Struggle Care

By KC DavisEducation Self-Improvement

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Typical duration
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Struggle Care episodes

August 21, 202346: Best of Is Too Much Self-Compassion a Bad Thing? with Dr. Lesley Cook
In our first episode, you heard my conversation with Dr. Lesley Cook about executive functioning. Because she has so much great information and wisdom to share, I decided to bring her back to discuss self-compassion. Is it a bad thing to have TOO MUCH self-compassion? Join us for the conversation with Dr. Lesley!
Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist who does a lot of work with ADHD and other neurodivergencies. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia and works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families.

Show Highlights:
How to find the balance between the message of self-compassion and the need for better life management and progress
A basic understanding of self-compassion from Dr. Kristin Neff’s writings
A closer look at shame and how we experience it in relation to self-compassion
How to gently shift shame into self-compassion
How self-compassion can become a learned behavior that we pass down to our children

Resources:
Connect with Dr. Lesley: TikTok and Instagram
Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram
Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning

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29 min
August 14, 202345: Best of You can't save the rainforest if you're depressed with Imani Barbarin
I’m excited to introduce you to today’s guest. Imani Barbarin is a disability rights and inclusion activist and speaker who uses her platform for conversations around the disability community. I’ve followed her for a while on TikTok and appreciate the way she expresses her opinions and helps educate the rest of us. Come join us now!

Show Highlights:
How Imani explored and discovered her passion for advocacy for disability and inclusion rights
How climate change and disability are linked
Why environmental ableism is a real thing
How people have become victims of their non-nuanced thinking, only wanting to be on the “right” side
Why the COVID pandemic has become a “mass-disabling” event, especially regarding mental health
Examples of ways in which the environmental movement has left those with disabilities behind
Why society has a general disdain for disabled people and believes that they don’t (or won’t) contribute to society
How the luxury of abled people trumps the necessity of the disabled
What the function of capitalism is on disabled bodies
How disabled people are used as pawns in the pro-choice/pro-life debate
Why there is inherent racism in the pro-life movement
What laziness is and is not

Resources:
Connect with Imani: Website and Instagram
Resources mentioned: https://www.sinsinvalid.org, https://disasterstrategies.org, https://www.americanprogress.org
Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram
Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning

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51 min
August 10, 202344: Best of Executive Functioning with Lesley PsyD
Today, we are diving into executive functioning, which is a popular term being bounced around in mental health communities. I want to take a closer look at what it means and how it shows up in people’s lives. Join me to learn more from today’s guest!

Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist who does a lot of work with ADHD and other neurodivergencies. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia and works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families. Dr. Lesley and I met on TikTok, and I’m happy to have her here today!

Show Highlights:
A common-language definition and explanation of executive functioning
How executive function deficits show up in someone’s life
How shame, guilt, and inconsistent performance are clues to executive function problems
The difference between motivation and task initiation
Why the underlying issue with lack of motivation is more about what a person values
How a person’s sense of self is affected when they believe their authentic self is “bad”
Why external supports are necessary when an internal system is down
Why rhythm is better than routine for those with executive function disorder
How neurotypical people experience interruptions with executive functioning on a regular basis because of overload and anxiety
How blips in executive function occur in neurotypical people with predictability and response to intervention—as opposed to someone with a diagnosis
How someone with ADHD can have incredible deficits in executive function on days when everything is going their way–and won’t respond reliably to normal interventions
How to build into each day differing levels of acceptable outcomes–and give yourself permission to choose what fits your needs at that moment
Lesley’s advice to those who think they have executive functioning issues

Resources:

Connect with Dr. Lesley: TikTok and Instagram
Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram
Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning
Find great resources about executive functioning:
www.understood.org, www.psychologytoday.com, and https://chadd.org/

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52 min
July 24, 2023 43: Codependency Doesn’t Exist with Shahem McLaurin
"Dear Listeners,
"We want to inform you that this episode marks the end of our current season. We would like to take a break during the month of August to recharge and prepare exciting new content for you. We will be back with fresh episodes in September, filled with engaging discussions and insightful interviews. We appreciate your support and look forward to reconnecting with you soon"
-KC Davis
Codependency is one of those buzzwords often used in therapy and mental health around relationships. Today’s guest has provoked a lot of feedback by challenging people’s views on this subject. Join us for this intriguing conversation.
I’m joined by one of my favorite people on TikTok, Shahem Mclaurin, a social worker in Brooklyn, NY, with over 500,000 followers on social media. Shahem is self-described as a person who is “queer as hell, Black as hell, and loud as hell.” They use their platform to address a wide range of social and mental health issues impacting people of color, patriarchy-impacted people, and members of the LGBTQ+ community.

