Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

HIJACKAL® BLAMING? IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!

Hijackals take no responsibility for anything they do. They refuse to be accountable. Yet, in order to pull that off, what has to happen? Everything has to be your fault!

And, it's not. The patterns that living with a Hijackal create are designed to wear you down, to tear you down, to make you second-guess yourself constantly. Now, though, because you're listening here to me, you know that likely not one of those things were your fault.

Never believe who a Hijackal says you are.

Why? Because a Hijackal HAS to make you out to be wrong in every instance, so they can be right. If you're taken my online course, Seeing the Cycles , you'll know that a Hijackal MUST win, in every situation and conversation. Otherwise, they feel insecure, and you know they are not going to let that happen.

Hijackals usually are nice in public and hellish at home. That's why, when you tell someone close to you about the horrible Hijackal behavior, they don't believe you. They don't see that person! That feels like a betrayal of you, I know. I've been there.

Hijackals project on to you the things they most fear are true about themselves. Blame, blame, blame.

Listen today, and stop taking on the blame. Even if it came from a parent decades ago, you can do some work to rid yourself of the remnants, and be truly free of that nasty parental voice that runs at the back of your mind at your most stressful moments. Let's work on that together.

Today's episode will give you insights into:

• why Hijackals have to blame
• why what they tell you about yourself is almost never true
• how blaming parents can have damaged your self-esteem and how to get it back
• why freeing yourself from these blaming relationships is important
• how to re-establish your self-esteem after a Hijackal

Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! They try to poison you. Be clear that you are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are, either. They will try to make everything your fault. Don't take it in!

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS

...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.

Patreon.com/RhobertaShaler

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #strongboundaries #sayingno #backoffbuddy #noblame #itsnotyourfault

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

7 RED FLAGS THAT PERSON YOU'RE DATING IS TOXIC. RUN!

So many people in my Facebook groups write about their fear of dating after being with a Hijackal. They are right to be concerned, and hopefully, that concern will lead them to getting the best help they can so they feel safe with themselves. Then, they will further develop their Hijackal Radar. That's what I help them do when we work together through video conferencing.

There are people who are momentarily difficult--like you or me on a bad day--and then, there are others who are relentless difficult. I call those ones #Hijackals ®. If you've been listening for awhile, or reading my articles, blogs, or books, you're already well aware of that term.

My definition of a Hijackal®:

"A person who hijacks a relationship--for their own purposes--and relentlessly scavenges it for power, status, and control." Familiar?

Everyone has bad days. Everyone goes through rough patches. We've all been there.

When it happens occasionally and completely unexpectedly, we know someone is "off their game." With Hijackals, it happens more and more. And, usually just to the people they say they love the most. In fact, more specifically, usually to their partner or child. Even, their adult children!

It could be an impossible to please parent. It could be a partner who set out to "get you," and life has turned into one big "Gotcha!"

These seven red flags to notice when dating can save you so much heartache later. So, whip off those rose-colored glasses and see these red flags for what they are: DANGER AHEAD!

Get insights on:

• how Hijackals fool you when they are trying to "get you"
• why nothing is ever their fault, but everything becomes your fault
• why giving them more understanding, love, patience, care, or time will not help
• how Hijackals erode your self-esteem and self-confidence
• what to do when you realize all this is true

Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! They try to poison you. Be clear that you are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are, either. They will try to make everything your fault. Don't take it in!

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS

...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.

Patreon.com/RhobertaShaler

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #strongboundaries #sayingno #backoffbuddy

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

EVER FEEL LIKE A PRETZEL OR DOORMAT TRYING TO PLEASE A HIJACKAL®?

Is there someone in your life who treats you poorly? Do you feel put-down, ignored, walked over, or taken advantage of?

That's not good. You want to be seen, heard, known, accepted, acknowledged, and appreciated. You know how I talk about this in my book, Kaizen for Couples? Well, it is not just for couples. It's for every single person on the planet, and that means you, too! It will help you change your relationship with yourself, while gathering strong skills to communicate well, manage conflict effectively, and create rich emotional intimacy.

If that's not the kind of relationship you're having with someone, then it's time to change that. It's time to get up on your back legs and say "NO!" and "NO MORE!" It's time to strengthen your boundaries.

