Girl Stop Playin | Personal Development for Black Girls

Surviving Mama Trauma w/ Dr. Pam | Episode 195


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On this episode of Girl Stop Playin’. I had the absolute pleasure of sitting down with Dr. Pam, who’s done some serious work on a topic that many of us can relate to, whether we want to admit it or not—the “mother wound.” Now listen, I’ve shared bits of my own journey with my momma, and let me tell you, this conversation hit different. Dr. Pam breaks down how the dynamics between mothers and daughters can shape us in ways we may not even realize until we grow up and start navigating life on our own.


Dr. Pam’s seen it all—from women in prison who experienced deep, severe trauma introduced by their mothers, to high-powered professionals who dealt with more subtle forms of emotional neglect. It’s wild how this mother-daughter thing shows up in so many different ways, but the impact? It's real, and it can stick with us for a long time. She even wrote a whole book about it called Surviving Mama—and trust me, this conversation is a must-listen.


We got into how, as daughters, we don’t always start seeing our moms as the flawed, complicated women they are until we grow up, get married, or become moms ourselves. That’s when the real work begins. And y’all already know I don’t hold back, so I shared how my own mom used to say, “I love you, but I don’t like you”—which was a LOT to handle growing up. But now, as an adult, I’ve gained perspective and realized just how deep those scars can go.


Dr. Pam dropped so much wisdom about the healing process, and how it’s not about blaming our moms, but about understanding the cycles of emotional immaturity and dysfunction we’ve normalized. She also shed light on how unresolved issues with our moms can bleed into sibling relationships—something I know all too well.


The biggest takeaway? Healing is possible, but it starts with awareness and giving ourselves grace. We’ve gotta face these wounds, process them, and move forward with intention. This conversation was a reminder that we are not alone in these struggles, and we have the power to heal. So sis, if you’re dealing with your own mother wounds, know that you don’t have to carry that weight forever.



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Girl Stop Playin | Personal Development for Black GirlsBy KOEREYELLE, Personal Development Coach

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