Single Mother Survival Guide

My guest in this week's episode has been a single mum for two and a half years. She has two daughters, aged two and four.

In part 1 of this two-part episode, my guest shares her experience with domestic violence, and specifically the sexual abuse she received from her partner of over 10 years. She left him when she was 8 months pregnant with her second daughter.

This is her story.

She also shares how her experience led to her interest and research into psychology and neurology, the support she received from Lifeline and 1800 Respect, and how she learned about domestic violence and came to the realisation that she herself was in an abusive relationship.

Part 2 will be released next week.

Links mentioned in the episode:

To contact Julia, email: [email protected].

Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide.

Or connect with Single Mother Survival Guide on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest.

In this week's episode, my guest from last week continues to share her story.

Last week we discussed the evolution of the relationship that my guest had with her (now) ex-husband, and how one day, six years into their relationship (and completely out of the blue), my guest's (then) husband told her that he wanted to take up cross-dressing, and how over time, he came out as transgender. We also discussed how she handled her husband becoming a woman, becoming a lesbian (by default), having a son (now aged five) and why they ultimately broke up.

In this episode, the conversation continues. We discuss how her ex and the new partner of her ex ended things and how that resulted in a final try to make things work between my guest and her ex. The "what if it could work out after all?" question still lingered, and whilst it didn't work out in the end, it did bring a resolution to her relationship that had not existed before.

We also discuss co-parenting, and how that looked when they lived together again but weren't in a relationship anymore, dating, the best part of single parenting and the challenge moving forward, plus so much more.

This is a Part 2 of a two-part episode. You can listen to Part 1 HERE.

Links mentioned in the episode:

To contact Julia, email: [email protected].

Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide.

Or connect with Single Mother Survival Guide on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest.

My guest in this week's episode met the future father of her child when they were in college. They formed a firm friendship which, over time, developed into a relationship, and eventually marriage. They ended up being together for over ten years.

One day, six years into their relationship (and completely out of the blue), my guest's (then) husband told her that he wanted to take up crossdressing. Over time, her husband came out as transgender.

Throughout this time, they had a son (who is now five).

In this episode, my guest discusses how she handled her husband becoming a woman, becoming a lesbian (by default), and why they broke up - and it's not what you think!

This is her story.

This is a Part 1 of a two-part episode. Part 2 will be released next week.

Links mentioned in the episode:

To contact Julia, email: [email protected].

Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide.

Or connect with Single Mother Survival Guide on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest.

In this episode, we hear from Hayley who last spoke to us in January 2019. In episodes 131 (Part 1), 132 (Part 2), and 133 (Part 3) she shared her story and experience with sudden wife abandonment and the grief that she experienced for the 12 months following.

Hayley thought her relationship with her husband had been a fairytale. They had been together for more than nine years. They had travelled, enjoyed hiking and doing things together in the outdoors, had just finished renovating a home and had just had a baby. Hayley was very much in love. So when her husband's demeanour changed and he then casually told her that he didn't love her anymore, her whole world stopped. But, as shocking as this story is, ultimately it's a story of hope and one woman's strength. Hayley shared how she dealt with her grief and how she climbed out of the depths of despair.

In this episode, we catch up on what she has been doing in the 12 months since we spoke, and it is nothing short of amazing!

Hayley decided that she was not going to let 2019 be as bad as 2018. She spontaneously bought a motor home and then spent 5 months on the road, with her three-year-old daughter, driving 13,000 km around Australia.

She tells us all about the trip and how pivotal it was in her healing. She talks about the people she met, things that went wrong and how she overcame them, and about the highlights... riding a bike around Uluru with her daughter, making her way through Litchfield National Park, exploring Kakadu and looking for crocodiles, travelling through the outback, swimming with turtles off Fitzroy Island, and so much more. She also shares how she managed the long car drives with a toddler, and how she managed to do everything solo.

Also in this episode, Hayley updates us on the situation with her ex-husband. She tells us about the discovery of her ex having twins with the woman he had has an affair with (and finding out about it via Instagram) and how she overcame the sadness and jealousy that she felt about him having the big family that she always wanted, and how she now sees it is a blessing.

Links mentioned in the episode:

Listen to Part 1 with Hayley (Episode 131) HERE.

Listen to Part 2 with Hayley (Episode 132) HERE.

Listen to Part 3 with Hayley (Episode 133) HERE.

To contact Julia, email: [email protected].

Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide.

Or connect with Single Mother Survival Guide on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest.

A quick update for you!

Links mentioned in the episode:

To contact Julia, email: [email protected].

Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide.

Or connect with Single Mother Survival Guide on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest.

Welcome to the third, and final instalment of Dapnee's incredible story.

In Part 1 of Dapnee's story, we talked about what was going on her 17-year-old life: she had recently graduated high school and had been accepted into a dream university, she wanted to study physics and saw a future as a research scientist, and she had moved into the dorms and started college life. She was excited to begin the next chapter, and the future looked bright.

Things then took a turn and she told us about the night she got raped at a college party, how the Police handled the situation (terribly), and what happened in the weeks following the rape.

In Part 2 we learned about how she discovered she was pregnant three months after the rape, and although she was shocked and scared, it also brought hope and light into a time of her life when she was at her lowest, how she made the decision to keep the baby, being a pregnant teen, suffering from PND, life as a new single mum, and so much more.

Part 3 is the final instalment of our chat. Just when you think things could not have got worse for Dapnee, they did. We talked about how struggling financially led Dapnee to put in a claim for child support, and how this resulted in the unthinkable. Her rapist filed for custody of her daughter.

Dapnee did everything she could, but ultimately the court ruled that he had a right to his daughter. Dapnee faced co-parenting with her rapist.

