Sober Edge

Are you tired of talking about alcohol and drinking and not drinking? I get it, just as we can experience recovery fatigue, I believe we can also burn out by talking about alcohol too much.

Yep, I want to invite you to NOT talk about alcohol.

I have shared before my philosophy that 'behavior comes last'. A quick refresher: changing our behavior is only one part of changing our relationship with alcohol. We must also change our thoughts and beliefs about alcohol. We have to go beyond willpower and the outdated idea of not 'picking up' (as the solution) as they say in some recovery circles.

The reality is, with my coaching clients, we spend only a small percentage of our time talking about drinking and not drinking. What we talk about instead is the reasons behind our drinking. We focus on making alcohol small by building a bigger life, one we don't want to hide from.

In this podcast episode, I break down the steps of what to do instead and why this is the sweet spot to lasting change.

Full Show Notes HERE

Midlife is often a time of big transitions. Giving up alcohol can also create monumental shifts. As we move through these transitions, we sometimes leave parts of ourselves behind, and sometimes we leave others behind.

My friend and fellow coach Aimee Ames has been on her own transitional journey, including going back to school to become a Functional Nutritionist, redefining her relationship with alcohol and ending a 23-year marriage. Along the way, Aimee discovered that 'you are your one true partner'. I love this saying as it reminds me of what I came to recognize in my own path: the one person who will be with you at the end, is you.

I am excited to share this conversation with you. Aimee is an incredible human who shares her wisdom freely and shares the difficult parts as well.

Amy also talked about her work with the Somatica Institute, training as an intimacy coach and a sex and relationship coach.

Find out more in the Show Notes HERE

There's a saying, "You become like the 5 people you spend the most time with". The wisdom behind this statement is the urgency. We recognize that we have a limited amount of time to rub shoulders with people who inspire us and challenge us to grow. And, it can prompt us to choose our friends wisely. Spend time with negative people and we might find ourselves complaining more. Spend time with positive people and we suddenly feel more energy and hopefulness.

In this podcast episode, I break down the ways we can do a personal inventory and start noticing if the things we are allowing into our lives are bringing us 'up' or bringing us 'down'. This exercise requires intention and space; the exact things that we have access to when we put alcohol aside.

We can use our clarity of mind, our free time and our energy to engage in new ways. But, beyond just bringing new things in and filling our days haphazardly, this exercise invites you to notice what feels good, what lights you up, what sparks your curiosity and your passion.

This alcohol-free life is a catalyst to paying attention; this is your opportunity to build the life you want!

Full Show Notes HERE

The Sober Summit - get your free ticket HERE

What's on your bucket list? Chances are it includes at least one place you want to travel to. But traveling sober? Many of us are nervous and might even avoid the idea of planning a sober vacation. After all, if you are like most of us, travel and alcohol went together without question.

Meet my friend Michelle Plante. Michelle is the founder of Michelle Plante Travels and, since becoming alcohol-free at the very beginning of 2019, her travel plans always include fabulous adventures where no alcohol is needed.

In addition to taking her travel experiences to a whole new level, Michelle shares what else has changed since becoming AF:

• She found the courage to leave a corporate job she felt stuck in
• Being AF allows her to quickly know if something is a yes or a no
• ...and more!

After discovering the joys of AF travel, Michelle is now curating Wellness, Adventure and Luxe trips for sober women.

Check out Michelle's adventures to Costa Rica and India, and follow along with her special travel blogs: all links in Show Notes

Are you excited about The 2024 Sober Summit? Get your free ticket to 24 fabulous speakers - link in Show Notes

If you have ever wondered if other people talk to themselves, the answer is yes. In one form or another, everyone has a voice in their head. This voice has a lot to say, and we listen. According to Ethan Kross, author of 'Chatter', if you have ever replayed a conversation in your mind, or coached yourself through a problem or skill, you've used your inner voice. Most people rely on and benefit from theirs every day. But what happens when our inner coach turns into the inner critic?

The clients I work with often find themselves stuck in negative self-talk and turning the talk around is an important part of coaching. On the current episode of the podcast, I share several ways to bring awareness to the voice in our heads and make peace with it. There are practical tips that help us become the 'cheerleader' vs. the 'critic':

• How to bring awareness to the voice in your head
• How others can help
• The power of perspective, aka self-distancing

Find out more tips in the Show Notes

And you struggle with negative self-talk, I am offering a book study, starting at the end of September, that will feature Chatter by Ethan Kross. This series will provide practical steps to turn that voice into your on-call coach! Find out more HERE

Loneliness is possible even when we are surrounded by people. In today's culture, we have more opportunities than ever to connect - we can face a family member, catch up with a video chat or reach out with a text message. Yet we often feel disconnected from others.

My guest on the podcast this week is Nick Jonsson, an executive coach and alcohol-free coach who understands the impact of loneliness. In fact, he wrote a book on the subject, 'Executive Loneliness'. In 2018, Nick found himself stressed out, drinking too much and feeling disconnected from his family, his friends and from life. He decided to make a change and, with the help of a 12-step program, he started his sober journey. Because of the anonymity of his program, Nick recovered in secret and didn't share openly about his new lease on life. That changed in 2019 when a good friend committed suicide. Nick realized that he had no idea his friend was struggling, and he vowed to start a brave conversation about loneliness, mental health and recovery.

Visit the Show Notes page to learn more about Nick and his work

IAccording to a 2018 independent study by Drinkware, 60% of adults admit to using alcohol to cope with stress. If your stress is caused by burnout, alcohol is the worst possible solution.

In our conversation today, my guest Jamie Phillips, shared the signs of burnout:

• Living in fight or flight
• Never recovering from stress
• Adrenal fatigue/exhaustion
• Loss of agency
• Survival mode
• Brain fog
• Poor sleep

In addition to burnout and recovery, Jamie and I talked about how 'drinking was her favorite thing' and the prevalence of alcohol in the queer community. Jamie shares openly and honestly how she discovered a deeper layer of purpose behind alcohol.

You can find out more in the Show Notes

I am excited to dig deep into our belief system and how these conscious and sub-conscious beliefs can keep us stuck as we make changes in our relationship with alcohol and beyond.

First, let's talk about the three levels of belief - particularly relevant when we think about alcohol:

1. Substance (what we believe about the liquid alcohol
2. Society (what our culture, our family of origin and society tells us about alcohol that we have come to accept as the truth)
3. Self (what we believe about ourselves that relates to alcohol)

These levels of belief are in order (1-3) intentionally. Challenging our belief system gets harder as we move from substance to society to self. (For more on this, and examples, listen to this week's podcast episode.)

So, how are beliefs formed, and how do we challenge the beliefs that no longer serve us?

Listen in to learn how beliefs are formed and the socratic method which can help you discern your own truth when it comes to alcohol.

More details in the SHOWNOTES

Women's Hormones - Menopause - Weight Gain - Alcohol - Fasting

In today's episode we talk about women's hormones and my guest helps break down what we can do to thrive no matter what stage of life we are in!

Meet my friend and fellow coach, Elly Young. Elly is a wealth of information when it comes to understanding how best to support our hormones. Elly is an expert in cycle-syncing, which is a fascinating practice of eating to support your hormones. And, if you are post-menopausal, you can learn to use metabolic-syncing to achieve the same results!

This episode is packed with great information to empower you to support your body as you age. Some of the subjects we cover:

• How increased cortisol from alcohol can impact our hormones (and contribute to breast cancer risk)
• The need to keep our liver healthy (goodbye alcohol) to help detox from estrogen - too much estrogen means hormone imbalance and also contributes to an increased risk of breast cancer.
• Why eating low-carb can create an imbalance in our hormones
• How to rebalance your hormones in just 30 days
• When Elly realized "I will never be skinny again"

Visit the Show Notes HERE

We all want to understand the meaning of life, and so do our mythical heroes. They often go on adventures to strange worlds, fight dark forces, and come back with new knowledge.

The hero's journey explains this adventure by breaking it into stages. It shows how a hero faces and overcomes challenges to learn and grow.

Does this remind you of your own alcohol-free journey? In this episode of The Sober Edge Podcast, I share my take on an AF hero's journey.

The 12 steps outlined in the graphic are easy to adapt to our own journey to alcohol-freedom. Just like the heroes of mythology or your favorite Star Wars character, you are called to the adventure of a lifetime!

Full Show Notes HERE

Ready for your own AF Adventure?

Join The SELF Experience waitlist for women who are alcohol-free and looking for more

Join REFRESH, a program for women who are struggling to become or stay alcohol-free