Superpowered Mind with Clare Dimond

A conversation with the excellent Piers Thurston ahead of the November on-line course WANT. 

https://piersthurston.com

The membership to have access to on-line courses is now closed. You can click here to join the wait-list for when it next opens.  

https://claredimond.simplero.com

The moment has come when I’ve been asked to do something that fills me with abject fear and would require throwing out all my safety behaviours. I know the answer is in me not out there but i don’t know which voice it is! I have been asked to speak at a large gala dinner early next year. It will be late on in the evening (already I am uncomfortable at that part alone!) in front of 300 people and all my colleagues. About 12 years ago I had a panic attack on stage during a work presentation- my first ever panic attack. So here I am having learnt so much but still none the wiser it seems. Do I want to face this fear (or see the fear for what it is) or do I want to learn the art of saying no to something that will bring about weeks of discomfort and sleeplessness to please others? Which lesson needs to be learnt and how do I find my wisdom? 

 I'm struggling with my phobic reaction around health checks, specifically blood pressure.  

I have my pre op screening on the 31st Oct and was just looking at the appointment letter to see what was involved.  I had a reaction which I can only describe as a full blown anxiety attack.  The adrenal rush was huge, my heart rate went into overdrive and god only knows where my blood pressure is. Tunnel vision, dizzy, the works.  Two hours later I am still suffering from the after-effects....feeling really toxic.

When I sit with this I'm only seeing the after effects of something that happens in a split second.  I feel like it's too late by the time I have the opportunity to sit with it.  I know it's only thought and feelings, and neither of them are really me, but it's truly awful.   It's the biggest double bind.  The anxiety which causes my blood pressure to spike is caused by my thoughts of having to have my blood pressure tested.  It's about getting awful news I think.  In this case it is self fulfilling in a major way.

Do you have any thoughts on what I can do?  I somehow need to break the link between the trigger and the response.

I'm getting a bit desperate.  I think they will cancel the op if the blood pressure is too high.

My question is this. What if what the person you are with is saying “I don’t want to carry on living and I want to end my life” in terms of accepting what the other chooses to do with their actions. What I think I’m seeing in the book is that I can’t yet tell what is being actually said as there’s still massive reaction to these words so more work to be done first. Currently then I’m in reaction to me and my needs trying to be met via her and so no space for her and in fact a pushing away of the love and connection I want us to have together (so I can feel like a ‘good mum’). So my need for her to make me feel like a ‘good mum’ by not trying to kill herself or even talk about it is what’s creating the whole shit show. Have I got that right?

I notice that i have many judgements about the way I look. On a theoretical level I understand that this is a layer of thought, and not reality. But it seems so real. Because it looks so real, I have all kinds of behaviour in place in order to manage the ‘fact’ that I am ugly. A couple of examples are: Avoiding to give interviews on camera, searching for ways to improve my posture, frequently going to the hairdresser etc. 

Can you explain how I can use this way of seeing myself in order to deepen my understanding about reality? 

My darling clare dimond, 

I honestly don’t know how to express the impact your latest most personal book has had on me.
As you always so lovingly say to me and others in our community, you’re speaking for all of us, Clare! 
Nothing could be more true in my case. 
As you know and we have talked about, i was in a 2 year relationship with a man whom i was convinced would be my life partner, and in June when he told me for the 2nd time he could not give me the “commitment” that i wanted l, i broke it off with him. He tried several times to reconnect with me afterwards, but i pushed him away. 
The deeply profound suffering i have been in since that time led me (again, with your suggestion on one of our courses) straight into
“The Work” which has cracked me wide open even more seeing the projection that he is and its not about HIM!!l It never was.. OMG What a GIFT! 
I am sitting in what needs to be felt no matter how difficult or painful and now seeing it as a way back Home to self love which requires nothing of anyone else… wow
I had a tiny understanding this morning of what has been hard for me to grasp: “no separation, no other” whereby i could see how this man has been a complete projection of my wounds and I havent seen  “the person” thats the separation, and when i can see him without the need to fulfill or complete me, i am present to the actual person .. would appreciate if you could expound on this.. 
another thing i would love to hear from you on is going deep into the feelings as pain arises, feeling in the body without attaching the story.. i find this sometimes difficult as my ego mind gets involved running the movie of whats not happening now.. so i can somehow fix, resolve situation, go back and say things differently for different outcome. How to turn off the bloody projector!!  Insanity.. 

There is so much in your book that literally floored me but this quote was one:


True love is not devastated by another person living life in the way that makes sense for them


OMG, yes! I look forward to This man finding the love of his life as I am finding mine: and she’s right here with me ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏


So much love a gratitude to you dearest Clare 

Should I ask my father if I was the reason he left (Follow up to Oct 13th podcast)

We think that we resist certain states because they are there, but actually they are there because we resist them.

Adyashanti

I am in the midst of a six week course called radical love shift based on the work of Byron Katie.  doing the worksheets with different partners from the course has been very powerful and I’m glad I joined especially now given my recent breakup. 

However, there is confusion when it comes to non dual conversation and some of these practices around  “falling in love” with myself.  Maybe I’m just overthinking it but wondering what your thoughts are on the assignment to make a list of what i need/want in a relationship and then turn each one around to the “self” what self?

An example: 

I need my partner to love me unconditionally. Turned around; I need me to love myself unconditionally. 

You may of already addressed this topic in another podcast but If Not, love to have your answer on a podcast…