In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz issues a bold 7-day challenge that just might transform your confidence: stop apologizing. Not when you bump into someone, but the deeper, more compulsive “I’m sorry” that leaks out when you speak up, have needs, or reveal who you are.

If you’ve ever found yourself saying “Sorry to bother you” or “I’m sorry, that was probably too much…”—this episode is for you. Dr. Aziz reveals why chronic apologizing isn't just a bad habit—it's a deep, unconscious signal that says “I’m not allowed to exist as I am.” You’ll learn how these little apologies sap your power, disconnect you from others, and reinforce toxic self-doubt.

Packed with stories, humor, and a clear 7-day “apology fast” experiment, this conversation will help you ditch the reflex, reclaim your voice, and show up unapologetically real.

Ready to stop shrinking and start owning your space? Tune in now and begin your 7-day confidence reboot.



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How many times did you apologize today?

If you’re like most people, it’s probably more than you realize. “I’m sorry” slips out when we bump into someone, when we speak up, when we share something personal, and when we even exist in a way that might inconvenience someone.

But here’s the truth: you’re not being polite—you’re being powerless.

For one week, I want to challenge you to stop apologizing unnecessarily. What happens next might shock you.

The Addiction You Don’t Realize You Have

Over-apologizing feels harmless—like good manners. But in reality, it’s an emotional addiction.

Every “I’m sorry” is a tiny attempt to soothe discomfort. You’re trying to make sure no one’s upset, that no one disapproves, that everyone’s okay with you.

It’s a self-soothing reflex, just like reaching for sugar or scrolling endlessly on your phone. It gives you a micro-hit of safety… at the cost of your power.

The moment you say “sorry” when you’ve done nothing wrong, you send a subconscious message to yourself:

“I’m a problem. I shouldn’t exist this way.”

And you don’t just say it once—you reinforce it dozens of times a day.

The Cost of Compulsive Apologizing

At best, this habit makes you seem uncertain. At worst, it damages your confidence and your relationships.

When you apologize for having an opinion, for asking a question, or simply for speaking up, people don’t feel more comfortable around you—they feel disconnected.

It’s like you shared a genuine moment, and then poured cold water all over it.

I’ve seen clients apologize for being seen:

“I’m sorry, I know I’m talking too much.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you.”

But when you say sorry for simply being human, what you’re really saying is: “I’m sorry for who I am.”

And that is the one apology you must stop making—forever.

The 7-Day Apology Fast

Let’s make this practical. For the next seven days, go on what I call an Apology Fast.

That doesn’t mean you never apologize. Real apologies—where you’ve acted outside your values or hurt someone are powerful and healing.

But all the other ones? The nervous, automatic, I just want you to like me apologies? Those go.

Here’s how:

Notice it. Catch yourself the moment you say “sorry.”

Interrupt it. Imagine the gentle but firm correction: “Ah-ah. Leave it.” (Yes, like training a puppy!)

Replace it. Instead of “sorry,” say something direct and grounded. Try “thank you for your patience,” “excuse me,” or simply say nothing at all.

Keep score. See if you can reduce your unnecessary apologies each day.

The Real Transformation

When you stop apologizing for existing, something beautiful happens:
You start to take up space.
You start to feel solid.
You start to respect yourself.

And that shift ripples outward. People listen more closely. You speak more clearly. You move through the world as someone who knows—deeply—that they belong.

So, for seven days, no unnecessary “I’m sorry.”
Just you unfiltered, unapologetic, and free.

Because confidence doesn’t come from being perfect.
It comes from finally realizing you have nothing to apologize for.

In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz shares the Top 3 Keys from the Extremely Confident Conversation Master Training—a powerful 3‑day virtual workshop designed to help you break free from self‑doubt, deepen real connections, and show up fully as yourself. Whether you attended the event or missed it, this episode distills the most transformative takeaways you can apply right now to create more ease, connection, and confidence in every conversation.

Discover how to reignite your natural desire for connection, rebuild your innate capacity for authentic conversation, and dissolve the illusion that you don’t belong. Dr. Aziz reveals why connection is not optional—it’s essential—and how to overcome the hidden beliefs and fears that keep your heart closed or your confidence limited.

Packed with humor, stories, and actionable insights, this episode invites you to open your heart, take bold social risks, and remember that you already belong.

🎧 Ready to unlock deeper connection and social freedom? Tune in now to Shrink for the Shy Guy and discover the 3 keys that can change how you show up in every conversation.