Dapnee shares:

• What it was like going to court all alone and facing her rapist and all his family,
• how she has struggled to be able to tell her loved ones her story,
• how law enforcement has continued to let her down,
• how motivated she is to finish her studies and to get her degree in Business Information Systems,
• the struggle she feels in being able to relate to other 23-year-olds after what she has been through,
• dating again and meeting her boyfriend,
• what is next for Dapnee,
• and so much more.

"When all the odds were against me, you gave me a reason" ~ Unknown.

I have been so honoured to share Dapnee's story over the last three weeks. One that she has never told completely to any of her loved ones. It is a sad story, but Dapnee brings strength, beauty, and bravery, and she is now in a really good place. Dapnee is a true inspiration. She is a go-getter, she is positive, she has drive, she is unstoppable.

*Please note this episode and topic may act as a trigger for some people, and this episode is not suitable to listen to within earshot of children.*

Links mentioned in the episode:

It is advised to listen to Part 1 and Part 2 first.

• You can listen to Part 1 HERE.
• You can listen to Part 2 HERE.

To contact Julia, email: [email protected].

Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide.

Or connect with Single Mother Survival Guide on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest.

The future was looking bright for 17-year-old Dapnee. She had recently graduated high school and had been accepted into a dream university. She wanted to study physics and saw a future as a research scientist. She moved into the dorms and started college life. She was excited to begin the next chapter.

In last week's episode (Part 1 of this story), Dapnee tells us the traumatic story if her rape. She paints the picture of what was going on her life at the time, about the shocking way she was treated by law enforcement, what happened at the hospital, and the weeks immediately following the assault.

In this week's episode, her story continues. She tells us about:

• The discovery of her pregnancy (three months later) that occurred as a result of the rape, and how she ignored the signs and did not want to believe that she was pregnant.
• How at the same time as the shock, the pregnancy gave her hope and brought a light into her life when she was at her lowest.
• How she grappled with the decision of either keeping the baby or giving it up for adoption.
• What happened when she told her family about the rape and the resulting pregnancy at 6 months pregnant.
• How she blamed herself for a very long time and how she overcame that.
• The judgement she received being pregnant at 17.
• Being let down and the betrayal she felt by her family not keeping her secret.
• Life as a newly single mum after her baby was born.
• Suffering from postnatal depression and not understanding what was happening.

Dapnee also shares an incident where her daughter got sick at the age of two and she couldn't afford medicine, and how that situation prompted her to take a gap year and join the military.

There is no doubt that this is a heartbreaking story, but it is also one of empowerment, strength, beauty, and bravery. Dapnee shares how the tough times gave her the drive that she needed to show people that she would finish school, and how everyone's judgement of being a pregnant teen empowered her to reach for the sky.

*Please note this episode and topic may act as a trigger for some people, and this episode is not suitable to listen to within earshot of children.*

Links mentioned in the episode:

It is advised to listen to Part 1 first. You can listen to Part 1 HERE.

To contact Julia, email: [email protected].

Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide.

Or connect with Single Mother Survival Guide on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest.

The future was looking bright for 17-year-old Dapnee. She had recently graduated high school and had been accepted into a dream university. She wanted to study physics and saw a future as a research scientist. She moved into the dorms and started college life. She was excited to begin the next chapter.

It was the last week of summer school at university before the start of the fall semester, and she was excited to be invited to a party with some new friends. Dapnee is a positive person and always saw the best in everyone.

She never saw what came next coming.

In Part 1 of this three-part series, Dapnee paints the picture of what was going on her life at the time, about the rape and the shocking way she was treated by law enforcement, what happened at the hospital, and the weeks immediately following the assault.

Please note this episode and topic may act as a trigger for some people, and this episode is not suitable to listen to within earshot of children.

Links mentioned in the episode:

To contact Julia, email: [email protected].

Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide.

Or connect with Single Mother Survival Guide on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest.

In this episode, I talk about how to know if you're ready for a relationship as a single mum, and how to get yourself there.

Links mentioned in the episode:

Purchase The Ultimate Guide On How To Get Relationship Ready For Single Mothers on this page HERE.

Listen to Episode 158, and my lastest speed dating experience HERE.

Listen to Episode 156 - Speed dating; what you need to know - HERE.

Listen to Episode 148 - Let's talk dating - HERE.

Listen to Episode 30 - Interview with dating mindset coach, with veronica Grant - HERE.

Listen to Episode 26 - Everything dating, with Karina Pamamull - HERE.

Listen to Episode 18 - Relaunching your sex life as a single mother, with Jacqueline Hellyer - HERE.

To contact Julia, email: [email protected].

Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide.

Or connect with Single Mother Survival Guide on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest.

Curious about becoming a single mother by choice?

In this episode of the Single Mother Survival Guide Podcast, I take you along on my journey that started last year after a series of events that could not be seen as a coincidence. It's no secret that I would love to have more children, and last year I decided to find out more about becoming a single mother by choice - i.e getting a sperm donor. I started talking about this journey in Episode 158, and this is a continuation of that journey.

I take you along as I speak to my fertility doctor - the lovely Dr Raewyn Teirney about my fertility test results, the two things that were holding me back from going ahead at the time, the sperm donor laws in NSW and what is involved, and the process and costs involved in freezing eggs. I also tell you about my appointment with the counsellor and my feelings that came up after that.

And finally, I tell you about where I am at in that journey today.

I really hope that by sharing my (very personal) journey, anyone who is thinking about this option, especially mums who already have a child with an ex-partner and want more children, will find this informative and interesting to hear.

Links mentioned in the episode:

Listen to Episode 158 HERE.

Read the blog post: "Why a child's first day at school is so hard on single mums" HERE.

Contact Dr Raewyn Teirney via IVF Australia.

To contact Julia, email: [email protected].

Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide.

Or connect with Single Mother Survival Guide on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest.