Sex Advice for Seniors Podcast

Why asking for what you want in bed feels so difficult—and why it's a skill anyone can learn.

How shame, conditioning and purity culture continue to shape our sex lives well into adulthood.

Why a lack of desire in long-term relationships is often about much more than hormones.

How simple tools like a "Yes, No, Maybe" list can help couples have honest conversations about intimacy.

Why rejection doesn't always mean incompatibility—and how curiosity can replace fear.

How fantasy, role play and imagination can help couples explore new desires without stepping outside their comfort zone.

Why understanding your erotic blueprint could completely change the way you think about intimacy.

How taking small, manageable risks can lead to deeper trust, confidence and better sex.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

02:45 Why So Many Couples Stop Talking About Sex

06:45 Why Asking for What You Want Feels So Scary

10:15 The "Yes, No, Maybe" Checklist

13:30 Shame, Desire and Sexual Conditioning

18:45 Expanding Your Comfort Zone

22:00 Talking About Fantasies Without Pressure

25:45 Understanding the Erotic Blueprints

31:00 Finding Middle Ground in Your Sex Life

35:30 Final Thoughts

Show Notes

How often do we expect our partner to know what we want without ever saying it out loud?

For many couples, the hardest part of intimacy isn't the sex itself—it's finding the words. We worry about rejection, embarrassment or being judged, so instead we stay silent and hope our partner somehow reads our mind. Unsurprisingly, that rarely ends well.

In this episode, I'm joined by certified sexologist and sex coach Sarah Ward, who believes that better sex begins with better conversations. Together we explore why asking for what we want can feel so vulnerable, particularly in long-term relationships where patterns, assumptions and unspoken disappointments have had years to settle in.

Rather than focusing on techniques, we talk about the foundations of intimacy: emotional safety, curiosity and honest communication. Sarah shares practical ways to start conversations about desire, including using a "Yes, No, Maybe" checklist, understanding your erotic blueprint and introducing fantasies in ways that feel playful rather than intimidating. We also discuss why hormones are only one piece of the puzzle, and why shame and lifelong conditioning often play a much bigger role than we realise.

What I love about this conversation is that it isn't about becoming someone different or trying to be more adventurous for the sake of it. It's about discovering what genuinely feels right for you—and giving your partner the opportunity to know the real you.

Because nobody can give us what we want if they never know what that is.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

Honest conversations are the foundation of satisfying intimacy.

Desire often fades because communication fades—not simply because of hormones.

Asking for what you want becomes easier with practice.

Shame can prevent people from expressing perfectly healthy desires.

The "Yes, No, Maybe" checklist helps couples explore boundaries safely.

Fantasies don't always need to become reality to enhance intimacy.

Emotional safety encourages openness and vulnerability.

Erotic Blueprints can help people better understand desire.

Small conversations often lead to significant changes over time.

Curiosity creates stronger relationships than assumptions.

About the Guest

Sarah Ward is a certified sexologist, Somatica-trained sex coach and writer who helps individuals and couples build more fulfilling intimate relationships through communication, emotional safety and self-understanding. Before moving into sexual wellbeing, Sarah spent a decade working as a wardrobe stylist, helping clients feel confident in what they wore. Today, she focuses on helping people feel just as confident without their clothes, combining practical coaching with thoughtful writing on relationships, desire and modern intimacy through her Substack community.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

·      The Surprising 69% of Women Unhappy in Sex... and How to Fix It - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-surprising-69-of-women-unhappy

·      The Truth about Sex we were Rarely Taught - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-truth-about-sex-no-one-taught

·      The Simple Practice That Brought Intimacy Back After 20 Years - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-waiting-to-feel-in-the-mood-doesnt

Why growing older doesn't mean giving up on intimacy—and what actually changes as our bodies age.

How common medications, including statins, antidepressants and blood pressure tablets, can quietly affect libido and sexual function.

Why emotional intimacy and communication become even more important when physical changes affect sex.

How simple adaptations, from lubricants to positioning aids, can help couples continue enjoying fulfilling intimacy.

Why hormone changes affect men and women differently—and when hormone replacement therapy may help.

How sexually transmitted infections are rising among older adults, and why many people still underestimate the risk.

Why healthcare professionals often overlook sexual wellbeing in later life—and how to advocate for yourself.

How outdated beliefs about ageing continue to stop many people seeking help for sexual concerns.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:20 Why Dr Rebecca Lahann Studied Ageing and Sexuality

04:00 Medications That Affect Your Sex Life

06:30 The Biggest Myth About Older Adults and Sex

09:00 Why Libido Is More Than Hormones

11:00 Adapting Intimacy to Physical Changes

14:20 Hormones, Menopause and Ageing in Men

20:00 Why More Older Adults Are Getting STIs

25:30 Sexuality, LGBTQ+ Ageing and Authentic Relationships

30:00 Why Better Education Could Transform Sexual Health Later in Life

Show Notes

What if one of the biggest myths about ageing is that our interest in sex simply disappears?

It's an assumption many of us have absorbed without ever questioning it. If our bodies begin to change, we often assume intimacy must inevitably fade too. But perhaps the real issue isn't ageing itself—it's the lack of honest conversations about what ageing actually does to our bodies, our relationships and our expectations.

In this episode, I'm joined by psychologist and certified sex therapist Dr. Rebecca Lahann, whose extensive work with older adults inspired her to create a comprehensive educational programme on ageing and sexuality. Together we explore the many physical, emotional and psychological factors that influence intimacy later in life, from medications and hormone changes to body image, chronic pain and changing relationship dynamics.

What I particularly appreciated about this conversation is that it doesn't present ageing as a problem to solve. Instead, it encourages us to become more curious about our changing bodies and more willing to adapt. We discuss why communication often matters more than physical ability, how simple adjustments can make a remarkable difference to comfort and pleasure, and why many sexual difficulties have practical solutions that too few people are ever told about.

Above all, this episode is a reminder that sexual wellbeing is part of healthy ageing. The more informed we are—and the more confident we become in asking questions—the more opportunities we have to continue enjoying intimacy throughout our lives.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Understanding Sex and Healthy Ageing

What Changes as We Age?

Ageing can affect hormones, circulation, mobility, nerve sensitivity, lubrication, erectile function and energy levels. Chronic health conditions, medications and body image can also influence desire and sexual confidence. These changes are common, but they don't mean intimacy has to end.

Why Do These Changes Happen?

Natural hormonal changes occur in both men and women over time, while conditions such as cardiovascular disease, arthritis, diabetes and chronic pain can also affect sexual function. In addition, many commonly prescribed medications have side effects that influence libido, arousal or orgasm.

What Are the Common Signs?

Lower libido

Vaginal dryness or discomfort during sex

Difficulty achieving or maintaining erections

Slower arousal or orgasm

Changes in body confidence

Pain during intimacy

Fatigue and reduced energy

Anxiety about sexual performance

What Can People Do About It?

Talk openly with your GP or specialist if changes in your health or medication are affecting your sex life. Review your medications where appropriate, discuss hormone replacement therapy if suitable, and explore practical adaptations such as lubricants, positioning aids and new ways of experiencing intimacy. Most importantly, continue talking with your partner, because emotional connection and flexibility often become even more valuable as we age.

Key Takeaways

Sexuality remains an important part of wellbeing throughout later life.

Many medications can affect libido and sexual function.

Hormones are only one factor influencing desire.

Communication is essential when physical needs change.

Simple adaptations can make sex more comfortable and enjoyable.

Older adults should continue protecting themselves from sexually transmitted infections.

Healthcare professionals don't always ask about sexual wellbeing—sometimes you need to start the conversation.

Emotional intimacy often becomes more important than performance.

There is no single definition of a healthy sex life.

Ageing doesn't end intimacy—it often invites us to redefine it.

About the Guest

Dr. Rebecca Lahann is a licensed psychologist, certified sex therapist and specialist in geropsychology, with extensive experience supporting older adults living with chronic pain, illness, mobility challenges and changes in sexual health. Her work combines psychology, sexual medicine and relationship counselling to help individuals and couples adapt to the physical and emotional realities of ageing while maintaining intimacy and connection. She also provides professional education for therapists and healthcare providers on sexuality across the lifespan.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

·      Bonus Live: What Great Sex Looks Like After 50 - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-sex-advice-738

·      Bonus Live: What Later-Life Sexual Awakening Really Looks Like - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-and-indigo

·      Desire Doesn't Retire: The Secret Sex Lives of People Over 60 - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/getting-down-and-dirty-with-kathy

What I Discussed With Michelle Jermy…

- Why low libido is rarely "just hormones" and why relationships, stress and emotional wellbeing matter just as much.

- How healthcare professionals can ask better questions about women's sexual health instead of focusing only on symptoms.

- Why so many women continue having unwanted or uncomfortable sex to avoid conflict or disappointing their partner.

- How pain during sex, menopause and trauma can quietly erode sexual desire over time.

- Why understanding your own body is essential before expecting a partner to understand it.

- How a new clinical toolkit could transform the way doctors, nurses and therapists support women with sexual concerns.

- Why women should feel empowered to ask questions, advocate for themselves and seek second opinions when necessary.

