Regulated & Relational

In this episode, we speak with Dr. Stan Sonu, Associate Professor of Internal Medicine and Pediatrics at Emory University School of Medicine and Medical Director for Child Advocacy at Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta. Dr. Sonu shares his insights on adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), relational health, and trauma-informed care, focusing on how clinicians and schools can support resilience and wellbeing in children and families.

We dive into Dr. Sonu’s paradigm of “what’s strong with you” instead of “what’s wrong with you?”, and explore the fascinating concept of systemic empathy—how organizations and systems can create environments that nurture and protect children’s relational health.

Dr. Sonu also highlights innovative programs like Strong 4 Life at Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta and the Health-Law Partnership (HeLP), a collaborative addressing health-harming legal issues for low-income families.

He references valuable resources for clinicians, educators, and families, including the work of Dan Siegel, Interpersonal Neurobiology, and community support services at Grady Memorial Hospital.

Listeners will gain actionable ideas for integrating trauma-informed principles into their own practice, classrooms, or organizations, and be inspired to shift from focusing on deficits to recognizing and building on strengths in children and families.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

https://www.strong4life.com/en/our-experts/stan-sonu

Grady Memorial Hospital

Dan Siegel Books & Resources

Interpersonal Neurobiology Resources

Health-Law Partnership (HeLP)

Play isn’t just fun—it’s essential. In this episode, Ginger and Julie unpack the science, healing power, and everyday possibilities of play. From brain development to emotional regulation, play shapes resilience, fosters connection, and repairs the impact of trauma. You’ll hear how movement amplifies the benefits, how barriers like technology and busy schedules can be addressed, and why play matters just as much for adults as it does for kids.

Along the way, we highlight the insights of Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, Dr. Dan Hughes, Dr. Dave Ziegler, and Dr. Stuart Brown, plus practical strategies for both parents and educators to make play a daily part of life—even in middle and high school classrooms.

Whether you’re parenting, teaching, or healing alongside children, this episode will inspire you to see play not as a reward or an afterthought, but as a biological imperative and a vital tool for growth, recovery, and joy.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why play is a “biological imperative” and a cornerstone of healthy brain development.
• How play supports emotional regulation, resilience, and relationship-building—especially for children impacted by trauma.
• The connection between movement, nervous system regulation, and healing.
• Common barriers to play (like technology, safety concerns, and adult exhaustion) and how to overcome them.
• How a playful stance from adults—rooted in curiosity and delight—reduces defensiveness and fosters openness.
• Practical ways parents can integrate more play into daily life.
• Classroom-friendly ideas for incorporating play at all grade levels, including middle and high school.
• Why adults also need play for creativity, flexibility, and emotional health.

“When we prioritize play, we’re not just making memories—we’re shaping brains.” — Dr. Tina Payne Bryson

Resources & References:

• Bryson, T. P. (2024). The Way of Play https://a.co/d/hmyINYl
• Brown, S. (2009). Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul
• https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2009-17682-000
• Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation https://a.co/d/ahbaGPQ
• Hughes, D. A. (2009). Attachment-Focused Parenting
• https://a.co/d/5lfYF1p
• Bongiorno, L. (NAEYC). “10 Things Every Parent Should Know About Play”
• https://www.naeyc.org/our-work/families/10-things-every-parent-play
• BYU Arts Playbook — Nurturing Developmental Skills Through Arts-Integrated Education

What would it look like if we built a society that prevents child abuse and neglect—before it ever begins? In this episode, Ginger and Julie sit down with Dr. Melissa T. Merrick, President and CEO of Prevent Child Abuse America, to explore the evolving landscape of child well-being and what it takes to move from awareness to true prevention.

Dr. Merrick shares powerful insights from her 20+ years of work in clinical research and public health leadership, including her time as the lead scientist for the CDC’s ACEs study and as a principal architect of Thriving Families, Safer Children—a national initiative reimagining child welfare through the lens of equity, collaboration, and hope.

This is a conversation about what’s possible when we center families, build supportive communities, and focus on healing—not punishment.

In This Episode, We Explore:

• What the latest data on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) is telling us today

• Why prevention is possible—and how we shift from reacting to preventing

• The vision and impact of Thriving Families, Safer Children

• How systems-level change must include equity, community voice, and upstream investments

• The intersection of science, advocacy, and hope

• How leaders, educators, and caregivers can support family well-being at every level

"We can’t punish our way into prevention. Real change begins when we center families, build supportive systems, and believe in the power of thriving communities." — Dr. Melissa Merrick

Resources & Links:

Learn more about Prevent Child Abuse America: preventchildabuse.org

This is a follow-up to Episode 101, where we discussed the two recognized attachment disorder diagnoses and their impact on families. In this episode, we focus on how RAD shows up at school—and what teachers, counselors, and administrators need to know to respond with understanding and effectiveness.

Educator Takeaways

• Stay curious, not reactive. RAD behaviors are about survival, not defiance.

• Don’t take it personally. Regulation is contagious—yours can help calm theirs.

• Drop the rope. Avoid engaging in power struggles; instead, step back and stay grounded.

• Connect the adults. Prevent triangulation by keeping clear, direct communication among parents, teachers, and administrators.

• Prioritize safety and consistency. Predictable routines and transparent expectations create a sense of security.

• Support attachment without replacing it. Teachers can be caring and relational without taking on the role of primary attachment figure.

What Doesn’t Work

• Rewards and punishments as motivators

• Multiple warnings or lectures

• Asking “why” after behaviors

• Emotional reactivity from adults

What Does Work

• Calm, consistent follow-through

• Pre-planned responses for known triggers

• Structured routines and visual schedules

• Providing regulated choices

• Team-based collaboration with parents and specialists

• Focusing on regulation first, learning second

What if burnout isn’t just about exhaustion—but something much deeper? In this powerful episode, Julie and Ginger speak with Sheri Kreher, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and the Trauma, Illness, and Grief (TIG) Coordinator for 24 school districts in New York. Sheri brings two decades of mental health experience and a deep understanding of the emotional toll today’s educators are carrying.

Together, we explore the growing wave of vicarious trauma, moral injury, and systemic despair among school staff—and why the solution lies beyond individual self-care. Sheri introduces the idea of Active Hope—a framework that acknowledges the pain, honors the grief, and offers a path forward rooted in connection, validation, and systems change.

If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “What’s wrong with me that I can’t do this job anymore?”—this episode will help you reframe that question and begin to heal.

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In This Episode, We Explore:

• Why burnout in education is often a symptom of deeper, systemic wounds

• The role of moral injury and betrayal in driving educator hopelessness

• How vicarious trauma shows up—and why it’s not a sign of weakness

• What it means to practice Active Hope in school systems that feel broken

• How administrators can be a protective factor for staff

• Why naming, witnessing, and validating pain is essential to healing

• What it takes to build school climates of cohesion, care, and courage

"What looks like burnout is often unprocessed grief and betrayal. Educators don’t just need more resilience—they need to be seen, heard, and believed." — Sheri Kreher

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Resources:

• Active Hope (by Joanna Macy & Chris Johnstone)

• Active Hope Book Link: https://a.co/d/6dZ6xbi

In this episode, we talk with Rick and Doris Bowman about their brand-new book, Your FBA is a Fantasy!: A Guidebook to Creating Truly Trauma-Informed, Neuro-Affirming Functional Behavior Assessments & Behavior Support Plans. Together, we unpack why traditional FBAs and behavior plans often fall short—and can even harm students—and what it takes to truly shift toward regulation- and connection-based supports that foster resilience and belonging.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• Why traditional reward-and-punishment systems miss the mark for kids with trauma or neurodivergence.
  

• How to reframe “behavior” as an adaptive response—not defiance.
  

• Practical brain-body truths from neuroscience, Polyvagal Theory, and HeartMath that educators can use daily.
  

• Why adult nervous system regulation is the foundation for supporting students.
  

• A message of hope and encouragement for teachers feeling exhausted.
  

This conversation is full of wisdom, compassion, and practical tools that can change the way we see—and support—our most vulnerable students.

Resources & Links:

• Your FBA is a Fantasy! by Rick and Doris Bowman https://a.co/d/hYj5zoJ

• Learn more about Team Bowman and Bowman Consulting Group https://bowmanconsultgroup.com/

“Parents Have Feelings, Too: Emotional Intelligence, The Change Triangle, and Healing Generational Patterns with Hilary Jacobs Hendel & Juli Fraga”

Parenting can bring deep joy—but also guilt, shame, rage, grief, and more. So what do we do with all those big feelings? In this powerful episode, Julie and Ginger sit down with Hilary Jacobs Hendel, author of It’s Not Always Depression, and Dr. Juli Fraga, psychologist and parenting educator, to discuss their brand-new book, Parents Have Feelings, Too: Using the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self (out September 23, 2025).

This book is a practical, research-backed, and compassion-filled guide to help parents recognize, work through, and grow from their emotions. Together, we explore how understanding your own emotionallandscape—through tools like the Change Triangle and the 4 Cs of Open-Heartedness—can break intergenerational patterns and build emotional intelligence in both you and your children.

From the hidden power of disappointment to how to befriend your defenses, this episode is full of insight, practical strategies, and affirming reminders that your feelings matter too.

In This Episode, We Explore:

A gentle, clear introduction to the Change Triangle and how it helps people process emotions

The 4 Cs of Open-Heartedness—and how they lead to greater emotional freedom

 What’s underneath "parent burnout" and how to move through it with clarity

 Why naming and noticing your defenses can unlock self-compassion

 How understanding disappointment can transform your parenting

 Ways parents can model healthy emotional processing for their kids

 The role of unprocessed trauma in generational parenting patterns—and how to break the cycle

 Tools for parenting through anxiety, guilt, grief, and more—with authenticity and skill

Parents Have Feelings, Too is an emotional wellness playbook for parents. Drawing from the Change Triangle framework and Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), Hilary and Juli provide tools to help parents identify, understand, and process emotions in real time—so they can respond with calm, confidence, and connection. Through exercises, client stories, and reflection activities, this book guides readers to become more emotionally attuned parents and more authentic versions of themselves.

“With 1 in 5 moms experiencing anxiety or depression, and over 60% of parents facing burnout, this book isn’t just helpful—it’s necessary.”

RESOURCES

Parents Have Feelings, Too: A Guide to Navigating Your Emotions So You And Your Family Can Thrive:

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/788442/parents-have-feelings-too-by-hilary-jacobs-hendel/

Emotions Education 101 Class on Zoom for Parents:https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/education-cirriculum-content/emotion-education-101

Teens, Tweens and Caregivers Curriculum to provide anEmotions Education 2-hour Introduction:https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/workshops/teen-emotions-education-101%E2%84%A2

Print a PDF of the Change Triangle:https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/print-the-change-triangle

Change Triangle YouTube channel with tools:https://www.youtube.com/@TheChangeTriangle/videos

Follow Hilary: hilaryjacobshendel.com

Follow Juli: julifraga.com

In this episode of Regulated & Relational, hosts Julie Beem and Ginger Healy sit down with two fathers on a mission to transform the way families and schools understand neurodiversity—Carl Young and Joel Sheagren.

Carl and Joel are the co-creators of Embracing Hope: A Caregiver’s Guide to Neurodiversity, a groundbreaking book that bridges lived experience, creative storytelling, and research-based strategies to empower families raising children with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD), Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and trauma.

👉 Get the book on Amazon: Embracing Hope 👉 Learn more about the project: embracinghopebook.com

This book challenges deficit-focused narratives, instead celebrating the strengths, creativity, and resilience that neurodivergent individuals bring to their families and communities.

Through a blend of:

• Personal stories from caregivers and neurodivergent individuals
  

• Fictional vignettes that illustrate everyday challenges
  

• Evidence-based interventions that can be adapted to each family’s needs
  

…readers are invited to move beyond labels and see the unique gifts of every child.

