On this Love Stories episode, Dr. Alexandra welcomes on a couple with a stunning story of rebuilding their marriage in the aftermath of infidelity: Kristi Born & Rainier Wylde. Together, they explore the story of their relationship, starting from the day they first met, to the early years of their marriage, to the moment of rupture, and the incredible journey of repair that they continue today. Their story gives us the opportunity to empathize with the pain of infidelity, as well as providing insights about what rebuilding trust can look when both partners are committed to walking forward together.

Dr. Alexandra’s E-Course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding After Betrayal or Deceit

https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/can-i-trust-you-again-rebuilding-after-betrayal-or-deceit

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/

Books on infidelity and related topics:

What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal (John Gottman)

New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity (Tammy Nelson)

The State of Affairs (Esther Perel)

The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World (Desmond Tutu & Mpho Tutu)

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma (Bessel Van Der Kolk)

Kristi's website:

https://www.kristiborn.com/

Rainier's website:

https://www.rainierwylde.com/

Dating is hard enough, and with so many voices offering advice, opinions, and hot takes, it can be challenging to tune in with yourself and how you really feel about a new prospect. Dr. Alexandra invites Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh on the show to answer a question from a listener who is having this exact challenge, and they discuss ways to regulate the nervous system and tune in with the body before, during, and after a date.

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk:

https://bookshop.org/books/the-body-keeps-the-score-brain-mind-and-body-in-the-healing-of-trauma/9780143127741

Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski:

https://bookshop.org/books/burnout-the-secret-to-unlocking-the-stress-cycle/9781984818324

Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh’s website:

https://www.sara-nasserzadeh.com/

Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh’s Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/dr.saranasserzadeh/

Dr. Holly Richmond joins Dr. Alexandra for a rich discussion about her book, Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex-Positive Guide for Moving Past Sexual Trauma and Living a Passionate Life. They also answer a listener question about communicating sexual boundaries in dating situations. (CW: sexual trauma)

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/

Dr. Holly Richmond’s book, Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex-Positive Guide for Moving Past Sexual Trauma and Living a Passionate Life:

https://bookshop.org/books/reclaiming-pleasure-a-sex-positive-guide-for-moving-past-sexual-trauma-and-living-a-passionate-life/9781684038428

Dr. Holly Richmond’s free mini-course, “Grounding Exercises for Survivors Reclaiming Pleasure after Sexual Trauma”

https://www.reclaimingyourpleasure.com/freeminicourse

Dr. Holly Richmond’s Instagram, @drhollyrichmond

https://www.instagram.com/drhollyrichmond/

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN)

www.rainn.org

Additional resources and help lines:

https://ncadv.org/resources

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra gets into the nitty gritty of a common relational challenge: jealousy. Addressing both the jealous individual and their partner, Dr. Alexandra illustrates how jealousy can manifest, what it says about a relationship and how couples can move through the emotion as a team.

Dr. Alexandra’s E-Course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding After Betrayal or Deceit

https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/can-i-trust-you-again-rebuilding-after-betrayal-or-deceit

Get the companion worksheet for this episode:

www.dralexandrasolomon.com/jealousy

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/

Resources and help lines for relationship abuse and domestic abuse:

https://ncadv.org/resources

The Widespread Suspicion of Opposite-Sex Friendships (The Atlantic)

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2019/08/mistrust-opposite-sex-friendships/596437/

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Romantic Jealousy (Psychology Today)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-files/201909/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-romantic-jealousy

Study: The Price of Distrust: Trust, Anxious Attachment, Jealousy, and Partner Abuse

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5380380/

Study: Romantic Attachment and Subtypes/Dimensions of Jealousy

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2936010/

For this special Love Stories episode, Dr. Alexandra welcomes identical twins Dr. Lindsay Kite and Dr. Lexie Kite to Reimagining Love. Lindsay and Lexie received PhDs in the study of women’s body image and have become leading experts in body image resilience and media literacy. Dr. Alexandra dives deep with the Kites to hear about their childhood growing up as identical twins, tracing how the challenges and joys of their sisterhood led them to the important work they do today and how their relationship has evolved through every stage of life.