Show Highlights:
●      How Shahem’s view of codependency has challenged the worldview of many people
●      Why Shahem got a lot of blowback from his thoughts on codependency when he began to challenge popular worldviews
●      Why we need to differentiate between attention-seeking and connection-seeking behaviors
●      Why people get defensive when their “codependency identification” is challenged
●      How the term codependency originated as part of popular therapeutic language
●      How our culture sees having empathy for someone and expecting accountability from them as opposites that can’t both be true at the same time
●      Thoughts on codependency, outside validation, connectivity, and feeling emotionally safe
●      How to take a look at your unique journey “in the pool”

Resources and Links:
Connect with Shahem: TikTok and Instagram
Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
46 min
July 17, 202342: Self-Esteem Sucks. You Need Self-Compassion with Dr Kristin Neff
I’m excited about today’s guest because she has had a huge influence on me. I can confidently say that finding her research on self-compassion was a turning point in my healing journey. Do you need more self-compassion? Join us to learn more!
Dr. Kristin Neff is a renowned psychologist, self-care researcher, and author. Her work has had a profound impact on the field of psychology and has helped countless people cultivate self-acceptance and resilience.
Show Highlights:
How self-compassion became Dr. Kristin’s main area of research
Understanding self-esteem vs. self-compassion
The three components of self-compassion: mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness
How self-esteem creates comparison and social disconnection by being conditional and unstable
How self-compassion gives the gift of authenticity
The difference between fierce self-compassion and tender self-compassion
How self-compassion helps us get past our shame
Why self-compassion doesn’t mean indulgence
Pathways and blocks to self-compassion
The connection between self-compassion and psychological functioning
How self-compassion helps when we fail and make mistakes
Why the goal of practicing self-compassion is to be simply a compassionate mess who is completely human
Why the practice of self-compassion has to start small with baby steps of warmth and support (What would you say to a friend?)
A look at Dr. Kristin’s latest book, Fierce Self-Compassion
How anger fits into self-compassion

Resources and Links:
Connect with Dr. Kristin and find many helpful resources: Website
Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
39 min
July 10, 202341: Breaking Free from Self-Improvement with Frankie Simmons
I’m so excited to have my first in-person guest on the podcast! Frankie Simmons is here, and she’s literally sitting right next to me. I love Frankie’s TikTok content, and I resonate with so much of what she says. I feel like she is a younger version of me, as we have similar backgrounds and healing journeys. I hope you will join us for this conversation!
Show Highlights:
Get to know Frankie and our thoughts on being fellow Texans
How Frankie exited her background in Christianity and fear and began to explore the world
Why Frankie does TikToks about her functional responses to trauma and finding self-trust
The journey from fear and insecurity into feeling worthy and accepted
How Frankie experienced a mind-blowing shift in her approach to life
Why Frankie has chosen to be sober–and how that has changed her life and relationships
Frankie’s journey to understand herself as a confident introvert
How we can experience a different version of life when we accept ALL of ourselves
What things are like in Frankie’s relationship with love and acceptance
How it harms us to be taught that we should feel guilty if life is “easy” and not a constant struggle
How Frankie and KC describe their current relationship with Christianity, faith, and spirituality

Resources and Links:
Connect with Frankie Simmons: TikTok and Instagram
Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
49 min
July 03, 202340: Anti-Capitalist Financial Planning with River Nice
Our topic today is intriguing, so I can’t wait to learn more from my guest. I’m joined by River Nice (they/them), who was originally in a tech job they hated. After using their skill set to help their partner with debt from her gender transition, River found their calling: to help queer people with their money. Now, they run their own financial planning firm, Be Intentional Financial LLC (BIF), to serve their clients and community and help to dismantle oppression in all its forms. Join us to learn more!

Show Highlights:
Misconceptions people have about the term “anti-capitalist financial planner”
A look at the harmful and inaccurate mainstream financial advice in our world
Why we live in fear and worry about our financial survival in a capitalist society
A look at white privilege and how we can make the world a better place under oppressive systems
What “redistribution of wealth” looks like, practically speaking
How River helps clients with investing for long-term financial security
A charity giving model vs. creating an interdependent community
How River teaches financial emergency preparedness to clients
How anti-capitalist financial planning is a holistic view of life, money, values, and relationships
River’s advice about specific financial scenarios around debt management, living paycheck to paycheck, planning for the future, and accumulating wealth