In our conversation, Carl and Joel share:

• Why they recognized a critical gap in resources for parents raising neurodiverse teens
  

• How storytelling and character-driven vignettes help families engage with complex content
  

• The surprising and transformative insights from Embracing Hope that resonate most with overwhelmed caregivers
  

• How community, creativity, and advocacy can shift families from survival to thriving
  

This book is more than a manual—it’s a companion for families, educators, and allies who are seeking practical tools, renewed confidence, and the reassurance that they are not alone.

Join us for this inspiring conversation about resilience, advocacy, and the future of supporting neurodiverse children and families.

In this unforgettable episode, Ginger and Julie sit down with the one and only Barb Clark—a powerhouse trainer, parent, and advocate known for saying the things most people are too afraid (or too tired) to say out loud. With her signature honesty, humor, and hard-earned wisdom, Barb opens up about raising kids with complex needs, navigating Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD), and what it really takes to help families thrive—not just survive.

Barb shares her own parenting journey—including the very recent revelation of her own FASD diagnosis at age 56—and how it’s reshaped her perspective on everything from behavior to burnout. Together, we explore why traditional parenting strategies often backfire with neurodivergent kids, and how brain-based, compassion-rooted approaches can shift the entire family dynamic.

This episode is a must-listen for educators, caregivers, and anyone supporting children impacted by trauma, prenatal exposure, or hidden disabilities. It’s filled with relatable stories, regulation strategies you can use today, and more than a few laugh-out-loud moments.

Because as Barb says, “There is always hope—even if it’s buried under a pile of unfolded laundry.”

• What FASD really is—and why it’s more common than most people think
  

• How emotional regulation and brain-based strategies change the game for kids and caregivers
  

• Why traditional behavior charts and consequences often fail neurodivergent kids
  

• Barb’s personal journey—from raising a child with FASD to discovering her own diagnosis
  

• Tips for educators and leaders working with students impacted by trauma or prenatal substance exposure
  

• Practical, real-world advice you can use immediately
  

• Why humor, honesty, and connection are essential parenting tools
  

Barb’s book, Raising Kids and Teens with FASD: Advice and Strategies to Help Your Family Thrive, will be released October 21, 2025.

In This Episode, We Explore:Preorder Barb’s Book: https://a.co/d/eDc38tv

In this foundational episode of Regulated & Relational, Ginger and Julie dive deep into attachment disorders—what they are, how they’re diagnosed, and the realities families face when raising children with these challenges.

From the history of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder (DSED) to the proposed Developmental Trauma Disorder (DTD), Ginger and Julie unpack decades of evolving research, personal experience, and practical tools for caregivers and professionals. They also address the hallmark behaviors—like manipulation, triangulation, lack of empathy—and explore why these behaviors occur, and how to respond in ways that promote healing and connection.

This conversation is both honest and hopeful—acknowledging the challenges while sharing effective therapeutic parenting strategies, the importance of pacing and dosing nurture, and the long-term potential for growth and change.

• The history and evolution of attachment disorder diagnoses in the DSM
  

• How RAD and DSED differ—and why splitting the diagnosis has caused confusion
  

• Prevalence rates and why research has been limited
  

• How attachment disorders can be mistaken for, or co-exist with, autism
  

• The why behind hallmark behaviors:
  

• Manipulation and control
  

• Triangulation between adults
  

• Lack of cause-and-effect thinking
  

• Low empathy
  

• Therapeutic parenting strategies, including:
  

• Offering limited, safe choices
  

• Making implicit care explicit
  

• Pacing and dosing nurture to build trust
  

• Reducing chaos and avoiding power struggles
  

• Why Developmental Trauma Disorder matters—and how it may fill gaps in our understanding of trauma’s impact on children
  

• Hopeful outcomes and the critical importance of early intervention and ongoing support
  

• Attachment & Trauma Network: www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org
  

• National Institute of Health prevalence statistics (2023)

• Reactive Attachment Disorder - StatPearls - NCBI Bookshelf: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK537155/ (Published: May 1, 2023)

• Introduction to children's attachment - NCBI: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK356196/ 

• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK537155/#:~:text=Epidemiology,Adolescent%20Well%2DBeing%2C%20No.
  

• Research on RAD subtypes: Dr. Charles Zeanah (2004)https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4342270/

• ACEs Study: CDC ACEs Resources