Why does it always seem like déjà vu when it comes to your love life? Ever catch yourself wondering, “Why does every guy I date end up cheating, no matter who he is?” Or maybe you’re on the flip side thinking, “Why does every woman I date always seem to have anger issues?”  It’s almost like you’re stuck in a dating loop, attracting the same person in a different body. But why does this keep happening?

In this Language of Love Conversation, I sit down with therapist and relationship expert Jessica Baum, author of new book Safe, to explore why our love lives so often play out like déjà vu. Jessica takes us far beyond attachment labels like “anxious” or “avoidant.” She reveals how our parents’ nervous systems wire our own from infancy, shaping the way we connect, attach, and seek safety. Those early wounds often live in our bodies as sensation, surfacing later when a partner pulls away, rolls their eyes, or simply doesn’t show up the way we need.

If you’re ready to stop repeating old patterns, this episode is your first step.

We explore: 

Why traditional attachment labels don't tell the whole story and what does.

How to tell the difference between your "thinking" left brain and your "feeling" right brain.

The surprising reason you keep attracting the same type of partner (and how to break the cycle).

Why "triggers" are actually invitations for healing and how to reframe them.

How memory is stored not just in your mind, but in your gut, heart, and muscles.

What it truly means to heal in a relationship, and why you can't do it alone.

The subtle signs your nervous system is scanning for to answer, "Are you with me?"

A powerful, real-life example of rupture and repair between a parent and adult child.

Practical steps to start creating safety within yourself and your relationships.

Remember to check out Jessica’s other books, including Anxiously Attached. And don’t forget to preorder your copy of Safe, coming out on October 28. It’s the manual your relationships have been missing. As a special gift for listeners, she’s offering free bonuses, including a deep-dive healing blueprint and a rare interview with her mentor. You can find her at jessicabaumlmhc.com and on Instagram @jessicabaumlmhc

 If you want to share your own love story, I’d love to hear it. Send me an email at [email protected]. Want to know what you really want in love? Take the quiz  now.

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