Sober Edge

Compassion and Self-Compassion is critical for your AF journey.

One of the most important steps in our AF journey is learning how to move through life with more compassion and self-compassion. This one key shift can help us to broaden our perspective, let go of expectations and forgive ourselves.

In this episode of The Sober Edge podcast, I focus on three key areas:

• Compassion for Others
• Compassion for Self
• Compassion for the World

Compassion for ourselves can be the most difficult. We are so often our worst critics and while others may more easily forgive and forget, we might find ourselves ruminating on the past. With self-compassion, we can explore a softer and gentler approach.

And, don't forget compassion towards your new AF life. Check out the show notes for 7 Ways to Observe and Act on Compassion in an Alcohol-Free Life.

Show Notes Here

Language + Breath + Movement = Clarity

I love words - I believe they hold great power.

I also have come to respect the role that story plays in our lives, both the stories we tell ourselves and the stories we carry from others.

My post-alcohol life has also led me to realize that I am not just a thinking being but also a feeling and moving being.

My guest on the podcast this week is the developer of NLSE. Our conversation touches on all of these things; breath, story, brain and body, and perhaps most importantly, how we combine these elements and actions to create a new experience and a new understanding of oneself.

Kyle Smith is a Clarity Consultant and an 'accidentally sober' human. In this episode of The Sober Edge, we touch on the following topics (and more):

• How to declutter our racing thoughts
• Removing emotional clogs to open our heart
• The mindset gym for mental fitness
• Macronutrients of the mind

Full Show Notes HERE

Many of us struggle with the shame we feel about becoming addicted to alcohol. We can intellectually understand that alcohol is addictive, but we often feel that we should 'know better' or "it could never happen to me".

In my recent studies at Stanford University, where I completed a certificate in the Psychology of Addiction, Dr. Anna Lempke shared the reasons behind why people become addicted to alcohol (and other drugs).

In this episode of The Sober Edge podcast I break down what we know about genetics, the impact of our family of origin and the role that our neighborhood or culture plays in our risk factors for addiction.

Here are some of the highlights:

• The role of nature, nurture, neighborhood
• How advertisers use our emotional brain to trigger desires to drink
• Why we need to pay attention to dopamine when we are drinking and when we stop drinking
• The good news about alcohol addiction

Show Notes HERE

Do you recall what you loved to do when drinking was not part of the 'all-inclusive' package?

My guest on Episode 165 of the podcast is Darci Murray, who believes wholeheartedly in "Sensory Heightened Travel". Darci has been 'hooked' on travel since childhood, having grown up with a mom who was a travel agent and learning early on to love new adventures.

Darci is one of several travel agents who are newly focused on AF and sober travel, but she is doing things a little bit differently.

Hooked on travel is intentional about creating experiences that allow us to be fully immersed in the local culture, and allow us to explore the things that light us up. When we stop taking alcohol on vacation, we have the beautiful opportunity to experience a part of ourselves that we might have lost to booze.

Darci also has some unique offers, including traveling with 'sober locals', 'dry grad trips' and an invitation to our sober supportive friends and family!

Find out more in the Show Notes HERE

What if you had a road map to a sober life you love? What if it came in four simple steps? Does that sound easier than a lifetime of 'working on yourself'?

I know that life is not simple; humans are complex. We have emotions, backgrounds, circumstances, and it would be foolish to think that we could expect everyone's sober journey to look the same. But, after 5+ years of working with hundreds and hundreds of women on their AF journey, I have discovered a few things to help you move forward.

Having a framework is powerful; it allows our minds to focus in on the process and can help make change less overwhelming. The first two steps from last week are: know yourself and grow yourself. I have found that starting with these two explorations sets us up for the next two steps: love yourself and be yourself.

Let's unpack this together:

Love Your SELF: Learning to love ourselves is hard for most of us. Drinking can rob us of the ability to love ourselves fully. We often carry shame, guilt and regret about our drinking and over-drinking. When we put down the bottle, we can begin to practice loving thoughts and behaviors towards ourselves. This is the ultimate self-care; learning to care for ourselves with love and compassion.

Be Your SELF: As we learn the first three steps, we gradually start to feel more comfortable in our own skin. We feel more authentic, and we find ways to ask for more, and to give more. Learning to 'be' is the ultimate lesson in life, one that takes a lifetime to learn. When alcohol is present, we delay this beautiful evolution. When alcohol is removed, we start the great adventure of life!

Full Show Notes HERE

Want to know about The SELF Experience? Find out more HERE

Today, I share two areas that I am focused on and that I help clients explore when we ask, 'what now, what next?' on this alcohol-free journey.

The first place to start is to KNOW yourself. So many of us go through life without asking 'who are we?'. I love self-reflection and I love a good quiz, but trust me, finding out which Disney Princess you are is not the same as knowing yourself:)

It's not that we have purposefully gone through life without looking in the mirror, but women wear a lot of hats; wife, mother, employee, caregiver. It's no surprise that we often filter who we are by who we are with. And, for many of us, giving up alcohol allows us to start to explore who we are outside the roles we play, who we are on the inside.

The second step, I believe, on this path to living alcohol-free is to GROW yourself. When we leave alcohol behind, we are in a unique position of having more time, energy and clarity to devote to personal growth.

Here are a few takeaways from this episode:

• How to get to know yourself again
• What are core values, and why do they matter?
• Ways to grow into your AF life
• How to lead with curiosity

Show Notes HERE

If you would enjoy participating in a small group and having a guide, I invite you to check out The SELF Experience program where we spend time on these two important steps of not only living AF but thriving AF! The SELF Experience

Are you ready for a Good Mood Revolution? I know I am! I think we can all use a bit more joy and happiness in our daily lives.

I sat down with Matt O'Neill, author and podcast host of The Good Mood Revolution. We had an enlightening conversation about the 8 Negative Moods and the 8 Positive Moods. Matt is an expert at breaking down big concepts into bite-sized, actionable steps.

Here are some highlights from our chat:

• How to catch yourself doing something right
• The biggest myth about happiness
• Why you should focus on your negative thoughts
• Never complain again - your new superpower

Matt's book will be released in mid-December. What a perfect read for the New Year!

Show Notes HERE

Want to hear Matt talk about his book? He will be joining us in January in The Sober Edge Book Club as part of our Author Spotlight series. Find out how to join the club HERE

My journey continues beyond learning how to become AF and yours will too.

I think the most striking difference between becoming AF and living AF is the shift in focus and time. I have experienced and witnessed what is possible when alcohol is out of the way.

Time feels different now that I am living alcohol-free. The time I used to spend drinking, thinking about drinking and recovering from drinking is now 'new time'. And, with a new sense of time, I have been able to explore this next chapter of my life. When I was drinking, time passed with me numbing out and with opportunities missed. Now, time is lived vs. passed. I create experiences vs. avoiding them.

I shared in Part 1 my journey through my first Sober Anniversary. In those first 12 months, so many things shifted for me, but I was still focusing a lot on behavior and those raw emotions. I spent that first year doing a few things that set me up for the next stage - living alcohol-free.

I didn't have a road map or a guide for my AF journey (boy, do I wish I had!). I think I pushed my way through those first few months with force - I even used some of my anger to fuel my resolve. But, as I moved past year 1, my emotions started to level, and I began to feel excited and peaceful as I settled into my 'new normal'.

(Listen in on this episode to hear more of my lessons, or go to the Show Notes)

The lessons continue. Just like happiness is a direction, not a destination, living AF is an expansive state of being, not a place where we arrive. If I had stopped at just 'becoming alcohol-free', I would have stayed in that place of focusing on my behavior and my emotions. I would have missed the place where I am now, a place where the adventure of life continues to unfold in new and surprising ways.

Cheers to LIVING Alcohol-Free!

Full Show Notes Here

The SELF Experience - find out more about living AF!

On October 18, 2015, I woke up with a slight hangover and a mountain of guilt. I had let myself down, again, but I had also let other people down. I felt like a horrible person, someone I didn't recognize. I had finally had enough - enough of letting alcohol be the most important relationship in my life.

After that one decision almost 9 years ago, my life has unfolded in ways I could only have imagined. While I felt in my gut that I was meant for more, I had spent so long tamping down my dreams and ideas that I had no idea what might lie ahead. I have always been a 'personal growth junkie' listening to Zig Ziglar on cassette tapes and joining several MLM's to rub shoulders with other dreamers. But my dreams were always plagued with doubts that I could do more and be more. I now recognize that alcohol was a way to soften the blow of an unfulfilled life.

This episode is a 'look back' at becoming AF, it's a glimpse into those early days. In this episode I share 4 things I have embraced by becoming AF.

Next week, I will follow up with 'Living Alcohol-Free' a glimpse into these past 8 years and I will share 5 more things I've learned along the way.

Show Notes Here

Empowered AF 5x Coaching Certification - the doors are closing! This is your chance to join and save $1000. If you have wondered, dreamed or imagined becoming a life coach and helping other's experience freedom from alcohol, this is an incredible offer. Use this link to find our more, apply and save $1000!

What if you stopped drinking and followed your passion for a new AF business? That's exactly what happened to Marlys Aspinwall and her husband Chuck.

In 2021, after she found herself drinking too much during COVID, Marlys decided to take a break. Her husband quickly followed her lead. Three months later, they opened a pop-up bottle shop.

Marlys shares in this episode of The Sober Edge podcast that at the time, they hadn't even decided that their break from alcohol was going to be permanent. But, after experiencing the connection and the opportunity to encourage their customers, they were hooked. Chuck began searching for a brick and mortar storefront where they could set up a bottle shop and a sober bar.

I asked Marlys to share some tips for starting an AF business and for working with your partner. Here's what she had to share:

• Divide the key aspects of the business based on what you are good at and love to do
• Get the community involved
• Ask for help
• ...and more!

Find the full show notes HERE, along with a coupon code for 15% off your first order!