🌟 In this powerful episode of "Shrink for the Shy Guy," Dr. Aziz reveals one of the most effective—yet underused—tools for radically boosting confidence: massive action. Unlike cautious baby steps, massive action invites you to shift into a new gear, override hesitation, and start living instead of waiting. Whether it’s in relationships, career, or everyday interactions, the avoidance cycle keeps you stuck. But when you break that pattern and flood your nervous system with bold, repeated action, transformation happens fast.

Through vivid stories, including a client who skyrocketed her confidence by shifting from one public talk a month to several a week, you’ll learn that confidence isn’t built by hoping or waiting—it’s built by doing. Dr. Aziz walks you through why this works, what resistance might show up, and how to overcome it. You don’t need to be fearless. You just need to take the leap.

🚀 Ready to finally stop avoiding and start becoming the confident, bold version of you? Tune in to this episode now and discover how to unlock the key you've already been holding. Your freedom starts here.


----------------------------------------------

Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in a cage of social anxiety, self-doubt, or people-pleasing? It’s an all-too-common experience. But what if I told you that the key to breaking free and radically transforming your confidence is already in your hands? In this post, we’re diving into one of the most powerful tools you can use to break free from these limitations—and why many people

aren’t using it.

The Secret to Confidence: Massive Action

When it comes to building confidence, the tool I’m about to share might sound simple, but it’s one of the most effective principles I’ve come across in my 20+ years of personal growth and helping others. It’s based on both real-life experience and research, and it’s been proven to work.

So, what’s the tool? Massive action.

Sounds pretty intense, right? But here’s the thing: the key to getting out of your comfort zone and into a place of true self-assurance is by moving towards what scares you with intensity and urgency. The more we avoid the things that scare us, the stronger our anxiety and self-doubt become. The more we step into those fears, the more our confidence grows.

Why We Avoid: The Cycle of Self-Doubt

We all know the feeling of wanting to avoid situations that make us anxious—whether it’s speaking up in a meeting, confronting someone in a relationship, or going after a big career opportunity. When we avoid, the anxiety increases, and we lose a little bit of our sense of power. This creates a negative cycle that only deepens the fear and self-doubt. We’re trapped.

The other side of the equation is approach: moving towards the things that scare us. When we push through the fear and face it, we start to see that our negative predictions about the situation—“It’s going to go horribly”—are often not true. And with each small victory, we start building a new identity for ourselves: I can do this. I am capable.

Why Massive Action Is the Answer

Here’s where massive action comes in. You see, sometimes gradual steps just aren’t enough to create the breakthrough you need. If you’ve been tiptoeing around your fears for months, you might need to flip the script entirely. Massive action—doing things in larger, bolder doses—is what creates momentum.

For example, let’s say you’re trying to overcome public speaking anxiety. Instead of signing up for one Toastmasters event every few weeks, what if you committed to speaking in front of an audience three times a week? I know, it sounds crazy, but the intensity of this action creates a level of momentum that gradual exposure just can’t match. You’ll short-circuit your fear and push yourself to the edge of what you thought was possible.

The Energy Shift: Going from Defense to Offense

When you move towards your fears with massive action, you shift from defense mode—where you’re guarding yourself against discomfort and uncertainty—to offense mode, where you’re actively creating the life you want. This energetic shift is what fuels confidence, and it’s what makes you attractive to others.

It’s not about pretending you’re perfect or that you’ve got it all together. It’s about owning your value, showing up fully, and knowing that you’ve got what it takes to handle whatever comes your way.

The Results of Massive Action

Imagine the person who walks into a room with self-assurance—not because they’re the most polished or the most put-together, but because they’ve faced their fears, taken bold action, and no longer let the “I’m not enough” feeling control their life.

Here’s the thing: The key to building confidence is taking action even when you don’t feel ready. That’s when the magic happens. You begin to see that the world doesn’t revolve around your fear of being “not enough”—it revolves around the action you’re willing to take, regardless of how you feel.

Your Action Step: Choose Massive Action

So, what’s next? It’s time to decide how you’re going to move forward. You have two options:

Prepare for massive action: Take a few more small steps, build your momentum, and get ready to make a bigger leap.

Take massive action now: If you feel ready, dive in headfirst and face your fears with urgency and intensity.

