Whew! Y’all… I’m out here trying to date and let me just say: it’s terrible. This week I went on two dates — yes, two. One man is ready for a monogamous relationship immediately… and has absolutely no friends (red flag?). The other sends me unsolicited prayer voice notes every single morning and follows up with "send me a pic" all day long. I’m exhausted, and it’s only Monday. 🙃

Meanwhile, Dex is convinced the internet is for girls only — specifically saying men should not be in The Shade Room comments. Honestly? I don’t disagree. Go build a house or something, sir.

We also got into the wildest things we’ve done for love. Let’s just say, Dex shared a story that had my jaw on the floor. You ever stay with someone who cheated… and had two kids on you while y’all were still together? She did. And sis really said "crazy for love."

Then, we got into a listener letter: “Do you have to pick a side when two close friends fall out?” Mmm… we had thoughts. Lots of thoughts.

In our motherhood segment, we reviewed that new Tyler Perry movie Straw (spoiler alert if you haven’t watched yet!). Of course, we couldn’t agree on anything. I loved it — it spoke to me on such a deep, spiritual level. Dex? She’s over it. Said it’s just more Black trauma on display. Classic us.

So what now? Click play and find out.

We wanna see y’all IRL. We’re planning some in-person events, just for the ladies. Click the link and let’s get out the group chat. 

Outside the Group Chat: Women’s Meetups

— Carla 💛

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Alright y’all, in this week’s episode we got real about body language in dating—yes, sis, that closed-off vibe might be why no one’s stepping to you! A new study says most women think we look approachable, but we really out here serving “don’t talk to me” energy. I put some of those body language tips to the test and let’s just say... results were mixed.

Meanwhile, Carla is back in these dating streets and using ChatGPT to help cut through all the awkward small talk on Hinge and honestly, it’s working! you’ll have to hear it to believe it.

What are ya’ll thoughts on romantic relationships being transactional?  Now me? I stand ten toes down in the belief that all relationships are a give-and-take. Know your value, know what you want, and stop wasting time. Carla had a moment too—realizing that what she brings to a relationship is more than money, and honestly, that shift is powerful.

But we had to ask—since women are out here buying homes, getting degrees, leveling up in every way—should we lower our standards when it comes to men? Whew, child. 

We closed it out with a pivot to motherhood and policy—talking about Trump’s “big beautiful bill” and how it’s gonna make SNAP benefits harder to get for single moms. Work requirements, marital status hoops... it’s a lot, and it’s giving struggle for too many women.

Tap in, y’all. This one’s layered.

We wanna see y’all IRL. We’re planning some in-person events, just for the ladies. Click the link and let’s get out the group chat. 

Outside the Group Chat: Women’s Meetups

— Dex 💛

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Hey friends—Carla here! This week on So What Now?, Dex and I sat down with the fierce and inspiring Jena Mehlberg—entrepreneur, mama, survivor, and all-around powerhouse in the beauty world.

Jena took us on a real ride through some of the toughest chapters of her life—becoming a single mom in her teens, losing a parent, navigating an emotionally abusive relationship, and the ups and downs of running her own business. And y’all, the way she speaks about resilience and faith? You feel it in your bones. She talks about the importance of existing outside yourself and not letting isolation pull you under, especially in the hardest seasons.

One thing that really stuck with me—Jena opened up about her mom, a woman who moved through the world like rules just didn’t apply to her. That “ask forgiveness later” attitude? It gave Jena permission to live boldly and never wait for someone else to give her the green light.

Then we shifted gears and got real about raising boys. As two single moms of sons, Jena and I got into it: How do we raise emotionally healthy men in a world that often doesn’t teach them how to feel? What message are we sending if we keep choosing partners who don’t show up emotionally? Dex jumped in too, and we unpacked the tension between wanting to protect our kids from life’s mistakes… and knowing we can’t.

Y’all, if you’ve ever wondered whether you’re doing enough—or how to keep going when life knocks you down—this one’s for you.

💬 Come join the conversation and lets figuring it out together.

We wanna see y’all IRL. We’re planning some in-person events, just for the ladies. Click the link and let’s get out the group chat. 

Outside the Group Chat: Women’s Meetups

— Carla 💛

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This week’s episode of So What Now gets into some pretty spicy and controversial territory—so let’s jump right in.

We started things off light: I came across a study that says spending money on your best friend can actually boost your mental health. So Carla, just know—I’m always here to support your wellness journey… especially if it includes buying me lunch. #SelfCare 😌

Carla let us know a few of her exes are trying to “spin the block,” and baby, she is not impressed. That got us thinking: would you ever take an ex back? Carla’s a maybe, but for me? All mine are married now, so it’s a strong no. We also asked: when does your history with an ex stop mattering? Like, is there a cut-off date for emotional baggage?

Then we dove headfirst into the mess: reproductive rights. We touched on a few current cases, and let’s just say… it got real. Carla swears she’s not conservative, but sis said “broke people shouldn’t have babies”. Meanwhile, I’m over here volunteering to drive a woman to her 10th one. So yeah—maybe we need to unpack some things too.

We also talked about the tragic story out of Georgia, where a brain-dead woman is being kept on life support so her baby can survive. Just… heavy.

And before we wrapped, we went deep: should people with genetic disorders have children, knowing there’s a chance their kids will inherit those same challenges? No easy answers, but definitely a conversation worth having.

So yeah—this episode is full of debates, some side-eyes, and a lot of heart. 

We wanna see y’all IRL. We’re planning some in-person events, just for the ladies. Click the link and let’s get out the group chat. 

Outside the Group Chat: Women’s Meetups

Love y’all! – Dex 💜

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Friend, this week was juicy and necessary. First off, I gave y’all some homework—yes, homework. Go listen to Atomic Habits and please, if you're struggling with your mental health, talk to a therapist. We love healing over here.

Dex gave us all the feels with her recap of her Cowboy Carter trip with her daughter—bonding, Beyoncé, boots and Black girl joy. In our Womanhood segment, we had to touch on B. Simone getting dragged again. This time it’s ‘cause she wore coochie cutters in church. The internet lost its mind. But let’s be real—why is she catching heat when she’s bringing people to Christ in her own way? Stop being hypocrites.

Then we had to unpack all this DV mess in the news—Diddy, DDG, Tory Lanez... it’s nonstop. The way some men are reacting, like there's a war on them, is wild. There's a real lack of understanding around what abuse even is. Dex and I both asked the real question: why are so many men still blaming women instead of addressing their own violence?

In our Motherhood segment, whew chile—Teyana Taylor and Iman Shumpert’s divorce drama got messy. Iman reported her for violating their agreement, and now she might face jail time... even though she let him slide when he did the same thing. Petty much?

Oh—and before I forget, we wanna see y’all IRL. We’re planning some in-person events, just for the ladies. Click the link and let’s get out the group chat. 

Outside the Group Chat: Women’s Meetups

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Friend… this episode was pure chaos—in the best way. We started off with Porsha from Real Housewives of Atlantathreatening to sleep with a castmate’s husband after an argument. Yes, the same Porsha who already married her ex-friend’s man. The audacity is clearly on clearance and she bought the whole rack. Me and Carla had to break that all the way down, because girl… what are you even doing?

Then we shifted gears to Amina Butterfly and her daughter straight-up refusing to go to school. No bullying, no issues—just vibes. The internet had opinions: some dragging Amina’s parenting, others offering support. Of course, we had to weigh in.

Next up, Trump is out here trying to boost the birth rate with a one-time $5K baby bonus. And baby… $5K?! That’s not even covering formula and wipes. These are crackhead prices.

And to wrap it up, B. Simone went online after sitting through a flight next to a tantrum-throwing baby. Carla thinks parents need to keep their kids in check mid-air. I say, give folks grace—babies gon’ baby.

It’s a ride from start to finish. Press play and let us know… so what now?

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Hey friend, it’s me, Carla! 💋 This week on So What Now, we’re giving flowers (and maybe some biscuits) to our Woman of the Week—Megan Thee Stallion—for opening her own Popeyes franchise and dropping that delicious “Hottie Sauce”! I LIVE for a business-savvy baddie, okay?! 💅🔥

Now, let’s talk “auntie”... because Dex is still not over it. We get into what it really means when people start calling you that—respect, shade, or both? After some laughs (and a little dragging), Dex might be warming up to the title—as long as nobody expects her to be a role model, LOL.

We also get real about motherhood. Jazzy’s holding it down solo (yes, I know she’s with Cam—but still, I said what I said 👀). We talk about losing your spark, shifting identity, and how so many mamas are running on empty with no village in sight.

And baby, don’t get me started on getting your makeup done for labor! Is it a power move or just for the 'Gram? Either way, do you, boo. We wrap things up with a spicy take on the celeb “C-tuck” trend—because this snapback pressure? It’s not giving realistic.

It's a juicy one—funny, honest, and full of those “so what now?” moments. Press play! 🎙️✨

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Hey y’all, it’s Carla! My birthday’s coming up, and let’s just say I’ve been in my feelings. In this episode I shared how I’ve been mourning parts of my younger self and wishing I could go back and change a few things. Dex reminded me that aging isn’t just loss — it’s also growth and new beginnings, and honestly, I needed to hear that.

We also unpacked a wild episode of Dear Future Wifey where a pastor’s wife said she used to iron her man’s clothes so he could go see his side chick. Yes, you read that right. She said it was her calling from God to support him — and while I respect her story, I had to come through with scripture because God did not call us to suffer through infidelity or abuse. Dex and I got into how the church sometimes pushes a “ride or die” message for women, and it’s not always holy — sometimes it’s just harmful.

Then we talked about the price of love — literally. A woman spent $10K on a dating coach and is now engaged. Dex thinks finding your person is priceless, but what do yall think? 

We close with a heavy listener letter from someone stuck in a relationship that’s emotionally draining and rooted in fear, not love. The message? Guilt isn't a reason to stay, and sometimes choosing yourself is the most loving thing you can do.

Real talk, spiritual checks, and birthday fears — this episode has it all.

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Hey friend, it’s Dex, and we’re back with another episode of So What Now? — where the convos are deep, the laughs are loud, and the side-eyes are always earned.

This week, we kicked things off with a little life catch-up. I ran a Hyrox race (yes, me — running, sweating, questioning my life choices), while Carla was out here being the hostess with the mostess for Easter. Deviled eggs were served, auntie gossip was flowing — it was fabulous. 

Then we got into that trending Traci Ellis Ross interview. Traci said, “I grieve the things that I thought would be and that are not.” No husband. No kids. And sometimes, sadness about that. So Carla asked the big question: Did we self-love ourselves into loneliness? She feels a woman needs male partnership. I said… let’s pause. Alone doesn’t have to mean lonely. And then I hit her with the real one: How exactly would a romantic relationship improve your life, ma’am? What do you need more than me? Let’s talk about it.

After that emotional rollercoaster, we had to pivot to something wild — the whole Shannon Sharpe situation. And listen… we are not as freaky as we thought we were. Period. We’re watching it all unfold, and it’s a ride we did not ask to be on.

Then we wrapped with a few listener letters from a mama who’s at her wits’ end with her grown daughter who refuses to follow the rules. To besties battling over a man, ew!  

Tune in, tap in, and DM us your thoughts — because chile, we had thoughts. Let’s get into it.

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Rate, Review & Follow UsIf you laughed, felt seen, or screamed "same," take 30 seconds to rate and review the show. ⭐ Scroll to the bottom of our Apple Podcasts page ⭐ Tap to rate 5 stars ⭐ Hit “Write a Review” and tell us what you loved most

Your support keeps this going—and we read every word.

Our Sponsors This episode is powered by our partners at Hi Hello Labs and Idea to Launch Productions. Looking to level up your podcast or bring your show to life? These are the teams making it happen.

Ready to Start Your Podcast? Let Carla help you launch your podcast in just 30 days. → Take the course now → Book a clarity call and get personal strategy support

Need Advice? Want to Sound Off? Send your questions, hot takes, or real-life mess to: 📧 [email protected]

We might read your letter on the next episode—anonymously, of course.

Hey friends, it’s Carla and this week’s episode of So What Now was a whole mix of “wait, what?” and “absolutely not.”

We kicked things off with Ayesha Howard, who recently responded to the backlash around her decision to keep her baby. And listen… her response didn’t move me. At all. I said what I said, and I still feel the same way.

Then we got into this Florida city trying to roll out a 4-day school week, which sounds cool until you realize... parents still work 5. So who’s watching the kids on that fifth day? Make it make sense. Policies like this just make parenting even harder, and we had a lot to say about it.

Of course, we couldn’t resist a little detour into celebrity mess this time it’s the Beckhams. Apparently the two brothers aren’t speaking because the younger one is now dating his big brother’s ex. Yes, you read that right. We unpacked that drama and asked the real question: Is it ever okay to date your sibling’s ex? (Spoiler: I have strong opinions)

And then we got a little deeper. Gabrielle Union recently walked back her old stance on 50/50 relationships, saying it came from a place of trauma. That opened the door for us to dig into the 4 trauma response types Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn. Which one are you? Are you a mix? Dex and I broke it all down and, let’s just say, we learned a lot about ourselves in the process.

As always, thanks for showing up, listening, and being part of this wild little podcast of ours. We’re grateful for y’all every week.

– Carla

CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

CARLA WILMARIS | DEX

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Rate, Review & Follow UsIf you laughed, felt seen, or screamed "same," take 30 seconds to rate and review the show. ⭐ Scroll to the bottom of our Apple Podcasts page ⭐ Tap to rate 5 stars ⭐ Hit “Write a Review” and tell us what you loved most

Your support keeps this going—and we read every word.

Our Sponsors This episode is powered by our partners at Hi Hello Labs and Idea to Launch Productions. Looking to level up your podcast or bring your show to life? These are the teams making it happen.

Ready to Start Your Podcast? Let Carla help you launch your podcast in just 30 days. → Take the course now → Book a clarity call and get personal strategy support

Need Advice? Want to Sound Off? Send your questions, hot takes, or real-life mess to: 📧 [email protected]

We might read your letter on the next episode—anonymously, of course.