On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Stop Chasing Emotionally Unavailable People (Listen To This To Attract a Long Term Relationship And Stop Wasting Your Time In The Wrong Ones) With Lisa Bilyeu


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Have you ever found yourself holding onto someone who couldn’t fully open up to you?

Have you ever stayed in a relationship longer than you should have, hoping things would finally get better?

In today’s episode, I’m doing something a little different. My good friend Lisa Bilyeu flips the script and interviews me. Lisa is the co-founder of the billion-dollar company Quest Nutrition, founder of Women of Impact, and one of the most honest, fearless voices I know when it comes to growth, relationships, and empowerment. Together, we unpack some of the most misunderstood truths about relationships, from why we settle to how we can start making choices rooted in self-worth rather than fear.

We talk about how to stop crowd-sourcing your most important life decisions and why learning to listen to your own voice—without all the outside opinions—is one of the most healing things you can do. I share the real reason many of us struggle with being alone, how to break the cycle of chasing emotionally unavailable partners, and why true love should feel like peace—not anxiety dressed up as passion.

This episode is about so much more than dating. It’s about rebuilding your self-worth one choice at a time. I walk you through my 5 daily habits that help me build inner confidence, how to tell when you’re compromising in love versus losing yourself, and the honest questions you need to ask before deciding whether to stay—or walk away.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to Stop Settling and Start Choosing From Confidence

How to Trust Your Intuition Without Second-Guessing Yourself

How to Break Free From the Fear of Being Alone

How to Create Peace In Order to Attract a Healthy Relationship

How to Know If You’re Compromising or Abandoning Yourself

How to Build Self-Worth With 5 Simple Daily Habits

I’m so grateful to Lisa for creating this space. I hope it brings you a deeper sense of direction, healing, and the reminder that you are always worth choosing—especially by yourself.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here.

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:21 The Three Reasons We Settle in Love

04:24 We All Have a Different Take on Love

06:36 The 7-Day Opinion Fast 

13:15 Why Do We Keep Chasing the Wrong Person?

17:29 The Technique Men Use to Flirt with Women

23:44 The Difference Between Adapting vs. Diminishing Yourself in Relationships

28:39 This is the Biggest Reason for Breakups & How to Avoid It

31:50 Promoting a Healthy Relationship Through 'US' and 'WE'

34:52 Never Say these Two Words During An Argument 

36:41 Is it Love or Just Lust?

38:24 Are You Comfortable or Complacent in Your Relationship?

45:24 Don't Let Your Insecurities Affect Your Current Relationship

48:06 The Three People You'll Fall With in Love in Your Life

53:29 Why Trust Should Be Given Easily

56:02 Fixing Someone Isn't Your Responsibility

01:00:39 Three Ways to Adapt to Your Partner's Personality 

01:06:23 You Can't Live on Someone Else’s Timeline

01:12:29 This is the Type of Conversation You Should be Having With Your Partner

01:16:16 5 Daily Habits to Build Self-Worth

01:22:47 Best Nighttime Routine to Block Negative Thoughts

01:25:25 Jay's On Tour Update

Episode Resources:

Lisa Bilyeu | Website

Lisa Bilyeu | Instagram 

Lisa Bilyeu | TikTok 

Lisa Bilyeu | Facebook

Lisa Bilyeu | YouTube

Lisa Bilyeu | X

Lisa Bilyeu | LinkedIn

Women of Impact Podcast

Radical Confidence: 11 Lessons on How to Get the Relationship, Career, and Life You Want

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