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What if connection isn’t something you have to earn… but something you already deserve?

Most people spend their whole lives trying to “get better” at talking to others—learning the right things to say, the right tone, and the right body language. But at the root, confidence in connection has nothing to do with perfect lines or tricks. It’s about how open your heart is, how much you trust yourself, and whether you believe you belong.

After teaching my Supremely Confident Conversation Master workshop for the seventh time, three powerful lessons stood out that will change how you relate to everyone—from strangers to soulmates.

1. You Have to Want It

You can’t create real connection if you’ve convinced yourself you don’t need it.

Maybe you’ve been hurt before. Maybe you got rejected, ghosted, or left behind. Somewhere along the line, you told yourself, “I’m fine alone.” But that story isn’t strength—it’s self-protection.

Connection is not optional. It’s essential.
Just like your body needs water, your soul needs genuine human connection. When you shut that part of yourself down, you start to feel the symptoms: emptiness, numbness, endless scrolling, constant distraction.

When you wake up to that truth, something inside reignites. That quiet hunger to feel seen, heard, and loved—it’s still there. You just have to admit it’s real.

2. Your Capacity for Connection Is Innate

You don’t need to “learn” how to talk to people—you were born with the ability to connect.

If you’ve ever laughed with a friend, comforted someone in pain, or told a story that lit up a room, that’s it. That’s the real you. Somewhere along the way, fear, criticism, or trauma might’ve dimmed it—but it’s still in there.

When I see people go from isolated and anxious on Day 1 of my workshop to laughing and connecting effortlessly by Day 3, it’s not because they learned a few “social tricks.” It’s because they remembered who they were before fear took over.

Like learning to walk again, it takes a little practice. You might wobble at first, but once you remember how natural it feels, it becomes effortless.
You already have everything you need.

3. You Belong Everywhere You Go

The deepest illusion of social anxiety is the belief that you don’t belong.

You can be surrounded by people who welcome you—and still feel like an outsider. But belonging isn’t something others give you. It’s something you choose.

When that voice says, “I don’t fit in,” challenge it.
Ask, “What if I already do?”

At the event, we practiced a simple phrase:
“I belong at every table.”

Say it until it feels less like a lie and more like a truth waiting to surface. Because when you act as if you belong, something miraculous happens—people start responding to you as if you do.

You Don’t Have to Wait to Be Ready

If you’ve been waiting to “feel confident” before taking action—stop waiting.
Confidence doesn’t come before connection. Connection builds confidence.

Take one small step today. Say hi. Ask a question. Share a story. Take a risk.
You might stumble—but you’ll also start to feel alive again.

Because you do belong.
Everywhere you go.

In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz reveals the surprising antidote to anxiety—and it’s not a breathing trick, mindset hack, or self-soothing technique. It’s something much deeper, much more powerful... and much more liberating.

If you’ve ever struggled with social anxiety, performance anxiety, or general fear about future events—this episode is for you. Dr. Aziz breaks down what actually creates anxiety (hint: it’s not the situation itself) and why so many well-meaning efforts to manage or eliminate anxiety fail. You’ll discover how attachment to specific outcomes fuels fear, and how opening to all outcomes can set you free.

Packed with stories, metaphors, and practical insights, this conversation invites you to stop clinging, start choosing, and reclaim your peace and personal power.

🎧 Ready to step into real freedom? Tune in now and learn how to live without fear holding you back.


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Do you get nervous before social events, presentations, or even small conversations? Do your palms sweat, your mind race, or your stomach knot up? What if I told you that anxiety isn’t actually in the event itself—and that realizing this could be the first step to freedom?

Many people assume the fear they feel is because the situation is “scary.” Public speaking terrifies them. Approaching someone attractive feels impossible. Even something as simple as paying taxes can trigger tension. And while these experiences feel real, the truth is: anxiety isn’t in the circumstance—it’s in how you relate to it.

“Pick any situation—bungee jumping, giving a presentation, meeting someone new. There’s always someone who feels terrified, and someone who feels excited. Anxiety isn’t the event—it’s in the attachment to the outcome.”

The Hidden Ingredient of Anxiety

So what creates anxiety? One word: attachment.

It’s the intense need for things to go a certain way. The desire for approval, for everything to be perfect, for no awkward pauses or mistakes. This attachment fuels your nervous system: muscles tense, your mind spins, and panic can emerge—even before you’ve begun.

Think about it. You’re anxious because you want someone to respond positively, or you need the conversation to hit a certain standard, or you fear judgment if you stumble. That clinging, that insistence that the outcome must be perfect, is the root of anxiety.

“If attachment is in your cookie recipe, it’s going to taste like poop. That’s what anxiety feels like.”

Letting Go Without Giving Up

Here’s the liberating truth: the antidote to anxiety is letting all outcomes be okay. Open to the possibility that things might not go exactly as you planned—and that you will still be okay.

This doesn’t mean being passive or careless. You still show up, do your best, and steer toward the outcomes you want. But beyond your control? It’s no longer a source of fear.

Start small: identify a situation that triggers anxiety. Notice what outcome you’re attached to—and which outcomes you consider “unacceptable.” Then, in a safe, relaxed environment, imagine those outcomes unfolding—and allow yourself to feel okay if they do.

This mental exposure gradually rewires your nervous system. You discover that you can show up fully, navigate uncertainty, and still thrive. Over time, anxiety dissolves—and you step into life more fully, whether that’s giving a talk, approaching someone new, or handling the unexpected with calm confidence.

You Can Choose Freedom

Anxiety doesn’t have to control you. Once you see it for what it is—attachment and clinging—you can begin to loosen its grip. Life becomes a playground for growth instead of a minefield of fear.

“You can show up, be seen, and be okay no matter what happens. That’s freedom. That’s courage. That’s living fully.”

The first step is noticing your attachment, letting go of the need for control, and practicing tolerance for uncertainty. The more you do it, the more anxiety dissolves—and the more you reclaim your life, moment by moment.

In today’s episode, we dive into a powerful truth: becoming more magnetic and attractive doesn’t require abs, money, or status—it starts with how you see yourself. If you’ve ever felt like you’re just not desirable enough, that something is wrong with you, or that others wouldn’t want to be close to the “real you,” this conversation will shift everything.

Dr. Aziz shares his personal journey from years of insecurity, social anxiety, and rejection to finding genuine freedom and connection. You’ll discover why your belief that you’re not attractive is the actual block—not your looks, your personality, or your past. The secret? A willingness to let yourself be seen and known. And not just intellectually, but emotionally—fully and courageously.

If you want more magnetism, more connection, and more real confidence in every area of life—from friendships to dating to your career—this episode is for you. Tune in now, and take the first step toward living life unhidden.


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Most people think being magnetic and attractive is about perfect abs, flawless hair, or saying all the right things. But the truth is, the biggest obstacle to your natural magnetism isn’t your appearance at all—it’s what you believe about yourself.

In this post, you’ll discover why your “fantasy self” is quietly sabotaging your confidence and how you can start becoming irresistible right now, without changing who you are.

The Biggest Block to Attraction (And It’s Not Your Looks)

When I ask clients why they hesitate to approach someone, they’ll grimace and say, “It’s not going to go well.” Underneath that is a story: I’m not magnetic, I’m not attractive, and I’m not desirable.

This story creates a trap. We tell ourselves, “I’ll finally put myself out there when I’m thinner, richer, more interesting, or more confident.” That version of you—your “fantasy self”—never gets anxious, always knows what to say, and looks amazing. Until you become that version, you stay hidden.

But here’s the cost: life passes you by. You miss out on connection, love, friendships, and opportunities that are available right now. The real obstacle isn’t that people wouldn’t be drawn to you—it’s that you’re telling yourself you’re not attractive enough to try.

The Real Secret to Being Magnetic: Willingness to Be Seen and Known

Let me give you the great secret right now: attraction begins with a willingness to let yourself be seen and known.

Being “seen and known” isn’t dumping your deepest trauma on a first date. It’s showing your aliveness—your thoughts, your feelings, your humor, your enthusiasm—in the moment. It’s being curious about someone else while allowing them to experience you.

Most people try to connect without vulnerability. They hide behind a performance, hoping to look perfect enough to earn approval. That doesn’t create magnetism; it creates distance. Real magnetism is showing up as yourself—5% more real than you were yesterday.

My Turning Point (And Why It Matters to You)

I know this because I lived it. For over a decade, from middle school into college, I believed I was unattractive and undesirable. Even when a girl clearly showed interest—like the first time someone kissed me at a sleepover—I avoided her the next morning. My story (“she’d never really want me”) was stronger than reality.

Later, I dove into pickup advice, learning how to act bold and impressive. It helped me get dates but not real relationships. Why? Because I was still hiding my true self. It wasn’t until my late 20s, when I began practicing vulnerability, that everything shifted.

You don’t need to wait as long as I did. The sooner you practice letting yourself be seen and known—even a little—the sooner you become naturally magnetic.

Your Action Step: Be 5% More Real

This week, don’t try to overhaul your whole personality. Instead, experiment with being just 5% more real. Share a genuine thought or feeling when you’d normally stay guarded. Show a little more curiosity, warmth, or enthusiasm in your next conversation.

It’s not about being perfect. It’s about gently retraining your nervous system to see that revealing yourself is safe—and often rewarding.

Closing Inspiration

You don’t have to wait until you’re flawless to be magnetic. You’re already more attractive than you think. All it takes is the courage to be a little more real, a little more open, and a lot more you.

And if you’re excited to go deeper into these skills, stay tuned: in October I’ll be leading a live, virtual workshop called Supremely Confident Conversation Master where we’ll practice these tools together in real time. Pencil in the dates—October 10th–12th—you won’t want to miss it.

Until then, remember: have the courage to be who you are. On a deep level, you’re awesome.

Do you ever say, “I just don’t like talking to people,” or “That’s not my scene,” and leave it at that? In this episode, we dig deeper into that resistance—what’s really behind the stories we tell ourselves about not wanting to socialize. Whether it’s shyness, discomfort, or old fear masked as preference, Dr. Aziz unpacks how these beliefs can limit connection, joy, and opportunity. You'll learn how to move through that inner “I don’t wanna” voice, what it takes to build real social confidence (even if you're more introverted), and how to stop shrinking your world out of fear. If you’re ready to drop the excuses, expand your comfort zone, and experience more freedom in social situations, listen now. And if you want to go further, check out the link below to join the Supremely Confident Conversation Master workshop—happening soon.



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"Resistance and fear only have power if you let them control your choices."

Do you dread networking events, parties, or casual social interactions? Maybe you tell yourself, “I’m not the kind of person who does this,” or “It’s just not my scene.” Over time, these stories create a version of yourself that avoids connection, missing friendships, opportunities, and growth.

The good news: talking with people can be enjoyable—and even energizing—once you understand the patterns holding you back.

The Hidden Block: Avoidance and Resistance

Most social anxiety isn’t about the people around you—it’s about your internal response. Resistance, aversion, and fear mask themselves as judgments about the environment or other people. You might think, “Everyone’s superficial, it’s going to be boring, I don’t fit in here,” when really your fear of judgment or rejection is driving the story.

Here’s the truth: naming your discomfort and recognizing it as natural is liberating. You don’t need to eliminate fear—you need to act despite it.

"The truth will set you free, man. When you name your fear, that’s an act of courage."

The Cold Plunge Principle: Embrace Discomfort

Imagine a cold plunge: it feels awful before you step in, but exhilarating afterward. Social interactions work the same way. The initial hesitation is temporary—your mind says “don’t go,” but when you act, you experience confidence, connection, and flow.

Terrible before, awesome after. That’s the reality of human interaction. The more you step into conversations, the easier and more natural they become. Over time, your nervous system rewires old patterns of avoidance.

Steps to Actually Enjoy Talking With People

Notice your fear: Identify what you’re avoiding. Is it judgment, rejection, or uncertainty?

Connect with purpose: Ask yourself, “Why does this interaction matter?” Focus on curiosity, contribution, or connection rather than performing.

Take small actions: Approach one person, start with a greeting, or ask a simple question. Each step builds confidence and reduces avoidance.

You don’t have to become an extrovert. The goal is to feel comfortable in your own skin and engage as yourself. You can enjoy meaningful interactions without forcing charisma or overthinking every word.

"Every time you step forward, whether it’s a hello, a conversation, or attending an event, you reclaim a piece of yourself."

The Invitation

Life is short, and avoidance only fuels regret. Social freedom starts with courage and intentional action. Step into the room, move toward connection, and allow yourself to be fully present. As you practice, the joy of conversation will replace fear and resistance.

"You have the courage to be who you are. Trust it, embrace it, and know on a deep level that you’re awesome."

