The Divorce Course Podcast

Refusing 50/50 Care? What to Do in Mediation When Your Child's Safety Comes First


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🎧 Listen to this episode if:
  • You've been told to attend mediation but feel unsafe agreeing to child care arrangements

  • Your ex is pushing for 50/50 care and you don't believe it's appropriate for the kids

  • You're dealing with substance abuse, family violence, or safety concerns and your child's safety

  • You feel pressured to compromise at mediation when you don't want to

  • You want to understand your options without giving in on safety

Have you been told you need to go to mediation, but you're worried about the outcome because you simply cannot budge when it comes to your child's safety?

Has your ex demanded 50/50 care, but deep down you know that arrangement isn't in your child's best interests right now?

We talk about how to approach mediation when you feel stuck, how to clearly communicate your concerns, and the practical options that may be discussed including supervised time, stepped arrangements, and drug and alcohol testing.

If you're feeling pressured, overwhelmed, or unsure how to stand your ground, this episode will help you navigate mediation with clarity and confidence.

⏱️ Episode Timeline -Refusing 50/50 Care? What to Do in Mediation When Your Child's Safety Comes First

[00:00] – Mediation With Safety Fears

[02:33] – What Mediation Really Is

[05:40] – Holding The Safety Line Why you don't have to agree to unsafe arrangements just to reach an outcome.

[06:37] – Define The Real Risks How to clearly identify and communicate your specific safety concerns.

[09:27] – What Courts Call Unsafe Understanding how the court views risk and safety in parenting matters.

[10:33] – Supervised Time Options Exploring supervised contact as a way to maintain relationships safely.

[12:56] – Choosing Contact Centres How supervised contact works and what to consider when selecting a centre.

[16:34] – Cutting Contact And Court Optics What happens if time is stopped altogether and how it may be viewed legally.

[18:43] – Stepped Parenting Orders Using gradual increases in time to build safety and trust over time.

[21:26] – Therapy Conditions And Pitfalls When therapy is suggested, what to watch out for and potential risks.

[23:06] – Drug And Alcohol Testing How testing can be used to address concerns and create accountability.

[26:25] – Costs And Waitlists The practical realities of supervision services and delays.

[26:45] – Paying For Supervision Who pays for supervised time and how this is handled.

[27:28] – Preparing For Mediation How to go into mediation feeling clear, confident, and prepared.

[28:13] – When They Refuse Supervision What to do if the other parent won't agree to safe options.

[28:48] – Best Interests Not 50/50 Why equal time is not automatic and must reflect the child's needs.

[30:40] – Court View On Refusal How the court may interpret refusal to compromise or engage.

[33:27] – Holding Your Safety Line Practical ways to stay firm without escalating conflict.

[35:17] – If Mediation Hits Impasse What happens when no agreement is reached and what comes next.

[38:17] – Costs Threats Reality Check Addressing fear around legal costs and pressure tactics.

[39:07] – Using Mediation For Property How mediation can still be useful even if parenting isn't resolved.

[43:16] – Authenticity And Support Staying grounded, supported, and focused during a difficult process.

⚖️ Family Violence & Legal Disclaimer

This episode contains discussion of family violence and may be distressing for some listeners.

If you are affected, please consider listening with support or contact: Lifeline (Australia): 13 11 14 1800 RESPECT: 1800 737 732

This podcast is for educational purposes only and discusses general concepts in Australian family law. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance for your specific circumstances.

đź”— Helpful Resources
  • 1800 RESPECT – National Domestic Violence Support

  • Lifeline Australia – 13 11 14

  • Relationships Australia (Supervised Contact Services)

  • Parenting communication apps: OurFamilyWizard, AppClose

🎧 Recommended Episodes
  • Mediation: What It Is (and What It Isn't) https://youtu.be/YvcWAYuG4QA?si=hSiXFvVDaFDV4J6v

  • Understanding the Best Interests of the Child (Section 60CC) https://youtu.be/k4-QTbfW8XM?si=SDzN2cIzO4FtlMQu

  • Mediation Series: How to Prepare and What to Expect https://youtu.be/cmcFWXD2EBs?si=TqUcJvQzmd2MMNJc

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The Divorce Course PodcastBy Laura & Lyn

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