The choice is yours, but know this: If you want to create the life you deserve, massive action is required. This isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up and taking bold steps toward your future.

Final Thoughts: You Are Enough

The biggest lie that holds people back is that they’re not enough. But the truth is, you are enough right now. What’s holding you back is the fear and the stories you’ve been telling yourself. Let’s break those stories and start taking massive action to create the life you’ve always wanted.

Remember, you’re not alone on this journey. You have the tools, the support, and the power to shift your life. It’s time to claim it.

Own Your Confidence: Be Unapologetically You!

A glimpse from the latest episode of Get Your Sh*t Together Show with the special guest Dr. Aziz hosted by Amy Joy.

Watch the full episode here.

Welcome to today’s episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy with Dr. Aziz — and today we’re going straight into one of the most common, painful, and persistent feelings that quietly runs so many lives:

👉 “I’m not enough.”

This episode is for you if you’ve ever:

🎯 Dr. Aziz breaks down:

If you're ready to stop being controlled by this invisible wall of “not enough,” tune in now and take back your freedom.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ever catch yourself thinking, "I'm not good enough"? It's a common thought that can keep us stuck, whether we're pursuing relationships, career opportunities, or even personal growth. This persistent feeling of inadequacy can impact your confidence and stop you from taking bold actions. In this post, I'll share how to recognize this feeling, understand it, and break free from its grip, allowing you to create a life where you feel truly empowered and worthy.

Understanding the "Not Enough" Feeling

First things first: you are not alone. The feeling of “not enough” is a deeply human experience, and almost everyone grapples with it at some point in their lives. Whether it’s in relationships, career, or personal achievements, the fear of not being “enough” leads to a variety of behaviors and mindsets.

So, what makes this feeling so powerful? It's rooted in the fear of loss—loss of love, connection, respect, or even survival. If I’m not enough, then I’ll lose something important, like love or worthiness. The key here is recognizing that this fear is not reality. It’s simply an emotional response to uncertainty, and once we understand that, we can begin to take control.

Why "Proving Enough" Doesn't Work

Most of us try to fix the “not enough” feeling by doing more. We hustle, work harder, or try to accumulate external symbols of success—titles, possessions, or achievements. The goal? To prove that we are worthy.

But here’s the catch: doing more doesn’t make you enough. It’s an endless cycle. You can’t hustle your way to self-worth because the feeling of not being enough is never truly satisfied by external validation. Even once you achieve one goal, the sense of inadequacy may still linger. Real confidence doesn’t come from what you do; it comes from who you are.

A Powerful Shift: Own Your Value

What if you could break the cycle? The real secret to overcoming the “not enough” feeling is to own your value—not based on what you’ve done, but simply because you exist.

Here’s the truth: Confidence comes from within. It’s about showing up with a mindset of abundance. When you believe that you are worthy, you stop feeling like you need to prove yourself to others. You begin to approach life with a healthy mindset, knowing that you are enough as you are.

“Your energy is what makes you attractive—not your appearance, not your possessions, but the way you show up in the world.” — Dr. Aziz

When you stop operating from a place of scarcity (like "I’m not good enough"), you become magnetic. You attract people, opportunities, and experiences because your energy exudes self-assurance and worth.

The Power of Feeling Insecure (And Letting It Pass)

One of the most powerful lessons you can learn is to feel your feelings instead of trying to avoid or suppress them. The feeling of “not enough” is simply a temporary emotional experience—it doesn’t define you. When you can create space for that feeling without needing to fix it, you break free from its control.

Imagine a scenario where you feel insecure. Instead of getting caught in a loop of negative self-talk or trying to do more to prove yourself, allow yourself to feel the insecurity. Name it: “This is the feeling of insecurity.” Let it pass through you without clinging to it. Over time, this practice will reduce its power over you and make you more resilient.

“The more you embrace feelings of insecurity, the more you free yourself from their control.” — Dr. Aziz

Final Thoughts: You Are Enough

The next time you feel like you’re not enough, remember: it’s just a feeling, not a reflection of your worth. By practicing self-awareness and embracing your emotions, you can overcome this limiting belief and step into your true confidence.

Take a moment today to remind yourself: You are enough.

