Language of Love with Dr. Laura Berman

Renegade Grief: How to Grieve Out Loud in a World That Wants You Silent with Carla Fernandez


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What does it mean to grieve in a world that tells you to move on? How do you find light in the darkest corners of loss, and can grief—often seen as a burden—become a source of connection, creativity, and even transformation? 

After losing her father at just 21 years old, author Carla Fernandez became a "renegade griever," defying societal norms and creating a space where grief could be shared, honored, and even celebrated. 

In a culture that often shies away from death and discourages open expressions of sorrow, Carla chose a different path. Her journey led to the birth of her book Renegade Grief and a global community called The Dinner Party, that has touched the lives of over 20,000 young adults navigating the complexities of loss.

In this powerful Language of Love Conversation, Carla joins us to share her story and the lessons she’s learned from sitting at the tables of countless grievers. If you’ve ever felt isolated in your grief or struggled to find a safe space to express your pain, this episode is for you. 

Here’s what you’ll learn in this episode:

  • How grieving "outside the lines" can transform pain into power with Carla’s concept of Renegade Grief.

  • How a simple potluck dinner evolved into The Dinner Party, a global lifeline for thousands navigating loss.

  • The healing power of rituals to stay connected to your loved ones.

  •  How society lost its way with grief and why reclaiming communal grieving practices is essential.

  • Find out the most healing words you could ever hear in grief

  • The mysterious world of grief dreams and what they might reveal about your connection to those you’ve lost.

  • How to channel grief into meaningful action without bypassing the emotional work it requires.

    Looking for support in your grief journey? The Dinner Party connects you with others who get it—find a table near you at thedinnerparty.org.

    Carla’s book, Renegade Grief, is a must-read for navigating loss with courage and creativity. 

    Need practical ways to honor your loved ones? From altars to grief quests, Grief Rituals offers meaningful ways to process your emotions. Remember to visit  Carla’s website for more. Also make sure to check out the Grief Healing Collective for a community of like minded people, amazing resources on grief healing, and live healing sessions and events.  You can also check out  my Good Grief Course.


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