will be because we’ve never actually done the thing or tried to find a way around the situation.

And I do understand we don’t have to try everything to know that some ideas are good or bad…

Like jumping off a cliff…

BUT I also think too often we write something off before we test it.

We think we know the answer BUT we don’t actually know if we haven’t tried something!

Sometimes we NEED to try it and fail to truly know whether or not it will work for us!

Sometimes you’ve got to test something!

It’s so funny how we avoid taking the risk when it feels like there could be embarrassment or failure.

So funny how we won’t do that with things that feel too intimidating yet someone will tell us a plate is hot and we’ll touch it to test….don’t know if we don’t try right?! Haha

We draw our own lines.

We DECIDE what is or isn’t worth the risk.

We decide what we do or do NOT know until we’ve tried.

Which got me to thinking, when faced with my own situation of not wanting to do something because I had the thought of “it probably wouldn’t work” how I could get myself to take the risk anyway….

Because I didn’t really know. And wouldn’t know for sure unless I tried…

So this is what helped me dive in, put myself out there, and well…now wait and see as to how it truly all panned out…

Guess what?

Someone always has it easier than you. And someone always has it harder than you.

But also guess what?

It doesn't MATTER IN THE FREAKING SLIGHTEST.

All you can ever do is work based on your situation, your needs, your goals, your lucky breaks and horrible setbacks.

I don't say this to be uncaring or unfeeling.

Life can really push us to our breaking points at times.

But the simple fact is, all we can ever do is try to find a way forward if we want results.

As harsh as this sounds, sometimes we need to tell ourselves to stop trying to blame our lack of results or progress on our situation.

The simple fact is...A. We often don't know what it took for someone else to succeed so trying to "claim" they had it easier is a waste of breath and only holds us back.

And B. Ultimately whether we see everything in our life as a reason NOT to move forward or a reason TO move forward is up to us.

Maybe it's because I'm openly a control freak, but I love to realize that whether I succeed or fail, or even decide to TRY at something, is my fault.

So it’s interesting the words that illicit not so favorable responses from people.

Like beginner for instance.

No one wants to be called a beginner, which I find amusing as I always want to own up to being a beginner at something. It means I have an excuse to suck at it.

Honestly I try to act like a beginner in most things because I feel I can always master something more or better.

But beginner is a word I’ve found many see as an insult.
 And oddly enough, accountability is a word just like that.

A few times when messaging with people I’ve asked, “So are you looking for maybe more accountability and coaching?”

And I swear I could see their looks through my phone screen as I read their messages back that had some form of this laced in with everything else….

“I don’t need any accountability. I’m just not sure what to do but I’m very motivated and dedicated and don’t need someone to hold me accountable.”

They never called out the coaching.

Just the accountability part.

As if wanting outside accountability was a bad thing.

Shoot…I do my best to create outside accountability for myself in as many ways as possible.

I feel the more I have that outside accountability, since I don’t want to fail publicly the more I’ve guaranteed myself success.

I don’t see having extra accountability as me not being motivated or me needing help.

I see it as me caring so much I make sure I do everything in my power to succeed.

For me accountability is essential. Not something to dismiss. Or something that makes me less of a badass who can do everything all at once.

So as much as I’ve sort of avoided using this word with people, I want to take it back.

I want to share a few ways I personally hold myself accountable and believe it really is often the missing piece in our success no matter how driven, motivated, freaking badass rockstar we are….

There is one thing I think really is what success boils down to and I want to share why I think this…

It actually came off of seeing a variety of responses to posts over the last week and thinking about the commonality in some of the responses across topics.

It’s always interesting to see how people interpret the videos and tips you put out.

I find it especially interesting the range of responses I get - from victims to victors.

The victors always pat themselves on the back for making changes. Finding a way forward.

The victims always use those same life situations to state why they can’t move forward.

And then even if they do pull out a positive, it’s linked to a comparison about how something isn’t as good now as it used to be.

Life happens.

Changes happen.

We lose ground. Lose momentum. Things slide.

But comparing to what was, does nothing to move you forward.

I won’t lie to you even.

You may NEVER get back there.

But you can still move forward.

I think that’s always what I want to focus on.

It’s always what the underlying message of “it’s not your age,” “you can come back stronger from injury,” “menopause doesn’t mean you’re doomed to never have the body you want”….really is.

It isn’t that with age your skin won’t change. Or that it doesn’t become harder to build and retain muscle.

It isn’t that with an injury you may not have to avoid certain movements, especially to start.

