Shrink For The Shy Guy

Welcome back to part two of Taking the Sting Out of Rejection! In this episode, Aziz guides you through a transformative process to deflate the drama around rejection and reconnect with a deep sense of okayness within yourself.

Learn how to shift rejection from a source of shame and self-doubt to neutral information, while embracing a powerful truth: you don’t need any one person or situation to feel whole. With a guided practice, Aziz helps you find safety and peace within your body, letting go of the grasping and fear that rejection often triggers.

This episode offers a hands-on approach to healing and liberation from rejection’s sting. Stay tuned until the end for a deeply grounding exercise. And if you haven’t yet listened to part one, make sure to start there for the full experience!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you haven’t yet listened to Part One of this series, stop right here and go back to that episode. It's essential for fully grasping what we're going to explore today. In Part One, we uncovered the automatic reactions you have when you face rejection, and we talked about why those reactions happen. Now, in Part Two, we're going to shift the focus to how you can take the sting out of rejection and move forward with confidence and peace.

Rejection is Information, Not a Reflection of Your Worth

The first key takeaway is to see rejection as information, not as a judgment on who you are. When someone says "no" or doesn’t respond, it’s easy to spiral into thoughts like "I’m not good enough" or "I’ll never be successful." But the truth is, a no is just a no — it doesn’t define you or your value.

Whether it's a small no, like someone turning down your invitation, or a big no, like a breakup after years of dating, the feeling of rejection activates our default emotional patterns, which often involve self-criticism and despair. These patterns are automatic, but they are not the truth.

The Drama We Add to Rejection

When we face rejection, we often turn the experience into a dramatic story. The first step in reducing the sting is to acknowledge the drama we add to it. Often, when we hear "no," our minds jump to conclusions:

These thoughts create a lot of emotional turmoil, but they are just our personal drama. Confidence is the ability to act without adding drama. It’s not about pretending to be invincible but about moving forward without letting the emotional charge of rejection take over.

Let Go of the Need for Rejection to Go Your Way

One of the most powerful ways to deflate the drama is to let go of the intense need for rejection to go a certain way. Rejection often hurts because we attach so much need to the outcome. For example, when you reach out to someone to be your friend or to date, you might think: “I need this person to like me” or “I need them to say yes, or else I’m unworthy.” But the truth is, you are okay whether they say yes or no.

When you feel the need for a certain outcome, it creates anxiety and desperation, which is felt by others and can create an aversion response. Instead, shift to a place of emotional neutrality — you want the connection, but you don’t need it to be okay.

Reframing Rejection with Compassion

To truly heal from rejection, you have to meet it with compassion. When you experience the sting of rejection, instead of beating yourself up, offer yourself deep empathy. For example, when you feel rejected, acknowledge the discomfort with self-compassion:

By practicing this, you’ll start to realize that your worth doesn’t depend on getting a "yes." In fact, you are enough just as you are, whether someone accepts you or not.

Practical Steps for Moving Through Rejection

Here’s a simple practice to help you move through rejection:

This practice can help you shift your emotional state and return to a place of peace and self-assurance.

You're More Than Rejection

Rejection doesn’t define your worth. You have the power to transform how you respond to rejection. The more you practice seeing rejection as neutral information, without adding drama or attaching your value to it, the more confident you’ll become in navigating life's ups and downs.

Remember: You are okay, no matter what happens.

Keep practicing, keep softening, and embrace each “no” as an opportunity to become more comfortable with yourself. In doing so, you’ll find that you’re not just surviving rejection, but thriving in your own emotional strength and resilience.

Rejection—it’s the sting we all dread. Whether you’re battling social anxiety, people-pleasing, or simply trying to navigate life’s challenges, the fear of rejection can keep you trapped. But what if you could take the sting out of rejection for good?

In this episode, we explore the hidden patterns behind our fear of rejection, why it feels so painful, and how it secretly shapes our lives. Aziz shares key insights from his recent virtual event, guiding you to uncover your default rejection pattern (DERP). This is the first step toward transforming your relationship with rejection and unlocking true freedom.

Stay tuned for part two, where we’ll dive into actionable tools to help you thrive in the face of rejection. Don’t miss this chance to reclaim your power and live boldly!