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/

More Than a Body: Your Body is an Instrument, Not an Ornament by Drs. Lindsay and Lexie Kite

https://bookshop.org/books/more-than-a-body-your-body-is-an-instrument-not-an-ornament-9780358645573/9780358229247

The Kites’ website:

https://www.morethanabody.org/about-us/

How do we know when we are too accommodating in relationships, or not accommodating enough? Dr. Alexandra invites therapist and friend Vienna Pharaon on the show to talk about major life transitions and how they can impact our intimate partnerships. Together, they answer a question from a listener who is struggling to adjust to a new city and lifestyle, after having moved where her partner is doing his med school residency.

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/

Vienna Pharaon’s e-course, “The Origins of You”:

http://www.newyorkcouplescounseling.com/

Vienna Pharaon’s Instagram, @mindfulmft

https://www.instagram.com/mindfulmft/

A listener question about dating after divorce spurs a fascinating discussion between Dr. Alexandra and guest expert Liz Earnshaw, a marriage and family therapist and author of the new book I Want This To Work. Liz and Dr. Alexandra offer encouragement and possibilities to this listener as he considers looking for love in this new chapter.

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/

Referenced in this episode:

Liz Earnshaw's book: I Want This to Work: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Age

https://bookshop.org/books/i-want-this-to-work-an-inclusive-guide-to-navigating-the-most-difficult-relationship-issues-we-face-in-the-modern-age/9781683647959

Gottman’s “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”

https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/

The holidays are upon us. How do we want to do things differently this year? Dr. Alexandra discusses how to make the most of gatherings with loved ones, from having compassionate conversations, to taking breaks, to connecting over shared memories.

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/

Games to spark connection and conversation:

Table Topics:

https://www.tabletopics.com/

Heads Up:

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.wb.headsup&hl=en_US&gl=US

Where Should We Begin? A Game of Stories (Esther Perel)

https://www.estherperel.com/where-should-we-begin-the-game

Catch Phrase:

https://www.target.com/p/ultimate-catch-phrase-game/-/A-79749959

Love Lingual:

https://www.amazon.com/Love-Language-Conversation-Icebreakers-Relationship/dp/B0857JK41W/ref=sr_1_54?keywords=conversation+games&qid=1637347490&sr=8-54

Referenced in this episode:

Priya Parker in conversation with Krista Tippett:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/priya-parker-remaking-gathering-entering-the-mess/id150892556?i=1000537146183

In this first “Love Stories” episode, Dr. Alexandra sits down in the studio with Moe Ari and his mother, Sandra Brown. Originally assigned female at birth, Moe has used his own gender transition story to help many others discover their authentic voice and navigate the difficult journey of alignment, as a therapist and mindset coach. Moe and Sandra discuss their respective experiences of Moe’s transition, sharing the moments of realization, layers of grief, and unconditional love that allowed them to deepen their relationship through this major transformation.

Subscribe to the newsletter:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/

Moe’s website:

https://theemoeari.com/moeari

Moe’s Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/loveoutproud/?hl=en

Additional resources:

Moe Ari on the Mark Groves Podcast

The Gift of Gender Authenticity | Jean Malpas TEDx Talk

Ackerman Institute's Gender & Family Project

Therapist Shadeen Francis joins Dr. Alexandra to respond to a listener who is interested in opening up her marriage, but is facing resistance from her partner. They use this question as a springboard to explore the topic of disclosed non-monogamy, unmet needs, mental health and communication in a long-term partnership.

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/

Shadeen’s Website:

https://shadeenfrancis.com/

Shadeen’s Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/shadeenfrancis/

Terry Real's book, "I Don't Want to Talk About It":

https://terryreal.com/product/i-dont-want-to-talk-about-it/

Learn more about the topics covered in this episode:

The Flexibility of Female Sexuality with Wednesday Martin (The Psychology Podcast)

Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy (Jessica Fern)

Relationship Bill of Rights (Eve Rickert and Franklin Veaux)