Sex Advice for Seniors Podcast

What do we learn about sex when no one talks about pleasure?

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, clinical psychologist Dr. La Keita Carter (Dr. L) joined me for a powerful, honest conversation about sex, silence, and the myths surrounding women of colour and intimacy. We explore how cultural messages, shame, and generational “don’t bring a baby into this house” rules shape sexual desire, relationships, and self-worth, often long into adulthood.

Dr. L breaks down the difference between sexual interest and sexual activity, why so many women feel obligated to have sex they don’t want, and how the “strong woman” stereotype leaves little room for softness in the bedroom.

A thoughtful, eye-opening discussion about pleasure, power, and why whatever we’re silent about often carries the most shame.

🎧 Listen now and join the conversation.

00:00 Introduction to Dr. La Keita Carter

00:54 Understanding Sexuality and Trauma

01:59 Cultural Assumptions About Women of Color

03:44 The Silence Surrounding Sexual Education

05:19 The Role of Pleasure in Sexuality

09:14 Duty vs. Desire in Sexual Relationships

10:45 Masturbation and Self-Exploration

12:45 The Importance of Orgasms

15:22 Strength and Vulnerability in the Bedroom

17:58 The Exhaustion of Being Strong

20:42 Historical Perspectives on Women of Color and Sexuality

22:25 Over-Sexualization of Women of Color

25:48 The Male Perspective on Sexuality

27:24 The Importance of Language in Gender Discussions

31:37 Ending the Cycle of Shame

Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.

You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.

If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.

I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you can.

I’m a big believer that we can receive good advice from anyone, regardless of their age. Emma Shandy Anway is a West Coast-based Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specialises in relational and sex therapy. Although in her mid thirties, she has extensive experience working with couples aged 50+ and, during this episode, we discussed her work specifically with those aged 70+.

Having chatted several weeks ago with Dr. Susan Campbell, herself in her 80s, about her sex life, I was curious on how someone fifty years her junior approaches the topic with her older clients because I have found that lived experience counts for a huge amount and sometimes those who have no concept of what it means to be older fall into familiar tropes and stereotypes that have no bearing on reality.

I can’t say that about Emma whose approach with her older patients clearly demonstrates an openness and eagerness to help them embrace their sexual selves, whether that means exploring open relationships, kink or simply learning how to be a better lover to each other.

As Emma says, age, illness and changing bodies do not have to mean the end of a vibrant sex life; the biggest shifts are in mindset, communication and willingness to experiment.​

What I know is that it is never too late to learn, explore or rewrite your sexual story, as long as you genuinely want to and are prepared to be curious, honest and kind with yourself and your partner.

You can find Emma here:

https://www.esacounseling.com/about

https://www.instagram.com/pennyboardpsych

Here’s a Yes/No/Maybe checklist I consider to be particularly comprehensive:

You can find the episode with Dr. Susan Campbell here:

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Sexuality in Later Life

01:44 Understanding the Motivations for Seeking Therapy

06:53 Redefining Good Sex: From Okay to Magnificent

12:06 Navigating Disappointment and Apathy in Relationships

16:19 Body Confidence and Aging: Embracing Change

23:09 Exploring Alternative Relationships and Sexuality

27:47 Communication Tools for Sexual Exploration

Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.

You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.

If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.

I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you can.

As soon as I saw Dr. Nikki Monti’s photo, an older woman with her streak of blue in her dark hair, I thought, we’re going to get along. A psychotherapist, who also calls herself a ‘thought healer,’ Nikki has appeared on a variety of high profile TV shows such as Keeping up with the Kardashians and recently published a memoir, ‘The Divine Traumedy of Nicki Joy: A True Grime Tale.’

This is a woman with a colourful past that includes three marriages, the first two short and chaotic, intertwined with drugs, alcoholism, violence and very brutal sex, which she now sees as reflecting how badly she treated herself. Her third lasted three decades and ended with the death of her partner, who following a prostatectomy, decided sex was over for both of them.

Without wishing to spoil this very lively episode, her current partner, whom also had a prostatectomy, chose a very different path, embracing creativity, sensuality and adaptation, and with him she describes having the best sex of her life.

Nikki is the living embodiment of my catchphrase ‘desire never retires’ and proof that, as she says, “older people can have rich sex lives if they stay in their bodies and stop running from themselves.” I encourage you to have a listen.

You can find Dr. Nikki Monti here:

https://www.instagram.com/drnickimonti

All her books and her website is available here:

https://stucknomore.com/books/

01:43 Exploring Relationships and Marriages

04:20 Lessons from Past Marriages

08:40 Navigating Love After Loss

10:21 The Importance of Sexuality and Intimacy

18:17 Finding Connection Beyond Type

27:46 Rising into Love and Self-Discovery

If you like this episode, and you’re a man who has also had a prostatectomy, you might find these two other episodes useful:

Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.

You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.

If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.

I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you can.

How retirement, changing identity and life transitions can contribute to depression later in life.

Why depression and antidepressants can both have a major impact on sexual desire and erectile function.

How couples can talk about changes in intimacy without blame or shame.

Why erectile dysfunction isn't always about attraction—and what partners often misunderstand.

How menopause, changing hormones and body image can affect women's confidence and sex lives.

Why exercise, purpose and meaningful activities can improve both mental wellbeing and sexual health.

How to have more productive conversations with your GP or healthcare provider about sex and medication.

Practical ways couples can support one another through mental health challenges without losing emotional or physical intimacy.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:10 How Retirement Can Trigger Depression

03:00 Antidepressants and Erectile Dysfunction

06:20 Supporting a Partner Through Depression

08:45 Rebuilding Intimacy When Erections Change

13:20 Talking to Your Doctor About Sexual Side Effects

16:00 Looking Beyond Medication

20:40 Menopause, Mental Health and Sexual Confidence

24:00 New Developments in Hormone Therapy

27:00 Lifestyle Changes That Support Mental Health

30:00 Finding Joy, Purpose and Better Relationships

34:40 Final Thoughts

Show Notes

What happens when your mental health begins to affect your relationship—and your sex life?

Depression is often discussed in terms of mood, motivation and energy, but far less attention is given to what it can do to intimacy. Whether it's retirement, changing identity, a health scare or simply the challenges of ageing, many people find that their emotional wellbeing and sexual confidence become closely intertwined.

In this episode, I'm joined by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Stewart to explore the often-overlooked relationship between mental health and sexual wellbeing later in life. Rather than treating sex as a separate issue, we look at the bigger picture: how purpose, confidence, relationships, hormones and medication all influence our desire for intimacy.

We also tackle one of the most common concerns affecting older couples—the sexual side effects of antidepressants. Dr. Stewart explains why erectile dysfunction isn't always a reflection of attraction, how partners can avoid misunderstandings, and why honest conversations with healthcare professionals are so important when choosing treatment.

Our conversation also turns to women's experiences of menopause, changing hormones and body confidence, alongside practical strategies that can support both emotional and sexual health beyond medication alone.

Ultimately, this episode is a reminder that good sex isn't simply about physical function. It's closely connected to how we feel about ourselves, how we communicate with our partners and whether we're living a life that still brings us purpose and joy.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Understanding Depression, Medication and Sexual Health

What Is Depression?

Depression is more than simply feeling sad. It can affect motivation, confidence, energy levels, sleep, relationships and sexual desire. Life transitions such as retirement, bereavement or health problems can increase the risk of depression later in life.

Why Can Antidepressants Affect Your Sex Life?

Some antidepressants—particularly SSRIs—can reduce libido, delay orgasm or contribute to erectile dysfunction. However, not every medication has the same side effects, and different treatment options may be available depending on your circumstances.

What Are the Common Signs?

Reduced interest in sex

Difficulty getting or maintaining an erection

Lower libido

Fatigue and lack of motivation

Changes in mood and confidence

Withdrawal from relationships and social activities

What Can People Do About It?

If you're experiencing changes in your mental health or sex life, don't assume you have to live with them. Speak openly with your GP or specialist about your symptoms, including any impact on intimacy. Medication reviews, psychological support, regular exercise, meaningful activities and honest communication with your partner can all play an important role in improving both emotional wellbeing and sexual satisfaction.

Key Takeaways

Depression often affects sexual desire as much as mood.

Retirement and loss of purpose can significantly impact mental wellbeing.

Some antidepressants affect sexual function more than others.

Erectile dysfunction isn't necessarily a sign of lost attraction.

Open communication helps couples navigate changes together.

Women experience significant emotional and physical changes during menopause.

Exercise and meaningful activities can improve both mood and libido.

Tell your doctor if maintaining an active sex life is important to you.

Mental and sexual health should be treated together, not separately.

Seeking help early can prevent problems from becoming entrenched.

About the Guest

Dr. Karen Stewart is a clinical psychologist based in Los Angeles who specialises in relationships, couples therapy, dating and sexual wellbeing. Working with clients across different stages of life, she helps individuals and couples navigate depression, anxiety, relationship challenges and intimacy issues with practical, evidence-based strategies. Her work focuses on improving communication, strengthening emotional connection and supporting healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

·      Bonus Live: A Marriage, a Breakdown, and a Sexual Awakening - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-sex-advice-6c7

·      Bonus Live: You Are Not Broken: A Trauma Recovery Conversation - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-with-erika

·      Dating After Loss: Redefining Love and Intimacy After Widowhood - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/sex-grief-and-starting-over-dating

Why women's pain is often taken more seriously than their pleasure—and how that affects healthcare throughout life.

How outdated beliefs about older women's sexuality can prevent them from receiving the treatment they need.

Why menopause can be the beginning of a richer, more confident sex life rather than the end of one.

What Suzannah learned while researching women's sexual health, objectification and pleasure for her latest books.

How poor sex education continues to shape women's expectations of pain, intimacy and relationships.

Why consent, boundaries and sexual confidence are skills that can be learned at any age.

What happens inside sex-positive communities—and why empowerment and objectification aren't always the same thing.

Practical ways women can advocate for themselves when healthcare professionals dismiss their symptoms.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:30 Why Women's Pain Has Been Normalised

05:45 Older Women, Menopause and Sexuality

08:40 Why Women's Health Is Still Under-Researched

11:00 Subjectified: From Objectification to Empowerment

15:20 Sex Clubs, Consent and Female Agency

20:00 Boundaries, Sexual Confidence and Saying No

24:50 Better Sex After Menopause

27:00 Advocating for Yourself in Healthcare

29:00 Final Thoughts

Show Notes

Why are women taught to expect pain, but rarely taught to expect pleasure?

From our very first periods to childbirth, menopause and beyond, many women grow up hearing that discomfort is simply part of being female. Yet when pain becomes normalised, something else often gets overlooked: our right to pleasure, satisfying relationships and healthcare that takes our concerns seriously.

In this episode, I'm joined by writer, sexologist and psychotherapist Suzannah Weiss, whose latest book Eve's Blessing explores how cultural attitudes towards women's bodies continue to shape everything from medical care to sexual confidence. Together, we discuss why older women are so often treated as though sexuality no longer matters, despite research showing that many experience greater confidence and more fulfilling intimacy after menopause.

Our conversation also explores objectification, consent and sexual empowerment. Suzannah shares what she learned through her own experiences in sex-positive communities, explaining why being seen as desirable isn't the same as having your own desires recognised and respected.

Perhaps what stayed with me most is how often women have to advocate for themselves. Whether it's asking for treatment, seeking a second medical opinion or simply trusting that persistent pain isn't something they should have to tolerate, meaningful change often begins with believing that our experiences matter.

Because ageing doesn't make us less deserving of pleasure, better healthcare or fulfilling relationships. If anything, it gives us more reason to expect them.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

Women's pain is still frequently under-recognised in healthcare.

Older women deserve the same attention to their sexual wellbeing as anyone else.

Menopause can be an opportunity to rediscover intimacy and confidence.

Pleasure is an important part of health, not a luxury.

Consent and boundaries become easier with confidence and experience.

Healthcare professionals don't always have all the answers—second opinions matter.

Pelvic floor therapy and vaginal oestrogen can improve quality of life for many women.

Good communication is essential for satisfying intimacy at every age.

Sexual empowerment is about understanding your own desires, not simply being desired.

It's never too late to advocate for your health or your pleasure.

About the Guest

Suzannah Weiss is a psychotherapist, certified sexologist, marriage and family therapist, and award-winning writer who has published more than 9,000 articles on relationships, sexuality and women's health. She is the author of Eve's Blessing, which explores the relationship between women's pain, pleasure and healthcare, and Subjectified, a memoir examining sexual empowerment, objectification and consent. Alongside her writing, Suzannah provides psychotherapy and sex coaching, helping people build healthier, more fulfilling intimate lives.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

·      Bonus Live: What Jealousy is Really Trying to Tell You - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-and-joli

·      The Truth about Sex we were Rarely Taught - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-truth-about-sex-no-one-taught

·      Desire Doesn't Retire: The Secret Sex Lives of People Over 60 - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/getting-down-and-dirty-with-kathy

Can Monogamy Evolve Into Open Relationships?

What I Discussed With Dr. Tammy Nelson…

Why monogamy isn't simply "open" or "closed"—and how every couple creates their own relationship agreement.

How relationships naturally evolve over time, and why regular conversations can prevent resentment from building.

Why talking about fantasies doesn't necessarily mean you want to act on them.

How changing life stages, retirement and ageing can shift what we want from love, sex and partnership.

Why jealousy is often about much more than sex—and what it can reveal about unmet emotional needs.

How transparency, rather than rigid rules, creates stronger and more resilient relationships.

Why appreciation and kindness may be the most underrated relationship skills of all.

How to begin difficult conversations about commitment without fear or blame.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:45 What Is Open Monogamy?

05:10 Why Relationship Agreements Need to Evolve

08:20 Suzanne's Own Relationship Story

11:45 Fantasies, Curiosity and Communication

13:30 Open Monogamy vs Polyamory

17:45 Defining Monogamy on Your Own Terms

20:00 Understanding Jealousy

27:10 Appreciating What Already Works

30:30 Creating Conscious Relationships

33:00 Free Relationship Resources

Show Notes

What does commitment actually mean after decades together?

Most of us inherit ideas about relationships without ever questioning where they came from. We assume monogamy has one definition, that commitment should look a certain way, and that if our needs change over time, something must be wrong with the relationship itself.

But life has a habit of changing us. We retire. Our bodies change. Children leave home. We have more freedom, different priorities and, sometimes, new questions about intimacy and connection. Perhaps the real challenge isn't staying the same, but learning how to grow together without losing sight of each other.

In this episode, I'm joined by relationship therapist and author Dr. Tammy Nelson, whose book Open Monogamy encourages couples to rethink the assumptions they've inherited about love, fidelity and commitment. Rather than promoting one type of relationship over another, Tammy invites us to become more intentional about the agreements we make with the people we love.

As we talk, I find myself reflecting on my own relationship and how even small shifts can leave us wondering whether it's time for a new conversation. We explore why fantasies don't always need to become reality, how jealousy can point us towards unmet needs rather than failures, and why honesty, appreciation and kindness often matter far more than any particular relationship label.

Perhaps there's no such thing as the perfect relationship model. There are only relationships that continue to evolve because the people in them are willing to keep talking, listening and adapting together.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

Every couple defines monogamy differently.

Relationships benefit from regular conversations rather than assumptions.

Fantasies can strengthen intimacy without becoming reality.

Jealousy often highlights emotional needs rather than sexual ones.

Transparency builds stronger relationships than rigid rules.

Kindness and appreciation help couples navigate difficult conversations.

Relationship agreements can evolve as people change.

Honest communication reduces the likelihood of betrayal.

There is no single "correct" model of commitment.

Healthy relationships are built through ongoing curiosity and mutual respect.

About the Guest

Dr. Tammy Nelson is a licensed psychotherapist, certified sex and relationship therapist, speaker and bestselling author with more than 30 years of clinical experience. She is the founder and Executive Director of the Integrative Sex Therapy Institute and has written several influential books, including The New Monogamy and Open Monogamy. Through her clinical work, teaching and writing, Tammy helps individuals and couples build healthier, more conscious relationships by encouraging honest communication, emotional transparency and relationship agreements that reflect their own values rather than societal expectations.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

·      Bonus Live: The Relationship Lesson That Ends So Much Conflict - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/bonus-live-the-relationship-lesson

·      Why Long-Term Couples Drift Apart—and the Simple Habit That Brings Them Back - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-couples-lose-the-spark-and-how

·      Recovering from Infidelity after 50: What nobody tells you about Betrayal - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/recovering-from-infidelity-after

Does Intimacy and Sex Evolve in Your 80s?

What I Discussed With Dr. Susan Campbell…

Why dating after 70 isn't about following old relationship rules—and how creating your own relationship can be incredibly liberating.

How one couple found lasting love in their seventies and discovered that intimacy continued to evolve well into their eighties.

Why great sex later in life often has less to do with penetration and more to do with creativity, playfulness and emotional connection.

How scheduling intimacy, embracing humour and adapting to physical changes can strengthen long-term relationships.

Why older couples shouldn't be afraid to explore mirrors, role play, sensual touch and other forms of intimacy.

How online dating can help build confidence, resilience and self-awareness—even if it doesn't lead to a lasting relationship.

Why vulnerability, self-compassion and honest conversations become even more important as our bodies and relationships change.

How loss, ageing and changing abilities don't have to mean giving up on love, pleasure or connection.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

02:00 Finding Love Online in Your Seventies

05:00 Why Sex Changes Between 80 and 84

08:00 Designing Relationships That Work Later in Life

10:30 Dating After Loss and Building Confidence Again

16:00 Better Orgasms in Your Eighties?

19:30 Mirrors, Playfulness and Rediscovering Desire

24:00 Why Scheduling Intimacy Works

27:00 Beyond Penetration: Expanding Your Definition of Sex

31:00 Role Play, Fantasy and Erotic Creativity

35:00 Living With Loss, Vulnerability and Deep Intimacy

39:00 Final Thoughts

Show Notes

What does a fulfilling sex life look like when you're in your eighties?

For many of us, it's a question we rarely ask. We tend to assume that intimacy naturally fades with age, or that physical changes eventually make sex impossible. Yet perhaps the problem isn't our bodies—it's our expectations. If we continue measuring intimacy by what we could do decades ago, we risk overlooking everything that's still possible today.

In this episode, I'm joined by psychologist, relationship coach and bestselling author Dr. Susan Campbell, who offers a refreshingly honest perspective drawn not only from decades of professional experience but also from her own relationship. Together with her partner, whom she met through online dating in her seventies, Susan has discovered that intimacy doesn't disappear as we age—it simply asks us to become more curious, more adaptable and, perhaps, a little more playful.

Rather than mourning what has changed, we explore what can be gained. From scheduling intimacy and laughing through awkward moments to discovering new ways of giving and receiving pleasure, Susan reminds us that satisfying relationships are built on far more than physical performance. They thrive on communication, creativity and the willingness to keep learning about ourselves and each other.

What stayed with me most was Susan's honesty about ageing. She doesn't pretend that growing older is easy. Bodies change, health changes and sometimes our partners change too. But intimacy isn't about pretending those realities don't exist—it's about facing them together with compassion, humour and love.

Because perhaps the greatest gift of growing older is not knowing exactly how everything will change, but discovering that connection can deepen in ways we never expected.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

Intimacy can continue to grow well into our eighties.

Great sex doesn't have to include penetration.

Creativity and playfulness often become more important with age.

Scheduling intimacy can help couples stay connected.

Online dating can be a valuable way to build confidence later in life.

Honest conversations strengthen relationships through every stage of ageing.

Humour helps couples adapt to physical changes.

Vulnerability can deepen emotional and sexual intimacy.

Self-compassion is essential when facing the losses that come with ageing.

Every couple has the freedom to redefine what a satisfying relationship looks like.

About the Guest

Dr. Susan Campbell is a psychologist, relationship coach and bestselling author of eleven books on communication, intimacy and personal growth, including Getting Real, The Couple's Journey, Truth in Dating and From Triggered to Tranquil. For decades, she has helped individuals and couples build healthier, more authentic relationships through honest communication and emotional awareness. Now in her eighties, Susan combines her professional expertise with her own lived experience of finding love later in life, offering a rare and inspiring perspective on intimacy, ageing and lifelong personal growth.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

·      Bonus Live: What Later-Life Sexual Awakening Really Looks Like - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-and-indigo

·      Bonus Live: Does Pleasure Really Get Better With Age? - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-and-avivah

·      Desire Doesn't Retire: The Secret Sex Lives of People Over 60 - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/getting-down-and-dirty-with-kathy

Is It Possible to Reclaim Pleasure Despite the Beliefs You’ve Been Taught?

What I Discussed With Lauren Elise Rogers…

How the beliefs we absorbed about sex in childhood can quietly shape our relationships for decades without us even realising it.

Why "weeding your sexual garden" can help you identify outdated ideas about intimacy, pleasure and relationships that no longer serve you.

How moving through different stages of life can completely change what sex, connection and desire mean to us.

Why pleasure isn't selfish—and how many of us have unknowingly prioritised everything else above our own intimacy.

How religious, cultural and family messages can influence our sexual confidence long into adulthood.

Why many empty nesters discover they no longer know—or even like—their partner, and what they can do about it.

How understanding your own sexual values can lead to more satisfying relationships later in life, whether you're partnered or single.

Why informed choices—not shame or fear—are the foundation of a healthy, fulfilling sex life at any age.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:10 What Does It Mean to Weed Your Sexual Garden?

03:00 The Childhood Beliefs That Shape Adult Relationships

07:00 Suzanne Reflects on Her Own Sexual Journey

12:00 Lauren's Story: From Purity Culture to Sex Education

18:00 Parenting, Relationships and Pleasure

22:00 Why Great Sex Starts with Liking Your Partner

25:00 Pleasure, Religion and Cultural Conditioning

28:00 What Research Says About Thriving Sex Lives After 60

30:00 Informed Decision-Making and Sexual Values

32:00 Final Reflections

Show Notes

Where did your beliefs about sex actually come from?

Most of us assume our attitudes towards intimacy, pleasure and relationships are simply part of who we are. But if we stop and look a little more closely, many of those beliefs were planted long before we ever had the chance to decide whether they truly reflected our own values.

In this episode, I'm joined by certified holistic sexuality educator and relationship coach Lauren Elise Rogers, who invites us to think about our intimate lives in a completely different way. Using the metaphor of a "sexual belief garden", Lauren explains how our childhood, family, religion and culture can all leave lasting impressions that continue to shape our relationships well into later life.

As we explore the exercise together, I find myself reflecting on my own experiences of growing up across different countries and cultures, and how those experiences influenced the way I approached relationships, belonging and sex. Lauren also shares her deeply personal journey from growing up in a strict evangelical community to becoming a sexuality educator who now helps others question inherited beliefs without shame.

What I loved most about this conversation is that it isn't about telling anyone how they should live. It's about giving ourselves permission to ask better questions. Which beliefs still serve us? Which ones no longer fit? And how might our relationships change if we made choices based on our own values rather than someone else's expectations?

Because perhaps the healthiest sexual relationship we can have isn't the one that follows the rules we've inherited—it's the one we choose consciously for ourselves.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

Many sexual beliefs are inherited rather than consciously chosen.

Childhood, family and culture all influence how we experience intimacy.

It's never too late to rethink beliefs that no longer serve you.

Pleasure and desire deserve the same attention as other areas of wellbeing.

Strong relationships require ongoing reflection and communication.

Empty nesters often need to reconnect as partners, not just parents.

Great sex starts with understanding your own values.

Shame can prevent people from exploring healthy intimacy.

There is no single "right" way to experience sexuality.

Informed decision-making leads to healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

About the Guest

Lauren Elise Rogers is a certified holistic sexuality educator, embodied intimacy and relationship coach, and founder of SexEd4U. After growing up in a strict evangelical environment that shaped her early beliefs about sex and relationships, Lauren embarked on a personal journey of healing and education that transformed both her life and career. Today, she works with individuals and couples around the world, helping them challenge inherited beliefs, embrace sex-positive values and make intentional, informed choices about intimacy, pleasure and relationships throughout every stage of life.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

·      The Truth about Sex we were Rarely Taught - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-truth-about-sex-no-one-taught

·      The Lie Women Were Taught About Sex and Marriage - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-lie-women-were-taught-about-sex

From Style to Sensuality: Sarah Ward on Reclaiming Pleasure and Shedding Shame - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/from-style-to-sensuality-sarah-ward

What I Discussed With Angela Burk…

- Why so many women spend decades putting everyone else's needs before their own—and what happens when they finally stop.

- How divorce became the unexpected catalyst for Angela's journey of sexual self-discovery and self-pleasure.

- Why understanding your own body is the first step towards having better sex with a partner.

- How shame, silence and lack of sex education have left many women over 50 disconnected from pleasure.

- Why finding a safe, communicative partner can completely transform your experience of intimacy.

- How conversations about menopause, libido and sexual health are finally becoming more open—and why we still have a long way to go.

- Why women should never accept being dismissed when they seek help for changes in their sexual health.

- How reclaiming pleasure can become part of reclaiming yourself in midlife and beyond.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:10 Why Angela Started The Real Girl's Guide to Over 55

04:30 What Is the Pleasure Pivot?

08:00 Divorce, Self-Pleasure and Discovering What You Like

14:00 Learning from Previous Generations

16:00 Exploring Pleasure with a New Partner

19:00 Why Women Over 50 Are Reclaiming Themselves

22:00 Why Does Society Stop Talking About Women After 60?

27:00 Advocating for Better Menopause and Sexual Healthcare

32:00 Why Pleasure Doesn't Have an Expiration Date

34:00 Angela's New Book

Show Notes

At what point do we stop living for everyone else and start paying attention to ourselves?

For many women, that question doesn't arrive until midlife. After years spent building careers, raising children, supporting partners and meeting everyone else's expectations, there comes a moment when we realise we've quietly disappeared from our own list of priorities.

In this episode, I'm joined by writer and Substack creator Angela Burk, whose idea of a "pleasure pivot" perfectly captures what so many women experience after 50. Rather than seeing ageing as a time of decline, Angela describes it as an opportunity to rediscover the parts of ourselves that may have been neglected for years—including our sexuality.

As we talk, Angela shares her remarkably honest journey of discovering self-pleasure after divorce, learning what her own body enjoyed for the first time, and finding a relationship where curiosity, communication and mutual pleasure became just as important as love itself. We also reflect on why so many women of our generation were never taught to understand their own bodies, and why those conversations are only now beginning to happen openly.

Perhaps what stayed with me most is the idea that pleasure isn't something we earn once every other responsibility has been fulfilled. It's part of living well. And whether we're in our fifties, sixties or beyond, it's never too late to ask for more—from our relationships, our healthcare or ourselves.

Because reclaiming pleasure isn't simply about better sex. Sometimes it's the beginning of reclaiming your whole life.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- Putting yourself first isn't selfish—it's essential for wellbeing.

- Many women don't discover what truly pleases them until midlife.

- Understanding your own body makes communication with a partner much easier.

- Shame and silence continue to influence women's sexual confidence.

- A supportive partner creates space for exploration and honesty.

- Libido changes don't mean your sex life has to end.

- Women deserve healthcare professionals who take sexual wellbeing seriously.

- If one doctor dismisses your concerns, seek another opinion.

- Open conversations help normalise women's experiences of ageing.

- Pleasure has no age limit.

About the Guest

Angela Burk is the creator of the Substack newsletter The Real Girl's Guide to Over 55, where she writes candidly about midlife, reinvention, relationships and the emotional and physical changes that accompany ageing. After retiring from her corporate career, Angela revisited a book idea she first conceived decades earlier and began documenting her own experiences of reclaiming pleasure, confidence and identity after divorce. Through her writing, she encourages women to embrace curiosity, advocate for themselves and challenge outdated ideas about what life after 50 should look like.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

Bonus Live: Why Self-Pleasure Might Be a Menopause Superpower - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-and-marie

Bonus Live: What Great Sex Looks Like After 50 - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-sex-advice-738

Desire Doesn't Retire: The Secret Sex Lives of People Over 60 - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/getting-down-and-dirty-with-kathy