In this powerful conversation, Steph is joined by Elliott Rae, speaker, podcaster, writer and social changemaker, to explore how masculinity is being renegotiated in today's world.

They dig into how traditional gender roles are evolving, why relationships shift after having children, and the ways societal expectations impact men’s mental health and fatherhood. They also discuss the influence of online culture on teenage boys, the lessons from the BBC drama Adolescence, and why open conversations (especially the messy, imperfect ones) are critical for change.

This episode is an honest, moving and often funny look at how we can create more equal partnerships, raise emotionally healthy boys, and support men to step outside the outdated "provider and protector" model. Steph and Elliott reflect on friendship, community, parenting through adolescence, and how small changes in how we live, talk, and connect can make a huge difference - for men, for families, and for society as a whole.

Elliott Rae is one of the UK’s most prominent writers and speakers on fatherhood, men’s mental health and masculinity. Elliott created the Parenting Out Loud campaign and culture change programme which has revolutionised the national conversation about working fathers. Through Parenting Out Loud, Elliott supports employers to build workplace cultures where dads can be loud and proud about their caring responsibilities at work.

As an author, Elliott curated the bestselling book, DAD, and as a presenter, he fronted the seminal BBC One documentary ‘Becoming Dad’ which was one of the 20 most watched documentaries across the whole BBC network in 2022.

Elliott co-hosts the popular podcast, To Be A Boy, which is one of the top parenting podcasts in the UK and he has written for publications such as The Independent, The Telegraph and Grazia and frequently appears across the media, including a feature on Loose Women and regular contributions to Radio 5 Live and BBC Radio London.

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This episode we are proud to have an excellent sponsor:

Sweet Freedom - award winning syrups and spreads, always sweet, always natural. Use code DBHF15 for 15% off.

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Parenting teenagers and navigating midlife can feel like a perfect storm. One moment you’re managing eye-rolls and slammed doors, the next you’re questioning why no one warned you about perimenopause. In this episode, Steph is joined by journalist, author, and parenting pro Lorraine Candy for a frank and reassuring conversation about raising teens, handling hormones, and keeping a sense of humour through it all.

In this episode Steph and Lorraine cover:

• Why teenagers behave like they do (and how to stay calm when they don’t)
• Talking to your kids about relationships, social media and boundaries
• The truth about perimenopause and why so many women feel dismissed
• Why midlife and parenting teens can feel like an emotional rollercoaster
• Practical strategies for keeping communication open and family life less stressful

Lorraine also opens up about midlife, perimenopause and why so many women feel unsupported when they seek medical help. From advocating for yourself at the GP to understanding why teenagers don’t seem to "see" mess, this conversation is packed with insights, humour and reassurance for parents in the thick of it.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The teenage brain: why logic often goes out the window
• How to talk to your kids about sex, relationships, and social media
• The struggles of perimenopause and why GPs still don’t have the right answers
• Why midlife and parenting teens collide in unexpected ways
• The importance of connection, dinner table conversations, and knowing when to back off

Lorraine Candy, is an author, editor and podcaster. She co-hosts the Postcards From Midlife podcast with Trish Halpin, host of The Times' podcast, The Parent Pod and is the author of 3 incredible books. She is a former editor of Cosmo, ELLE and Sunday Times Style and a mum of four children.

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Thoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers

This episode we are proud to have two excellent sponsors:

Anara Skincare - luxury, natural skincare without compromise. Use code DBHF20 for 20% off.

Sweet Freedom - award winning syrups and spreads, always sweet, always natural. Use code DBHF15 for 15% off.

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Steph sits down with her husband of 17 years, Mark (Doug) Douglas, for an unfiltered and often hilarious deep dive into marriage, equality at home, and the invisible workload that often falls on women. From their whirlwind romance and early parenting struggles to resentment, gender roles, and the reality of balancing careers and family, no topic is off-limits.

Doug is a finance professional navigating the ever-evolving dynamics of modern partnerships. As a couple, Steph and Doug have had to unlearn traditional gender roles, redefine teamwork, and figure out how to stop bickering about the food shop. Spoiler alert - they don’t have it all figured out!

We Talk About:

The Mental Load & Motherhood - Why Steph felt trapped while Doug got to enjoy a solo train ride and a Pret sandwich.

When the Kindness Goes - How exhaustion and resentment creep into long-term relationships.
Relearning Equality - The moment Doug realized doing the food shop wasn’t just about clicking ‘repeat order’ on Tesco.

Paternity Leave & Male Privilege - Why many men still hesitate to take time off and what needs to change.

The Pancake Revelation - A seemingly small act that transformed their approach to sharing responsibilities.

The Chats That Changed Everything - From Eve Rodsky’s episode, How to Make it Fair to Matt Frey's This Is How Your Marriage Ends, the resources that helped them shift their mindset.

With plenty of laughter, some uncomfortable truths, and a whole lot of real talk, this episode is for anyone who has ever argued about housework, felt unseen in their relationship, or just wants to feel less alone in the chaos of modern family life.

And for those of you listening in real time, let's not forget that Mother's Day is just around the corner and Don't Buy Her Flowers is on standby to help you with a thoughtful gift that shows the mother in your life the gratitude they so deserve!

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Thoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers

This episode we are proud to have two excellent sponsors:

Anara Skincare - luxury, natural skincare without compromise. Use code DBHF20 for 20% off.

Sweet Freedom - award winning syrups and spreads, always sweet, always natural. Use code DBHF15 for 15% off.

We recorded this episode at Patch in Twickenham, which is a co-working space and they have another four locations in England. Patch are offering 50% off the first two months membership with the code Steph50. Go to patch.work

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Steph sits down with the hilarious and incredibly talented makeup artist Genevieve Turley. Known for her candid takes on beauty, motherhood, and life in general, Gen shares her journey from being a nurse in the Air Force to becoming a sought-after bridal makeup artist and an Instagram star with over 400k followers.

Gen is a freelance makeup artist and content creator helping women over 30 navigate the beauty industry. With a previous career as a burns specialist nurse in the RAF, Gen is on a mission for women to rethink the way they talk to themselves and encourages them to have a better relationship with their reflection. 

We Talk About:

• From Air Force Nurse to Makeup Artist - Gen’s unconventional career path and how nursing skills helped her in the bridal industry.
• Motherhood & Chaos - Juggling work, kids, and life admin, plus her thoughts on the early years of parenting.
• The Power of Comedy - How her love for Absolutely Fabulous, French & Saunders, and British comedy shaped her online presence.
• Beauty Standards & Aging - Breaking the cycle of unrealistic beauty ideals and why she champions real skin, real faces, and confidence.
• Instagram Fame & Finding Balance - The joy (and pressure) of content creation and why she still prioritizes her bridal clients.
• Supporting Women - Encouraging genuine compliments, shutting down negative talk, and lifting each other up.

This episode is sponsored by Anara Skincare, luxury, natural skincare without compromise. Use code DBHF20 for 20% off.

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Thoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers

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Steph chats with Rob and Josie da Bank about what it’s like to run a festival with your partner, and how they make it work alongside having four children. After 32 years together, and many festivals under their belts, they talk about the difficult bits, how they divide and conquer, and how helping people escape real life, screens and make some IRL memories is what drives them.

With Camp Bestival around the corner, in Dorset and then Shropshire, Rob and Josie share what they’re excited about. Their book ‘Camp Bestival at Home’ is out now, giving readers a behind the scenes peak at Camp Bestival as well as recipes and activities to enjoy through the seasons, and thoughts on festivals from the likes of Fatboy Slim, Sara Cox and Sophie Ellis Bextor.

This episode is sponsored by Kiddiwhizz, creator of the Whizzer, a portable loo for kids and adults. Use code DBHF for a 20% discount until the end of June www.kiddiwhizz.com

Camp Bestival at Home book (and available in Don’t Buy Her Flowers packages)

Camp Bestival Instagram

Rob da Bank’s Instagram

Steph’s Instagram

Thoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers

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Feel like you do everything at home, or at least more than is your fair share? This one’s for you. Steph speaks with Eve Rodsky - Harvard-grad lawyer, activist and New York Times Bestselling author of Fair Play.

Eve is working to change society one partnership at a time by coming up with a new 21st-century solution to an age-old problem: women shouldering 2/3 or more of the unpaid domestic work and childcare for their homes and families. Eve and Steph talk about the massive impact this has not only on relationships, with couples everywhere hissing and resentful while trying to navigate this, but also the workplace, the pay gap, and our mental and physical health. They also talk about what’s in it for men to get more involved, and how do you bring them to the table.

Eve’s book Fair Play

Find out more about the Fair Play system

Eve’s Instagram

Steph’s Instagram

Thoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers

This episode is sponsored by gift experience website The Indytute

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Steph talks with author, journalist and mental health campaigner Bryony Gordon about her new book Mad Woman, an account of her life and challenges over the last few years.

With a live audience at Henley Literary Festival, in classic Bryony-style, she brings lots of energy, honesty and humour to the conversation, in which they discuss depression, OCD, Bulimia and Binge Eating Disorder, addiction and alcoholism and being perimenopausal and a woman in her 40s.

Bryony’s Instagram

Mental Health Mates

Buy Bryony’s book Mad Woman

Steph’s Instagram

Steph’s gift company Don’t Buy Her Flowers

Henley Literary Festival

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Steph talks with Dr Kirren Schnack, Clinical Psychologist and author of Ten Times Calmer, a book with tools to help beat anxiety.

The conversation starts by understanding what anxiety is, what happens when we’re anxious, what are the triggers and what is happening to our nervous system. They discuss the impact having children can have on anxiety, and with the festive season around the corner, they also talk about how to avoid Christmas anxiety.

Steph and Kirren then chat about some of the basics for good mental health, plus Dr Kirren talks through some of the tools to help bring some calm.

This episode is sponsored by The Indytute, handpicked experiences all tried and tested by another female founder, Calypso Rose. Use the code Steph10 for 10% off via www.indytute.com

Ten Times Calmer: Beat Anxiety and Change Your Life by Dr Kirren Schnack

Kirren’s website

Kirren’s Instagram

Steph’s Instagram

Don’t Buy Her Flowers Christmas Gift Guide

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Recorded Live at the Henley Literary Festival, Steph interviews Louise Boyce AKA Mama Still Got It, Gill Sims and Clara Batten live from a Town Hall full of women out for a Friday night! Join them as they discuss the rollercoaster of motherhood - the first year of being a mum, identity, holidays with kids, the PTA, and Louise’s gross middle-of-the-night payback on her husband. Expect some swearing, some drinking and a touch of raucous.

This episode is sponsored by Ancient + Brave, who create pure, potent and sustainable supplements, and are offering 20% off with the code DBHF20

Louise’s Instagram and book 

Gill’s Instagram, Facebook and book 

Clara’s Instagram, Tik Tok and book

Steph’s Instagram

For future Henley Literary Festival events

Don’t Buy Her Flowers Christmas Gift Guide

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Ahead of the release of her new book, Clinical Psychologist Dr Karen Gurney returns to the DBHF podcast after her previous episode about sex in long term relationships became the most downloaded to date, resulting in at least two pregnancies (that we know of!) and Steph received hundreds of messages from women and couples that felt huge relief in what Karen said about desire in long term relationships.

Now Karen, AKA The Sex Doctor, has written a book specifically for parents - How Not to Let Having Kids Ruin Your Sex Life - out in April 2024. Steph and Karen talk about how tiredness, distraction, lack of time and the mental load affect sex lives, and Karen describes the ‘storm’ that children often bring to a relationship. They talk about the different impacts of new babies, primary school age kids and teens. Karen and Steph also discuss spontaneous vs responsive desire and the idea that it is normal to never feel spontaneous desire in a long term relationship. Karen also explains how key it is to understand the different role sex plays for individuals, communicating better about sex, and offers advice and practical ways to maintain (or bring back) sexual connection, particularly when there is no time.

Karen’s first episode on the DBHF podcast on Apple or Spotify

Karen’s Instagram

How Not to Let Having Kids Ruin Your Sex Life, out in April 2024 and available to pre-order now

Karen’s first book Mind the Gap 

Eve Rodsky’s book FairPlay

Darcy Lockman’s book All the rage: Mothers, Fathers and the myth of equal partnership

Steph’s Instagram

Thoughtful gifts www.dontbuyherflowers.com

This episode is sponsored by Ancient + Brave, a new generation of sustainably sourced collagen, blends and supplements with targeted health benefits. Use the code DBHF20 for 20% off any product on their website

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