Struggle Care

A big part of the discussion around mental health, wellness, and self-care is not to overlook the factors that may have contributed to some form of religious trauma in your life. If you are someone who has a religious background and might be deconstructing from a religion (Christianity, in particular), today’s conversation will help you navigate that journey. I’m joined by Rev. Lizzie, an Episcopal priest who is based in Austin, Texas, where she is the founding planter of Jubilee Episcopal Church. There is something inspiring and comforting in this conversation for everyone, no matter your relationship with religion. Join us!

Show Highlights:



●      Shocker: “Cleanliness is next to godliness” is not in the Bible, so you are not morally sinful if your sink is full of dirty dishes.

●      Why Christianity can be comforting to us in our feelings of brokenness and unworthiness

●      Where the phrase about cleanliness and godliness originated–as a way to teach that our “inside” is a more important focus than our outward appearance

●      The danger of misunderstanding “God commands” and “God cares”

●      Why much of what people “think” is Christianity is a misunderstanding of God’s grace and love for our souls

●      Why the vastness of God cannot be contained solely within the bounds of scripture

●      How we each have a “canon within a canon” of the scriptures that we hold the most sacred and important

●      What Rev. Lizzie wants us to understand about the word “jubilee” and what it means about freedom, justice, and joy

Connect with Rev. Lizzie: TikTok, Instagram, and And Also With You Podcast

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Resilience. You’ve heard the word, I’m sure, but do you know what it means and how it plays out in real-life situations? Building resilience through pain and difficulties is today’s topic, and Dr. Patrice Berry is here to help us understand. She is a licensed clinical psychologist in Virginia who enjoys creating educational content on social media to provide additional education and information to people she can’t see in her local office. Join us!

 Show Highlights:

●      How Dr. Patrice sees resilience in her work with trauma survivors

●      How Dr. Patrice defines resilience

●      Why resilience can be both an innate ability and a learned skill/tool

●      Why resilience comes from a growth mindset of honoring pain and seeing light through pain

●      What it means to balance pain and trauma

●      How a supportive network helps build resilience by making someone know they are seen, heard, understood, and not alone

●      Dr. Patrice’s take on the oft-used statement: “Children are resilient.”

●      Why children need to experience difficulties, disappointments, mistakes, and pain (not intentionally-caused pain)

●      The role of resilience in being the difference between surviving and thriving

●      How to find joy—even in the midst of surviving

●      How Dr. Patrice teaches the resilience-building skill of “doing the opposite”

●      How to give yourself accommodations

●      The relationship between resilience and persistence

Resources and Links:

Connect with Dr. Patrice Berry: TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and (book) Turning Crisis into Clarity: How to Survive or Thrive in the Midst of Uncertainty

Book mentioned by Dr. Patrice: Trauma-Proofing Your Kids by Peter Levine

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The thing about boundaries is that they are much more complex than most people assume. The world of boundary-setting is rarely colored with clearly defined black-and-white choices. Today’s episode is a conversation with my friend Bethany about her relationship with her father and how she handled boundaries in ways that felt authentic to her. We are discussing how boundaries come into play in the relationships we have and the decision-making process we use. Join us to learn more!

Show Highlights:

●      A little background on Bethany’s dad, their relationship, and how she grew up not feeling wanted and approved by him

●      How Bethany’s relationship with her dad got worse as she became an adult and encountered her personal addiction issues

●      How Bethany learned hard lessons about communicating with her dad

●      Why Bethany decided to maintain her relationship with her dad—even though he gave her every reason not to

●      How Bethany set hard boundaries by not engaging with him when he was drinking and verbally abusive to her

●      How extra complexities came into their relationship when his health declined and he needed her more and more

●      Why Bethany’s decisions to engage and re-engage were never about believing he would change

●      Why the boundary decisions we make are less about what is right or wrong and more about how we can remain an authentic, whole person

●      How Bethany handled his terminal illness in ways that left her with no regrets

Resources and Links:

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Are you at the end of your rope dealing with a dog who always seems to be the problem? I’ve been there, and I can say that there is hope! Today’s episode is a nice wrap-up as the final part of our series on dog training. Jacqui Zakar joins us from her home in Australia for today’s discussion about coping when your dog is “the problem.” Jacqui is a dog trainer I follow on TikTok, and I know she brings a lot of great advice and expertise to this important topic. Join us!

Show Highlights:

●      Why Jacqui understands from personal experience what it’s like to have a reactive dog that’s labeled as “that dog”

●      What Jacqui identifies as the most common misconception around dog training

●      Why Jacqui wants parents to take a closer look at the relationship between their dog and their child

●      Why socialization for your puppy is NOT the only answer to behavior problems

●      Why we sometimes have to adjust our expectations of life with “this dog” because of their individuality

●      Why Jacqui starts her training by assessing how a dog deals with different types of pressure

●      Why training should focus on small steps and ONE thing at a time

●      What to do when you’re at the end of your rope with a problem dog

●      Why the best question to ask when getting a dog is, “Which dog will fit best into my lifestyle?”

●      What KC discovered about her dog through using aversive methods (with a trainer) and teaching boundaries

●      How to use a “welfare lens” in understanding long-term stress vs. a stressful moment in your dog’s training

Resources and Links:

Connect with Jacqui Zakar: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you are a parent or have spent time with expectant and new parents, you’ve probably heard the phrase, “Breast is best.” The phrase is used to promote breastfeeding as a superior way to feed a baby, and it has terrorized many new parents along the way. My guest is Mallory Whitmore, “The Formula Mom,” who is a passionate advocate for formula-feeding parents. Join us for the discussion! 

Show Highlights:

●      How and when “breast is best” originated and became a popular slogan

●      The tragic and manipulative history of formula marketing

●      How “Breast is best” has come to symbolize superior parenting choices and not merely nutrition

●      How breastfeeding is often the first failure in parenthood and one that causes extreme mom guilt

●      Mallory’s take on the question: Is breast best?

●      Why most parenting choices are a cost/benefit decision

●      The truth about the data behind “Breast is Best”---and why the research is skewed

●      KC’s personal experience of struggling to breastfeed and switching to formula

●      Why the fundamental issue here is a woman’s bodily autonomy, something most people support in every other circumstance

●      Why the “lacti-vism” movement is wrong in assigning moral superiority to the act of breastfeeding

●      The realities of life around breastfeeding on the job and a lack of empathy

●      Why Mallory’s mission is to support and empower formula moms to combat the shame—not to convince people not to breastfeed

Resources and Links:

Connect with Mallory: Instagram, TikTok, and Milk Drunk

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s topic is exciting: toxic masculinity, which might be better termed “functional masculinity.” I’m joined by Alex Frankel, who grew up in San Francisco clearly understanding that the definition of hotness was dictated by beautiful people in popular magazines. During his entire childhood, he felt trapped in his fat body and hated how he looked. He finally realized that being hot was more than perfect abs and bulging biceps but more of an attitude. Alex is now a successful plus-size model, and he’s a body-acceptance advocate and role model for fat guys all around the world. He created the Hot Fat Guy Club to dispel the myths around diet, culture, fatphobia, and other fat people stereotypes. His goal was to create a welcoming community where people are celebrated and not shamed for their body types. Why do I love this topic? It’s because men are not often talked about in the body positivity movement. Join us for a new perspective from a Hot Fat Guy!

Show Highlights:

●      An overview of Dr. Ronald Levant’s Seven Tenets of Traditional Masculine Ideology

●      Where the problem of masculinity originates because of deeply entrenched patriarchy, traditional masculine values, programming, and gender policing

●      Fascinating trends in how young boys and girls segregate themselves until puberty hits

●      Why Alex believes a lack of empathy and respect for other human beings are core issues with today’s masculinity

●      How we are taught the power differential by society around relationships and rejection

●      How programmed traditional masculinity can be dormant until it flares up later in life

●      The link between church and religious propaganda and traditional masculinity

●      Why men have been programmed by traditional masculinity around vulnerability and feeling shame in showing emotions

●      Three things to note around weaponized vulnerability, emotional safety, and caring feelings

●      An example about the inability to express or understand emotions

Resources and Links:

 Connect with Alex Frankel and the Hot Fat Guy Club: TikTok and Instagram

Mentioned in this episode: Therapy Chat podcast and The Tough Standard: The Hard Truths About Masculinity and Violence by Ronald F. Levant and Shana Pryor

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Many people struggle with executive functioning skills, which are the mental skills that we use every day to learn, work, and manage tasks in daily life. My guest is Hannah Choi from Beyond Booksmart. She is an executive function coach who hosts Focus Forward: An Executive Function Podcast. She has over 20 years of experience working with students of all ages but currently focuses her coaching on college students and adults. Hannah was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and has spent her life trying to figure out systems to make things easier and less awful for those with executive functioning challenges. Join us to learn more from Hannah!

Show Highlights:

 ●      An overview of Beyond Booksmart and what they offer through their coaching programs

●      How Hannah explains executive function skills

●      Why executive function skills are greatly impacted by our stress levels

●      How working memory is impaired by executive function challenges

●      The importance of figuring out the WHY of your struggle

●      How Hannah works with someone with time blindness by using a BVA (budgeted vs. actual) tool

●      Why you need to give yourself compassion as you identify your struggle and find workable solutions

Connect with Hannah Choi and Beyond Booksmart: Website and the Focus Forward Podcast

 Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s topic is about the religious trauma that many people encounter as they grow up, patriarchy, and the way religion tends to weaponize mental health. I’ve had my various issues with religion, but I want this episode to be helpful to those who consider themselves religious and those who do not. I’m joined by Karla, who is an Interfaith Interspiritual minister who refers to herself as “spiritual, but not religious.” Join us!

Show Highlights:

●      How Rev. Karla came into her “deconstructing religion” phase

●      How a journey of religious deconstruction puts a person into a kind of freefall

●      What it means to go into the “spiritual wilderness”

●      Why Rev. Karla calls herself an unchurched, non-conforming Christian

●      Why we should question authority, religion, and the patriarchy

●      How we are intuitively connected to our inner wisdom and what is happening around us

●      Why we need spiritual autonomy

●      Thoughts on the Netflix documentary, Escaping Twin Flames

●      How some religions weaponize any mental health issues as indicators that faith, spiritual grounding, and leadership potential are lacking

●      Why sexual exploitation almost always shows up when patriarchy is in full force

●      The correlation between mental health and religious trauma

Resources and Links:

Connect with Rev. Karla: TikTok, Instagram, Facebook,

and Spirituality Matters podcast

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You

can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on

our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As we continue with the topic of responsible dog ownership for those with mental health challenges, I’m joined today by Andrew Gleason of Dog Savvy Training. He’s my personal dog trainer, and I love his approach. Join us to learn more about training and teaching your four-legged “wild child.”

Show Highlights:

●      How Andrew came into the work he does today

●      Why most obedience training is a way to control misbehavior—and falls short

●      Why most dog behaviors fall into two categories of suppression or reaction

●      How Andrew breaks down a simple issue like leash-walking

●      How learning for all mammals comes down to constructional model learning and emotional model learning

●      How to support your dog’s learning

●       What “force-free training” entails with a more holistic approach

●      How Andrew attempts to take a healthy approach to limitations, boundaries, and respect

●      How common training techniques don’t communicate learning

●      How Andrew uses aversions and optimism to teach a dog about the freedom of choice

●      An overview of Andrew’s company, Dog SavvyTraining, and their scope of both in-person and virtual training

Resources and Links:

Connect with Andrew Gleason and Dog Savvy

Training: Website

and Facebook

Connect with KC: Website,

TikTok, Instagram,

and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep

House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You

can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on

our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What do dogs have to do with struggle care? If you had lived in my shoes, you would understand. What was I thinking? I decided to celebrate all of my kids finally being in school by getting a puppy! It has been a journey of figuring out why I have a dog when I have ADHD and chronic fatigue–but we love our dog! I reached out to four different trainers to talk about the idea that it’s okay to have pets, even if you have struggles in your life. Let’s take a closer look with Ash, Aaron, Steph, and Joel at dog ownership and dog training in a way that ensures a good and mutually fulfilling partnership between our dogs and ourselves. Join us!

Show Highlights: 

●      The fact is that life changes, and it doesn’t have to be perfect to give a dog a good life. The bare minimum is okay until you can do better.

●      An emphasis on owner-focused training gives high-output results with low input; the small things count!

●      An important factor to consider is energy level management because you can’t always rely on being able to manhandle (or pick up) the dog.

●      How to approach dog ownership in regards to breed, size, temperament, habits, and maintenance

●      Why a consistent 60% effort is better than an inconsistent pattern of 100% and nothing

●      Why the same tips don’t work for every person and every dog

●      Why the most important thing is to train your dog on how to handle their energy

●      How we over moralize many aspects of dog ownership, like rescue dogs vs. breeder puppies

●      How to approach physical exercise AND mental exercise with your dog

●      How a dog’s needs can be met in ways that fit in with ANY lifestyle

●      Training priorities for a dog living with an owner with a struggle care background

●      How to know if your dog is happy

●      Enrichment activities for dogs that don’t involve the owner

●      Why dogs are community builders

Resources and Links:

Connect with Ash: Website,

TikTok, and Instagram

Connect with Aaron: TikTok

Connect with Steph: TikTok,

Instagram,

Facebook, and Podcast

Connect with Joel: TikTok,

Facebook,

and Instagram

Connect with KC: Website,

TikTok, Instagram,

and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep

House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You

can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on

our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices