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Stefani Goerlich, professor, author of “Sprinkles,” & a sex therapist, discusses her journey into the field of sexuality, working with students & patients. In this conversation, Stefani Goerlich discusses that while kink & BDSM have become more mainstream in recent years, many "vanilla" people still find the concept off-putting or disturbing. However, consensual exploration of power dynamics & erotic psychology can profoundly deepen intimate connections in relationships. She shares a powerful story of helping a couple navigate the difference between consensual kink & abuse. 

TAKEAWAYS

• Understanding what is normal and healthy in relationships requires unlearning societal biases.
• Consensual kink and BDSM can be misunderstood and stigmatized, but it is important to differentiate between consensual kink and abuse.
• Maintaining boundaries as a sex therapist is crucial to ensure the therapeutic relationship is not influenced by personal experiences or biases.
• Exploring & striving to understand each person’s erotic identity is important for couples with differing desire levels. 
• When couples want to open their relationship, clarifying their motivations is important. 
• Partners supporting someone with trauma should reframe their role as holding space and providing support.

EPISODE LINKS

• Stefani's Podcast - Securing Sexuality
• Stefani's - Securing Sexuality Conference
• Stefani's - Counseling Services
• Stefani's Book - The Leather Couch
• Stefani's Book - Sprinkles on Top
• Stefani's Book - Kink Affirming Practice
• Download the Duluth Model Wheel of Power and Control

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