This week, Dex came in hot with the age-old(and honestly, exhausting) question: Are you wife material? We broke down a xoNecole article where 10 men shared what makes a woman “wife” vs. “girlfriend” material and whew, some of these takes had me raising eyebrows and clenching my pearls. From emotional maturity to splitting bills to being “referred” like a LinkedIn job post, we had plenty to say. Spoiler alert: Dex absolutely flunked the wifey quiz. 😂

Then we had to pivot to check in with my mommas, because back-to-school season is no joke. We discussed another article that reminded me how vital it is for Black women to prioritize ourselves especially when we’re constantly expected to carry everyone else. Trusting others, knowing your limits, setting boundaries, and redefining self-care as non-negotiable? We’re leaning into all of that. This episode is part therapy, part side-eye, and 100% necessary.

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This week, me, and Carla are comparing social media timelines and realizing just how differently our algorithms are built. Mine? Full of the usual celeb mess. Carla’s? Somehow led us into a convo about butt sniffers. I’m still recovering.

We get into the age-gap dating buzz between Karrueche Tran (37) and Deion Sanders (57)—is there a cutoff age where nobody cares anymore, or are we still side-eyeing big gaps?

Then we talk about Kamala Harris—she's not running for California Governor, which has me wondering: is she over America or early 2028 presidential plotting?

And per usual Carla and I have a heated disagreement: Traci Ellis Ross said she’s traveling without underwear to save space. What?? Panties take up no room. Carla’s out here defending it, talking about washing them in the sink. I said what I said: the math ain't mathing.

Tune in for timeline chaos, political tea, and way too much talk about butts. 

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CARLA WILMARIS | DEX

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This week on So What Now, we unpack a viral TikTok that challenges the usual checklist for choosing a partner. Sure, faith, finances, and fitness are great—but what about the ability to suffer well? Life will get messy, and having someone who doesn’t fall apart in the chaos might just be the most underrated trait of all. Dex keeps it real and admits she’s not built for bedside caregiving—she’ll cut the check, but don’t look for soup and soft words. And if she ever becomes the one in need? Her motto is simple: just take her out!

Things take a turn when we discuss the woman who found out her husband’s ex hacked their home security system and watched over 44,000 minutes of footage. Dex is baffled at how anyone has that kind of time, while Carla confesses she might’ve been one click away from doing the same.

We also tap into the rising trend of “poly-working”—people holding down two full-time jobs, often powered by AI. Carla’s here for it (shoutout to her ADHD superpowers), but Dex is barely making it through one job. Speaking of jobs, Carla shares a little about her short-lived corporate career and the moment it ended with a good ol’ fashioned workplace fight. Yes, hands were thrown. You definitely want to hear this one.

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CARLA WILMARIS | DEX

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Whew—y’all, we’re back! After dodging studio bookings like TSA lines, we finally made it back to High Hello Labs, and babyyy... we’ve got a lot to catch up on.

Dex is officially 41 (but giving 25), and Carla shares how TSA Cares and Psalm’s amazing therapy team helped him prep for his big NYC takeover. 💪🏾 We’re talking legacy—but not the money kind—getting older (and finer), and how one Coldplay kiss cam moment exposed way more than expected. 👀 Oh, and yes, we go there: abortion debates, Shannon Sharpe’s hush-hush settlement, and what happens when a CEO gets caught up on camera... with someone who ain’t his wife. Plus, Barack and Michelle tap in with some parenting wisdom (we know they be listening 👋🏾).

In This Episode:

• Dexty’s birthday, surprise cake, and getting emotionally wrecked in the Delta lounge 🍰
• Psalm’s flying glow-up and why TSA Cares is that girl ✈️
• Why posting content could be your ticket to Bali (or at least brunch)
• The Coldplay concert scandal that cost a CEO his job 👔
• Carla vs. the Internet: abortion takes, Twitter fingers, and curly-haired chaos 🥴
• Shannon Sharpe’s “retirement plan” for his OnlyFans accuser 💰
• Barack + Michelle’s parenting gems and why boys need more than one male role model

Keep Up With Us: 🗣️ Join the convo @sowhatnowpod 🎥 Watch the full episode on YouTube 🎧 Subscribe, rate, and review on your favorite podcast app 📩 Got a messy work story or a petty win? Slide in our DMs or email us!

Hey Besties

We’re back! and it’s giving unfiltered chaos (per usual). 😅

This week’s episode is straight from the living room while Carla gets her hair done and Dex debates washing hers (it’s been 16 days, send help). The kids are in the background, the vibes are real, and the convos? Whew.

We’re talking:

• The Bali Challenge: Carla told Dex if she posts 31 Reels in August, she’s going to Bali for free. Now she’s on the gram like her life depends on it.

• Plastic surgery for men?! Abs, arms, hairlines, do what you want… just don’t tell us about it.

• Do you really tell your friends when their weight is getting outta hand? Or mind your business?

• Ashanti and Nelly’s show has us stressed. Is she a married single mom now?!

• Listener Letter: She’s married with a “good man”… but can’t stop thinking about the one that got away. What should she do?

• And a DM asking for dating advice after loss—Dex gives the play-by-play on building a roster safely while healing.

It’s raw. It’s ridiculous. It’s us. Press play, laugh with us, and maybe send this to a friend who needs to stop replying to “Hey stranger” texts. 😩

xx - Carla

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Hey Bestie,

We’re back! Listen… jetlag and schedule conflics are real.

This week’s episode is a catch-up at the house. I just got back from Bali, had a full-blown spiritual awakening (yes, there were tears in the ocean), and maybe met the love of my life… but he said he’s not coming back to America soooo that’s that. 😅

Dex has been going through it too. When it rains, it pours, okay? She took a little break from social because the doom scroll had her in a chokehold. She opens up about that, plus her quick lil’ Miami trip where she gave out her number… but did anything come of it? 👀

We also read a letter from a listener who feels stuck in a “content” life. Not bad, not great—just… meh. She wants more but feels guilty for wanting it. We unpack that, too.

It’s raw, it’s real, it’s us.

We missed y’all. Hit play.

xx Carla Wilmaris

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CARLA WILMARIS | DEX

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We might read your letter on the next episode—anonymously, of course.

On this juicy episode of So What Now, Carla kicks things off by sharing her prep for Bali — a water fast that helped her shed six pounds (and gain three right back 😅). Still, she’s feeling herself and ready for the beach! Meanwhile, Dex crowns the Woman of the Week: a queen who ghosted her man right after he handed her a winning lotto ticket. City girls up by a million 💅🏾💸

Then it’s a hard pivot to politics as we unpack Trump’s headline-grabbing pardons, including Todd & Julie Chrisley (fraud squad!), NBA YoungBoy, Kodak Black, and Lil Wayne. Carla shares what her presidential platform would be — starting with a strict no deadbeat baby daddies policy.

We get real with Ileana Gracia, founder of Latinas for Trump, who’s suddenly shocked by Trump’s immigration policies. Carla gives her a reality check she won’t forget.

Plus, we offer survival tips for navigating Trump’s presidency (again):

• Set media boundaries 🧠

• Make space for joy 🪩

• Rest is resistance 🛌

Finally, we dive into a heartfelt listener letter from an entrepreneur juggling business dreams and bestie FOMO. 💌 You’re not alone, sis. Keep building. The trips (and the tribe that gets it) will come.

We wanna see y’all IRL. We’re planning some in-person events, just for the ladies. Click the link and let’s get out of the group chat. 

Outside the Group Chat: Women’s Meetups

CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

CARLA WILMARIS | DEX

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Whew! Y’all… I’m out here trying to date and let me just say: it’s terrible. This week I went on two dates — yes, two. One man is ready for a monogamous relationship immediately… and has absolutely no friends (red flag?). The other sends me unsolicited prayer voice notes every single morning and follows up with "send me a pic" all day long. I’m exhausted, and it’s only Monday. 🙃

Meanwhile, Dex is convinced the internet is for girls only — specifically saying men should not be in The Shade Room comments. Honestly? I don’t disagree. Go build a house or something, sir.

We also got into the wildest things we’ve done for love. Let’s just say, Dex shared a story that had my jaw on the floor. You ever stay with someone who cheated… and had two kids on you while y’all were still together? She did. And sis really said "crazy for love."

Then, we got into a listener letter: “Do you have to pick a side when two close friends fall out?” Mmm… we had thoughts. Lots of thoughts.

In our motherhood segment, we reviewed that new Tyler Perry movie Straw (spoiler alert if you haven’t watched yet!). Of course, we couldn’t agree on anything. I loved it — it spoke to me on such a deep, spiritual level. Dex? She’s over it. Said it’s just more Black trauma on display. Classic us.

So what now? Click play and find out.

We wanna see y’all IRL. We’re planning some in-person events, just for the ladies. Click the link and let’s get out the group chat. 

Outside the Group Chat: Women’s Meetups

— Carla 💛

CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

CARLA WILMARIS | DEX

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Alright y’all, in this week’s episode we got real about body language in dating—yes, sis, that closed-off vibe might be why no one’s stepping to you! A new study says most women think we look approachable, but we really out here serving “don’t talk to me” energy. I put some of those body language tips to the test and let’s just say... results were mixed.

Meanwhile, Carla is back in these dating streets and using ChatGPT to help cut through all the awkward small talk on Hinge and honestly, it’s working! you’ll have to hear it to believe it.

What are ya’ll thoughts on romantic relationships being transactional?  Now me? I stand ten toes down in the belief that all relationships are a give-and-take. Know your value, know what you want, and stop wasting time. Carla had a moment too—realizing that what she brings to a relationship is more than money, and honestly, that shift is powerful.

But we had to ask—since women are out here buying homes, getting degrees, leveling up in every way—should we lower our standards when it comes to men? Whew, child. 

We closed it out with a pivot to motherhood and policy—talking about Trump’s “big beautiful bill” and how it’s gonna make SNAP benefits harder to get for single moms. Work requirements, marital status hoops... it’s a lot, and it’s giving struggle for too many women.

Tap in, y’all. This one’s layered.

We wanna see y’all IRL. We’re planning some in-person events, just for the ladies. Click the link and let’s get out the group chat. 

Outside the Group Chat: Women’s Meetups

— Dex 💛

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CARLA WILMARIS | DEX

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Hey friends—Carla here! This week on So What Now?, Dex and I sat down with the fierce and inspiring Jena Mehlberg—entrepreneur, mama, survivor, and all-around powerhouse in the beauty world.

Jena took us on a real ride through some of the toughest chapters of her life—becoming a single mom in her teens, losing a parent, navigating an emotionally abusive relationship, and the ups and downs of running her own business. And y’all, the way she speaks about resilience and faith? You feel it in your bones. She talks about the importance of existing outside yourself and not letting isolation pull you under, especially in the hardest seasons.

One thing that really stuck with me—Jena opened up about her mom, a woman who moved through the world like rules just didn’t apply to her. That “ask forgiveness later” attitude? It gave Jena permission to live boldly and never wait for someone else to give her the green light.

Then we shifted gears and got real about raising boys. As two single moms of sons, Jena and I got into it: How do we raise emotionally healthy men in a world that often doesn’t teach them how to feel? What message are we sending if we keep choosing partners who don’t show up emotionally? Dex jumped in too, and we unpacked the tension between wanting to protect our kids from life’s mistakes… and knowing we can’t.

Y’all, if you’ve ever wondered whether you’re doing enough—or how to keep going when life knocks you down—this one’s for you.

💬 Come join the conversation and lets figuring it out together.

We wanna see y’all IRL. We’re planning some in-person events, just for the ladies. Click the link and let’s get out the group chat. 

Outside the Group Chat: Women’s Meetups

— Carla 💛

CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

CARLA WILMARIS | DEX

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