The original episode that went live on 27/09/16 has been replaced. In this episode of Why Did We Break Up? Natalie shares some universal lessons that apply to all breakups.

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In this episode, Natalie shares tips for ensuring that you don't undervalue you when it comes to salary or charging the right rate/price with clients, knowing when to fold, and means 'mean' goals versus end goals.

This week's listener dilemma is about how to deal with shady friendships and Natalie shares what she's learned this week.

Links from the show

• The Vicious Cycle of Undervaluing Yourself http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/the-vicious-cycle-of-undervaluing-yourself/
• Knowing When To Fold http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/knowing-when-to-fold
• The Justifying Zone http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/the-justifying-zone
• Betting On Potential—Are you gambling on a relationship capacity that doesn't exist? http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/betting-on-potential-are-you-gambling-on-a-relationship-capacity-that-doesnt-exist/
• The Blinkest app (note, I am not affiliated with Blinkist in any way)
• A couple of posts about boundaries and friendship http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/we-have-to-let-our-friendships-evolve/ and http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/when-you-experience-conflict-in-your-friendships-because-of-new-boundaries/

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In the latest episode of Why Did We Break Up?, Sandy and Rick got off to a flying start after being introduced via a mutual friend. They saw each other a few times a week, seemed to thoroughly enjoy each other's company, and were making plans for future dates. Then Rick received some bad news one night and asked to hang out with Sandy. While there, he got way friskier than she was comfortable with, so she slowed things down only for him to leave rather abruptly. They spoke again a couple of days later and then poof, he was gone. Sensitive to the fact that he was going through a rough time, she called him a few more times but he never returned her calls.

You might want to check out my posts on ghosting and u-turns:

• What's the Craic With Ghosting? (And no, it's NOT the same as No Contact!) http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/whats-the-craic-with-ghosting-and-no-its-not-the-same-as-no-contact/
• We Need To Talk About: 'Ghosting' In The Early Stages of Dating http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ghosting-in-the-early-stages-of-dating/
• Recovering from somebody doing a U-turn on their feelings or proclaimed intentions http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recovering-from-somebody-doing-a-u-turn-on-their-feelings-or-proclaimed-intentions/
• I also talked about ghosting in episode 20 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/20

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In this episode, Natalie talks about how to start building your self-esteem, why you shouldn't get too hung up on your ex moving on before you or with someone you think is 'better', and why there's no need to tell someone you don't like them. This week's listener question is about whether we have a right to feel heartbroken over a relationship that never happened, plus Natalie shares what she learned this week. 100 Days of Baggage Reclaim book: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/100daysbook

Articles on Baggage Reclaim related to 'Why them and not me?'

• When you're afraid they'll become a better person in a better relationship, without you http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/what-keeps-you-up-a-night-pondering-whether-theyre-a-better-person-in-a-better-relationship-without-you/
• He's with someone else – Why her and not me? http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/hes-with-someone-else-why-her-and-not-me/
• 'Why him/her and not me?' Not everything is about us! http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-himher-and-not-me-not-everything-is-about-us
• Do you have a Replacement Mentality? http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/do-you-have-a-replacement-mentality
• The Replacement Mentality: But WHY did they go back to their toxic ex when they could have had me? http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/the-replacement-mentality-but-why-did-they-go-back-to-their-toxic-ex-when-they-could-have-had-me
• Don't Be The Bridge Between Someone's Old & New Relationship http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/dont-be-the-bridge-between-someones-old-new-relationship
• Return On Investment in Relationships http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/return-on-investment-in-relationships
• 'I Can Change Him' Syndrome/Fixer-Uppers http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/i-can-change-himher-syndrome-dont-tie-your-worth-to-trying-to-control-the-uncontrollable
• Betting On Potential – Are You Gambling On a Relationship Capacity That Doesn't Exist? http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/betting-on-potential-are-you-gambling-on-a-relationship-capacity-that-doesnt-exist
• Betting On Potential in Relationships http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/betting-on-potential-in-relationships

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In the latest episode of Why Did We Break Up?, Molly and Steven met in their late teens at the start of their careers and 14 years, 2 kids, marriage and a business that they had to declare bankruptcy on, Steven has announced that he needs some time out to be on his own and figure out who he is, only to rent himself an apartment and begin a series of flings followed by two girlfriends. Feeling rejected, replaced, and rather confused about what is going on, Natalie helps Molly see what is really going so that she can grab her freedom and build her life on her own terms.

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In this episode, Natalie talks about finding making new friends daunting and shares tips for being more open to it, plus she shares 10 questions for discerning whether your partner is emotionally available, and shares a couple of comments from listeners about what they learned from holidaying on their own, something she talked about in episode 42.

This week's listener question is about how to broach the subject of taking things slowly with sex, and Natalie shares what she's learned this week.

You can download the, Is Your Partner Emotionally Available? questions at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/46-download

The episode about recognising your own availability is www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/28

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In the latest episode of Why Did We Break Up?, Katie is still reeling after ending a 21-month affair with a married man who doesn't seem to grasp why him not leaving his wife is a deal-breaker. Natalie helps Katie make the link between this affair, the breakdown of her marriage and earlier experiences in life so that she can use the pain of the fallout of this relationship as a vehicle for huge growth and healing.

The blog post that Natalie refers to in the episode about being the favourite child (or wanting to be) influences our disposition to be involved in an affair http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/being-the-favourite-child-or-wanting-to-be-influences-our-disposition-to-involved-in-an-affair/

Also, the post on there's no such thing as an honest cheat http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/theres-no-such-thing-as-an-honest-cheat-and-other-thoughts-on-cheating/

And another on why affairs are like being double-crossed in a heist http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-affairs-are-like-being-double-crossed-in-a-heist/

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In this episode, Natalie talks about the unnecessary apologising and backtracking habit, how getting your stuff in order can help you to clear out mentally and emotionally, and the importance of feeling all your feelings. This week's listener question is about what to do about somebody who hogs the conversation leaving you to be a 'good listener', plus Natalie shares what she learned this week. The picture of stuff that I bagged up from the corner of my dining room and the comments https://www.instagram.com/p/BJH-LQVB909/?taken-by=natlue

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It's the year 2000 and Steve and Danielle meet via mutual friends at a club in London. She's fresh out of a relationship with someone she calls "cold" and "emotionally abusive" and he feels as if he's over his ex who left him abruptly during a vulnerable time a few years back. He feels protective of and curious about this woman who he deems "out of his league". Sixteen years, two daughters and a marriage later and they're now divorced. Steve is taking the blame for why Danielle ended the relationship and has proceeded to date other men right under his nose. It's time to answer his question: Why Did We Break Up?

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In this episode, Natalie talks about going on holiday/vacation on your own and shares stories and tips from her own adventure. Plus, she shares ten tips for conflict resolution when you're in a relationship, and explains why it's never the people who are actually bad at their job that have Imposter Syndrome. This week's listener question is about how to break the cycle of casual relationships when you're ready for something more serious, plus Natalie shares what she learned this week.

From the conflict resolution segment: What's the baggage behind it? www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/2

Get Out of Stuck Guide (for working on beliefs) http://store.baggagereclaim.co.uk/product/get-out-of-stuck-ebook-and-worksheet-pack/

Be notified about when The Breakthrough is open for enrollment http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/the-breakthrough

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