Most people try to manage their social anxiety — rehearsing what to say, overanalyzing every conversation, and worrying endlessly about what others think. But what if you didn’t have to manage it anymore? In this powerful episode, I share what it takes to eliminate social anxiety at its core. Not just coping strategies — but true liberation. You’ll discover the root cause of social anxiety, how your body unconsciously chooses fear, and how to reroute that pattern toward real confidence and connection. If you've ever wanted to go from anxious and self-conscious to bold and free, this episode is for you. Tune in now to learn how to stop avoiding and start living — and if you’re ready to go further, check the description for a link to my upcoming virtual workshop: Supremely Confident Conversation Master.


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“Social freedom isn’t about never feeling nervous—it’s about never letting fear control your life.”

Do you predict rejection before you even approach someone—before sending that email, making a phone call, or asking someone out on a date? Do you feel that inner bracing, that tension preparing for the “no” you fear? If so, you’re not alone—and there’s a way to change it.

Understanding the Fork in the Road

Imagine you’re hiking in the mountains and come to a fork in the trail. One path is treacherous, winding, and exposes you to danger—never leading to the town you’re trying to reach. The other path is rocky but leads to connection, safety, and community. Social anxiety works the same way: the “wrong” path is the one where fear dictates your actions, keeping you stuck in hesitation, self-doubt, and overthinking every interaction.

The critical insight is this: social anxiety isn’t caused by other people. It’s not about their judgment, disapproval, or indifference. It’s about what you do with those perceptions—the fear, shame, and self-criticism that rise in response. Once we see rejection or judgment as dangerous, we retreat, hide, or perform, creating the very symptoms we want to avoid.

The Real Problem: Patterns, Not People

“Social anxiety is a pattern, not an identity. You can change the pattern and experience a different result.”

Predicting rejection creates self-fulfilling prophecies. If you approach every conversation expecting judgment, your behavior shifts: hesitancy, guardedness, or over-pleasing takes over, which often leads to exactly the outcome you feared. But the good news is that this pattern is retrainable. By recognizing the automatic response to perceived threat, you can consciously choose a different path.

Taking Action: Inner and Outer Strategies

Inner Action: Examine your default rejection pattern. What do you tell yourself when someone says “no” or doesn’t respond as hoped? Write it down, notice it, and question it. Start creating new responses that empower rather than limit you.

Outer Action: Gradually expose yourself to low-stakes rejection. Say “hi” to people in a busy area. Notice reactions—some will ignore you, some will respond. Allow yourself to experience discomfort without catastrophe. This is like exposure therapy: small, repeated steps that retrain your nervous system.

The shift comes from seeing that a “no” is not a threat. It’s not the end of connection or self-worth. You’re learning to approach interactions with curiosity, courage, and authenticity, rather than fear.

Moving Toward Social Freedom

The ultimate goal isn’t perfection or constant approval—it’s liberation. Social freedom means you can connect, engage, and express yourself fully without being hostage to fear of rejection. You may still feel nervous sometimes—that’s human—but it won’t control your behavior.

Take one small step today. Say “hi,” send that email, or make that phone call. Notice your fear, face it, and move forward anyway. Over time, this rewires your confidence and opens the door to authentic connection, lasting relationships, and meaningful opportunities.

“You don’t need to wait for everyone to say yes. You need the courage to be yourself—and that is enough.”

If you've ever walked away from a conversation cringing, overanalyzing what you said, or feeling disconnected and uncomfortable… this episode is for you. Dr. Aziz reveals exactly what causes those awkward moments—and how to stop them for good.

You’ll learn the different types of “awkward,” why it’s not actually about what you said, and how your inner narratives (not your social skills) are often the real culprit. He’ll also guide you through powerful mindset shifts that melt away social tension and help you show up more relaxed, confident, and authentic.

Plus, get a sneak peek into Supremely Confident Conversation Master, Dr. Aziz’s upcoming virtual event where you’ll not only learn tools to master conversations—you’ll practice them live with others. Whether you want to stop overthinking, deepen connections, or finally feel at ease in any interaction, this episode is the first step.

🎧 Tune in now to break free from awkwardness and experience the power of showing up as the real you.



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Have you ever left a conversation feeling embarrassed, replaying every word in your head, thinking, “Ugh, that was so awkward”? You’re not alone. Awkward conversations are painful—not just in the moment, but in the aftermath, haunting you long after the words have been said. But what if I told you that “awkward” doesn’t actually exist in the way you think it does?