Resources and Links:
Connect with River Nice: Website, Instagram, and TikTok
Check out River’s Website for FREE resources and a FREE 30-minute consultation!
Also mentioned: the Mint app and the Honeydue app for couples
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
43 min
June 26, 202339: Life Coaching: the Good, the Bad, & the Ugly
Coaching is an interesting field with many nuances, and we hear a LOT of buzz about coaching right now. There are coaches for literally EVERY aspect of life. While there are things to appreciate about the field of coaching, there are definitely things to look out for, as well. I’m joined by my good friend, Heidi Smith, who is a Licensed Professional Counselor.
In Part 2 of this conversation, I’m joined by Rachel Ambrose for a coach’s perspective. Rachel is a coach for neurodivergents who has been diagnosed with ADHD and autism. As someone who holds multiple coaching certifications, she is here to give us a better look at the coaching field. She talks about the bounds of coaching and her personal experience around green and red flags in the industry. Rachel shares tips to help people know how to find a helpful coach and be more knowledgeable about the coaching field.

Show Highlights:
How Heidi partners with clients and coaches in her counseling work
Why there are legitimate questions about the training and oversight in the coaching field
Why coaching is, by definition, a less intimidating relationship than with a therapist but is like “paying for a friend”
How coaching and therapy embody very different relationships, lanes, and ethics
What to consider in questions about licensure and certifications
The ethical rabbit hole around the client’s relationship with therapists and coaches
Why the coaching field is like the Wild West right now
Pitfalls in the coaching industry around sexual integrity, case management, interventions, and narcissism
KC’s experience in researching ADHD coaching
The vagueness around a “spirituality coach”
The bottom line about coaching: “Do your research and be aware of potential drawbacks.”
Part 2 from Rachel Amrose:
Green and red flags around coaching around the following:
Power dynamics in the relationship
“I have the cure/the magical answer for your problem!”
Concrete, actionable items
How to know if a coach’s training is worthwhile or not
How to gauge a coach’s willingness to refer out–and stay in their lane

Resources and Links:
Connect with Rachel Ambrose: Website
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
1 hr
June 19, 202338: Interview with the White Woman Whisperer
Racism. You may think you know what it is and in what ways it exists in our society, but it is a deep and multi-faceted topic. We could spend hours trolling the depths of language, attitudes, behaviors, and nuances that are influenced by race. We are attempting to explore and learn more in today’s show. I’m joined by Rebecca Slue, also known as the White Woman Whisperer. You may know her from TikTok, which is where I found her. We connected when I took an anti-racism course and reached out to her for help, and I’ve already learned a lot from her. Join us for more from Rebecca’s perspective.
Show Highlights:
An example of how KC got into a quandary over comments on social media and the fear of being labeled as a racist
How amazing conversations are happening when we aren’t concerned about perfectionism in our words
What we need to understand about white supremacy
How Rebecca uses a caste system model of values to understand the behaviors that perpetuate white supremacy
Why our understanding of anti-racism is a journey and not a destination
Rebecca’s experience of racial identity as she grew up the child of Jewish and Jamaican parents
How Rebecca’s experience played out when she entered corporate America
How she became the White Woman Whisperer
How racism created a holistic layer of chronic stress for Rebecca
How Rebecca uses a metaphor to explain white fragility, white privilege, and the pinata of white supremacy

Resources and Links:
Connect with Rebecca: Website and Podcast, Instagram, TikTok
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
53 min
June 12, 202337: Technology Aids for ADHD with Kat Hunt
Technology can be challenging for those with ADHD, and I’ll admit that I’ve struggled at times in this area. If you are someone who responds better to tactile and visual learning, you can probably relate. There are many tools and hacks available to help with executive functioning issues, and I’m excited to learn more in today’s show. I’m joined by technology expert Kat Hunt, who is raising a neurodivergent daughter. Let’s learn more about technological aids that can be helpful for ADHD. Join us!
Show Highlights:
Three specific areas in which neurodivergent struggle and technologies that can help:
Time blindness
Solutions: Apps like Calendly, Artful Agenda, and Taskly
Data loss/overwhelm
Solution: Migrating events/tasks into Google Calendar
Dopamine-seeking or dopamine-resisting behaviors
Solution: Forest app
Why mobile access to these tools is preferable over a physical tool, especially for those who travel or move from home to office frequently
How Kat uses Alexa technology to her advantage in time management with her family and at her office
How the Due app forces you to pay attention to notifications for events and tasks
How parents can use Alexa features with neurodivergent kids to increase independence and self-efficacy while still having parental structure in place

Resources and Links:
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
29 min

About Struggle Care

From the publisher's feed

A podcast about self-care by a host that hates the term self-care. Therapist KC Davis, author of the book How to Keep House While Drowning talks about mental health, care tasks, and more.