The Don't Buy Her Flowers Podcast

Steph chats with Rob and Josie da Bank about what it’s like to run a festival with your partner, and how they make it work alongside having four children. After 32 years together, and many festivals under their belts, they talk about the difficult bits, how they divide and conquer, and how helping people escape real life, screens and make some IRL memories is what drives them.

With Camp Bestival around the corner, in Dorset and then Shropshire, Rob and Josie share what they’re excited about. Their book ‘Camp Bestival at Home’ is out now, giving readers a behind the scenes peak at Camp Bestival as well as recipes and activities to enjoy through the seasons, and thoughts on festivals from the likes of Fatboy Slim, Sara Cox and Sophie Ellis Bextor.

This episode is sponsored by Kiddiwhizz, creator of the Whizzer, a portable loo for kids and adults. Use code DBHF for a 20% discount until the end of June www.kiddiwhizz.com

Camp Bestival at Home book (and available in Don’t Buy Her Flowers packages)

Camp Bestival Instagram

Rob da Bank’s Instagram

Steph’s Instagram

Thoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers

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Feel like you do everything at home, or at least more than is your fair share? This one’s for you. Steph speaks with Eve Rodsky - Harvard-grad lawyer, activist and New York Times Bestselling author of Fair Play.

Eve is working to change society one partnership at a time by coming up with a new 21st-century solution to an age-old problem: women shouldering 2/3 or more of the unpaid domestic work and childcare for their homes and families. Eve and Steph talk about the massive impact this has not only on relationships, with couples everywhere hissing and resentful while trying to navigate this, but also the workplace, the pay gap, and our mental and physical health. They also talk about what’s in it for men to get more involved, and how do you bring them to the table.

Eve’s book Fair Play

Find out more about the Fair Play system

Eve’s Instagram

Steph’s Instagram

Thoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers

This episode is sponsored by gift experience website The Indytute

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Steph talks with author, journalist and mental health campaigner Bryony Gordon about her new book Mad Woman, an account of her life and challenges over the last few years.

With a live audience at Henley Literary Festival, in classic Bryony-style, she brings lots of energy, honesty and humour to the conversation, in which they discuss depression, OCD, Bulimia and Binge Eating Disorder, addiction and alcoholism and being perimenopausal and a woman in her 40s.

Bryony’s Instagram

Mental Health Mates

Buy Bryony’s book Mad Woman

Steph’s Instagram

Steph’s gift company Don’t Buy Her Flowers

Henley Literary Festival

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Steph talks with Dr Kirren Schnack, Clinical Psychologist and author of Ten Times Calmer, a book with tools to help beat anxiety.

The conversation starts by understanding what anxiety is, what happens when we’re anxious, what are the triggers and what is happening to our nervous system. They discuss the impact having children can have on anxiety, and with the festive season around the corner, they also talk about how to avoid Christmas anxiety.

Steph and Kirren then chat about some of the basics for good mental health, plus Dr Kirren talks through some of the tools to help bring some calm.

This episode is sponsored by The Indytute, handpicked experiences all tried and tested by another female founder, Calypso Rose. Use the code Steph10 for 10% off via www.indytute.com

Ten Times Calmer: Beat Anxiety and Change Your Life by Dr Kirren Schnack

Kirren’s website

Kirren’s Instagram

Steph’s Instagram

Don’t Buy Her Flowers Christmas Gift Guide

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Recorded Live at the Henley Literary Festival, Steph interviews Louise Boyce AKA Mama Still Got It, Gill Sims and Clara Batten live from a Town Hall full of women out for a Friday night! Join them as they discuss the rollercoaster of motherhood - the first year of being a mum, identity, holidays with kids, the PTA, and Louise’s gross middle-of-the-night payback on her husband. Expect some swearing, some drinking and a touch of raucous.

This episode is sponsored by Ancient + Brave, who create pure, potent and sustainable supplements, and are offering 20% off with the code DBHF20

Louise’s Instagram and book 

Gill’s Instagram, Facebook and book 

Clara’s Instagram, Tik Tok and book

Steph’s Instagram

For future Henley Literary Festival events

Don’t Buy Her Flowers Christmas Gift Guide

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahead of the release of her new book, Clinical Psychologist Dr Karen Gurney returns to the DBHF podcast after her previous episode about sex in long term relationships became the most downloaded to date, resulting in at least two pregnancies (that we know of!) and Steph received hundreds of messages from women and couples that felt huge relief in what Karen said about desire in long term relationships.