If you were raised by a #Hijackal, a relentlessly difficult person, you've likely been trampled on so frequently that you learned that it's often safer to just lie there. Time to get up!

Boundaries frighten and inflame Hijackals. No question. But, you're not just going to lie there and take what they dish out are you? No, I'm not suggesting that you get in their face, and fight back. Something more powerful! In today's episode, I'm giving you some reasons and strategies for simply standing your ground without drama.

Will the #Hijackal provide more drama? Sure. But, you won't. What the Hijackal does is on him or her!

Your emotional health and emotional well-being is directly related to your ability--and your willingness--to manage your boundaries. Could they use shoring up? Today's episode will definitely help with that.

Get insights on:

• what to do when a person violates your space
• how to respond when a person gets too close to fast
• how to tell someone to back off
• why you don't owe anyone an explanation for why you want them to step back
• how to give voice to non-negotiable boundaries

Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! They try to poison you. Be clear that you are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are, either. They will try to make everything your fault. Don't take it in!

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS

...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.

Patreon.com/RhobertaShaler

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #strongboundaries #sayingno #backoffbuddy

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

HOW WILL I FEEL WHEN I'M LEAVING A HIJACKAL?

Whether that person has passive-aggressive, narcissistic, antisocial, borderline, or histrionic behaviors or tendencies, you need to know that you're going to have a totally mixed bag of opposing feelings on the day--and for a few weeks after--you leave. It's natural and normal.

Leaving a toxic situation can be a double-edged sword: there is freedom and peace, and there is anxiety and loss. You'll experience both.

Toxic people, Hijackals®, are looking for power and control over you. Because you are a good person, a loving, compassionate person, you were chosen by the Hijackal. Now, you're choosing health, peace, well-being, and self-esteem for yourself and your children. That's why you have made the decision to leave, and I know you've thought a lot about it.

You likely thought for a long that, if only you would go the extra mile, be long-suffering, or justify, rationalize, or excuse the bad behavior, the Hijackal would relax, change, even love you. You thought that, with enough love and patience, s/he would change. Hijackals don't change...for the better!

Today, I want you to know what to expect when you are leaving, and just after. I'm using my personal story because it taught me a whole lot. I hope it helps you, too.

Leaving is not easy except where there is sexual or physical abuse. Even then, some people stay longer than is healthy. Now, you're on your way to a new life. Yahoo!

A few highlights of today's episode:

• It's normal to be scared.
• It's natural to second-guess your decision.
• You will live.
• You'll do the samba: two steps forward and one back many times.
• You'll live.
• Things will get better.
• You will walk through SO many emotions, but keep walking!
• You'll live...lol.

Are you ready to be free of this? To stop questioning your sanity and second-guessing yourself? GREAT!

Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! You are being poisoned. You are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are.

I hope this help you see that more clearly. If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #leavinganarcissist

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

IS IT POSSIBLE YOU'RE ENABLING A TOXIC PARTNER? TIME TO STOP!

VERY IMPORTANT! NO BLAME HERE!

Do not blame yourself, or take on any blame, if you listen today and realize you're been enabling your toxic partner to continue to behave badly. S/he was going to do it anyway. You didn't cause it. You are a good person, who simply didn't have an impact when you said no. So, now you've been worn down, and torn down, by their bad behavior.

Toxic people, Hijackals®, are looking for power and control over you. Because you are a good person, a loving, compassionate person, you were chosen by the Hijackal.

S/he thought there was a good chance that you would go the extra mile, be long-suffering, or justify, rationalize, or excuse their bad behavior. You likely did...because you are a good person, and you thought that, with enough love and patience, s/he would change. Hijackals don't change...for the better!

Today, I'm talking about "enabling." Here's a definition that makes it clear:

Enabling is the behavior of protecting others from experiencing the full impact and consequences of their behavior

That's where the excusing, rationalizing, and justifying come in. You give them more than enough rope to hang themselves, and instead, they hang you!

A few highlights of today's episode:

• Eight identifiable behaviors of Hijackals that you may be unwittingly enabling
• Why it may feel like the toxic person, the Hijackal, treats you in a "Come closer. Stay away." kind of way
• Why enabling will NEVER get you the relationship you want: the one with honesty, safety, respect, trust, and reliability that I talk about in Kaizen for Couples: Smart Steps to Save, Sustain & Strengthen Your Relationship
• Why you want to stop enabling and learn the strategies to empower yourself BEFORE you announce you are leaving

Are you ready to be free of this? To stop questioning your sanity and second-guessing yourself? GREAT!

Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! You are being poisoned. You are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are.

I hope this help you see that more clearly.

If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #amIanenabler

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

3 BIG REASONS WHY HIJACKALS® NEVER STOP AND WHY YOU MUST!

Hijackals put you down, wear you down, and tear you down. They have to, in their minds because, at deep levels, you are THE competition!

You are not, but they behave as though you are. And, no amount of assuring them, caring for them—or pandering to them—will change this. So, you have to change, because they won’t! 

Today, I'm giving you three reasons that you'll easily see in your relationship that the Hijackal is crushing you. You know this, and I want to put a spotlight on it for you.

Can you admit these to yourself? That's the first step. You need to be able to say a clear "Yes!" not a "Yes, but..." with an excuse, justification, or rationalization of the crazy-making behavior.

Are you ready to be free of this? To stop questioning your sanity and second-guessing yourself? GREAT!

Hijackals are toxic people who create toxic relationships! You are being poisoned. You are NOT the poison that the Hijackal insists you are.

I hope this help you see that more clearly.

If you need help with this, I'm here for you.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. 

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #relationshipsarenotcompetitions

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

IS IT ACTUALLY COMPETITION THAT'S RUINING YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

ARE YOU MORE FRENEMIES THAN FRIENDS?

There's nothing attractive, compelling, or safe about competition in a relationship that is not on a playing field, in a pool, or a ring. It's destructive and exhausting. VERY IMPORTANT to recognize if competition is what's at the core of a relationship that doesn't feel safe.

Do you feel safe in your relationship? Are you relaxed and supported? You want to be, and need to be. If you're not, it could well be that there is subtle (or overt!) competition that is undermining the relationship, and YOU.

Are you and your partner a team? Can you, and do you, healthily rely on each other? You need to be able to!

What's your part in this? Time for self-reflection. These questions will help you clarify what part you might be playing to keep the competition going. It's always wise to start with self-reflection first. Here are the questions I gave you in this episode to go over and think deeply about:

• Is there a way that I am inviting competition in my relationship by my words, my actions, my demeanor, or my stance in life, and in my relationship particularly?
• Do I turn everything into a debate?
• Is my first inclination to find fault, rather than see the good?
• When I'm really honest with myself, do I have a big need to be right?
• Am I only happy when I am winning?
• Am I on guard and look for ways to prove my partner is wrong?
• Do I have a glass half full or half empty outlook?
• How much of the time am I focused on what I appreciate and love about my partner?
• Is that enough?
• Do I have my back up and something to prove that keeps me concerned, vigilant, and on edge?

VERY important questions. Maybe, you'll now see some areas you could work on, rather than start by what you want fixed in your partner. Will you do that?

Relationships are not competitions!

If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. 

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #relationshipsarenotcompetitions

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

Special Conversation with ​ Johanna Lynn, Clinical Hypnotherapist

All that happened to you in life affects everything that is currently happening in your life. If you are not getting the results in life and relationships that you want, then, you want to listen to this episode for sure. 

Unless you've had a reason or taken the time to think deeply about the home your grew up in, you might not recognize that you had a relentlessly difficult, toxic parent. If you did, the things you learned before you even could walk are affecting everything, on auto-pilot. That Hijackal parent taught you who you were and what to expect from life, and that parent lied to you. Really! 

MY GUEST Johanna Lynn, Part 1 - Inherited Family Ties and Traits

Why are you comfortable being treated in ways that make you uncomfortable? Learn how your nervous system learned this. Families share operating systems, family patterns, family traits. Learn how your inner images of yourself and your family play out in your life now.

Epigenetic patterns are real. Our inner images of self and family play out without our awareness. You need to know about this important information! It can clear up a lot of what has happened to you!