It isn’t with menopause that what used to work won’t work anymore.

BUT with all of these things, you can always improve your current situation to move and feel your best.

It may be DIFFERENT than what was. But things can ALWAYS get better if we choose to find a way forward no matter what.

Life constantly throws us events and situations that can easily be seen as obstacles. Because they are.

But ultimately we have the CHOICE to view them as opportunities instead.

Only when we do this can we ultimately move forward.

And honestly, this is the biggest secret I see of people who are successful and get results.

So if I could give you one tip that will allow you to start this mindset of moving forward, it would be…

STOP COMPARING TO WHAT WAS.

I’m telling you this as an incredibly stubborn, at times very pigheaded, person that definitely likes to learn by doing…and failing.

However, over time, as much as I value those learning experiences, I’ve come to realize it’s ok to want a little “cheat code” to get better results faster and skip over the mess.

There will be plenty of ups and downs along the way even having that guide.

Honestly, I’ve begun to really question my previous beliefs about starting from scratch and having to make the mistakes myself.

I mean, why start from scratch when you can learn from the mistakes of others and leap frog months or even years past where you would be if you had to do it on your own?

That isn’t admitting you couldn’t do it on your own.
 It’s being smart enough not to waste time and even find ways you could improve upon those helpful hints and such to get further than you would have otherwise.

And it’s not only about using the experiences of others…it’s using your own previous knowledge to build off of versus feeling like you have to start over each time.

So because I’ve found that the more I avoid trying to reinvent the wheel or start from scratch to be so helpful in getting better results faster, I wanted to share 3 specific insights I hope will benefit you as well.

PODCAST: Struggling With Your Age? These 5 Tips Will Help

I’ll admit, there is nothing I hate more than when someone asks my age on a photo…because I know their goal is to give themselves as an excuse as to why they can’t look that way.

They’ll say no they’re just curious or whatever, but I know…because I’ve done it myself.

And I get it. There are new challenges we face as we get older.

Changes we have to make.

But these changes don’t have to limit us. They just require us to shift how we are doing things.

Never give yourself the excuse to give up.

Because guess what? That doesn’t help you ever live your healthiest happiest life!

Not to mention, I have to admit that I pride myself on not only achieving something personally. I think what we can personally achieve honestly doesn’t even translate well to how we coach.

Now the fact that I can help CLIENTS achieve their goals? Well that is what matters! Being called the menopause whisperer may be one of my proudest life moments ever.!

Now what are 5 tips you can use to overcome the AGE hang up?

Often when we talk about creating a lifestyle with our diet, we act like we’re going to do one thing for the rest of our life.

Which is interesting because we don’t just do exactly the same workouts forever.

Heck, if you look at your current lifestyle it probably isn’t exactly the same as it was just even last season.

I know personally my schedule and even activity level slightly shifts from Summer to Winter.

So if our lifestyle is constantly adjusting and flowing, even due to family obligations and work, why would our diet ever stay exactly the same?

The thing is it shouldn’t.

Your diet should evolve over time as your needs and goals change. Your lifestyle should evolve as you get older.

Menopause will change things.

Injuries will change things.

This doesn’t have to be a bad thing. We just have to be open to the changes.

And it’s why creating a lifestyle doesn’t mean you’re doing one thing forever.

And honestly, it’s why I love teaching clients about macros.

No one macro ratio works for everyone. And even when you find ratios that work for you, they’re going to change and adjust.

But the key point is, you have a solid foundation off of which to build.

Macros is like having the house frame set up and laid out.

You can adjust the paint colors, the decorations inside, anything else you want whenever you need or want based on what you want at the time. But you have that solid foundation off of which to build and tweak to suit your needs.

So instead of running from macros and letting the learning process push you to seek out a quick fix, embrace the learning process knowing that it will give you that solid foundation off of which to create a true lifestyle.

Because a fad diet and quick fix isn’t that. It may get you fabulous results, but you can’t keep doing it often which is why you fall off.

Results don’t come from doing something then going back to old habits.

Results come from evolving as your needs and goals change.

And remember evolving doesn’t mean what you were doing was bad or wrong. But if systems are mismatched, you’re not going to see results from them even if they are good independently.
 What worked for you when you were training hard 6 days a week for hours, may not work now when training 3 days a week.

What worked for you at 20, may not work for you at 60.

It doesn’t mean you’re doomed. But you have to meet yourself where you’re at. And that’s why I wanted to share these 3 tips to help!