Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay

Relationship Counseling with Neurodiverse Couples: What Needs to Change?-Tony Attwood & Maxine Aston


Listen Later

In 2017, when I discovered I was in a neurodiverse marriage I bought every book on neurodiverse relationships by Maxine Aston and several of Tony Attwood's books. Each of the books I read made me feel less alone and helped me understand that after 29 years of marriage my journey to understanding was just beginning.

In 2020, when I started the Neurodiverse Love podcast I reached out to Maxine to let her know how much her books helped me and I invited her to meet with me to talk about joining me as a guest on the podcast. Maxine graciously responded and we set up what would be the first of many Zoom calls over the years that gave us an opportunity to share our lived experiences and the ups and downs of working with neurodiverse couples.

In addition, Tony Attwood and Michelle Garnett have been guests on the Neurodiverse Love podcast and they have done presentations at both the 2023 and 2025 Neurodiverse Love conference.

I am now honored to have had an opportunity to talk with Maxine and Tony about their new book "Relationship Counselling With Autistic Neurodiverse Couples-A Guide for Professionals". During this episde, they each share a little about their work together and the ways in which they have helped us learn more about how much support and guidance neurodiverse couples need as they navigate their unique journeys. They also share how critical it is for helping professionals to have in-depth knowledge of how neurodivergence may impact couples and each partner. In addition, we discuss the following:


  • Why this book is so important for ND couples and helping professionals.
  • Information about the respondents and their priority needs.
  • Training or personal knowledge was very important.
  • Cost of counseling was high.
  • Both partners may experience depression because of challenges in the relationship.
  • The importance of making your office more ND friendly 
  • Need to make it mandatory to get training on ND relationships 
  • Addressed different genders and cultural differences.
  • Feels like you’re talking different languages (culturally and neurologically).
  • Both partners will feel validated in reading the book.
  • Being believed and validated was important.
  • Many felt hopeless after counseling and ended their relationship.
  • How to understand if you are working with an Autistic partner and may not know it.
  • Emotional, financial and time cost invested in counseling. 
  • The value of mediation for ND couples

  • I highly recommend this book for both helping professionals and ND couples and I hope that all of you who buy the book will learn that you are not alone in the struggles you have had with therapists and coaches who have never been educated about neurodivergent adults.  As a society, we need to do a better job of providing in-depth education on the strengths, challenges and differences that ND couples and families experience!


You can learn more about the resources available from Professor Tony Attwood  here and from Maxine Aston here


You can also learn more about 9the resources Mona has available at the links below:

Host of the Neurodiverse Love Podcast

Buy the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or Workbook

Newsletter | Instagram | Website | YouTube

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

Neurodiverse Love with Mona KayBy Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay

  • 4.5
  • 4.5
  • 4.5
  • 4.5
  • 4.5

4.5

35 ratings


More shows like Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay

View all
ADHD Experts Podcast by ADDitude

ADHD Experts Podcast

1,322 Listeners

Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children by Debbie Reber

Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

961 Listeners

Therapist Uncensored Podcast by Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP & Ann Kelley PhD

Therapist Uncensored Podcast

1,388 Listeners

Neurodiversity Podcast by Emily Kircher-Morris

Neurodiversity Podcast

423 Listeners

ADHD for Smart Ass Women with Tracy Otsuka by Tracy Otsuka

ADHD for Smart Ass Women with Tracy Otsuka

53 Listeners

THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST by Holly Blanc Moses

THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST

633 Listeners

Unlocking Us with Brené Brown by Vox Media Podcast Network

Unlocking Us with Brené Brown

23,605 Listeners

Uniquely Human: The Podcast by ART19    Uniquely Human

Uniquely Human: The Podcast

416 Listeners

Meet My Autistic Brain by The Autistic Woman™

Meet My Autistic Brain

294 Listeners

The Neurodivergent Woman by Michelle Livock and Monique Mitchelson

The Neurodivergent Woman

138 Listeners

Healing Cassandra by Margot  Alexis

Healing Cassandra

18 Listeners

ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast by Kate Moryoussef

ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast

173 Listeners

YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship with Jodi Carlton, MEd by Jodi Carlton, MEd, LLC

YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship with Jodi Carlton, MEd

27 Listeners

AuDHD Flourishing by Mattia Maurée

AuDHD Flourishing

97 Listeners