Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

This week, we're exploring the transformative power of the "yes, and..." principle, a cornerstone of improv performance. This simple yet effective phrase encourages performers to not only accept but also expand upon their partners' spontaneous ideas. How can this mindset apply to daily life for those of us with ADHD? Today, we’re navigating how to use comedy to handle unexpected situations with ease and resilience.

We dive into the concept of "yes, and..." as a tool for embracing and moving forward through challenging, unexpected, or complex moments. By replacing the instinctive "no, but..." response with a more adaptive and flexible attitude, it becomes easier to face adversity head-on and maintain momentum.

We discuss the rejection faced by performers, writers, and directors alike, their coping strategies, and how they manage not to take rejection personally. By drawing parallels with rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), we uncover techniques to foster acceptance and perseverance.

Mandy Kaplan is an actress, vo artist, singer, writer, ninja and podcast host living in LA. Her voice can be heard in hundreds of commercials/video games/and SO many audiobooks. Onscreen, she can be seen starring in the feature film 30 Nights of Sex to Save Your Marriage available on Tubi TV for free right now, a film she also co-wrote and produced. Her cabaret Miscast: Right Singer, Wrong Song has been running in LA for over 12 years.

Mandy Fabian was the director and creator of Lifetime’s first digital series, The Young Hillary Diaries, and co-created and wrote the Amazon series Dropping the Soap, which won Jane Lynch an Emmy!  She’s a Sony Television Directing Program Fellow, was named “Best New Filmmaker of the Year” by NewFilmmakers LA, and her latest screenplay, Late Bloomer, was selected for the Meryl Streep/Oprah Winfrey Writers Lab. Most recently, she completed her feature directorial debut Jess Plus None, an awkward comedy that will be released in the fall of 2023.

Together, they co-host the Mandcave, a podcast about two best friends who have nothing in common except their names on TruStory FM. Our ultimate goal for this episode is to inspire listeners to find humor amidst life's challenges. By nurturing a comedic perspective and using it as a roadmap back to happiness, we hope to encourage a more profound reflection on the power of laughter in overcoming adversity.

Links & Notes

• Check out the Mandys in their podcast: Mandcave
• In LA? Get tix for Mandy Kaplan’s Cabaret, “Miscast LA: Right Singer, Wrong Song”
• Check out the trailer for Mandy Fabian’s film, “Jess Plus None”
• Watch Mandy Kaplan’s film, “30 Nights” free on Tubi right now

• (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast

We've had a terrific run looking deeply at self-compassion and ADHD over the last month. This week, we're taking a look back and reflecting on lessons learned, changes made, and opportunities ahead.

Along the way, we welcome Bryan Brunelle to the team as the first of our Mod Squad members. If you're a member of our ADHD Discord Community make sure to reach out to Bryan ... or, just wait... sooner or later he'll reach out to you!

The ADHD Book Club is opening up enrollment for the next term when the group covers our friend James Ochoa's book, Focus Forward. Learn more about the book club and get your name on the list right here!

This week's episode is sponsored by our friends at TextExpander. Make work work the way your brain works. Learn more and save 20% on your first year subscription at takecontroladhd.com/textexpander today!

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

You have a plan. You have a vision of yourself and your performance. But what happens when plans change, or the world doesn't share your perspective on your own experience? When RSD sets in, your ability to manifest compassion for yourself is most important.

We kick off with a review of RSD, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. Need to dive in a little deeper? Look no further and Dr. William Dodson's article on the topic in ADDitude Magazine. Even better, check out our episode with him on the subject from a few years back.

Once you understand RSD and how RSD can contribute to emotional storms (check out James Ochoa on Emotional Storms here), you get a better picture of the importance of taking your compassion into your own hands. When no one else is looking to care for you, what tools do you have in your bag to care properly for yourself?

This week: tools you can use to cope, regroup, and recover.

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

Casey Dixon is a respected Life Coach with a unique focus on science-based, innovative, collaborative coaching and advising for high achievers with ADHD or executive function challenges.

So, why is Casey back with us during our series discussing self-compassion and ADHD? Because it turns out that the way we talk to ourselves is universal. Even those living with ADHD who appear to have achieved success live with the threat of negative self-talk, denial, fear, and more. Creating a self-compassion practice is central to freeing ourselves from those feelings and moving forward.

Learn more about Casey and her work at DixonLifeCoaching.com.