------------------------------------------------------------

Do you find yourself going to great lengths to avoid rejection? You may have learned, like many people with social anxiety, to keep a low profile—avoiding speaking up, not drawing attention to yourself, and staying under the radar just to avoid feeling rejected. But here's the truth: by avoiding rejection, you’re not really protecting yourself—you’re limiting your life. Today, let’s talk about how to take the sting out of rejection so you can move past the fear and boldly live your life, no matter what.

The Hidden Cost of Avoiding Rejection

When you’ve got social anxiety or you struggle with people-pleasing, the fear of rejection often controls your decisions. It’s not about actively getting rejected—it’s about keeping your life small so that rejection never happens. But here’s the problem: while you may be successfully avoiding outright rejection, you’re still feeling rejected on a deeper, emotional level.

You might feel unworthy, invisible, disconnected, or as if you’re missing out on life’s opportunities—even when no one has actually rejected you. This is the hidden cost of constantly avoiding rejection. It creates an emotional cage where you’re safe from the outward pain of rejection, but the inner pain of feeling unworthy or disconnected becomes your constant companion.

The Path Forward: Move Toward Rejection, Not Away From It

So, how do you break free from this trap? The key is to stop running away from rejection and instead move toward it. This doesn’t mean you should seek rejection on purpose, but it means you need to take the actions that align with your true desires—even if some rejection might happen along the way.

As hard as it is to hear, the reality is that rejection is inevitable if you want to truly live your life. The more you stretch out of your comfort zone—whether that’s putting yourself out there socially, expressing your opinion, or going after a career opportunity—the more likely you are to face some form of rejection. And that’s okay.

How to Take the Sting Out of Rejection: A Mindset Shift

To truly take the sting out of rejection, you have to change your relationship with it. It’s not about eliminating the bad feelings that come with rejection; it’s about understanding where those feelings come from and how you can respond to them differently.

Recognize the Default Pattern: When you face rejection, what’s your first reaction? For many, it’s an overwhelming sense of failure. You might think, “I’m unworthy,” or “This means I’ll never be good enough.” But these thoughts are part of a default pattern—a learned response that you’ve created over time.

Pause and Reflect: When you get rejected, instead of reacting with shame or self-criticism, take a moment to slow down. Reflect on your emotional response. What are you telling yourself about this rejection? Are you internalizing it as proof that you’re not good enough?

Use the Pain as a Reminder: Instead of letting rejection crush you, see it as a reminder to practice a new way of thinking. Just like I use physical pain as a reminder to practice self-care for my body, emotional pain from rejection can be a reminder to practice self-compassion. It's not about running away from the pain—it's about responding to it with care and understanding.

The Power of Persistence

One of the most powerful tools for overcoming the sting of rejection is gentle persistence. This means learning to persist after receiving a “no” without pushing past someone’s boundaries. Instead of quitting when you face rejection, take a moment to reframe the situation and ask, “What can I learn from this?” Maybe the rejection wasn’t personal. Maybe it wasn’t the right timing. But by persistently staying true to yourself and your desires, you’ll increase your chances of future success.

Take Action Now

If you're ready to start shifting your relationship with rejection, your action step today is simple: study your default response. When you experience rejection, what thoughts and feelings come up? Is there a story you tell yourself about your worth? Start writing down these responses and look for patterns. The more you study them, the less power they will have over you. This self-awareness is the first step toward freeing yourself from the sting of rejection.

Closing Thoughts: You Are Worthy

Remember, rejection doesn’t define your worth. It’s not about how others perceive you—it’s about how you perceive yourself. You have the power to change the way you respond to rejection, and by doing so, you’ll unlock a life full of connection, confidence, and courage. Keep practicing, and you’ll find that rejection doesn’t sting nearly as much as it used to. You’ve got this.

Welcome back to Shrink for the Shy Guy! In today’s episode, we dive into the third principle of sanity and victory: The Process is the Purpose.

We often chase outcomes, believing they’ll bring lasting happiness, but what if the true magic lies in the journey itself? Whether it's fitness goals, career achievements, or personal growth, embracing the process can transform your life. In this episode, I’ll share personal stories of striving and thriving, and reveal how shifting your focus from results to growth can lead to greater joy, peace, and success.

Discover how to reframe your goals, find purpose in the present, and become the person you’re meant to be—one step at a time. Let’s reclaim sanity and achieve victory together.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Welcome to Today’s Episode: The Process is the Purpose

Hey there! I'm excited to continue our exploration of the eight principles of sanity and victory. Today, we’re diving into the third principle: The Process is the Purpose.

Recap of Previous Principles

Before we get into this principle, let's quickly recap the first two:

The Process is the Purpose

Now, let's unpack the third principle. Here’s the little text I wrote to remind myself about this principle:

The outcome is the carrot the divine uses to inspire. It is not the true purpose and it will not bring the permanent happiness you imbue it with. Withdraw the glamour from that fantasy and fully embrace the process. The process is the magic alchemy that transforms you into the next version you're meant to be. Seek out the discomfort, savor the victories, and feast on your life today.

Understanding the Principle

At its core, this principle is about shifting your focus from outcomes to the experiences and lessons found in the process. While we all have goals—be it personal, professional, or relational—focusing solely on the end result can lead to frustration, anxiety, and a sense of unfulfillment.

The Pitfalls of Outcome Obsession

When we become too fixated on the results we want, we risk losing sight of the joy and growth available in our day-to-day experiences. This can lead to stress, overwhelm, and even burnout. You may find yourself striving for a particular outcome, believing that once you achieve it, you will feel permanently happy. However, this is often an illusion.

A Personal Example

Let me illustrate this with my own experiences. In 2018, after overcoming chronic pain, I got back into physical fitness and strength training. I set a goal to get a specific physique, thinking that achieving a certain look would bring me happiness. I meticulously tracked my calories and macros, constantly worrying about whether I was on track. This mindset led me to a place of tension and stress. I labeled that time in my life “The Summer of Striving.” I was so fixated on the outcome that I missed out on the joy of the process.

Conversely, during a recent training period, I shifted my perspective. I realized that the joy of working out wasn’t just in the end result but in how strong and capable I felt each day. I focused on the process of becoming fitter and stronger rather than obsessing over the specific outcome. This mindset transformed my experience into something enjoyable and rewarding.

The Importance of Embracing the Process

So how can you apply this principle in your life? It starts by recognizing that the process itself—everything you learn and experience along the way—is the true reward. Embrace the discomfort and challenges that come with growth. Instead of rushing towards the finish line, find ways to appreciate the journey.

Action Step: Shift Your Focus

Your action step for this week is to identify an area in your life where you’re overly focused on the outcome. Take a moment to reflect on what you can appreciate about the process itself. Whether it's a hobby, a personal project, or a fitness goal, find joy in the everyday actions that lead you toward your aspirations.

Remember, life is about the journey, not just the destination. Embrace the process, savor the victories, and recognize that who you become along the way is just as important, if not more so, than the results you achieve.

Thank you for joining me today! I’m looking forward to exploring the next principle with you in our upcoming episodes. Until next time, embrace the journey and trust in the process!

Are you ready to learn the strange secret to becoming truly likable? We’re diving deep into what really draws people to you—and it has nothing to do with techniques or tricks. It's not about "doing" anything specific but about "being" a more open and authentic version of yourself.

Forget feeling like you have to go on a big self-improvement quest just to be liked. We’ll explore why you don’t need to be more interesting, successful, or good-looking to create meaningful connections. Instead, the key is in letting people see the real you—letting go of control and being vulnerable. I’ll share stories and insights on how being transparent and letting yourself be known can radically change the way others see you.

Whether you’re struggling with social anxiety, self-doubt, or just want to build deeper connections, this episode will show you how simple, authentic changes in how you show up can make you instantly more likable. Join me as we uncover the real pathway to connection and likability!

---------------------------------------------------------

Let’s start by reflecting on how you see yourself. Do you think you’re likable? Some people may feel generally positive, while others might think, “No, I’m awkward or unlikable.” Some may say, “It depends,” especially based on who they’re with. If you’re around someone you find attractive or intimidating, you may feel less likable.

The root of this often lies in your self-identity. If you perceive yourself as unlikable, it can be challenging to connect with others. And when you’re in situations where you want to impress someone, that anxiety can lead to trying to control how others perceive you, which ironically makes you less likable.

The Trap of Control

When we feel we need someone’s approval to feel okay, we’re likely to tense up or even act in ways that are not true to ourselves. We may hold back or even overshare in a bid to win someone over. This need for control can create barriers to genuine connection.

The Secret to Being Likable

So what’s the strange secret to being likable? It boils down to this: let yourself be seen and known by others.

This means embracing vulnerability and authenticity. When you let others in—showing who you truly are—you create space for connection.

Practical Examples of Vulnerability

Being Honest About Your Feelings: If you’re feeling nervous or excited in a new situation, acknowledge it. Sharing your feelings can help others relate to you.

Engaging in Meaningful Conversations: Instead of playing it safe, be willing to share a bit about your life or ask deeper questions. Vulnerability fosters connection.

Accepting Imperfections: Share your quirks and flaws. People are often drawn to authenticity, not perfection.

Learning from Experience

I recently hosted a retreat for participants in my year-long mastermind program, where we focused on creating connections through vulnerability. During our sessions, people shared their fears and insecurities, leading to powerful moments of connection. One participant expressed her struggles with comparing herself to her successful brother. When she bravely shared her feelings, it opened the door for deeper understanding and connection, enhancing their relationship.

The Journey to Authenticity

I remember a pivotal moment in my life when a mentor told me that people don’t like you for being perfect; they like you for being real. It took me years to embrace this lesson fully. The journey to being genuine and transparent is ongoing, but it’s incredibly rewarding.

Action Step: Embrace Transparency

Your action step this week is to practice transparency. Look for an opportunity to reveal something about yourself that you wouldn’t normally share. This could be a challenge you’re facing, a goal you’re pursuing, or simply how you feel in the moment. Choose someone you trust and feel comfortable with to share this vulnerability.

Closing Thoughts

Remember, becoming more likable is about embracing your true self and allowing others to see you. When you let go of the need for approval and allow your authentic self to shine, you invite deeper connections and richer relationships.

Thank you for joining me today. Until next time, may you have the courage to be yourself and recognize the inherent awesomeness within you!

I'm excited to share with you the second principle of sanity and victory—a concept that can help you feel more free from anxiety, stress, and worrying about what others think. These principles are designed to bring you a sense of peace while empowering you to create the life you want, which is the ultimate victory.

In this episode, we dive into the power of surrender. What does it mean to surrender, and how can it become the ultimate life skill for you? I'll explain the meaning behind this principle and how it helps you flow with life, free yourself from unnecessary suffering, and stay calm, even in challenging circumstances. I'll also show you how to avoid the trap of thinking you need everything to go a certain way to feel okay, and how to let go of that need for control.

If you're looking to feel less weighed down by life's demands and more empowered, this episode is for you. So, let's explore how surrender can bring you more freedom and joy, and set you up for victory.

---------------------------------------------------------------

As a reminder, sanity, in this context, refers to a sense of peace and the ability to flow with life without sabotaging your well-being. Victory, on the other hand, is about breaking through challenges and becoming who you are truly meant to be. These principles are here to guide you towards both.

Principle #2: Surrender Is the Ultimate Life Skill

"Surrender to the divine flow is the ultimate life skill. Not my will, but thy will. I remember the fundamental error that I need something out there to be exactly a certain way in order to feel okay in here. Peace is available right now. I'm okay either way. All I need is within me now. I accept the current painting as it is and calmly walk into an entirely different room."

Unpacking the Principle

Applying the Principle in Your Life

Now that we’ve unpacked this principle, let’s explore how you can integrate it into your daily routine.

Time for Action: Embrace Surrender

Your action step today is to practice surrender. Here’s how you can do this:

As we conclude this episode, remember that surrendering to the divine flow doesn’t mean giving up on your goals. It means embracing the journey and allowing life to unfold as it should. By practicing this principle, you can cultivate a deeper sense of peace and freedom, empowering you to navigate life with grace and confidence.Join me next time as we continue our exploration of the Eight Principles of Sanity and Victory. Until then, may you have the courage to surrender and embrace the flow of life, knowing that all you need is within you now. Thank you for being here!

Join Dr. Aziz as he shares powerful tools, insights, and practical steps he's discovered over 15+ years of helping people conquer their fears and embrace their bold, authentic selves. In this special series, you’ll dive into the "Eight Principles of Sanity and Victory," designed to help you master your mindset, reclaim control, and thrive in all areas of your life. Each episode breaks down one principle, packed with real-life examples, action steps, and practical strategies you can apply immediately.

Whether you're battling self-doubt, fear of rejection, or just want to feel more in control of your life, you’ll find inspiration, guidance, and encouragement here. You are the captain of your ship, and it’s time to steer it toward the life you truly deserve. Let's do this!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello and welcome! I’m thrilled to have you here today as we embark on an exciting journey over the next few episodes. We’ll be exploring the Eight Principles of Sanity and Victory—powerful tools designed to help you reclaim your life and build a profound sense of confidence. So, whether you’re seeking to overcome anxiety, enhance your relationships, or find greater purpose, you’re in the right place.

The Journey Begins

Before we dive into the first principle, I want to take a moment to share the purpose behind this series. My mission—Operation Divine Liberation—is to empower as many people as possible to live fully and authentically. It’s about moving beyond survival mode and into a life of thriving, where you don’t just survive to the end, but truly experience every moment as rich and fulfilling.

A Call for Support

Now, I need to ask you for a small favor. If you’re finding value in this podcast, I would greatly appreciate it if you could leave a review. Your feedback helps me reach more people and spread this mission further. Thank you for your support!

Introducing the Eight Principles

Today, we’ll kick off our exploration with the first of the Eight Principles of Sanity and Victory. This principle emerged from my journey of self-reflection, especially as I approached 43 years of age. It’s a reminder that as we navigate life’s challenges, we can choose to steer our own ship rather than be tossed around by the waves of circumstance.

Principle #1: I Am the Captain of My Ship

"My suffering isn't in my circumstances, but in how I'm steering. I alone am responsible for my state."

This principle is foundational for several reasons:

Navigating the Waves of Life

Let’s break this down further. When faced with failure or rejection, it’s easy to slip into a negative mindset and view ourselves as inadequate. You might find yourself saying, “I’m not enough” or “I’ll never succeed.” These thoughts can feel overwhelming, but it’s crucial to remember that they are just thoughts—not facts.

What to Do Instead:

Your Action Step: Claim Your Choice

To solidify this principle in your life, I encourage you to take action today. Repeat this mantra to yourself: “I am the captain of my ship.” Say it out loud, write it down, and remind yourself daily. This simple act can serve as a powerful reminder of your agency and strength.

Closing Thoughts

As we wrap up this episode, remember that you have the power to steer your life in the direction you desire. Embrace the challenges as opportunities for growth, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support along the way. Together, we can navigate through life’s complexities with courage and grace.

Join me in the next episode as we continue exploring the Eight Principles of Sanity and Victory. Until then, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you are enough. Thank you for tuning in!

Welcome to today's episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy! You are brave for clicking on this one because today we're tackling the gruesome three—failure, rejection, and not-enoughness. As we approach Halloween, it's time for some real horror stories—those emotions we avoid like the plague, yet they shape so much of our lives. Forget the bat-like creatures from horror movies; the fear of failure, rejection, and feeling like you're not enough are way scarier and far more avoided.

But you're here, and that’s already a bold step. This episode will shed light on these dreaded feelings, helping you realize that you're not alone and that the experience isn't as terrible as it seems when we look at it together. We're diving deep into how personalizing these feelings makes them so much worse and how to shift your perspective to make them more manageable.

These emotions—failure, rejection, and not-enoughness—are what hold so many of us back from living the life we truly want. The good news? They don’t have to. Let's dig into these feelings, challenge them, and see what’s really going on beneath the surface. Thanks for joining me on this brave journey!

Visit DrAziz.com to learn more and register for my upcoming virtual event, End Social Anxiety Now.

------------------------------------------------

You’re brave. You clicked on this episode, even though the title probably made you wince: Failure, Rejection, and Not Enoughness. These aren’t just abstract concepts; they’re feelings we all try to avoid. But if you’re listening today, that means you’re ready to face them, and that takes courage.Halloween might be around the corner, but forget about spooky movies with bat-like creatures jumping out to scare you. The real horror? Facing failure, rejection, and that sinking feeling of not being enough. People will line up to watch a horror movie, but when it comes to willingly diving into their fears of failure or rejection, that’s a different story.So, let’s dive into these “Gruesome Three.” By the end of this post, you’ll not only understand why they have such a hold over you, but also how to soften their grip and start living more freely.

When Was the Last Time You Felt One of These?

For many, it’s probably quite recent. Maybe it’s happening right now as you’re reading this. These feelings don’t need dramatic events to show up. You can feel like a failure just by not checking off everything on your to-do list. Rejection can come from someone taking too long to text you back. And not enoughness? That can hit just from looking in the mirror.For some, these feelings come and go, but for others, they can be a constant, suffocating presence. I know, because I lived there. When I had severe social anxiety, it was like living in a soup of failure, rejection, and not enoughness. And the worst part? The more I avoided those feelings, the more power they gained.

The Insanity of Avoidance

Most people’s unspoken life plan is to avoid failure, rejection, and the feeling of not being enough. Seems logical, right? But here’s the catch: these feelings find a way to creep back in. Even if you don’t get rejected by someone because you avoid social situations, that feeling of not being enough might sneak in when you see someone else confidently talking to others.So we think, “Well, if I avoid these feelings, I’ll be fine.” But avoidance isn’t freedom. It’s a life lived in fear.

The Insane Setup We Create

We’ve set ourselves up with impossible expectations: Every action I take should go exactly as I want. Every person I interact with should respond the way I want them to. If not, I’m a failure and I need to feel awful about myself.It’s an insane setup. We’re demanding perfection from ourselves and others, and when that doesn’t happen, we slide down into a pit of shame and self-criticism. But here’s the key: it doesn’t have to be that way.

A New Way Forward

Instead of avoiding these feelings or allowing them to tear us down, what if we approached them differently? What if we didn’t personalize every failure, rejection, or moment of not enoughness? What if we saw them as part of the human experience, something that doesn’t define our worth?Here’s a shift you can start making today: the action is the win. The fact that you’re putting yourself out there, trying something, speaking up—that’s the victory. Whether or not it turns out the way you want doesn’t define your success.Zoom out. Look at the bigger picture of your life. Failure, rejection, and not enoughness are momentary blips in a much larger process of growth and learning.

Your Action Step: Who’s Making You Feel Not Enough?

Here’s the big question for today: Who’s making you feel not enough?We tend to think these feelings just happen to us, like rain falling from the sky. But that’s not true. These feelings come from patterns of thinking that we’ve been practicing, often without even realizing it. You have the power to change those patterns.So the next time you feel that sting of not being enough, ask yourself: Who’s doing this? How am I creating this feeling?This simple awareness can start to unravel the grip these feelings have over you.

Reclaim Your Power

Failure, rejection, and not enoughness don’t have to be terrifying, all-consuming monsters. By understanding them, seeing their roots, and changing your perspective, you can reclaim your power and live more freely.Until we speak again, remember: you are enough, just as you are. And you have the courage to create the life you want.If you want to dive deeper into breaking free from these patterns, join me for my upcoming virtual event. We’re going to deconstruct rejection and give you tools to handle it in a whole new way. Head over to draziz.com to register. Let’s replace that acid pit with a trampoline that bounces you right back into life!

Welcome to today's episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy! Are you ready to discover the one obstacle standing between you and extraordinary confidence? It might feel like there's a mountain of things in your way, but today, we're breaking it down to just one. Once you understand this obstacle, you'll see how to overcome it and create the confidence you've always wanted.

In this episode, Dr. Aziz explores the root of what's truly holding you back—your own perception of what's possible for you. He'll help you challenge the beliefs and feelings that make confidence seem out of reach, and guide you towards taking the actions that will transform your life. Plus, learn more about the upcoming virtual event, End Social Anxiety Now, where you can immerse yourself in powerful strategies to accelerate your confidence journey.

If you're ready to break free from discouragement and build the bold, confident life you deserve, this episode is for you. Let’s dive in and uncover what’s really possible for you!

Visit DrAziz.com to learn more and register for the virtual event.

-----------------------------------------------------

I’m excited to share something that might surprise you: there’s only one obstacle standing in the way of you building an extraordinary level of confidence. That’s right, just one.  While it might seem like there are countless reasons preventing you from feeling confident, the truth is, they all boil down to this one key thing. Stick with me, and by the end of this post, you’ll feel energized and empowered, ready to create the confidence you’ve always wanted.

The Root of Your Confidence Struggles

"Do you feel full, freely confident in every aspect of your life?" I’m talking about work, relationships, social situations, and dating. If your answer is anything less than "hell yes," it’s time to ask why. Often, when we ask ourselves this question, we don’t get a clear answer in words. Instead, it’s more of a feeling—a heavy, discouraged, or hopeless feeling. In psychology, this is known as learned helplessness. It’s the belief that no matter what you do, nothing will change, so you might as well give up. This hopelessness doesn’t have to be extreme to hold you back. Even a small amount can zap your energy, prevent you from taking action, and make every step toward confidence feel like an uphill battle.

The Real Obstacle: Your Perception of What's Possible

The only thing truly blocking your confidence is your perception of what’s possible for you. If you believe that building confidence is impossible, or that it will take too long, you’ll inevitably undermine your efforts. Every setback will feel like proof that you’re incapable, and every rejection will reinforce the idea that you’re just not good enough. But here’s the truth: the issue isn’t your appearance, your social skills, your upbringing, or your personality. The real problem is your belief that those things define what’s possible for you. As long as you hold onto that limiting belief, you’ll be stuck in a cycle of inaction and discouragement.

Shifting Your Perspective to Unlock Your Confidence

To break free from learned helplessness, you must change your perception. Start by asking yourself: Do I believe that it’s possible for me to create an extraordinary level of confidence? Not just in theory, but for you. This isn’t about whether others can do it—can you?If your honest answer is no, it’s time to challenge that belief. There’s someone out there with your exact challenges who has achieved what you desire. Someone with your height, your upbringing, your experience level, or whatever other limitation you think is holding you back. So why not you? The secret to building confidence is simple: take action, even if it’s uncomfortable. Confidence isn’t something that appears out of thin air—it’s built through doing. Lean into those small, uncomfortable actions. Whether it’s saying hi to a stranger, sharing your thoughts in a meeting, or putting yourself out there in any way, every step you take builds the muscle of confidence.

Reclaim Your Power Today

"Do you really want to change your perception of yourself?" This is a crucial question because holding onto your limiting beliefs comes with hidden benefits. It might allow you to avoid rejection, escape discomfort, or protect yourself from potential failure. But in reality, those are just excuses that keep you stuck. You have the power to choose a different perspective. Reclaim your belief in yourself and be willing to take the necessary actions, even if they’re challenging. Confidence is possible for you, and you can create it—one step at a time.

Take Action Now

Think about an area in your life where you feel discouraged or hopeless. Bring your attention to that feeling, and start questioning it. Do I want something different here? What benefits am I getting from keeping things as they are? Once you identify these patterns, you can begin to challenge them. Remember, you’re not alone on this journey. Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are, and to know, on a deep level, that you’re truly awesome.

In today's episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, we dive deep into the origins of social anxiety and why understanding its roots is crucial for breaking free. Have you ever wondered when and why your social fears started? Whether it began in middle school or as a teenager, this episode unpacks how key moments from the past shape our present behaviors and anxieties.

Dr. Aziz also shares personal insights on his journey with social anxiety and offers guidance on how to shift those limiting beliefs that may be holding you back. Plus, you're invited to a special free masterclass, Three Golden Keys to Solve Social Anxiety, where you can discover practical steps to overcome these fears and start creating a radically different 2025. If you're ready to stop letting social anxiety define you, this episode is for you! Don't forget to visit DrAziz.com to sign up for the masterclass and continue your journey to confidence.


------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes, it's absolutely possible to build your confidence quickly if you approach it the right way. But most people trying to boost their confidence on their own often make a few common mistakes that end up holding them back. As a result, they conclude: “I guess confidence just isn’t for me” or “I’m hopeless.” This leads to them shelving their dreams of being confident and settling for a life of discomfort and self-doubt.

As someone who spent 15 years struggling with low confidence, I’m here to show you the way out. Let’s dive into the three biggest mistakes you might be making—and how to fix them.

1. Avoiding Discomfort

One of the most common mistakes is avoiding discomfort. Many people think that building confidence is just about positive thinking or motivational talk. While that can help, there’s only one surefire way to grow your confidence—facing discomfort head-on.

Confidence grows through action, particularly the kind of action that feels uncomfortable. It’s like building physical fitness: just as lifting heavier weights challenges your muscles to grow stronger, doing things that make you nervous will expand your comfort zone and your confidence.

“Avoiding discomfort shrinks your confidence, while taking action—no matter how small—builds it.”

If you avoid taking risks, like speaking up in a meeting or introducing yourself to someone new, your confidence will stagnate. But by embracing gradual exposure to these challenges, you can grow stronger bit by bit.

2. Relying on Harsh Self-Criticism

The second major mistake people make is trying to motivate themselves through harsh self-talk. You may be familiar with the inner critic, the voice that tells you things like “That wasn’t good enough” or “You’re going to fail.” Many people mistakenly believe that berating themselves will somehow push them to be better. But the truth is, you can’t beat yourself into confidence.

Harsh criticism leads to avoidance and demotivation. Instead, you need to motivate yourself through self-compassion and celebration of small wins. Even if a conversation or task doesn’t go perfectly, it’s essential to acknowledge the effort you put in and the progress you’ve made.

“You can’t beat yourself into confidence. Celebrate your wins, even the small ones.”

3. Lack of Consistency

The final mistake is expecting instant results and then giving up when things don’t change overnight. Confidence isn’t a one-time thing—it’s a skill you need to practice consistently.

Just like you wouldn’t expect to get fit after one or two workouts, you can’t expect lasting confidence after a few attempts. Aim to lean into discomfort at least three times a week. Whether it’s starting a conversation, sharing your ideas, or speaking up at work, taking regular action over time will make all the difference.

A Path Forward: Embrace Gradual, Sustainable Growth

The key to lasting confidence is to be patient with yourself and stick with it over time. Make gradual exposure part of your routine, motivate yourself with self-compassion, and remain consistent in taking small, courageous steps toward growth.

If you want to dive deeper into this process and have a proven roadmap, check out Confidence University. It provides a step-by-step guide, action plans, and support to help you build the confidence you deserve.

Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you are truly awesome.

Are you stuck in a cycle of social anxiety, feeling like it's just part of who you are? In today's episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, we dive deep into the concept of your "social anxiety identity." How much of your identity is wrapped up in social anxiety? Dr. Aziz breaks down how this hidden identity can control your interactions, limit your relationships, and ultimately hold you back in life.

Through real-life examples and actionable steps, you'll learn how to uncover the stories you've been telling yourself and begin to rewrite your identity into one of confidence and ease. Social anxiety doesn’t have to define you or your future.

Also, Dr. Aziz shares details about his upcoming virtual event, End Social Anxiety Now (November 1-3), where you can dive deeper into breaking free from the grip of social anxiety and set yourself up for a radically different 2025. Don’t miss out on early bird pricing! Listen in, and get ready to challenge your identity and take action toward lasting change.

------------------------------------

Do you feel like social anxiety defines who you are? It’s easy to believe that social discomfort is just a part of your personality, but what if that’s not true? What if you’ve unknowingly wrapped your identity around social anxiety, limiting yourself in ways you don’t even realize?

In this podcast, we’ll explore how social anxiety can become part of your identity, why it holds you back, and most importantly, how to break free from it.

Does Social Anxiety Define You?

You might not think about it, but the way you see yourself—your identity—determines much of your behavior. If you have social anxiety, part of your identity might be tied to beliefs like "I’m awkward," or "People don’t want to connect with me." These beliefs are part of what I call a social anxiety identity, and they limit your ability to confidently interact with others.

"The more your identity is one of social anxiety, the more it’s going to affect you and limit your life."

By holding onto this identity, you might avoid social interactions, feel more self-conscious in conversations, and ultimately reinforce the very fear that holds you back.

How Social Anxiety Becomes an Identity

At the root of social anxiety is often a deep belief that something is inherently wrong with you. Maybe you think, “I’m awkward,” or “I’m not good at small talk.” These beliefs fuel the idea that you are more rejectable than others, making social situations feel risky and dangerous.

This identity becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you believe you’re socially awkward, you tend to avoid interactions. And when you avoid interactions, you miss the chance to practice and improve, which reinforces the belief that you’re not good at socializing.

"Your identity is the lens through which you see yourself, and ultimately, how you see the world."

Breaking Free from the Social Anxiety Identity

The good news? This identity is not fixed. You can break free from it with conscious effort and action. Here’s how:

The Path to Social Freedom

Your social anxiety doesn’t have to define you. With the right mindset and actions, you can start to shift your identity and break free from the limitations of fear and self-doubt. Remember, the more you challenge your old identity, the more space you create for a confident, free version of yourself.

"This pattern can change faster than you think."

As you begin this journey, keep reminding yourself that social anxiety is not who you are—it’s just a pattern. And like any pattern, it can be changed. You deserve to live a life filled with connection, confidence, and authenticity.

Ready to make the shift? You’ve got this.