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In this episode, Jo talks about being proactive versus being reactive. When you are proactive, you are MAKING things happen for yourself. When you are reactive, you are responding to things that happen to you.
A lot of people want to play more, and they have a lot of reasons why they DON'T or CAN'T play more. But there a great quote by Ryan Blair; it says "If it's important you'll find a way. If it's not, you'll find an excuse.
How important is it for you to play more in the Lifestyle? Is it important enough for you to find a way? Or will you find an excuse?
Today's show is sponsored by Jo's 8-week Embrace Your Badassery Program. The beta launch for this program is starting in April, so get on the waitlist now.

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New music (episodes 80+): The Heat by Vladimir Ershov
New New music (season 3): Level by Pryces for intro, and Take the Reins by Hey Pluto for outro

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In today's episode, Jo interviews Mistress Leah of the House of Wonderland. She is the Head Mistress of the Fuckcation Dungeon Staff, and author of the book Swinging Into BDSM: The Swinger's Guide to Respectfully and Successfully Navigating the Basics.
We talk about her book, what bdsm is really all about and how to safely get started into kink and bdsm. And we also talk about how knowing yourself and your own wants, needs, and boundaries builds your confidence and acceptance in yourself.

Connect with Mistress Leah:
Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/12824956
Instagram: https://instagram.com/house_of_wonderland
Facebook:
Leah Fettigal
Website: Houseofwonderland.org
TikTok: @houseofwonderlandinc
Cashapp: $HouseOfWonderland

Get the book!
Swinging into BDSM: The Swinger's Guide to Respectfully and Successfully Navigating the Basics - Kindle edition by Leah, Mistress. Literature & Fiction Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.

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Old music (<80): X Ray Vision by Slynk
New music (episodes 80+): The Heat by Vladimir Ershov
New New music (season 3): Level by Pryces for intro, and Take the Reins by Hey Pluto for outro

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This week, Jo talks about how to break the ice and approach people, especially at parties or events. If you want to make connections with other people, either for friendship or for play, you are going to have to put yourself out there. And yes, that's hard and scary for some people, but sometimes you just have to tell your crazy, overprotective mom brain to sit down and STFU!

She also offers some different ways to break the ice and approach people, and she gives some tips on how to present yourself. 

Go check out the Body Language 101 guide. It's free on her website, www.theconfidentswinger.com.

Today's show is sponsored by her upcoming group coaching program, Embrace Your Sexiness. It's a 6-week program via Zoom. It's starting in April, so get on the waitlist now.

Support the show

Old music (<80): X Ray Vision by Slynk
New music (episodes 80+): The Heat by Vladimir Ershov
New New music (season 3): Level by Pryces for intro, and Take the Reins by Hey Pluto for outro

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In this episode, Jo talks about gossip, what it is and why we do it. And she talks about why spreading gossip is detrimental to your self-esteem and confidence. She also talks about what you should do, instead, to build the life and the confidence that you want.

Source: Brene Brown, BRAVING acronym for components of trust.

This episode is sponsored by my Get Out of Your Head & Into Their Bed program, designed to help you build your confidence and make connections with people. Get on the waitlist now, the next round is starting in April; for more information or to get on the waitlist, email Jo at [email protected] and put Program in the subject line.

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Old music (<80): X Ray Vision by Slynk
New music (episodes 80+): The Heat by Vladimir Ershov
New New music (season 3): Level by Pryces for intro, and Take the Reins by Hey Pluto for outro

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In this episode, Jo talks about alcohol and the Lifestyle. A LOT of people use is to loosen up, and make themselves more comfortable, and to feel less afraid, especially at parties and events. Jo talks about the reasons why people feel those feelings. And she also addresses the downside of the lowering of your inhibitions, especially to the point of drunkenness. Things like crossing your own personal boundaries, or your partner's boundaries, or your play partner's boundaries.  
There's nothing wrong with alcohol. But if you feel like you don't want to have to rely on alcohol, if you want to have more control over yourself and your own actions, Jo also gives some tips for feeling more comfortable without alcohol.
This week's episode is sponsored by Jo's FREE 3-day confidence course. Go check it out at www.theconfidentswinger.com.

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Old music (<80): X Ray Vision by Slynk
New music (episodes 80+): The Heat by Vladimir Ershov
New New music (season 3): Level by Pryces for intro, and Take the Reins by Hey Pluto for outro

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Last week, Jo talked about when your partner gets more attention than you do, particularly in the Lifestyle. So, this week, she talks about the flip of that... when YOU get more attention than your partner. 
It is important to be respectful of your partner at all times, and to make sure that everyone is getting their needs met. Jo talks this, but also the potential dangers of getting caught up in that attention by other people.

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Old music (<80): X Ray Vision by Slynk
New music (episodes 80+): The Heat by Vladimir Ershov
New New music (season 3): Level by Pryces for intro, and Take the Reins by Hey Pluto for outro

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In this episode, Jo talks about how it feels when your partner gets more attention in the Lifestyle than you. There are lots of reasons for this; maybe they are more outgoing, or more charismatic, or funnier, or more positive and encouraging, or more confident. Or maybe they are better looking than you. Or maybe they are a women... women tend to get more attention in the LS than men do.
Whatever the reason, there are some benefits of your partner getting more attention than you. But it may also bring up negative feelings, like insecurity, jealousy, envy, resentment, anger, or feeling left out. Jo talks about all that, and gives you some tips to manage your emotions.
Brene Brown, Atlas of the Heart
"Gender Differences in Receptivity to Sexual Offers", Clark and Hatfield, 1989
"Sex differences in attributions for friendly behavior: Do males misperceive females' friendliness?", A. Abbey, 1982

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New New music (season 3): Level by Pryces for intro, and Take the Reins by Hey Pluto for outro

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Jo talks about sending messages to people. Everybody in the LS, well, most everybody in the LS, wants to make connections with other people. And for a lot of people, that starts with sending messages to people. But so often, people send out messages and get... crickets. They get no response, and they have no idea why. 
In this episode, Jo gives some you some tips for getting a better response rate.

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New music (episodes 80+): The Heat by Vladimir Ershov
New New music (season 3): Level by Pryces for intro, and Take the Reins by Hey Pluto for outro

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In this episode, Jo talks about seducing your partner. In the LS, you tend to spend a decent amount of time meeting new people and connecting with new people. And hopefully, seducing new people. But the LS is meant to enhance your relationship, and sometimes, people can get carried away with the excitement and novelty of new people, and sometimes, people can forget that they still need to focus on their partner. So, Jo talks about the need to seduce your partner, and gives you some tips to rekindle that excitement.

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Old music (<80): X Ray Vision by Slynk
New music (episodes 80+): The Heat by Vladimir Ershov
New New music (season 3): Level by Pryces for intro, and Take the Reins by Hey Pluto for outro

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Jo talks about negative thoughts, and how it's impossible to stop them. The key to managing negative thoughts isn't to try to stop having them, which is impossible anyway, but to learn to stop fighting against them and accept them. 

She gives tips to managing your negative thoughts.

This may not be a sexy topic, but it's all part of the big picture that leads to confidence, which in turn leads to more sexy naked time.

Pushing away paper activity by Russ Harris, found in various sources.

Support the show

Old music (<80): X Ray Vision by Slynk
New music (episodes 80+): The Heat by Vladimir Ershov
New New music (season 3): Level by Pryces for intro, and Take the Reins by Hey Pluto for outro