On today’s episode of “The Language of Love,” Dr. Laura Berman talks about the most common challenges that couples report. She reveals that the top complaint that partners have is uneven desire when one partner has a higher libido than the other, and how that can lead to trouble throughout their relationship. She says one issue is that even though many women struggle with some form of sexual dysfunction, whether that is lack of desire, difficulty reaching orgasm, or pain during intercourse, the medical community has only just begun to put attention into addressing female sexual pleasure. Hence, while men can turn to options like Viagra or Cialis, women are left with few, if any options, for improved sexual response, and most are too ashamed to even raise the issue with their doctor.

So, what should women with low desire do? First, Dr. Berman says women need to go to their doctor for a hormone panel as well as to investigate whether any medications they are on may cause sexual side effects (popular prescriptions like anti-depressants and hormonal contraceptives can have downsides in the bedroom). After investigating possible physical causes and troubleshooting possible solutions, Dr. Berman says she would also want to delve into a woman’s past and look at issues like body image, past sexual trauma, sexual shame related to religious or cultural upbringing. Our bodies can carry cellular trauma which can be passed on genetically and Dr. Berman explains that unless we get in touch with our physical selves and where we might be carrying tension or dis-ease, we won’t be able to fully release, whether we are in or out of the bedroom. Hear her reveal how she uses somatic therapy to tap into her physical body and how you can start ‘being in body’ right now.

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