Get Johanna's free gift ebook, Be Good to Yourself HERE

THEN, listen to Part 2 on the next episode of Save Your Sanity podcast when we'll discuss emotionally unavailable parents and the issues they cause deep within us. Good news: those issues can be healed, and we can create loving, healthy, emotionally intimate relationships that not only last, but grow deeper and riches over time.

If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97. New clients only.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com

CONNECT WITH JOHANNA LYNN:

Website: JohannaLynn.ca

Facebook: JohannaLynn.ca

Twitter: @johannalynn

LinkedIn: JohannaLynn

Instagram: connect_johanna

You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. 

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #inheritedtrauma #trauma

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

12 DAMAGING WAYS YOUR NARCISSISTIC MOTHER LIED TO YOU ABOUT WHO YOU ARE

You don't have to wonder where your self-doubts came from if you were raised by a mother who had narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, or antisocial--Hijackal®--tendencies. She made sure you learned to walk on eggshells, second-guess yourself, and question your sanity! She would never let you feel good enough. Right?

In fact, she competed with you every second, on some level. And, she always HAD to win!

A narcissistic mother has to be at the top of the pile. She'll make sure she stays there, too. So, where does that leave you? At the bottom somewhere. Now, yes, you may be what is called her "Golden Child," the child who can do no wrong. She may haven one of those, especially if you have siblings. She may also choose on "Scapegoat Child," the one who can NEVER do anything right. And, the other siblings will be lost in the mix.

If your mom was like mine--and I was an only child--she just simple competed with me on every level all the time. So, how did she do that? By withholding approval, withholding acceptance, withholding affection, and withholding attention. It wasn't that she could play the piano or do other things I did. She didn't--and couldn't compete there--but, she simply ran hot and cold about my abilities. Such a Hijackal! One minute, she's telling the world about competitions I won and getting the credit for paying for all those music lessons, and the next, she's telling me that it's so annoying that I make so much noise practicing all the time. No-win situation!

Today, I'm talking about twelve ways your narcissistic mother, your borderline mother, your histrionic mother, or your antisocial mother will have lied to you about who you are. They cannot help it. They just have to do it. And, at deep levels, you had no choice but to take it in and believe it. It was, and is, emotional abuse!

Hijackals ® behave badly. They have an absolute need to have power and control over others. They are invested in keeping you down, controlled, and as powerless as possible. They feel they have done that when you are second-guessing yourself, and questioning your sanity.

When you've had a Hijackal mother, you have a lot of unpacking to do, to unearth and replace all the lies she told you about not being good enough, competent, capable, and more. Please take the time to do this. You matter, and your life can be so much more free, rewarding, and fulfilling when you don't believe the lies your mother told you. You can have healthy relationships that are emotionally intimate, once you stop believing her. She was wrong!

If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. 

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.

#Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople 

 Edit

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

4 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF TO NOT MISS EMOTIONAL RED FLAGS

Do you live on the edge, knowing that at any minute you could suffer from a stinger, a snide comment, or a cold shoulder from your partner, parent, or other difficult person?

Are disdain and disapproval always waiting in the wings?

Are you generally on-guard and waiting for the other shoe to drop?

Those are feelings you have when you are with a toxic person, a relentlessly difficult person, a narcissist, a borderline, or other antisocial person. That's why you NEED to listen to today's episode to learn more.

Today, I'm talking about four questions you need to ask yourself so that you will CLEARLY SEE RED FLAGS! Those flags can be infrequent, somewhat hidden, or some things you have unfortunately become too used to. Seeing them is the first step in making some big, positive changes to your relationship, first the one with yourself, and then with the partner. Do it to keep yourself away from emotional abuse, moving towards greater mental health!

Hijackals ® behave badly. They have an absolute need to have power and control over others. They are invested in keeping you down, controlled, and as powerless as possible. They feel they have done that when you are second-guessing yourself, and questioning your sanity. If that's happening to you, this episode can help you clearly see that it is time for you to change your perspective, your attitude, and your strategies. You deserve to be loved and treated well. Start now!

If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial hour consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. 

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: ForRelationshipHelp.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.

Good tips for knowing what to do and how to respond.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #systemicabuse #sexualabuse #physicalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.