The Marriage Life Coach Podcast

Today, I’m excited to take you on a little journey through a concept that can change the way you think about motivation, intimacy, and even the everyday tasks we all have a love-hate relationship with. We’re talking about responsive desire.

You might have heard the term in the context of intimacy and relationships, but I think that responsive desire is so much more than that—it’s a way of understanding how we relate to everything from our goals to our daily routines. And here’s the good news: just because you don’t feel motivated at the start doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy it once you get going!

In this episode, we’re unpacking responsive desire and how it differs from spontaneous desire, which is often portrayed as the “norm” in our culture (thanks, TV and movies!). Real life is much more complex, and understanding this difference can be a game-changer—not just for your relationship, but for how you approach many areas of your life.

So, join me as we dive deep into why it’s perfectly okay to have a different kind of motivation that needs a little warm-up. Whether it’s starting a new habit, getting to the gym, or feeling connected in your relationship, responsive desire can show up in so many areas of life—and it’s completely normal.

You’ll learn:

• Why tuning into responsive desire can help you achieve goals without waiting for the ‘right’ motivation

• Small shifts that make tasks feel easier and more enjoyable

• How understanding responsive desire can transform your approach to motivation and intimacy

• Why accepting responsive desire can lead to a more compassionate and flexible outlook on your goals and relationships

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Episode 75: Sex, Stress & Gratitude with Emily Nagoski

• Episode 83: Sex Funnels

• The Questions for Couples Journal

• The Marriage Mindset Makeover

Hey friends! Welcome to today’s episode of The Marriage Life Coach Podcast. This one is for you if you've ever wondered, "What does a life coach actually do?" and how they can support you in your journey. 

I’m beyond thrilled to be joined by my wonderful friend and coaching colleague, Sade Curry, who wrote the most incredible explanation of life coaching back in 2020, and it’s stayed with me ever since. So, I finally thought, "Why not just bring her on the podcast to talk about it?"

Sade is not only a brilliant dating coach for divorced women, but also the host of the "Dating After Divorce" podcast. Her insights on how life coaching can guide you through challenging transitions, like divorce, are so profound. She’s certified in trauma coaching, feminist coaching, life, and relationship coaching, and we share a deep love for learning and continuing education (we even ended up taking some of the same courses!).

Today, we’ll dive deep into what life coaching really looks like, share some behind-the-scenes stories, and help you understand how a coach can support you. We’ll chat about the expertise coaches bring to the table and why it’s a game-changer for anyone looking to grow, heal, or transform any area of their life.

Plus, we’ll get personal and talk about some amazing moments from Sade’s own coaching journey—including how coaching helped her find love again after divorce. So grab a cup of tea, cozy up, and join us as we have this enlightening and fun conversation! You’ll hear all about:

• Ways that a life coach helps you see things in a new way, opening up possibilities you may have never considered

• Why life coaching isn’t just advice-giving—it’s applying proven processes to get results

• How finding love again after divorce is possible, with the right guidance and emotional healing

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Episode 152: The Most Valuable Thoughts For Your Marriage Mindset

• Episode 96: Thought Work and The Self Coaching Model

• Episode 39: Soul Centered Communication

• Dating After Divorce with Sade Curry

• Sade Curry on Instagram

• Sade Curry on Facebook

• The Questions for Couples Journal

• The Marriage Mindset Makeover

Today’s episode is incredibly special, and I’m so thrilled to share it with you. 

In this episode, I welcome back a former client, the amazing Jules Clancy, who was a part of my Marriage MBA program during the first round back in 2020. Jules is a food scientist turned cookbook author and certified cooking coach, teaching people to make simple, healthy meals with her app, Stone Soup, and through her podcast, Joyful Eating. 

She reached out to me recently with a beautiful update about her marriage, and her message truly felt like a rainbow after a storm. 

Today, Jules reflects on her journey through my Marriage MBA program, where she chose to focus on herself rather than traditional marriage counseling. She shares how doing this inner work changed her marriage profoundly, creating a relationship she’s proud of today. 

Jules also talks about how learning to be on the same team as her husband strengthened not only their marriage but their family life as a whole, especially in their parenting.

Just a few takeaways from our conversation include:

• How six months of coaching led to lasting changes that continue to benefit Jules's marriage years later

• Why regularly scheduled time with your honey is essential for keeping the connection strong

• The power of accepting your partner as they are and letting go of judgment

My hope with this episode is that you’ll feel really inspired and equipped with tangible tools to start creating positive change in your own relationship. Remember, it’s possible to have what you want in your marriage—you just need the right tools, mindset, and support.

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• The Stone Soup 3 ingredient meals platform

• The Joyful Eating Podcast

• Connect with Jules on Instagram

• The Questions for Couples Journal

• Private Coaching with Maggie Reyes

• The Marriage Mindset Makeover

I was so tickled to be joined in this episode by Adrienne Dorison, an expert in operational efficiency, and co-founder of "Run Like Clockwork" with best selling author Mike Michalowicz. 

Adrienne has helped countless small business owners find ways to step back from their businesses while allowing them to continue thriving. 

I’m so excited about this conversation, because we focused on applying business efficiency principles, specifically "clockworking," to marriage and relationships. And you know I love marriage hacking! 

Together, we explore the "Four T’s" that Adrienne teaches as a guide to optimize time AND energy in both business and relationships.

We are talking about the importance of rethinking roles and tasks in relationships, and how that can create more freedom, joy, and efficiency.

As you listen, I encourage you to evaluate your own relationships and responsibilities and consider how a new perspective (along with the four Ts) can lead to healthier dynamics for you and the people you care about – whether that’s in your business, at your office, or especially with your honey. 

Listen and learn more about:

• What each of the four Ts are and how they help you evaluate, delegate, or eliminate what’s no longer serving you

• The impact of prioritizing activities that add real value to your life and relationship

• How to practice more open communication for deeper emotional connection

• Why rethinking relationship expectations can create a better fit for you and/or your partner

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Episode 32: Coaching, Therapy, and Emotional Leadership with Lacey Sites

• Episode 77: Easy vs Hard with Lacey Sites

• Run Like Clockwork website

• Connect with Adrienne on Instagram

• The Questions for Couples Journal

• Private Coaching with Maggie Reyes

• The Marriage Mindset Makeover

If there’s something in your life that you want and don’t currently have, this episode is for you. I am excited to share some ideas about how to think about goals differently.

Recently, I started working towards a goal of my own that’s felt pretty elusive, honestly. 

During this process, I noticed I had the thought, “This is just as likely as going to Mars.” Which made me feel really defeated.

To feel like one of our goals is impossible just leaves us feeling like there’s nowhere left to go.

But the next morning, I woke up and thought, 

“Okay. If NASA was going to Mars, how would they do it? What would their actual step-by-step process be to getting to Mars?” 

And of course I came up with a few ideas, like desire, budget, plan. And that led me to wondering what that would look like for me and my goal, if I distilled this big process down to the main things I would need to do…

And that’s what I want to share with you today. 

So think about something YOU want, that’s yours and yours alone (meaning, something you have control over to a certain degree) and let’s get ready to apply these four principles to what you want to accomplish.

Listen and learn more about:

• How to be very clear about what you want

• The power of committing more to the process than the outcome

• Dispelling the idea that you have to accomplish your goals alone

• Why you should also think about what’s in the way of your goals

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Episode 96: Thought Work and The Self Coaching Model

• Episode 62: Curiosity, Coaching, and Using Your Superpowers In Your Marriage with Lindsay Dotzlaf

• Episode 39: Soul Centered Communication

• Episode 76: Trauma, Resourcing, and Windows of Tolerance with Shelby Leigh

• The Questions for Couples Journal

• Private Coaching with Maggie Reyes

• The Marriage Mindset Makeover

On this special episode of The Marriage Life Coach Podcast, I’m sharing a rich, deep conversation I had with fellow coach Melissa Parsons on her podcast, Your Favorite You. This collaboration with my dear friend was so impactful that I asked permission to also share it with my audience, so that’s what you’ll be hearing today. 

It’s a sensitive topic, the urge to control. Mostly that urge comes from a desire to feel safe. Overworking, taking over responsibility – my hypothesis is that it all comes from a quest for safety. We think if we establish control, we can be more safe and feel better. 

But really, more often than not, that control leads to resentment, overworking, and burnout, which is exactly what Melissa and I unpack in this episode. 

As much as we might try to control others, we can only truly control ourselves. So what if we harness the power of influence, instead? How could we use our influence in a kinder, more compassionate way to get more of what we want without causing the harm that control does? 

What you’ll learn in this episode:

- Recognize the difference between trying to control others and positively influencing them. True influence comes from connection and understanding, not from imposing your will.

- Authenticity is key in relationships. It’s important to be honest about your feelings and experiences, even when it’s difficult. 

- Life is full of dualities, and it's important to hold space for seemingly contradictory truths. For example, you can be strong and still need support, or you can be independent while deeply valuing connection.

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Episode 29: Releasing the Need to be Right with Dr. Melissa Parsons

• Episode 99: The Power of Going First with Melissa Parsons

• Your Favorite You Episode 98: Influence vs Control with Maggie Reyes

• The Questions for Couples Journal

• The Marriage Mindset Makeover

On this episode of The Marriage Life Coach Podcast, I’m delighted to be joined by a graduate of my Marriage MBA program, Sae Mickelson. 

Sae is a Chinese medicine practitioner and acupuncturist who spends much of her time with clients through a lens of discovery and growth. In her many years doing this work, she’s observed the connection between balance and wellness. And in her time in the Marriage MBA, she was able to draw the same connection more deeply by applying it to her relationship. 

Balance and wellness are terms we all tend to have our own definition of, and I think you’ll love hearing Sae’s perspective of these concepts and others she shared. Her wealth of wisdom from her medicinal background and willingness to be open about her experience of the Marriage MBA were just a breath of fresh air! 

Listen in to our conversation to hear more from Sae’s heart about:

• How to zoom out and take the long view of life and relationships

• The power of asking “What’s my next small choice?”

• Western culture’s impact on our relationships

• Creating awareness of your natural cycles 

On this episode of The Marriage Life Coach Podcast, I’m joined by client Maya LeaJames. 

Maya is a parent coach who helps moms become more conscious in their relationships with their kids. Maya and I just spent six months together in my last group coaching cohort. I am truly delighted to have her on the show to share some of her favorite takeaways and what concepts she found highly valuable and impactful on her own marriage. 

In this episode we share principles from my teaching and coaching philosophy that you can apply to help any relationship, whether it’s marriage or parenting or friendships. 

Check out this episode to hear more about:

- Marriage Relationship Tools like closed-loop communication and assuming positive intent that can you can learn today and apply tomorrow - they are that simple and yet deeply impactful

- How thinking of relationships as collaborative impacts the way you show up every day

- How to get off relationship autopilot and bring more intention to your day to day choices as a wife

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Episode 58: The Power of One

• The Questions for Couples Journal

• The Marriage Mindset Makeover

On this episode of The Marriage Life Coach Podcast, I’m joined by my guest Jewel Hohman, who’s literally an expert in helping adults learn how to make friends. Jewel is a return guest, and I feel so much joy whenever I get to speak with her. I particularly love her extensive knowledge about something every adult has struggled with at some point: making friends! 

Did you know there’s an actual science to making friends? You could call Jewel a friendship scientist of sorts. Pulling from her master’s in social work as well as her coach training, she has studied the science of friendship to a degree that just delights me. 

I think you’ll appreciate the insight she shared on the research around our current loneliness epidemic and the jaw-dropping facts about our society at large – like 1 in 5 millennials reporting that they had no close friends. Take a deep breath with that one. I did. 

We end up relying so much on our partners for deep emotional support, when really, cultivating meaningful friendships in addition to our partnerships can help all of our relationships become stronger. 

Listen in and learn more about:

• The science of friendship

• 3 things every thriving relationship has in common

• How to create meaningful relationships

• Being a good friend to yourself

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Episode 124: Cultivating Intentional Relationships with Jewel Hohman

• Episode 54: Self Love

• Socially Delightful: Telling My BFFs How I Used Friendship Science to Make Them My Friends

• Jewel’s website

• Jewel’s podcast, Socially Delightful

• The Questions for Couples Journal

• The Marriage Mindset Makeover

This is a different episode than I’ve done before. With my amazing client’s permission, I break down the major elements of our 6 months of work together, and how she’s going to keep our work alive after we part ways.

One of the main reasons people seek out coaching is because they want something to change, whether it's behavior, habits, or perspective. And when you have a coach, you have some built-in accountability to act on making those changes happen.

But what happens when our time together ends? My clients receive the tools to move forward and keep creating what they want to see in her life without me. With this particular client, we spent our final session going over all the changes she wanted to implement as a result of what she learned about herself and her relationship in coaching. 

That’s what I shared in today’s podcast episode, in hopes that you’ll find some ideas and inspiration behind the scenes of a private coaching session.

Listen in and find out:

• How to define what really matters to you

• The impact of support and where to find it

• Effective ways to make your goals your new normal

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Episode 96: Thought Work and The Self Coaching Model

• Episode 94: Notice Your Lenses

• Private Coaching with Maggie

• The Marriage Mindset Makeover

• The Questions for Couples Journal