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

We've been talking about ADHD and self-compassion over the last several weeks. But how do these experiences tie into other difficult emotions like anger, fear, worry, anxiety, and grief? Nikki and Pete continue the series on the show this week.

For background, we're working through chapter 16 of The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer, as well as Neff's TEDxTalk, "The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self Compassion.".

The journey through difficult emotions starts and ends with acceptance. But finding that emotional release isn't easy, nor does it happen in a straight line. But by labeling our experience, by finding the areas in our body that are manifesting current struggle, we can find a path toward release.

• Breathing for Pattern Interrupt with James Ochoa
• Interrupting Negative Patterns with Dr. Dodge Rea
• Jerry Campbell and the Dynamic Tension Between Love and Fear

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

Special thanks to TextExpander for sponsoring this week's show.

We've talked about parenting with her. We've talked about therapy and ADHD. But my favorite episode with Dr. Sharon Saline was all about sinking thinking and self-compassion with ADHD. So, you can imagine that embarking on this series on that very subject would bring her back to the show.

Sharon is the author of the award-winning book, What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew: Working Together to Empower Kids for Success in School and Life and The ADHD solution card deck.  She specializes in working with neurodiverse children, teens, young adults, and families and aims to help outside-the-box thinkers improve executive functioning and social-emotional skills while also building practical communication tools and self-esteem.

Sharon says that she, herself, is a perfectionist in recovery, and she offers key insights into perfectionism and its impact on ADHD. How does perfectionism drive self-compassion down? How can you use "just one thing" to turn what seems to be impossible into a daily practice? How do you avoid compare-and-despair? All that and more this week with our great friend Sharon Saline!

• (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast

We're continuing our conversation on self-compassion and ADHD with a walk through the garden of shame. You know that garden, the one with the plants we nourish and carry with us, the blooms we sniff regularly, all laced with the poison of regret and self-doubt. This week, we're tearing up that soil.

The conversation starts with a recap of concepts from The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer, as well as Neff's TEDxTalk, "The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self Compassion.". Quick reminder of the three core elements presented by Neff and Germer:

1. Self-Kindness
2. Common Humanity
3. Mindfulness

The biggest challenge to overcome, which we seem to struggle with universally, is the idea that just letting go of negative feelings is hard. You can't just read that in a book or hear it in a podcast and suddenly do it. But more important than that: it's ok for it to be hard to find yourself underneath all the shame. You're in there. And as long as you keep talking about it, one day you'll get there.

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

Why do you treat yourself worse than you would treat a dear friend?

That's the central question of today's conversation and it centers on our ability to muster self-compassion, a practice of treating ourselves well when we need it, rather than thinking of ourselves only in terms of our struggles.

The conversation starts with a walkthrough of concepts from The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer, as well as Neff's TEDxTalk, "The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self Compassion.". Central to the conversation are the three core elements presented by Neff and Germer:

1. Self-Kindness
2. Common Humanity
3. Mindfulness

We walk through each with examples today, and take a tour of the interconnected elements of anxiety and depression that sidle up next to ADHD on this journey toward self-compassion, and review how that impacts the ADHD brain. From there: Tools to build the muscle of self-compassion before you hit an ADHD storm!

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

The last time Aron Croft was here, he shared his story of his education and personal background meeting ADHD reality. But you know what else? He built a successful Fortune 500 career and a highly successful training business teaching his 8% Productivity Habit, which helps ADHDers complete what we like to call clogging tasks, those tasks you've put off for months, and need more than simple willpower to get them done.

He's back with us this week to share how the ADHD reality meets the business world and how you might find success by pivoting a business school classic model for your own needs.

We're talking about the 4PM model: Product, Promotion, Pricing, and Process come together to illuminate the M, Market Fit. But Aaron argues that ADHD business owners need a second M: the ME Fit. Listen in as we explore how to prioritize the Me Fit into your operations, how to figure out what your Me and Market Fit really is, and how to use this model to decide if your best business inspirtation is really a good fit for your hard work.

Learn more about Aron at FreeADHDTraining.com and check out his TikTok summary of 4PM2 here!

• (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast

Morgan Hancock calls herself a troublemaker. This week, you're going hear about her being a troublemaker in high school. And again in summer school. And again in the Army.

And then you're going to hear how she was diagnosed with ADHD and channeled that restless energy into commercial real estate, motherhood, and her passionate advocacy of the arts, including her art-focused bourbon charity, Bourbon with Heart, Inc.

Morgan joins us this week to talk about her experience doing all those things living and working with ADHD.

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast