Struggle Care

We continue our family vlogging conversation today, discussing how often our kids get put out and displayed on the internet and how that affects them. I have Catie Reay joining me to talk about how children get exploited in family vlogging. Catie was raised in a religious cult and had to overcome childhood sexual abuse. Now, she advocates for children online, dedicating her time to helping parents navigate conversations with their children about online safety. Her viewpoint will provide everyone with food for thought. Let’s dive in! 

Show Highlights:

Resources and Links:

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Catie Reay on Instagram and TikTok (@thetiktokadvocate)

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If you have much experience with family vlogs, chances are that today’s topic has crossed your mind. My guest, Cam, is here to share her personal experience growing up as the child of one of the first well-known “Mommy bloggers.” Cam is an international advocate for children of influencers and family vloggers. She takes a stand against child exploitation, going as far as speaking to lawmakers and appearing in documentaries. Her perspective will give us all something to think about. Join us to learn more!

Show Highlights:

●      How to understand what family vlogging is

●      Cam’s take on two high-profile cases involving family vlogs that have been in the headlines

●      Cam’s experience as a child when her life was on display through her mom’s blog

●      What happens to a child when a parent overshares about their lives

●      How controversy always causes people to “click”--and more clicks mean more money!

●      The effect of growing up with a lack of privacy that caused embarrassment and vulnerability in Cam

●      Why consent is at the heart of this issue for kids

●      Can family vlogging be done ethically?

●      Why it can be devastating to feel exposed by the people who should protect you the most

●      Cam’s advocacy efforts to keep children from being exploited online

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you are an avid Love is Blind watcher, you will definitely relate to this episode. If you haven’t watched the show, we will catch you up on the structure of the show and why it is so fascinating as a study in relationships, both healthy and toxic. Emily and I both made lists of relationship red flags that we noticed in Love is Blind, and we are discussing those and how they relate to real-life relationships. As a disclaimer, I know that reality TV is heavily edited and that everything is contextual. We don’t know these people personally, so please take our opinions with a grain of salt. Join us!

Show Highlights:

●      A look at Izzy and Stacey’s relationship—and the red flags on both sides of this polarizing couple

●      A Red Flag: Teasing and comments about appearance

○      What to watch out for: In early dating relationships, look out for how quick someone is to tease you about your physical appearance.

●      A Red Flag: When someone doesn’t have the emotional skill set to hold space for past trauma, mistakes, and vulnerability

○      What to watch out for: Someone who wants to establish their moral superiority to hold the power in the relationship.

●      A Red Flag: When someone’s enjoyment of me decreases if I’m not sexually attractive to them

○      What to watch out for: Someone who shuts down when you don’t look your best.

●      A Red Flag: Fake intimacy defending itself as “honesty” in disclosing vulnerabilities that are hurtful to their partner

○      What to watch out for: Someone who is emotionally immature about what intimacy and vulnerability mean in a monogamous relationship

●      The nuances of financial stability in a relationship–and who should pay for dates

●      Factors that determine compatibility in a relationship–and why that matters so much

Resources and Links:

Connect with Emily Rose: Instagram and Podcast

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As Thanksgiving is just around the corner, gratitude is an important topic. It is important to offer a more nuanced perspective, because gratitude can be complicated and can look very different for different people. Gratitude goes beyond the simple phrase, “Just be grateful.” In today’s Part 1 of two episodes, we want to give people a brave place to let their true feelings be what they are, regardless of others’ expectations. How do we practice gratitude in a way that isn’t toxic positivity but still validates our feelings and raises our quality of life? My friend, Christine Koh, is here to contribute to the discussion. She is a speaker, creative consultant, author of Minimalist Parenting, and the podcast co-host of Edit Your Life. Join us!

Show Highlights: 

●      How we define gratitude–it doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone!

●      How gratitude can be an embracing the joy that is random in life–just as suffering is

●      How we define toxic positivity–and how it relates to motherhood

●      Why we, as a society, aren’t very good at sitting with uncomfortable emotions and pain

●      How Christine’s background and Asian heritage inform her view of toxic positivity

●      How spiritual bypassing relates to toxic positivity in not allowing feelings to be processed and explored

●      Why Christine is a fan of cognitive reframing–and how she uses this practical exercise to “flip the script”

●      Why we have to give voice to our suffering to process the feelings and move toward growth

●      How gratitude is an emotional muscle that we have to flex in our own ways

●      Christine’s advice to parents about teaching gratitude while not pushing toxic positivity on our kids

●      Why it is important for parents to model a wide range of emotions in front of our kids

Resources and Links:

Connect with Christine Koh: Website, Podcast, and Minimalist Parenting book

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you are a Southerner, you know we have unique words, phrases, and expressions that are not understood by people who aren’t from around here. My guest today is doing his part to educate the world about all things Southern as the content creator behind his hilarious social media accounts on Instagram and TikTok. Landon Bryant is a Laurel, MS, native whose Southern roots go deep; he is an art educator by profession–and he is learning to navigate life with ADHD. Join us to hear more from Landon!

Show Highlights: 

●      An introduction to the Southern words “piddlin’” and “putterin’”---and what they mean

●      How Landon was diagnosed with ADHD as a college student and finally received helpful accommodations

●      Why Landon feels that being an art teacher is the perfect profession for someone like him

●      Why mental health issues carry a heavy stigma in the South, especially in rural areas where the church is the dominant force in the community

●      Highlights of Landon’s book, Bless Your Heart, “a beautiful guide to life down here” (Set to publish in early 2025)

●      How conversations and comments about ”fixin’ to” were how Landon got started on social media

●      How Landon’s wife, with a special education background, helps him in the writing process

●      How Landon is learning and growing on his writing journey by capitalizing on focused moments of inspiration

●      Accommodations that help him the most: lists, alarms, Google calendar, batching

Resources and Links:

Connect with Landon: TikTok and Instagram

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m back with one of my favorite guests who is always up for the challenge of a podcast–no matter what the topic is! I want to explore the term rejection sensitivity dysphoria and get Dr. Lesley Cook’s take on it because I have so many questions. Let’s learn more together!

 Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist who works with those with ADHD and other kinds of neurodivergence. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia and works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families.

Show Highlights:

●      What RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria) is and how it is manifested

●      KC’s personal experience with RSD and feelings of worthlessness

●      How RSD is different from sensory sensitivity and autism

●      Thoughts about the strong word dysphoria in RSD

●      KC’s personal experience with RSD and being told she is “too sensitive”

●      How we can grow, change, and find regulatory strategies for RSD

●      Why it is difficult to communicate the facets and nuances of RSD and other interpersonal difficulties

Resources and Links:

Connect with Dr. Lesley Cook: TikTok

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Earlier this week, our episode 59, A Grief Observed, featured three people answering the same questions about their personal experience with grief. There was actually a fourth person, Meg Boberg, with very different circumstances, and her story is today’s episode. She shares her experience with “anticipatory grief,” where she grieves a loved one who has not yet passed.

Unfortunately, Meg’s mother has now passed on since we recorded this interview. We extend heartfelt condolences to Meg and her family in this loss, and we sincerely thank her for transparently sharing her and her mother’s poignant story with us. Join us for Meg’s grief story.

Show Highlights:

●      What is anticipatory grief?

●      Highlights of Meg’s experience with her mother’s terminal cancer diagnosis since 2019, including writing an article about their shared experience

●      How Meg responds to the questions, “What can I do? How can I help?”

●      What people said or did that was helpful in the face of her mom’s terminal diagnosis

●      What people have said or done that was not helpful

●      How close friends have shown up for Meg during her anticipatory grief

●      Why saying something is better than saying nothing at all

●      Why the only thing that is NEVER helpful is to disappear, disengage, and not make any effort with a grieving person

Resources and Links:

Read the article written by Meg and her mother, Linda: Navigating Preparatory & Anticipatory Grief

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is an unusual one as I’m joined by three different guests. We are getting a different perspective on grief as we wade into the messy complexity of interacting with someone deep into grief and being the person in grief who is trying to field all those interactions. These three people have experienced grief in losing someone very close to them. I ask them the same questions about what people said and did that were helpful gestures AND those that were not helpful, along with what they wish people would have done and said. Their varying answers are insightful and revealing, helping us to understand that there is no one right answer to navigating grief. Being human is complex and messy, and there is no better example of that than when grief and loss slam into our lives. Join us to hear the different perspectives on grief from my friends, Shayna, Rachel, and Portia.

*Sensitivity warning: We are talking about death in this episode, so be aware that our specific topics are infant death, spousal death, and the death of a close friend.

Show Highlights:

●      My first guest, Portia Burch:

○      How she lost her close friend, Tish, unexpectedly, around the same time as another meaningful loss in her life

○      The value of those who “bear witness” to our loss

○      How Portia responds to those who ask, “What do you need? What can I do for you?”

○      Why Portia wanted people to let her be, act normal around her, and not expect too much from her

○      Why it’s good to ask someone how they would like for us to proceed as they deal with a loss

○      How we can rephrase our questions into statements and listen to context clues to better follow up with someone during grief

○      Things people say that are not helpful during grief: comments like “this will get easier,” and “she’s in a better place”

○      What it really means to comfort someone

○      What we should talk more about the joy of a person’s life instead the fact that someone is gone

○      Why Portia says, “Grief is what we feel when our love has no place to go.” 

●      My next guest, Rachel:

○      How she lost her husband, Jim, in 2017, just before Father’s Day

○      How Rachel responds to those who ask, “What do you need? What can I do for you?”

○      How Rachel thought of grief and the people in proximity to it as ripples on a pond

○      Ways in which people were actually helpful with tangible support and care

○      Why Rachel vigilantly safeguarded how her husband’s death was explained to her kids

○      Rachel’s take on what to say and do to help someone experiencing acute grief

●      My next guest, Shayna Raphael:

○      How she lost her daughter, Claire, eight years ago as an infant

○      How Shayna responds to those who ask, “What do you need? What can I do for you?”

○      What people did for Shayna and her family that were helpful actions

○      Things people did or said that were NOT helpful: comments about religion, closure, “a better place,” etc.

○      Why it isn’t helpful when people try to force comfort on a grieving person

○      Why those who show up and “enter into the messiness” are comforting

○      How Shayna found help and support through a Facebook group

○      Why Shayna and her husband founded the Claire Bear Foundation to provide safe sleep spaces to families across the US

Resources and Links:

Connect with our guests: The Claire Bear Foundation

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We continue with a Part 2 segment on the topic of hoarding. Many underlying issues play into disorders around hoarding, and they may vary widely from person to person. The good news is that there are multi-faceted resources and professionals available to help and jumpstart the process of change!

I’m joined by Dr. Leslie Hatch Gail, a professional organizer, presenter, and hoarding consultant. From her background as an educator, Dr. Leslie obtained her Ph.D. in Community Psychology and formed a new approach to those with organizational challenges, coming from a place of curiosity and a genuine desire to help. Join us to learn more!

Show Highlights: 

●      How Dr. Leslie became a professional organizer

●      How the hoarding TV shows usually try to present the person’s background and trauma that have led to hoarding tendencies

●      How hoarding was originally classified as a subtype of OCD and not its own disorder

●      Why many hoarders think they need the protection of “stuff” because they have been violated in some way

●      Why simply cleaning out a hoarder’s stuff does NOT fix the problem or help in the long run

●      The best ways to help raise awareness about hoarding disorders

●      The stages of readiness in making changes: awareness (thinking about change), planning action, and taking action

●      How Dr. Leslie uses an icebreaker worksheet to start the conversation about possible hoarding problems

●      Where to begin if you need help with hoarding issues and want to change

Resources and Links:

Connect with Dr. Leslie Hatch Gail: Website, Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook

Mentioned by Dr. Leslie: Helpful resources through the Chicagoland Hoarding Task Force

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hoarding: the word is recognizable, but the truth is that most people don’t understand what hoarding is and how it happens. We are pulling back the curtain on the deeper emotions behind hoarding in today’s episode. I’m joined by “That Hoarder,” the host of the podcast, Overcome Compulsive Hoarding. You will notice that we are not using her name as she wishes to remain anonymous. Anonymity allows her to talk openly and honestly about hoarding and its stigma and shame. Join us to learn more!

Show Highlights: 

●      What hoarding looks like–and why it’s much more than simply having “too much stuff”

●      The transition from being a “messy” person to someone who couldn’t let anything go

●      How That Hoarder realized she had an organization problem

●      Why finding bargains is a problem for That Hoarder

●      Why she started her podcast, Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

●      How she began therapy for PTSD and slowly revealed the hoarding disorder

●      What therapy techniques have helped That Hoarder: doing “experiments,” dealing with overwhelm, and asking why

●      Why curiosity is a valuable tool for That Hoarder

●      Common misconceptions about hoarding disorder

●      That Hoarder’s advice for someone with a friend or family member with hoarding challenges

●      What to consider when children are being raised in a hoarding environment

●      How to gain confidence and exercise your de-hoarding muscle

●      Helpful mantras and motivations that work best for That Hoarder

●      Early warning signs that someone is passing from being messy into hoarding

●      Why hoarding is more than just “keeping too much stuff” and boils down to the struggles of mental anguish, obsessing, and compulsion

Resources and Links:

Connect with That Hoarder: Website and Podcast

Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook

Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices