Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

Sometimes they are hard to see... they don't really look red, or they're not very big... But don't ignore them. This quick episode will identify major red flags you NEED to pay attention to.

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 \

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. 

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: ForRelationshipHelp.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS®

with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor

Today. I talk about what happens if you're raised by a toxic, difficult person. What are some of the things that you might look at within yourself and:

• the way your life is going
• the way your relationships are going
• the way you feel about yourself
• the way you expand or contract in the world

That might have its basis in being raised by a difficult toxic parent somewhere deep down inside yourself.

You know you're not quite fine. You might say you are, but you know you're not and maybe you can't even put your finger on how you know you're not. So I wanted to offer some things today that might help you understand that. Deep down in there, there are some beliefs. I'm going to talk about five of them that you might just examined and see if they're true for you.

This can help you understand what a horrible gift your Hijackal parent gave you.

I created the term, Hijackals, for those people who hijack relationships for their own purposes and then scavenge them for power, status and control. A lot of parents fall into that category, so these might be good for you to work through and replace because they're mistaken beliefs about yourself. They were about the Hijackal, not about you.

Your brain grows until you're in your mid twenties, but by then, you're on a path and you may not even take time to examine what has happened to you. You think "It's just what I do," "It's just where I'm going and with whom," and you don't really recognize the impact of all that happened from the time your brain started developing, and that's huge.

Particularly what happened to us in the first two, three years of life makes a huge difference!

So think about these:

• What was going on in your house before you even had language?
• Who was there?
• Were they happy you were?
• Were they annoyed by your presence?
• 
  

You were there, a baby experiencing life by putting everything in your mouth, exploring everything you could touch and trying to make those giants whom you needed to keep you alive, interested and happy. You smiled and you laughed and you made encouraging noises, trying to attract them. That didn't work.

So you cried and they responded, but how did your parents respond?

• Were they loving?
• Did they come in time?
• Were they happy?
• Were they warm?
• Were they concerned about you or did they give you a feeling that you were a nuisance?
• Did you feel like you should make yourself small, not take up space?

These things make a big difference in how you feel about yourself as an adult, AND how you are able to create healthy relationships.

So many beliefs you may have about yourself now, as an adult, that stem from how your Hijackal parent treated you in your early life, long before you had language. That really matters!

I encourage you to spend time and reflect on this episode, and how it played out in your own life. If your parent is judgmental, critical, and competitive, it will ring true!

And, I invite you to read my free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal, at Hijackals.com and find out. If s/he is a HIjackal, you need more strategies and insights and they're there for you.

If you need help with this, I'm here for you. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

Let's talk soon. I can help. Schedule an initial consultation HERE for only $97.

I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.

Talk soon.

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

ForRelationshipHelp.com

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. 

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#raisedbyanarcissist #toxicparents #Hijackalparent #toxicrelationships #selfesteemeroded

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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When you considering divorcing a toxic person, or when you ARE divorcing a #Hijackal, and you have children, there are many considerations that might be important in other divorces.

#Hijackals MUST win. They don't really want the children as much as they want to have control over whether or not you have them. And, of course, they want control over the children, too. People--you and the children, in particular--are what we call "supply" to Hijackals. You supply them with validation, attention, interest, and all other things each one needs to feel large and in charge.

Whether you say you're leaving, or a Hijackal is discarding you, that #Hijackal still want to control the situation in every way possible.

When you have children, there are very specific things that are different and MUST be considered.

Aside from the co-parenting, there are other details its important to stay mindful and aware of when divorcing a Hijackal and you share children. Protecting your children's emotional and mental health needs to be top of the list in this process.

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

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I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Good tips for knowing what to do and how to respond.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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What You Need To Do For Your Kids When Co-Parenting With A Hijackal® Ex!

A #Hijackal parent is not benign: s/he affects the way your children see themselves and think about themselves. The #Hijackal parent models behavior for children long before the child even has language. Your children have already seen too much, right?

You've left, and removed yourself from the day-to-day influence of the Hijackal. Only problem with that is that your children have to go to the Hijackal's house and you have no idea what s/he is saying or doing to your kids!

On top of that uncertainty, you have to uphold the condition that most divorces in the US contain: you promise to not speak badly of the other parent to the child. Most #Hijackals ignore that. Best if you don't, though.

When the children tell you about what's going on at the other house, and how they feel about it, validate the children's feelings, and support them to view things in healthy ways.

So much to learn about coparenting with a #narcissist or other kind of Hijackal, and today's episode will help.

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. 

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#coparentingwithanarcissist #coparentingdifficulties #coparenting #coparentingwithahijackal

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You parted ways with a toxic partner, a #Hijackal, maybe a narcissist.

And, now s/he has come back, promising to be different and professing undying love?

Or, you were discarded by a toxic partner.

And, now you're lonely and hurting, and thinking that maybe it was all that bad?

You're thinking of apologizing for nothing you did wrong because you're trauma-bonded.

You know the answer is a flat-out "NO!" but I know that's not always easy to pull off.

Today's episode gives you some quick tips to keep your clarity and stick with your original decision and stay alone.

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 \

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. 

Good tips for knowing what to do and how to respond.

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#shouldItakehimback #shouldItakeherback #takinganarcissistback

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

#Hijackals, those relentlessly difficult, toxic people, want you to feel unsure of yourself.

Keeping you on guard and off balance gives them a sense of power and control.

I'm sure you don't want to give another person power and control over:

• who you are
• how you are
• what you do
• what you think
• what you feel
• what you need
• what you want
• and what you remember.

Am I right? I'm sure I am. You're an adult and you deserve to be in a relationship that is equal, reciprocal, and mutual. Anything less than that is not healthy enough.

Not only do #Hijackals make you second-guess yourself, they put you down, wear you down, and tear you down...until you say "No more!" Today's episode is a good start.

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Passive-aggressive behavior will drive you slowly round the bend!

Foot-dragging, procrastinating, truth-evading behaviors! Crazy-making!

Passive-aggressive people are often fearful of telling their truth the first time out. They will tell you what you want to hear in the moment, and then, when they don't follow through, they try and blame you for it. Crazy-making!

I've written a few books on #passive aggression and I invite you to have a look here on my Amazon page:

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=%22rhoberta+shaler%22&crid=2XI4F84XB7QS3&qid=1577601563&sprefix=human+design%2Caps%2C504&ref=sr_pg_1

Want help from Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. 

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#passiveaggression #passiveaggressive #passiveaggressivebehavior #whatispassiveaggressive

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trust often seems impossible, but trust is absolutely necessary for a relationship to be successful.

It's important to be able to calibrate your level of trust within a relationship consciously.

Today, I'm using a example of how trust became a major issue in a mediation within a corporate team. Imagine how that translates into a love relationship.

All the denial in the world cannot cover up the effects of a lack of trust.

Are you able to trust yourself?

Are you able to trust your partner?

Are you even willing to trust your partner?

How do you learn to trust. Listen in.

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. 

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#abilitytotrust #willingnesstotrust #knowingwhentotrust #livingindenial

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is conflict something to be avoided?

Are you uncomfortable around conflict?

How do you know when to confront?

Will you confront a difficulty head-on?

What about when someone's behavior is crazy-making, or someone's behavior is confusing?

What about when you're with a toxic person, when you're with a #Hijackal?

Today's answer is to a question about setting boundaries with a person who is always blaming?

#Hijackals make everything your fault.

#Hijackals see you as prey. You're not.

Good tips for knowing what to do and how to respond.

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Podcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

Pinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctor

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.