- How expanding our definition of sex beyond penetration can improve intimacy and reduce pressure.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:20 Michelle's New Research on Women's Sexual Health

03:00 Why Low Libido Is More Than Hormones

07:00 The Questions Doctors Aren't Asking

11:00 Why Women's Sexual Concerns Are Often Overlooked

15:00 Helping Patients Advocate for Themselves

18:00 Creating Better Clinical Pathways for Sexual Health

22:00 Why Sex Is About More Than Penetration

26:00 Michelle's New Clinical Toolkit

29:00 Looking Ahead

Show Notes

When women say they've lost their libido, are we asking the right questions?

It's easy to assume that a change in sexual desire is simply a hormonal issue, particularly during menopause. But while hormones certainly play a role, they're only one piece of a much bigger picture. Relationships, emotional wellbeing, stress, pain, trauma, body confidence and even the quality of our sleep can all influence how we experience intimacy.

In this episode, I'm joined once again by psychotherapist and psychosexual therapist Michelle Jermy, whose work focuses on helping healthcare professionals feel more confident talking about women's sexual wellbeing. Rather than simply treating symptoms, Michelle believes we need to understand the person sitting in front of us—and ask questions that many clinicians currently avoid.

We explore why women often feel pressure to prioritise their partner's needs, why pain and low desire are frequently dismissed, and why so many patients leave appointments without the support they were hoping for. Michelle also shares details of an exciting research project aimed at developing a practical toolkit that could help clinicians identify not only medical causes of sexual difficulties, but also the emotional and relational factors that are often overlooked.

Perhaps the most important message is that sexual wellbeing isn't a luxury or an optional extra. It's part of our overall health. And the more openly we can talk about it—in clinics, in relationships and with ourselves—the more likely we are to receive the care and understanding we deserve.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Understanding Low Libido in Women

What Is Low Libido?

Low libido describes a persistent reduction in sexual desire that causes concern or affects a person's wellbeing or relationships. It isn't simply about how often someone wants sex, but whether that change feels significant to them.

Why Does It Happen?

Low libido is often influenced by a combination of physical, emotional and relational factors. Hormonal changes during perimenopause and menopause can contribute, but so can poor sleep, stress, pain during sex, medication, relationship difficulties, trauma and mental health.

What Are the Common Signs?

- Reduced interest in sexual activity

- Difficulty becoming aroused

- Pain or discomfort during intimacy

- Avoiding sex altogether

- Feeling pressure to have sex despite not wanting it

- Feeling disconnected from your own desires

- Relationship tension linked to intimacy

What Can People Do About It?

Start by speaking with a healthcare professional who is willing to explore the full picture—not just hormone levels. Consider physical factors such as vaginal dryness or medication side effects, but also reflect on relationship satisfaction, emotional wellbeing, stress and your own understanding of pleasure. If necessary, seek support from a psychosexual therapist, pelvic health specialist or menopause clinician who takes a holistic approach to sexual wellbeing.

Key Takeaways

- Low libido is influenced by much more than hormones.

- Emotional wellbeing and relationship quality have a significant impact on sexual desire.

- Many women continue having sex out of obligation rather than pleasure.

- Healthcare professionals need better training in discussing sexual wellbeing.

- Understanding your own body makes communication with a partner much easier.

- Women deserve to have concerns about pain and desire taken seriously.

- Sexual health assessments should include emotional and relational questions.

- Expanding our definition of sex can reduce pressure and increase intimacy.

- Seeking a second opinion is worthwhile if your concerns are dismissed.

- Better conversations lead to better care.

About the Guest

Michelle Jermy is a psychotherapist, psychosexual therapist and founder of The Yoni Therapist. She specialises in supporting women experiencing low libido, painful sex, menopause-related sexual changes and relationship difficulties, while also working with healthcare professionals to improve conversations around sexual wellbeing. Alongside her clinical practice, Michelle is developing a research project and practical assessment toolkit designed to help clinicians recognise the biological, psychological and relational factors that influence women's sexual health.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

Bonus Live: Why Sex Stops Working When We Stay in Our Heads - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/bonus-live-why-sex-stops-working

Bonus Live: Your body isn’t broken — it’s just done performing. - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-w-amara-charles

Why Women Feel Completely Different After Menopause | Tanya Leake - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-women-feel-completely-different

What I Discussed With Sabrina Baldini…

- Why ADHD can influence desire, attention and intimacy in ways that many people—and even healthcare professionals—rarely discuss.

- How the ADHD brain's need for novelty can shape long-term relationships without necessarily requiring new partners.

- Why role play, power dynamics and creativity can help some neurodivergent people stay sexually engaged.

- How hyperfocus can be both a strength and a challenge during sex and intimate relationships.

- Why rejection, criticism and "getting it wrong" can feel especially intense for people with ADHD.

- How redefining sex beyond penetration opens up more opportunities for pleasure, playfulness and connection.

- Why understanding your own sexual needs is more valuable than simply accepting a diagnosis.

- How communication, curiosity and experimentation can help couples navigate different desire styles.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:40 Why ADHD and Sex Are Rarely Discussed

05:00 Sabrina's ADHD Diagnosis During COVID

08:00 Hyperfocus, Dopamine and Sexual Desire

10:30 Why Novelty Matters in Long-Term Relationships

13:00 Power Dynamics, Kink and ADHD

17:00 Hyperfocus During Sex: Helpful or Harmful?

21:00 Rejection Sensitivity and Relationships

26:00 Why Creativity Keeps Desire Alive

30:00 Redefining What Sex Really Means

33:30 Final Thoughts

Show Notes

What if one of the biggest missing conversations about ADHD isn't about work, school or organisation—but about sex?

When most people think about ADHD, they picture distraction, forgetfulness or difficulty concentrating. Yet our brains influence far more than our ability to stay on task. They shape how we experience desire, respond to novelty, manage rejection and connect with the people we love.

In this episode, I'm joined by sex educator Sabrina Baldini, who recently explored the fascinating relationship between ADHD and sexuality. Drawing on both her professional expertise and her own experience of being diagnosed with ADHD, Sabrina explains why many neurodivergent people experience intimacy differently—and why those differences are rarely acknowledged in conversations about sexual health.

Rather than seeing ADHD as something that needs fixing, we explore how understanding your brain can help you better understand your relationships. We discuss why novelty can be so important, how hyperfocus can sometimes enhance intimacy while at other times create unexpected challenges, and why communication is often more valuable than trying to fit into someone else's idea of a "normal" sex life.

Perhaps what I enjoyed most is that this conversation isn't really about labels. It's about recognising that every relationship is different, every brain is different, and great intimacy often comes from understanding those differences rather than trying to eliminate them.

Because the more curious we become about ourselves, the easier it becomes to build relationships that genuinely work for us.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- ADHD can influence sexual desire, attention and intimacy.

- Novelty doesn't have to mean new partners—it can simply mean new experiences together.

- Hyperfocus can enhance pleasure but may also create unexpected challenges.

- Rejection sensitivity can affect both relationships and sexual confidence.

- Kink and role play can provide structure and creativity that some ADHD brains find rewarding.

- Communication is more effective than making assumptions about desire.

- Sex is much broader than penetration alone.

- Every relationship benefits from creativity and playfulness.

- Understanding your own needs helps you communicate them more effectively.

- Neurodivergence isn't something to "fix"—it's something to understand.

About the Guest

Sabrina Baldini is a Canadian sex educator, TEDx speaker and digital content creator who specialises in sexual health education for young adults. Through her workshops, university teaching and online platforms, she explores topics ranging from consent and relationships to neurodiversity and sexual wellbeing. Drawing on her own experience of living with ADHD, Sabrina combines evidence-informed education with practical, accessible advice that encourages people to approach sexuality with curiosity rather than shame.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

Bonus Live: Why Sex Stops Working When We Stay in Our Heads - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/bonus-live-why-sex-stops-working

Bonus Live: Your body isn’t broken — it’s just done performing. - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-w-amara-charles

Bonus Live: You Are Not Broken: A Trauma Recovery Conversation - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-with-erika

What I Discussed With Luna Matatas…

- What pegging actually is—and why more couples are becoming curious about exploring it together.

- Why communication and trust matter far more than confidence or experience when trying anal play for the first time.

- How to prepare safely for pegging, including training, lubrication and avoiding common beginner mistakes.

- Why many heterosexual men are discovering new forms of pleasure by challenging traditional ideas about masculinity.

- How power dynamics, submission and role reversal can be explored without changing your identity or sexual orientation.

- Why porn often creates unrealistic expectations about anal sex—and what real-life experiences actually look like.

- How aftercare helps partners process both the physical and emotional side of trying something new.

- Why staying curious rather than judgemental can lead to a richer, more adventurous sex life.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:30 What Is Pegging?

03:00 Why More Men Are Curious About Anal Pleasure

05:00 Preparing Safely for Anal Play

09:00 Power Dynamics, Pleasure and Role Reversal

13:30 Talking to Your Partner About Pegging

15:00 Choosing the Right Harness, Toys and Lubricants

19:00 Common Beginner Mistakes

22:30 Aftercare and Emotional Connection

28:00 How Pegging Is Changing Conversations About Masculinity

32:00 Final Thoughts

Show Notes

There are some sexual topics that still make people lower their voices, laugh nervously or wonder whether they're "allowed" to be curious. Pegging is probably one of them.

But what if we could replace embarrassment with honest conversation?

In this episode, I'm joined by sex and pleasure educator Luna Matatas, who has spent more than 15 years helping people explore intimacy without shame. Together we unpack one of the most misunderstood areas of sexuality and discover that, for many people, pegging isn't simply about anal play. It's about trust, communication, vulnerability and challenging long-held assumptions about pleasure and gender roles.

Rather than treating pegging as something shocking or taboo, Luna explains why preparation, patience and open communication are far more important than bravado. We also discuss why more men are becoming curious about prostate stimulation, how couples can introduce new fantasies without creating pressure, and why aftercare is just as important as the experience itself.

What I enjoyed most about this conversation is that it isn't trying to persuade anyone to try something they're not interested in. Instead, it's an invitation to become more curious about our own desires, to ask better questions and to recognise that intimacy looks different for every couple.

After all, a healthy sex life isn't about ticking boxes or following rules. It's about discovering what helps you and your partner feel connected, safe and genuinely excited to explore together.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- Pegging is about much more than penetration—it can involve trust, curiosity and shared exploration.

- Preparation, communication and patience are essential for enjoyable anal play.

- Beginners should start slowly rather than rushing straight to penetration.

- Plenty of lubricant and gradual progression help improve comfort and reduce the risk of injury.

- Anal pleasure doesn't define a person's sexuality or identity.

- Porn often skips the preparation that makes anal play enjoyable in real life.

- Aftercare supports both physical recovery and emotional connection.

- Good harnesses and beginner-friendly toys make the experience easier and more comfortable.

- Open conversations reduce shame and strengthen intimacy.

- Staying curious is often the key to a more satisfying sex life.

About the Guest

Luna Matatas is a Toronto-based sex and pleasure educator, speaker and workshop facilitator with more than 15 years' experience helping people explore sexuality with confidence and curiosity. She specialises in kink, BDSM, anal pleasure, pegging, communication and relationship skills, creating inclusive educational resources for individuals and couples alike. Through workshops, online courses and her writing, Luna encourages people to replace shame with informed exploration and to build intimate relationships based on consent, communication and pleasure.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

The Surprising 69% of Women Unhappy in Sex... and How to Fix It - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-surprising-69-of-women-unhappy

Why Women Really Hire Male Escorts | ft. George Goulburn - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-women-really-hire-male-escorts

How to Turn around your Sex Life in 6 Weeks - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-most-couples-get-sex-completely

What I Discussed With Dr Shirin Lakhani…

- Why millions of women are still being told that painful sex is simply part of ageing—and why that's simply not true.

- How a lack of menopause and sexual health training leaves many healthcare professionals unable to recognise or treat common intimate health conditions.

- Why understanding your own vulva and knowing what's normal for your body could lead to earlier diagnosis and better treatment.

- How vaginal dryness, low libido and painful intercourse can often be treated rather than simply endured.

- What regenerative treatments such as the O-Shot® and P-Shot® are designed to do—and who might benefit from them.

- Why conditions like lichen sclerosus are so frequently misdiagnosed and the warning signs women should never ignore.

- How pelvic floor health affects both women and men, particularly after prostate surgery.

- Why improving conversations about sexual wellbeing could transform healthy ageing for future generations.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:40 Why Women's Sexual Health Is Still Being Overlooked

05:00 Why Doctors Rarely Ask About Intimate Health

08:30 Menopause, GSM and the Myths Around Ageing

11:00 Understanding the O-Shot® and P-Shot®

16:00 Alternative Treatments Beyond Hormones

19:00 Pelvic Floor Health and Recovery After Prostate Surgery

25:00 Understanding Lichen Sclerosus

30:30 Why Early Diagnosis Matters

33:00 Changing Healthcare Through Education

Show Notes

Why do so many women leave their doctor's surgery believing that painful sex, vaginal dryness or a loss of intimacy is simply something they have to accept?

The truth is, many of the intimate health challenges associated with menopause and ageing are both recognised and treatable. Yet too often they're never discussed. Whether it's embarrassment, lack of training or outdated assumptions about ageing, countless people continue to suffer in silence because nobody tells them that help exists.

In this episode, I'm joined by GP and intimate health specialist Dr. Shirin Lakhani, whose mission is to change that. From her Know Your Normal and Check Your Vulva campaigns to her pioneering work in regenerative medicine, Dr. Lakhani is challenging the way we think about sexual wellbeing for both women and men.

Our conversation explores why intimate health deserves to be part of every healthcare discussion, how conditions such as genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM) and lichen sclerosus are often missed or misdiagnosed, and why understanding your own body is one of the most powerful steps you can take towards better health. We also discuss emerging treatments designed to restore tissue health and improve quality of life, while recognising that education and open conversations remain just as important as medical innovation.

If there's one thing this episode makes clear, it's that growing older shouldn't mean accepting discomfort, pain or the loss of intimacy. The more we understand our bodies, the better equipped we are to advocate for the care we deserve.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- Painful sex is never something people should simply accept because of age.

- Many healthcare professionals receive very little formal training in menopause and sexual health.

- Knowing what's normal for your own body makes it easier to recognise changes early.

- Genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM) is common but highly treatable.

- Lichen sclerosus is often mistaken for recurrent thrush, delaying diagnosis.

- Pelvic floor health is important for both women and men throughout life.

- Regenerative treatments may offer additional options alongside hormone therapy for some patients.

- Open conversations reduce stigma and improve healthcare outcomes.

- Sexual wellbeing remains an important part of healthy ageing.

- Better education—for both patients and clinicians—is key to improving care.

- Understanding Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause (GSM)

What Is It?

Genitourinary syndrome of menopause (GSM) is a collection of symptoms caused by declining oestrogen levels after menopause. It can affect the vagina, vulva, bladder and urinary tract, often leading to discomfort that worsens over time if left untreated.

Why Does It Happen?

As oestrogen levels fall, the tissues of the vulva, vagina and urinary tract become thinner, drier and less elastic. Blood flow decreases, collagen production reduces and the tissues become more vulnerable to irritation, pain and infection.

What Are the Common Signs or Symptoms?

- Vaginal dryness

- Pain during sex

- Burning or irritation

- Itching

- Recurrent urinary tract infections

- Urinary urgency or leakage

- Reduced lubrication

- Decreased sexual comfort and pleasure

What Can People Do About It?

Speak to a healthcare professional if symptoms develop rather than assuming they're a normal part of ageing. Depending on the individual, treatment may include vaginal oestrogen, hormone replacement therapy, pelvic floor rehabilitation, non-hormonal moisturisers and lubricants, or regenerative therapies discussed in this episode. Early diagnosis and treatment can significantly improve comfort, intimacy and overall quality of life.

About the Guest

Dr. Shirin Lakhani is a GP, aesthetic physician and founder of Elite Aesthetics, specialising in menopause, intimate health and regenerative medicine. She is the creator of the Know Your Normal and Check Your Vulva awareness campaigns, which encourage women to become familiar with their anatomy and seek help early when changes occur. Dr Lakhani is recognised for her work treating female and male sexual dysfunction, genitourinary syndrome of menopause, lichen sclerosus and pelvic floor disorders, while also advocating for better education around sexual health within mainstream medicine.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

Bonus Live: Your body isn’t broken — it’s just done performing. - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-w-amara-charles

Bonus Live: Why Self-Pleasure Might Be a Menopause Superpower - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-and-marie

Why Women Feel Completely Different After Menopause | Tanya Leake - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-women-feel-completely-different

What I Discussed With Marianne Power…

- What actually happens at a tantra retreat—and why it's probably very different from what most people imagine.

- Why fear, embarrassment and curiosity often go hand in hand when stepping into workshops about intimacy and sexuality.

- How growing up with shame around sex can quietly shape relationships well into adulthood.

- Why learning to say both "yes" and "no" became one of Marianne's most powerful lessons.

- How simple exercises around touch, consent and communication can reveal deeply held beliefs about ourselves.

- Why fulfilling relationships don't always have to follow the traditional "happily ever after" script.

- How honest conversations about sex help us realise we're far less alone than we think.

- Why it's never too late to rewrite the stories you've inherited about intimacy, love and pleasure.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:20 Why Marianne Said "No" to Tantra—Then Changed Her Mind

05:00 Walking Into Her First Tantra Retreat

08:30 Learning About Touch, Consent and Saying No

12:00 Sexual Confidence and Letting Go of Shame

16:00 Challenging Traditional Ideas About Relationships

20:00 Why Honest Conversations Change Everything

24:00 How Tantra Helped Marianne Reconnect with Herself

28:00 Living Life on Your Own Terms

30:00 What's Next for Marianne

Show Notes

If you've ever been curious about tantra but secretly wondered what really happens behind those retreat doors, you're certainly not alone.

For many of us, the idea conjures up images of mysterious rituals, intimidatingly confident people and experiences that feel far removed from everyday life. But perhaps the biggest surprise is that most people arrive feeling exactly the same: nervous, self-conscious and convinced everyone else knows what they're doing.

In this episode, I'm joined by journalist and author Marianne Power, whose book Love Me chronicles her deeply personal journey from an Irish Catholic upbringing filled with sexual shame to exploring tantra, somatic practices and a completely different relationship with intimacy. Rather than speaking as a teacher or therapist, Marianne offers something we rarely hear—the perspective of someone walking into these spaces for the very first time.

Together we explore what actually happens at tantra workshops, why learning to communicate honestly can be more transformative than anything overtly sexual, and how challenging long-held beliefs about relationships opened the door to greater freedom and self-acceptance. We also reflect on why so many of us still struggle to talk about sex, ask for what we want or believe there is only one "correct" way to build a fulfilling life.

Perhaps the greatest lesson from Marianne's story is that confidence doesn't come from having all the answers. It comes from being willing to stay curious enough to ask better questions.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- Most people arrive at tantra retreats feeling nervous rather than confident.

- Tantra is often more about communication, consent and self-awareness than sex.

- Learning to say "no" can be just as empowering as learning to say "yes."

- Sexual shame often begins long before adulthood.

- Honest conversations help people realise their experiences are far more common than they think.

- There isn't one "correct" relationship model that suits everyone.

- Physical touch can be deeply healing even when it isn't sexual.

- Confidence grows through practice, not perfection.

- Self-acceptance often begins by questioning inherited beliefs.

- Personal growth is rarely comfortable, but it can be life-changing.

About the Guest

Marianne Power is an award-winning journalist and author best known for writing immersive books that explore personal transformation through lived experience. Following the success of Help Me!, in which she spent a year living by self-help books, Marianne wrote Love Me, documenting her exploration of Tantric practice, sexuality, intimacy, and relationships. Through humour, honesty and vulnerability, she shares the challenges of overcoming shame, questioning traditional relationship expectations, and discovering new ways to connect with herself and others.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

The Surprising 69% of Women Unhappy in Sex... and How to Fix It - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-surprising-69-of-women-unhappy

Why Women Really Hire Male Escorts | ft. George Goulburn - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-women-really-hire-male-escorts

Bonus Live: Would You Let an AI Sex Toy Learn Your Desire? - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/would-you-let-an-ai-sex-toy-learn

What I Discussed With Juliette LaMontagne…

- Why losing sexual intimacy in a long-term relationship doesn’t have to mean the relationship is over.

- How the Wheel of Consent helped one couple reconnect after years of distance, resentment and recovery.

- Why talking about sex isn’t always enough—and how touch can communicate what words cannot.

- How learning to ask for what you truly want can transform both intimacy and emotional connection.

- Why pleasure begins with understanding your own desires before expecting a partner to meet them.

- How recovery, personal growth and radical accountability created the conditions for rebuilding trust.

- Why even placing your hands on someone’s feet can become a profound act of reconnection.

- How curiosity, rather than perfection, can become the foundation for a more fulfilling relationship.

And much more…

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

02:00 Why Long-Term Relationships Lose Intimacy

04:00 Juliette’s Journey Through Separation and Self-Discovery

08:00 Discovering the Wheel of Consent

12:00 Rebuilding Trust One Small Step at a Time

16:30 Understanding Serving, Accepting, Taking and Allowing

20:00 Learning to Express Desire Without Shame

24:00 Seeing Your Partner in a Completely New Way

28:00 Why Curiosity Is the Beginning of Better Intimacy

32:00 It’s Never Too Late to Start Again

Show Notes

What happens when you’ve talked about your relationship so much that there simply aren’t any words left?

Many couples reach a point where they know something is missing. The conversations have been had, the therapy sessions attended, the books read—and yet intimacy still feels out of reach. Perhaps the problem isn’t that we haven’t talked enough. Perhaps we’ve forgotten how to connect in other ways.

In this episode, I’m joined by writer and Substack creator Juliette LaMontagne, who shares the remarkable story of rebuilding intimacy with her husband after years of separation, addiction recovery and emotional distance. Rather than searching for another communication technique, Juliette discovered the Wheel of Consent—a deceptively simple framework that helped them reconnect through curiosity, touch and learning how to ask for what they truly wanted.

What I love about this conversation is that it isn’t really about one particular method. It’s about recognising that intimacy doesn’t magically return on its own. Sometimes it begins with something as small as asking someone to place their hands on your feet for three minutes. Sometimes it begins with discovering that desire isn’t something another person gives us—it’s something we first learn to recognise within ourselves.

Whether you’re in a decades-long relationship, navigating a difficult period with your partner or simply becoming more curious about your own desires, Juliette offers a hopeful reminder that meaningful change doesn’t require dramatic gestures. Often, it starts with one small act of courage.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- Rebuilding intimacy often starts with reconnecting to yourself.

- Small acts of physical connection can feel more powerful than grand romantic gestures.

- The Wheel of Consent provides a practical language for touch, boundaries and desire.

- Learning to ask for what you want takes practice.

- Recovery and personal growth can create new opportunities for intimacy.

- Curiosity is more valuable than trying to be the “perfect” partner.

- Emotional safety allows desire to emerge naturally.

- Touch can communicate things that words cannot.

- Long-term relationships can evolve in surprising ways.

- It’s never too late to rediscover intimacy.

About the Guest

Juliette LaMontagne is the writer behind the Substack Touch Me There: Reclaiming Desire, Power and Purpose in Midlife, where she explores intimacy, relationships, sexuality and personal transformation. Drawing on her own experiences of marriage, separation, recovery and reconciliation, Juliette writes thoughtfully about midlife desire, emotional growth and the practices that helped her reconnect with herself and her partner. Her work combines lived experience with insights from somatic practices, psychology and personal development to encourage deeper, more authentic relationships.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

Bonus Live: The Relationship Lesson That Ends So Much Conflict - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/bonus-live-the-relationship-lesson

Why Long-Term Couples Drift Apart—and the Simple Habit That Brings Them Back - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-couples-lose-the-spark-and-how

Recovering from Infidelity after 50: What nobody tells you about Betrayal - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/recovering-from-infidelity-after

On this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I had the pleasure of chatting with Susan Morgan Taylor, a somatic sex therapist from beautiful North Carolina. Susan works with couples to help them reconnect with their bodies and each other, using somatic methods to explore desire and intimacy. If you’ve ever wondered how to reignite the spark or expand your idea of pleasure, this episode will inspire you!

Susan explained that somatic sex therapy focuses on the body and sensations rather than just talking things through. She shared how couples can learn to notice what feels good, express their desires, and explore different types of touch—beyond the obvious areas. It’s about slowing down, paying attention, and creating space for pleasure to unfold naturally. I loved Susan’s reminder that pleasure and orgasm aren’t things someone gives you; they’re already inside you, waiting to be unlocked.

We also tackled the common issue of mismatched libidos in relationships. Susan’s take? Stop blaming each other! Instead, understand how you’re both wired differently and learn to meet in the middle. She shared some brilliant tips, like finding your voice to express what you want and being open to what your partner needs. As Susan said, “What would change if you took 100% responsibility for your own pleasure?” A game-changing question, right?

If you’re curious to learn more, check out Susan’s website, pathwaytopleasure.com, where you’ll find her retreats, masterclasses, and even a free ebook. She also hosts a great podcast called Sex Talk Cafe. This conversation was such a fun and eye-opening reminder that it’s never too late to explore new paths to pleasure and connection.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Somatic Sex Therapy

02:57 Understanding Somatic Practices

04:45 Benefits for Older Couples

07:30 Exploring Erogenous Zones

09:50 The Pleasure Keys Process

12:01 The Power of Light Touch

15:45 Types of Touch in Intimacy

16:22 Desire Discrepancy in Relationships

20:03 Navigating Sexual Expectations

21:23 Finding Your Pathway to Pleasure

24:31 The Importance of Communication

27:06 Empowerment in Relationships

29:10 Feedback and Desire

31:04 Finding Your Voice

What’s this about?

Hi, I’m Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,’ pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.

Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast.

Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.

Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend.

Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:

* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life’

* Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature

* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later life

I’m grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.

Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:

“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”

“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”

“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.”

On this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I had the pleasure of chatting with Dr. Joli Hamilton, a jealousy expert who’s spent twelve years unraveling the messy, powerful, and often uncomfortable emotion of jealousy, especially in relationships. If you want to know everything there is to know about jealousy, Joli is your woman!

We dove into why jealousy can feel so unbearable, how it’s hardwired into us, and why the idea of "just getting over it" is total nonsense. Spoiler alert: jealousy isn’t a bad thing -it’s actually a tool for deeper self-awareness and connection.

Joli shared her own journey, which started when she opened up her relationship years ago and found herself (and her partners!) swirling in jealousy without a clue how to handle it. Instead of running away, she leaned in, studied the emotion for over a decade, and discovered that jealousy has a purpose: it’s there to keep us connected to those we value. But the trick is learning how to slow down, notice what’s happening in the body, and reframe the stories we tell ourselves about jealousy.

We also explored how jealousy and envy often show up together, especially in open or polyamorous relationships. Joli explained how comparing yourself to others, whether it’s someone who’s funnier, younger, or more sexually adventurous, can trigger envy and self-doubt. The key? Stop feeling ashamed of these emotions, slow down, and address them head-on. It’s all about communication, self-awareness, and getting honest about your needs and boundaries.

If you’re curious about opening up your relationship or just want to understand jealousy better, Joli offered some great advice: start the conversation with your partner before you’re in the thick of it. Don’t wait for jealousy to blindside you! Her insights were a brilliant reminder that relationships, whether monogamous or not, are all about navigating complex emotions with care and curiosity.

Thanks, Joli, for such a fascinating and eye-opening chat!

What’s this about?

Hi, I’m Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,’ pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.

Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast.

Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.

Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend.

Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:

* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life’

* Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature

* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later life

I’m grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.

Hey, but don’t take it from me. Here’s what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:

“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”

“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”

“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.”