Redefining Awkward: It’s Not What You Think

Most people use the word “awkward” as if it’s a tangible thing, like a chair or a water bottle sitting in the room. “It was awkward,” they say. But here’s the truth: awkward isn’t real. What you’re actually feeling is discomfort—anxiety, embarrassment, or self-consciousness. And the other person? They probably didn’t notice a thing.

When you start labeling your interactions as awkward, you amplify your inner anxiety. Suddenly, the focus isn’t on connecting—it’s on whether you’re performing correctly, saying the “right” thing, or being judged. That’s when social anxiety takes over, and the moment you could enjoy becomes a moment you dread.

Three Ways to End Awkwardness

1. Notice Your Inner Critic
Much of what makes a conversation feel awkward comes from inside. That voice telling you, “They’re judging you” or “You shouldn’t say that” hijacks your focus. Begin by observing this voice without judgment—it’s separate from you. Awareness is the first step to quieting it.

2. Focus on the Interaction, Not the Outcome
Awkwardness often emerges from attachment to a specific result. You want someone to like you, or to agree with you, or to be impressed. Shift your attention from what you want to happen to what’s happening in the conversation. When you engage without needing to control the outcome, the interaction naturally becomes more relaxed and authentic.

3. Build Real Connection Skills
Being comfortable in conversation isn’t about memorizing lines or following a rigid formula. It’s about developing presence, confidence, and the ability to relax into the moment. When you feel grounded and self-assured, the words will come naturally. You don’t need to be perfect—you need to be human and fully present.

Awkward Is Optional

The good news? You can learn to experience conversations without that inner turmoil. By redefining what awkward really is, understanding the source of your discomfort, and practicing presence over performance, you can transform every social interaction into an opportunity for connection, clarity, and confidence.

So next time you step into a conversation, remember: awkward isn’t real. Anxiety is just a feeling, and it doesn’t define your interactions. You can walk away from every exchange feeling lighter, freer, and more connected than ever before.

You have the power to end awkwardness—and embrace conversations that are genuinely enjoyable. Start today. Your confidence—and your connections—will thank you.

Welcome to this week’s episode, where we dive into one of the biggest emotional traps that keeps people stuck—guilt. Whether it's around setting boundaries, saying no, or just doing what you want, guilt can silently run your life.

We’ll break down what actually causes guilt (hint: it’s not just someone else’s reaction), how to spot the invisible strands of the “guilt web,” and what it really means to live free from it. If you've ever felt selfish for protecting your time or space, this episode is going to shift everything.

Plus, I’ll share exciting updates about the upcoming Supremely Confident Conversation Master virtual event happening October 10–12, where we’ll not only talk about this stuff—we’ll practice it live.

Ready to stop feeling bad for being honest? Listen now and learn how to step out of the guilt trap—once and for all.



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Guilt. Oh yes, guilt.

It comes up in so many areas of life—relationships, work, social obligations. In fact, it’s one of the biggest obstacles to setting boundaries. Many people get stuck not because they fear conflict, but because they fear guilt—the heavy, internal tug that fires off the moment you consider saying no.

But here’s the good news: you can shift this experience and navigate your interactions without getting trapped in the web of guilt.

Why I Call It the “Web of Guilt”

I call it a web because that’s exactly how it feels—sticky, entangling, and hard to escape. Imagine a spider web with a bug trapped in the middle. Every strand pulls, tugging the bug in multiple directions.

Guilt works the same way. There are many invisible strands—often subconscious—that keep us tied to other people’s expectations, imagined or real. But just like some insects are resistant to spiderwebs, you can learn to navigate guilt without getting stuck.

It’s tempting to blame the other person. You might think:

“I feel guilty because I said no, and they’re upset.”

Not quite. Guilt is internal. The other person’s emotions—whether upset, disappointed, or angry—don’t automatically trigger your guilt.

Here’s a quick test: imagine a random stranger demands your meal at a restaurant. Most people wouldn’t feel guilty. Why? Because you don’t believe you owe them anything, and you don’t inhabit a reality where refusing is “wrong.”

In real life, the people you care about matter—but guilt still comes from your interpretation of the situation, not from their feelings.

How the Guilt Machinery Works

You imagine the other person is hurt or upset.
Even before they respond, you anticipate disappointment or anger.

You step into a “bizarro reality.”
In this reality, you’re responsible for all of their discomfort. Every missed expectation feels like a moral failing.

The guilt fires automatically.
Your mind labels you as selfish, bad, or wrong—even if your actions are fully respectful.

Sound familiar? That’s why guilt can feel so inescapable—it’s a mental construct, not a reflection of reality.

Healthy reality: You communicate what you want or don’t want authentically and respectfully. They may feel disappointed, but you haven’t done harm.

Insano reality: You bend over backward to avoid discomfort at all costs, sacrificing your needs endlessly. Even then, disappointment may still occur.

Living in the insano reality keeps you trapped in relationships, obligations, and roles you never really wanted—all fueled by guilt.

Here’s an example:

A friend invites you to a run that’s longer or faster than you’re comfortable with.

You check in with yourself: “Do I really want to do this?”

You might respond:

“Saturday won’t work for me, but how about we run together Thursday instead?”

Notice what happens here:

You honor your own needs

You communicate respectfully

You offer an alternative without over-apologizing or overexplaining

Guilt might still surface—but by staying anchored in your reality, you keep control and avoid the sticky strands of the web.

But here’s some exciting news—very soon you’ll be able to sign up for Supremely Confident Conversation Master.

The event is October 10–12, virtual, so you can join from anywhere. I’ll talk about it more next week when the link and registration are ready, but for now, just pencil the dates in—trust me, you won’t want to miss it.

There’s going to be brand-new material: new ways I teach you how to feel interesting, know that you bring value to any social interaction, and gain the skills to keep conversations going without awkwardness, worry, or running out of things to say. And of course, we’ll practice these skills live in real time, just like all my events.

If you’re not on my email list yet, now’s a great time to sign up—you’ll hear about the early-bird special and get first access.

Guilt is internal, layered, and often imaginary. You don’t need to absorb or fix everyone else’s feelings. By practicing self-awareness, respectful communication, and boundary-setting, you can navigate social interactions guilt-free.

And stay tuned—next week I’ll share more tools from Supremely Confident Conversation Master that make it easier than ever to feel confident, engaging, and in control in any conversation.

Want to speak up more confidently in meetings—whether it's a one-on-one with your boss or in front of a whole group? If you've ever stayed quiet even when you had something valuable to share, this episode is for you. We’re diving into what holds you back, how to shift the way you see yourself, and powerful tools to start showing up with boldness at work. Plus, I’ll share a special invitation to my only virtual event this year.

🎧 Hit play and let’s help you become more visible, confident, and influential in every conversation.


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If you struggle with speaking up in meetings, you’re not alone. Many people I work with are highly skilled, intelligent, and capable—they do great work—but when it comes to the social side of work, they retreat. They recede into the background, becoming the wallflower of the meeting. And it doesn’t matter whether it’s a one-on-one with a supervisor, a small team of two or three colleagues, or a large group of ten or twenty—this pattern shows up everywhere.

For many, especially those who have a history of people-pleasing, the anxiety is subtle at first. They freeze, hesitate, or simply stay quiet. Virtual meetings can make it even easier to hide—camera off, muted, and invisible. I’ve had clients tell me that, since working with me, they started turning their cameras on during meetings, and they noticed a profound shift in how present and engaged they felt. Before, avoidance ruled their behavior. Now, with awareness and practice, they’re stepping forward.

Avoidance may seem harmless, but it comes at a cost. Professionally, it can limit your growth. I can’t tell you how many people have shared with me that they were passed over for promotions—not because their work was lacking, but because they didn’t speak up. Others who spoke more, shared ideas freely, and took visible action often got ahead, even when their ideas weren’t better. This isn’t fair, but it’s reality. Social visibility matters.

It also impacts your confidence and self-esteem. When you retreat, you reinforce the belief that your voice isn’t valuable. You diminish your own engagement and sense of power at work. But here’s the truth: showing up, speaking, and sharing your ideas builds confidence. It strengthens your presence. It reminds you that you have something valuable to contribute.

So how do you shift this? Start by recognizing the root of your anxiety. Most often, it comes from a fear of judgment. You imagine that if you speak, someone will think you’re incompetent, awkward, or weak. That fear drives invisibility, pushing you toward the wallflower role. And that association—visibility equals danger—is deeply ingrained for many people. If you’ve ever been embarrassed, criticized, or dismissed, your mind naturally links attention with pain.

But this association is wrong. Being the center of attention is not automatically dangerous or bad. You’ve been projecting your fears onto others, assuming judgment, when in reality, people are rarely as focused on you as you think. Understanding this projection is the first step in breaking the freeze. Your fear isn’t about them—it’s about the story your mind is telling.

Once you recognize the story, you can start practicing presence. Begin small: contribute one idea in a meeting, answer a question, or share a brief thought. Gradually increase your participation until speaking up feels natural. Remember, visibility is a skill. Like any skill, it strengthens with practice. The more you engage, the less frightening it becomes, and the more confidence you build.

Conversations—whether one-on-one, in small teams, or in large meetings—are opportunities to practice this skill. They are not threats. Each time you step forward, you prove to yourself that you can be heard, that your ideas have value, and that visibility does not equal harm.

This principle applies beyond work too. Public speaking, social gatherings, even family discussions all benefit from the same practice. Every brave step you take in one arena reinforces your courage in others.

If you want a focused, immersive way to accelerate this skill, consider my upcoming virtual event, Supremely Confident Conversation Mastery. Over three days, we’ll dive deep into conversation mastery, work on speaking confidently in any setting, and even explore storytelling to help you own the room. It’s a live, interactive experience—nothing compares to throwing yourself in and practicing in real time. If you’re ready to transform your confidence and your career, this is the opportunity.

Remember, confidence isn’t about never feeling fear. It’s about acting despite it. Speaking up is a muscle—every time you use it, it grows stronger. The more you show up, the more natural it becomes. The wallflower in meetings can step into the room with presence, authority, and impact. And that is the work, the practice, and the gift of building real confidence.

If you ever feel anxious when interacting with others—whether you're sharing your thoughts, speaking up, or simply being seen—you're likely running a powerful, hidden pattern. In this episode, we’ll uncover what that pattern is, how it silently runs the show, and how to break free from it.

Dr. Aziz shares a transformative insight about the story we tell ourselves—“they don’t like me”—and how this subtle but constant belief fuels anxiety, guilt, and people-pleasing. You’ll learn how to spot when this belief is activated, why it’s totally made up, and what to do to shift into a more confident, grounded state.

Get ready to break free from the fear of being disliked, stop bracing for rejection, and start showing up with more authenticity and peace.

Listen now and learn how to stop assuming you're being judged—and start being yourself.



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The pattern we’re talking about is imagining. It’s that inner feeling and the mental story that comes with it, usually subconscious, that creates anxiety in social, professional, or creative situations. You might not consciously think, “They’re going to hate me,” but your body, your nervous system, and your emotions respond as if it’s real. You feel discomfort, tension, and even dread because you’re imagining people being upset, disappointed, or disgusted with you. This pattern is incredibly common and is the root of chronic guilt, social anxiety, and discomfort around putting yourself out there.

The critical thing to understand is that this anxiety is self-generated. Those images of people rejecting you, being disappointed, or hating you are largely hallucinations created by your own mind. Recognizing that you are generating this story is the first step toward liberation. Once you see it, you can start breaking the hold it has over you.

There’s a part of you that Dr. Aziz calls the “safety police.” This part hates uncertainty and discomfort, so it predicts the worst-case scenario for everyone at all times. It’s trying to protect you from pain, like the rare instance of someone disliking you, by keeping you socially guarded all the time. The problem is that it overprotects. It creates the illusion that everyone might be judging or hating you, which makes life feel heavy, limiting, and anxious.

You cannot control other people’s opinions, but you can cultivate internal certainty. You can know who you are, recognize your value, and be confident that you’ll be okay regardless of how others react. This is the form of certainty that frees you to take social risks without chronic anxiety. When you anchor in internal certainty, you stop needing to predict or control the reactions of everyone around you.

Awareness is the key to freedom. You must catch this pattern in the moment. Notice when your mind is spinning the story that everyone dislikes you. Audit your life to see where this is happening—whether it’s emails, calls, meetings, or social interactions—and consciously step into action despite the discomfort. Ask yourself, “If I were fearless, what would I do?” Make a list of the actions that anxiety currently prevents you from taking. Then, start small. Send that email, make that call, speak up in the meeting. Remind yourself: “I bring value. I am okay either way.” This internal certainty shifts your nervous system and your experience entirely.

As Dr. Aziz says, “You are making it up. Your nervous system is responding to a hallucination.” When you change this pattern, you create a whole different experience socially and in your inner confidence. The mindset you want to practice is simple but powerful: “I’ll be okay either way.” Step into action, notice the story your mind is telling, and anchor yourself in your value and resilience. That is where true confidence begins.