Welcome to today’s episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy with Dr. Aziz! We’re diving into one of the most universal — and often hidden — fears that drives social anxiety, people-pleasing, and holding back your authentic self:

👉 What if they don’t like me?

Whether it shows up in your relationships, your inbox, at work, or stops you from sharing your ideas and creative work with the world — this fear can run your life if left unchecked.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

How fear of judgment and rejection hides behind stress, email anxiety, and overthinking

Why being “thick-skinned” isn’t the answer (and what to do instead)

A powerful metaphor to help you release other people’s negativity without taking it on

The truth about being sensitive — and why it might actually be your superpower

How to stop living in fear of upsetting others and start showing up fully you

This one’s loaded with humor, honesty, and deep insights to help you finally break the spell of needing everyone to like you. Let’s get free.


-----------------------------------------------------

Do you ever find yourself constantly worrying about what others think? Maybe you're hesitant to speak your mind or take action, fearing rejection or judgment. If you're nodding along, you're not alone. Many of us struggle with the desire to please others and avoid conflict, but the good news is, you can break free from this cycle and become the most authentic version of yourself.

One of the biggest obstacles to living authentically is the fear of being disliked or upsetting others. You may find yourself bending over backward to keep the peace, saying "yes" when you want to say "no," or avoiding difficult conversations altogether. But here's the truth: this constant effort to manage others' perceptions is draining, and it doesn't bring lasting peace or fulfillment.

As Dr. Aziz shares, this behavior is often rooted in a fear of being rejected or disliked. Whether it's a colleague, a family member, or a stranger, the thought of someone not approving of us can cause anxiety and paralysis. And while it’s natural to care about what others think, letting this fear control you leads to missed opportunities for growth, connection, and authenticity.

"You can’t live authentically if you’re constantly adjusting yourself to fit others' expectations." — Dr. Aziz

The first step to overcoming people-pleasing is to recognize the fear that’s driving your actions. Often, this fear isn’t obvious. It may show up as anxiety about a social interaction or a sense of dread about a potential conflict. You might feel this as tightness in your chest or a racing mind, trying to predict what others will think of you.

Ask yourself: What am I afraid of? Are you worried that someone will be upset with you, or that they’ll think poorly of you? Getting clear on the root of your fear is key to dismantling it. Recognize that these fears are often exaggerated and not as harmful as they may seem in your mind.

One powerful insight Dr. Aziz shares is the importance of acknowledging your sensitivity. It’s easy to see sensitivity as a weakness, but the truth is, it’s a superpower. It allows you to connect deeply with others and perceive emotions and nuances that others might miss.

For Dr. Aziz, recognizing his own sensitivity was a turning point in his journey toward authenticity. Once he embraced this part of himself, he found it easier to connect with others on a deeper level. By seeing sensitivity as a gift, not a burden, you can stop avoiding difficult situations or suppressing your true self.

"Sensitivity is not a weakness. It’s a form of responsiveness to life and a superpower if you let it be." — Dr. Aziz

Here’s the hardest part: you don’t need to control other people's feelings. This realization is freeing. Often, our desire to please comes from a deep need to control how others perceive us or how they feel in any given moment. But the truth is, you cannot control others' emotions or reactions.

Dr. Aziz encourages us to imagine ourselves as a vapor—soft, fluid, and not attached to any one thing. When someone gets upset with you, instead of bracing yourself and trying to protect your identity, let the feeling pass through you. "Let it move right through. There’s nothing for it to hold on to."

Your action step today is to practice letting go of the need to control how others feel. When you encounter a situation where you're worried about someone's reaction or judgment, visualize yourself as vapor, creating space around you. Let that feeling of discomfort move through you without holding on to it. This will help you become more present in the moment and less consumed by fear.

Remember, every time you choose authenticity over people-pleasing, you're building confidence. Confidence doesn’t come from pretending to be someone you’re not; it comes from embracing who you truly are.

As Dr. Aziz says, confidence is a byproduct of action. When you take action—whether it’s in social situations, your career, or relationships—you’ll find that your confidence grows, naturally. You can stop worrying about pleasing others and start living life authentically.

By acknowledging your fears, embracing your sensitivity, and letting go of the need to control how others feel, you’ll free yourself from the shackles of people-pleasing. It’s time to step into your true self and embrace the freedom that comes with being authentically you.

You are worthy. You are enough. And you are awesome just as you are. Keep taking bold action and know that every step you take toward authenticity is a step toward true freedom.

Welcome to today’s episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy with Dr. Aziz! If you’ve ever felt stuck, procrastinated, or told yourself “I should…” but still didn’t follow through — this episode is for you.

Dr. Aziz reveals the three powerful secrets to breaking out of avoidance and finally taking the action you know will move your life forward. Whether it’s social confidence, career growth, health habits, or daily routines — it all comes back to one key truth:

Confidence is a byproduct of action.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

Why resistance, groaning, and procrastination are totally normal (and how to break through them)

The surprising way your identity story might be keeping you stuck

How to use pain as powerful leverage (yes, really!)

The missing piece that makes it way easier to follow through

Why pleasure in the future is the key to taking action today

Dr. Aziz also shares his personal story of emotional pain, transformation, and how one pivotal night in his 20s changed everything. If you're ready to overcome avoidance and create a life that energizes and fulfills you, this episode will give you both the mindset and momentum to start now.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do you often find yourself stuck in the cycle of procrastination, avoiding tasks that you know could improve your life? Whether it's taking social risks, having difficult conversations, or simply getting things done, we all face moments when it feels impossible to take action. In this post, I’m going to reveal the three secrets to breaking free from inaction and boosting your confidence.

Secret #1: Recognize the Pattern

The first step in overcoming procrastination and avoidance is to recognize the cycle you’re in. It often starts with the feeling of fear—fear of failure, fear of judgment, or fear of discomfort. You know you should act, but instead, you avoid the task. You tell yourself “I should,” but you don’t follow through. This internal tension leads to resistance, and eventually, you may find yourself stuck in a negative identity—thinking of yourself as someone who just can’t follow through or is too scared to act.

The first secret is to notice this pattern. Acknowledge that you’re caught in it and make the decision to do something different. The more you notice it, the more you can break free from it and start acting from a place of empowerment, not fear.

"Confidence is a byproduct of action. You won’t feel confident until you take action." — Dr. Aziz

Secret #2: Use Pain as Leverage

Pain is one of the most powerful motivators for action. In fact, research shows that we are twice as motivated by pain as we are by pleasure. The key is to leverage pain in a constructive way.

Ask yourself: What is the cost of inaction? If you keep avoiding something, where will it take you? In the case of social anxiety, it might be loneliness or missed career opportunities. By focusing on the pain of staying stuck, you can create a sense of urgency and motivate yourself to act.

However, it's essential to not get lost in despair when reflecting on this pain. Instead, take ownership of the situation and realize that you can change things. When the pain of staying where you are exceeds the fear of the unknown, you’ll finally take the leap.

Secret #3: Focus on the Pleasure of Action

While pain can push you to act, pleasure is what will keep you going. We often resist action because we focus on the discomfort of getting started, but if you shift your focus to the benefits of taking action, you’ll find yourself motivated.

For example, if you’re avoiding a workout because it feels hard to start, remind yourself of how good you’ll feel afterward—the energy, the sense of accomplishment, the pride in doing something for yourself. By training your mind to see the pleasure on the other side, you’ll feel more compelled to take action.

"Are you willing to be uncomfortable now to experience the extraordinary in your life?" — Dr. Aziz

Taking Action: Your Next Step

Now that you know the three secrets to taking action, it’s time to put them into practice. Start by recognizing the patterns that hold you back, use pain and pleasure to motivate yourself, and take action even when it feels uncomfortable.

If you want to make real progress in your life, the key is consistent action. The more you act, the more confidence you’ll build. It’s time to break free from the cycle of procrastination and start living boldly.

Remember, confidence comes from doing—not waiting for the perfect moment or feeling ready. Take action today, and watch your confidence grow! You are capable of so much more than you realize. Keep going, and you'll soon be amazed at how far you can go.

In today’s episode, Dr. Aziz dives deep into the hidden cycle that fuels your worry and anxiety—especially when it comes to social situations, work, dating, money, health, and more. If you’ve ever wondered why anxiety keeps coming back despite trying tools like affirmations, meditation, or even medication, this episode is for you.

You’ll discover:

Dr. Aziz reveals how recognizing this cycle (Fear → Urge to Do → Prevent the Bad → Avoid Pain → More Fear) can unlock lasting freedom and peace. Tune in now and take the first step toward living with more presence, ease, and inner confidence.

🎧 Ready to finally stop fighting anxiety and start living? Press play now.

------------------------------------------

Have you ever found yourself caught in an endless loop of worry and anxiety? Maybe you're overthinking conversations, feeling uneasy about upcoming events, or imagining worst-case scenarios. This constant cycle of fear and worry can feel overwhelming, but there’s a way out.

In today’s post, we’re diving deep into how anxiety works and, more importantly, how you can start breaking free from it. Let’s explore how to stop worrying, be more present, and create lasting peace of mind.

The Anxiety Cycle: Fear, Action, and Pain

It all starts with fear—the feeling we all know too well. When we feel anxious, whether it’s about a social situation, work stress, or personal struggles, we experience fear. It’s that tightness in your chest, the flutter in your stomach, or the constant, buzzing thoughts in your head. The immediate reaction to this fear is often the urge to do something—anything to make it stop. We might try to control the situation, over-prepare, or replay conversations in our minds, trying to plan every possible outcome.

This urgency to act comes from the desire to avoid pain. Whether it’s the emotional pain of rejection, embarrassment, or failure, we act to prevent those outcomes. But the irony is, the more we try to control and avoid pain, the more we trap ourselves in this cycle.

"Fear leads to the urge to do something, which is often about preventing bad outcomes. But what are we really protecting ourselves from? Pain."

What Happens Next?

Once we’ve acted or worried about acting, we eventually arrive at the one thing we’ve been trying to avoid—pain. It could be the pain of failure, rejection, or even just the discomfort of uncertainty. And here’s the twist: we’re so afraid of pain that we spend most of our energy trying to protect ourselves from it.

But what if we stopped trying to avoid pain altogether? What if, instead of controlling, we embraced impermanence and allowed ourselves to experience life’s inevitable ups and downs? As Buddhist teachings remind us, everything in life changes, including pain. The pain we fear is often temporary, and yet, we treat it like a permanent threat.

"The fear of pain keeps us stuck in a cycle of worry and control. But what if we embraced the fact that pain, like everything else, is temporary?"

Breaking the Cycle: The Power of Observation

So how do we break this cycle? It starts with observation. The first step is noticing where you are in the cycle of anxiety. Are you stuck in fear, urgently trying to do something? Are you trying to protect yourself from pain or a bad outcome? By becoming aware of these patterns, you can begin to step out of the cycle.

Next, try to soften the need for control. Recognize that, while some things in life are out of your hands, this doesn’t mean you’re powerless. You don’t need to control every outcome to feel okay. You can still act, but from a place of inspiration, not fear. Start practicing this mindset shift by simply observing your thoughts and reactions when anxiety arises.

"By observing the cycle of fear, action, and pain, we can break free from the need to control and start embracing life's natural flow."

The Action Step: Embrace the Impermanence of Pain

As your action step today, when you notice anxiety or worry creeping in, pause and ask yourself: “What am I trying to control? Am I trying to prevent pain or avoid something that might not even happen?” Recognize that life is full of ups and downs, and some of the pain we fear is inevitable. But that doesn’t mean we can’t navigate it with peace and resilience.

Instead of reacting out of fear, act from a place of acceptance and curiosity. It’s okay to feel discomfort or uncertainty. By embracing this, you’ll free yourself from the constant cycle of worry and begin to live more fully in the present.

In today’s episode, we continue the powerful conversation on overcoming the illusion that you’re "not where you should be" in life.

Dr. Aziz shares the fundamental error that keeps you stuck in feelings of inadequacy and pressure—and reveals a new way to free yourself from that cycle.

You'll discover:

-Why your circumstances don’t have to define your happiness
-The key shift that allows you to feel fulfilled now instead of waiting for external success
-A powerful action step to release the pressure and step into self-compassion

This episode is about reclaiming your confidence, finding peace in the present, and fueling sustainable success from a place of self-acceptance.


---------------------------------------------------

 Do you feel like you’re stuck in a rut, endlessly comparing yourself to others, convinced you’re not where you should be in life? If so, you're not alone. In this episode, Dr. Aziz shares some life-changing insights that will help you stop feeling inadequate and reclaim your peace of mind.

The Illusion of "Where You Should Be"

Many of us are burdened by a feeling that we’re not living up to some societal standard. You might think: “I should be in a relationship by now,” or “I should have more money, a better job, a better house.” These thoughts weigh heavily on your self-esteem, leading you to feel less than, inadequate, and even ashamed. Dr. Aziz calls this the “fundamental error”: thinking that in order to feel okay, something in your life circumstances must change.

“The solution is not in the circumstances. It's not out there. It's inside you.”
This erroneous belief that something outside of us needs to change before we can feel peace is a major source of unnecessary suffering. When you feel like you're not enough as you are, you either shut down or try desperately to change everything all at once—and it still doesn't bring the fulfillment you seek.

The Real Problem: Self-Gaslighting

You might not even realize it, but when you feel like you're not where you should be in life, you're often gaslighting yourself. Dr. Aziz describes this as a cycle of comparing yourself to others and convincing yourself that you’re not enough. Your inner “safety police” tells you to stay small to avoid risk—fear of failure, rejection, or criticism keeps you paralyzed.

“I need something to be different right now in order to feel okay. But what if you don’t?”
This thought trap is designed to keep you from taking risks and living authentically. The truth is, nothing will change in a lasting way until you shift your inner dialogue and stop waiting for circumstances to be perfect before you feel okay.

The Answer: Self-Compassion and Present Awareness

How can you break free from this cycle? The solution lies in self-compassion. It’s essential to start being kind to yourself and slow down. Take a moment to tune into the feelings of frustration, inadequacy, or longing—and be curious about them rather than trying to eliminate them.

“Move towards the pain with curiosity and compassion. That’s the key to healing.”
When you can sit with your discomfort without judgment, you begin to fill the inner void that you’ve been desperately trying to fill with external circumstances. It’s about becoming your own best friend, your own inner champion.

The Action Step: Challenge the Stories

Here’s your action step for today: Start noticing the stories you tell yourself about what you need in order to feel okay. Ask yourself, “Is it true that I need this specific thing in my life to feel happy?” What if, just for today, you let go of the need for perfection and simply embraced where you are?

By practicing this, you will slowly dismantle the false belief that you need something external to feel worthy or fulfilled. And when you do this consistently, you'll start to feel empowered to take action from a place of self-acceptance, rather than desperation.

Final Thoughts: Freedom Awaits

You don’t have to wait for the perfect life circumstances to feel at peace. When you practice self-compassion and shift your mindset, you open the door to greater confidence and the ability to create the life you desire.

You are already worthy. Start taking small steps today, and before you know it, you’ll be well on your way to living the life you deserve. Remember: You’re awesome just as you are.

Do you ever feel like you're behind in life? Like you're not where you should be? In today’s episode, Dr. Aziz dives deep into the unconscious programming that fuels this feeling and how to break free from it.

You'll learn:

This episode is all about reclaiming control over your life, challenging the "drummer in the back of the bus," and finding joy before you reach the next milestone.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------    

Have you ever felt like you're not where you should be in life? Like there's a destination you're supposed to reach, but no matter how hard you try, it feels out of your grasp? You’re not alone. Many of us have faced these feelings of inadequacy, discouragement, or frustration when we feel that we haven't achieved everything we thought we would by a certain age or stage in life. In this episode, we’ll explore why that happens and how to break free from these limiting beliefs to get to where you want to be—both in life and in your inner world.

The Unconscious Forces at Play

We often think we’re in control of our lives. After all, we make decisions, set goals, and take action. But have you ever caught yourself doing something you didn’t plan to do? Maybe eating something late at night you didn’t even want, or acting out of frustration when you didn’t mean to? If you’ve experienced this, you’ve been influenced by unconscious forces that are driving your behavior without you even realizing it.

Carl Jung famously said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” This means that the patterns, beliefs, and conditioning we’ve developed throughout our lives are often controlling us, guiding us in ways that might not be aligned with our true desires.

The Drummer in the Back of the Bus

Think of your life as a bus, and you are the driver. But here’s the catch: you're not driving alone. There's a whole group of characters in the back of the bus, influencing your decisions. These characters are your unconscious programming—the messages you've absorbed from society, family, and past experiences. Some of these voices might tell you that you're not good enough, not successful enough, or that you’re falling behind in life.

Imagine one of the voices on the bus is the "drummer"—the voice that constantly beats the rhythm of what's wrong, what's missing, and what you should have done by now. It’s the voice that says, "You should have achieved more by now" or "You need to be in a relationship to be happy."

The problem is, these unconscious voices drive us to make decisions based on fear and inadequacy. We feel the pressure to be perfect and chase after what society says we should want, but often, these desires are culturally conditioned and not entirely our own.

Shifting from Fear to Freedom

How do you break free from the constant chatter of this internal drummer? The first step is awareness. You need to listen to the voices that tell you you’re not where you should be, and ask them questions.

What do you want me to do? Why do I need to achieve this specific thing to feel okay? By bringing attention to these voices, you start to question whether they are truly yours, or if they're just a product of your upbringing or societal expectations.

Once you understand these voices are not the truth of who you are, you can begin to quiet them. And here's the key: true freedom comes when you recognize that you don’t need to achieve or have everything in place to be happy. The pressure to be perfect, to meet certain external standards, is what keeps you stuck in a cycle of self-criticism and frustration.

Your Action Step

This week, take some time to listen to the drummer in the back of your bus. Pay attention to the voice that tells you you're not enough. Write down what it says. Then, question it. Challenge its validity. Is it really true? Can you still be happy without meeting those external standards?

The more you do this, the more you’ll create space for your true self to emerge. You don’t need to meet every external expectation to feel worthy. True growth comes from aligning with your authentic desires, not from chasing what others expect of you.

In the next episode, we’ll explore how to liberate yourself from this inner conflict and step into a life filled with joy and authenticity.

Stay tuned for more!

Are you constantly worried about hurting other people’s feelings? Does this fear keep you from speaking up, setting boundaries, or asking for what you really want? In today’s episode, Dr. Aziz breaks down how this pattern of over-cautiousness can actually be harming you—and how to shift into a healthier, more authentic way of being.

You’ll learn the crucial difference between hurting and harming others, how to release unnecessary guilt, and why disappointing people is a normal and necessary part of life. If you’ve ever struggled with people-pleasing, this episode is your invitation to break free.

--------------------------------------------------

Today, we’re diving into a fear that many of us struggle with: the fear of hurting others. Whether it’s in relationships, work, or social settings, many people worry about causing discomfort for others, and in doing so, end up hurting themselves. Let’s explore how this fear works and how to break free from it to become more authentically you.

The Difference Between Hurting and Harming

It’s natural to care about how others feel and want to avoid causing harm, but we often confuse hurting someone with harming them. Hurting is an emotional reaction—someone might feel upset or disappointed by something we say or do. Harming, on the other hand, is when we intentionally cause damage, like bullying or being cruel on purpose.

For example, in a situation where someone misses a deadline at work, saying something like, “You were supposed to get this to me by Thursday. It's now Friday, and it’s not up to standard,” might cause them to feel hurt, but it’s not harmful. It’s an honest expression of what happened. But many of us avoid doing this because we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.

The Fear That Holds Us Back

The real issue comes when we fear causing any discomfort or disappointment in others. We avoid honest conversations because we think it might hurt someone’s feelings, and in the process, we become stuck in a cycle of people-pleasing. This happens often in romantic relationships. You might avoid telling your partner what you truly want to do on the weekend because you don’t want to disappoint them. Maybe you say yes to something you don’t want to do just to keep the peace. But in the long run, this doesn’t serve anyone. You’re suffocating your own needs while sacrificing your well-being to avoid a moment of discomfort for the other person.

The Myth of Perfection in Relationships

A significant part of this fear is rooted in the belief that we must always keep others happy. This stems from an unrealistic expectation that we should never disappoint or upset anyone. However, the reality is that healthy relationships—whether romantic, platonic, or professional—are built on honesty and boundaries, not on never causing anyone any discomfort.

I once had a client who feared expressing his needs to his spouse because he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. This fear ultimately hurt him and their relationship. He wasn’t able to share his preferences and, in turn, felt like he wasn’t being true to himself. And the irony is that when we deny ourselves, it doesn’t lead to harmony—it creates inner resentment and can damage relationships in the long run.

