You’ve asked yourself “Is this a behavior that’s coming from my child’s trauma?  Or is this regular acting out kid behavior???”

Sometimes it’s pretty obvious but if you’re asking yourself that question, you’re probably in a situation where it isn’t obvious.

What if I told you it doesn’t matter?

Hear me out.

Why do you want to figure that out?  Usually because it feels like you’ll handle the situation different based on the answer.

But actually, it doesn’t matter. And it’s impossible to determine anyway.

What you really want to think about is- how dysregulated is my child?

And then respond to that!!  

There are some core truths about humans- regulated, connected kids who feel safe do well.  So if you’re child isn’t doing well- ask yourself if this is about regulation, connection, felt-safety or some combination of those.

Then, based on your child’s level of arousal/dysregulation, you can intervene in a way that will calm their arousal and bring back their owl brain.   

I explore this in depth in today’s episode!  If you want to learn more about this way of looking at behaviors, watch this free masterclass online  www.RobynGobbel.com/masterclass

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This paradigm shift will change everything you know about parenting.  Really, everything you know about being human!  In my nine-module in-depth parent course, you’ll go further in the why behind behaviors and then I fill your toolbox with lots of idea on what exactly to do when faced with difficult behavior (as well as how to avoid them occurring in the first place).

www.RobynGobbel.com/parentcourse

You can also sign up for the waiting list to come join me and hundreds of other parents over in The Club- a virtual community of connection and co-regulation for parents of kids with challenging behaviors- most families are parenting kids with a history of trauma. CLICK HERE to read about The Club

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

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The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

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Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

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Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)