Now Karen, AKA The Sex Doctor, has written a book specifically for parents - How Not to Let Having Kids Ruin Your Sex Life - out in April 2024. Steph and Karen talk about how tiredness, distraction, lack of time and the mental load affect sex lives, and Karen describes the ‘storm’ that children often bring to a relationship. They talk about the different impacts of new babies, primary school age kids and teens. Karen and Steph also discuss spontaneous vs responsive desire and the idea that it is normal to never feel spontaneous desire in a long term relationship. Karen also explains how key it is to understand the different role sex plays for individuals, communicating better about sex, and offers advice and practical ways to maintain (or bring back) sexual connection, particularly when there is no time.

Karen’s first episode on the DBHF podcast on Apple or Spotify

Karen’s Instagram

How Not to Let Having Kids Ruin Your Sex Life, out in April 2024 and available to pre-order now

Karen’s first book Mind the Gap 

Eve Rodsky’s book FairPlay

Darcy Lockman’s book All the rage: Mothers, Fathers and the myth of equal partnership

Steph’s Instagram

Thoughtful gifts www.dontbuyherflowers.com

This episode is sponsored by Ancient + Brave, a new generation of sustainably sourced collagen, blends and supplements with targeted health benefits. Use the code DBHF20 for 20% off any product on their website

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Steph chats with broadcast LEGENDS Fi Glover and Jane Garvey about their move after thirty years (each!) from the BBC to Times Radio, where they host a radio show and the Off Air podcast. 

Fi and Jane describe how they found juggling a broadcast career with small children, with Fi owning that hers ‘ground to a halt’ for a period, but that she now has a job she loves that may not have been where she’d have ended up without the career break. They discuss phones, teenagers, teenagers with phones, the impact of Perimenopause, Tweakments and what advice they’d give to their 35 year old selves. Most of all, they offer HOPE to women in the rush hour feeling overwhelmed - there is good stuff to come in the future. 

Thank you to sponsors Ancient & Brave, a new generation of sustainably sourced collagen, blends and supplements. Listeners can get 20% off orders with the code DBHF20 on their website

Times Radio (Jane & Fi are on air 3-5pm, Monday to Thursday)

Off Air Podcast with Fi and Jane

Jane & Fi’s Instagram

Steph’s Instagram

Thoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers

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In this episode we're looking back at a brilliant episode with Helen from January 2022...

Steph talks with bestselling author, journalist and speaker Helen Russell about how and why so many of us try to bury sadness, and the harm that causes.

After eight years of researching happiness, Helen realised that most of us desperately want to avoid sadness, but all the experts have said we can’t, so we need to work out how to be sad, better. Helen and Steph talk about grief, infertility, perfectionism, anorexia, men and sadness, and a whole lot in between. 

Helen’s website

Helen’s Instagram

Steph’s Instagram

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Steph chats with brilliant comedian Kelly Convey about motherhood; it’s all very fresh for Kelly as she has had two babies with a fifteen month gap, her second still only seven months old. Steph and Kelly discuss those early months of motherhood, flashing the postman, feeling annoyed with your partner and navigating advice from others. Kelly talks about baby group blunders and making mum friends (or not!). 

As a stand up, they discuss the pros and cons of Kelly being back onstage supporting Alan Carr three months after having a baby, trying to find balance between work and babies, and how she feels that becoming a mum has helped her comedy and connection with the audience.

This episode is sponsored by HotTea Mama, makers of delicious, organic, award-winning, whole leaf teas specially designed to support women’s wellness. Get 20% off with the code DBHF20 at hotteamama.com

Kelly’s TikTok

Kelly’s website

Kelly’s Instagram

Steph’s Instagram

The Don’t Buy Her Flowers updated Create a New Mum Gift Box

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Steph talks with writer and speaker Brigid Schulte about Overwhelm, where it comes from and what we can do to rally against it. Brigid brilliantly uses research and history to understand how we got here, and reassures that when it feels hard, it’s because it is.

Brigid explains why women feel they don’t deserve free time, why we feel we have to ‘excel’ at motherhood and importantly, what all this pressure and juggling does to women’s physical and mental health, careers and relationships. They discuss how women find it difficult to live in the moment because of the volume of roles and responsibilities they’re juggling, how children coming along makes the imbalance even more difficult, and the societal expectations that impacts men and women trying to find a better balance. And Brigid offers some advice on how to turn down the volume on it all, and advises we all need to ‘let that shit go’

Brigid shares what she’s learned as a journalist at The Washington Post, author of ‘Overwhelmed’ (2014) and the Director of Better Life Lab at New America,  the work-family justice and gender equity program at New America, a nonpartisan think tank.

Thank you to Naturalmat for sponsoring this episode, handmakers of organic beds and mattresses, and DBHF podcast listeners can get 15% off with the code DBHF15

Brigid’s book ‘Overwhelmed – How to work, love and play when noone has the time’.

Brigid’s Twitter

Better Life Lab at New America

Brigid’s Instagram

Steph’s Instagram

Thoughtful Gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.