Play Therapy Parenting Podcast

S2E20 - Power, Control, and Potty Problems: Effective Strategies for Toileting Challenges


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In this episode, I address a question from Emma in Ireland about her 4-year-old son's toileting issues. Despite being toilet trained for over a year, he frequently has accidents, especially during changes in routine or when other people are caring for him. I explain that this behavior is likely rooted in power and control issues, as children have control over very few aspects of their lives.

I discuss the concept of "somatic" responses, where emotional issues manifest physically, and how positive emotions can help overcome these challenges. I provide practical advice on using a child's "currency" - something they value - as motivation for proper toileting behavior. I also emphasize the importance of using choices and limit setting, even with young children, to address these issues effectively.

Throughout the episode, I offer specific strategies for parents to implement, such as setting neutral expectations and offering choices. I stress the importance of remaining calm and neutral in response to both successes and accidents to avoid triggering power struggles. Finally, I share a personal anecdote about my own experience with my son's accident in a restaurant, reminding listeners that these issues are common and temporary.

Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: [email protected] Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.

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Play Therapy Parenting PodcastBy Dr. Brenna Hicks

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