Today, I’m joined by Desirée Pais, the founder of BENSHEN.co. Our conversation unfolds organically and deeply on relationships, how to exist in them as our most authentic selves, and how to clarify what we really want. We explore the difference between fate and destiny, how she created BENSHEN.co, and the roadmap to healing that triggers can provide. 

Desirée and I share what it means for us to be in long-term relationships. We both had to work through a lot of trauma, shadow work, the wounded feminine aspects of self, and shame to get to where we are today. Desirée observes that most people play out childhood patterns in relationships, particularly by not knowing exactly what they want and what they’ll accept. She stresses the importance of shadow work and overwriting subconscious patterning to access the core of our relationship desires. Her platform BENSHEN.co helps support this kind of personal growth, and she also details additional effective healing modalities. 

We share our experiences of navigating energy dynamics, approaching big conversations with partners, and how partnerships can lead to personal growth breakthroughs. Relationships have a special way of drawing out triggers that we may not know the root of. Having a self care practice is crucial in building a relationship with yourself so that you know how to work through them. Many of us hold suppressed emotions that subconsciously control our behavior and desires. Trust me, the work is always worth it. 

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Topics Covered:

• Desire and pleasure through the lower chakras
• “Spark” and commitment in long-term relationships 
• Energy dynamics, personal growth, and breaking generational patterns 
• Our biggest relationship breakthroughs
• Working with triggers to heal 
• Soulmates, fate vs destiny, and why Desirée chose to soften 
• The benshen acupuncture point 

Resources Mentioned:

• Sign up for the BENSHEN Summer Retreat here
• Use ‘THERAINBOPODCAST’ for 15% off at checkout on Rainbo products
• Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
• The Workout Witch
• Teal Swan

Guest Info: 

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