Shifting Your Perspective

Here’s the truth: you don’t need to be afraid of causing discomfort. Discomfort is a natural part of any relationship. It’s a signal that we are growing, evolving, and being real with each other. Instead of fearing it, we need to embrace it. When you stop overthinking and start being honest, you allow space for true connection and authenticity to thrive.

Your Action Step: Embrace Discomfort

Your action step is to start small. Identify one thing you’ve been holding back—something you’ve been avoiding because you’re afraid it might hurt someone’s feelings. Maybe it’s a boundary you need to set or a desire you haven’t expressed. Whatever it is, take that step today. If guilt arises, that’s okay. Remember, you’re not trying to harm anyone. You’re simply honoring your own needs and feelings.

The more you practice this, the more natural it will become. You'll begin to realize that it's not about being mean; it’s about being true to yourself, and this leads to stronger, more authentic relationships.

By shifting your mindset and embracing your true self, you’ll create deeper, more meaningful connections and start living with freedom. You’re allowed to take up space, express your needs, and set boundaries without feeling guilty. Start today and watch the transformation unfold.

Feeling stuck, frustrated, or like nothing you're doing is working? Discouragement is part of every growth journey—but how you handle it determines whether you break through or give up.

In this episode, Dr. Aziz reveals the hidden reasons why we feel discouraged and how your mind is wired to shut you down when challenges arise. Learn the powerful questions you must ask yourself to shift from discouraged to determined and keep making progress toward your goals.

If you've ever felt like giving up, listen now—this episode could change everything.

------------------

We’ve all been there: feeling excited, optimistic, and ready to take on the world, only to face moments of discouragement. The truth is, on any growth journey, there will be highs and lows. The key to lasting success lies not in avoiding those lows but in how you handle them when they come.

The Power of Staying in the Game

Just like in investing, success in confidence-building isn’t about timing the market—it's about time in the market. In other words, consistency is what matters. If you’re committed to growing your confidence, it’s not about doing something quickly and checking it off your list. It’s about staying in the process, even when things get tough.

But here’s the catch: the more action you take, the more likely you are to face discouragement. That’s by design. When you start actively putting yourself out there—whether it’s in dating, your career, or speaking up more in meetings—you open yourself up to setbacks. And when those setbacks happen, that discouragement can feel like a ton of bricks.

Why Does Discouragement Hit So Hard?

Discouragement hits hardest when you start to face your fears and take risks. When you’re playing it safe, like I did in my own life during my battle with social anxiety, you can avoid discouragement. But once you start stepping up, putting yourself out there, and truly engaging in the process, discouragement is inevitable. Why? Because there’s a part of you—the safety police—that wants to avoid discomfort at all costs. When you try something new, especially if it’s a risk, that part of you freaks out and says, Whoa, stop, stay small, stay safe.

That’s when the discouragement feels so intense. It’s designed to make you stop, retreat, and never try again.

Shifting Your Response to Discouragement

Here’s the crucial point: How you respond to discouragement will determine how far you go on your confidence journey. If you give in to it and retreat, you’ll never see the growth you want. But if you can push through and keep going, that’s when the real transformation happens.

To break through discouragement, here’s what you need to do:

Name What’s Happening: When you feel discouraged, recognize it for what it is. Acknowledge that the discouragement is real but doesn’t define you. It's just part of the process.

Get Compassionate with Yourself: Take a moment to connect with yourself. Put one hand on your chest, one on your belly, and take deep breaths. Acknowledge the discouragement with compassion—Yeah, it feels tough right now, but that doesn’t mean I’m stuck. Then, shift your focus.

Ask the Key Questions:

The power of answering these questions lies in the fact that when you connect with your deeper values and purpose, your discouragement fades into determination.

Your Action Step

If you're feeling discouraged right now, perfect timing—this is exactly when you can apply these tools. Take a moment to ask yourself: What’s a goal I really care about? Answer the questions above honestly. The more connected you are to your “why,” the stronger your resolve will be to push through challenges.

If you’re not feeling discouraged at the moment, think of a goal you’ve been working on, and run yourself through the same process. You’ll be amazed at how clarity and determination come flooding back.

The road to confidence isn’t always easy, but when you stay in the game and choose to keep going, you’ll look back and be amazed at how far you’ve come. Keep going, and don’t give up—you’re building something extraordinary.