The No Contact Club: Healing From A Narcissistic Mother

By Chloe and PorshaHealth & Fitness Mental Health

The No Contact Club: Healing From A Narcissistic Mother episodes

August 25, 2020 Episode Fourteen: Hoovering
Welcome back to The No Contact Club. This week, Chloe and Porsha discuss the topic of hoovering - the final aspect of the narcissist's cycle - and what it looks like.
If you want to send some feedback or just say hi, email us at [email protected]. If you need support, please see the numbers below.
Black Lives Matter: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/
NEW ZEALAND: Lifeline: 0800 543354 Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (Text 4202)
AUSTRALIA: Lifeline Crisis Support: 13 11 14 Beyond Blue: Depression and anxiety support: 1300 22 46 36 Rape & Domestic Violence Services: 1800 737 732 Men's Line: 1300 78 99 78 Headspace: Youth Mental Health Foundation: see headspace.org.au for your local centre.
USA: Distress & Lifeline: 1800 273 8255 Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741 741 Domestic Violence Helpline: 1800 799 7233 Victim Connect: support for victims of crime: 855 484 2846 MTC program: maketheconnection.net/resources/spread-the-word
UK: Mind: mental health support: 0300 123 3393 SANE: mental health support: 0300 304 7000 Samaritans support network: 116 123 National Stalking Helpline: 0808 802 0300
CANADA: For a list of Canadian crisis centres: https://thelifelinecanada.ca/help/call/
References:
https://www.healthline.com/health/hoovering#:~:text=While%20easy%20to%20confuse%20with,a%20past%20history%20of%20toxicity.
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationships/2019/02/5-reasons-a-narcissist-engages-in-hoovering/
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/hoover-maneuver-the-dirty-secret-of-emotional-abuse-0219154
https://medium.com/@OwnYourReality/hoovering-how-narcissists-try-to-suck-you-back-in-fe46bc380c2c
29 min
August 17, 2020Episode Thirteen: When The Narcissist Discards You
This week, Porsha and Chloe discuss a further aspect to the narcissist's cycle: the discard.
If you want to send some feedback or just say hi, email us at [email protected]. If you need support, please see the numbers below.
Black Lives Matter: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/
NEW ZEALAND:
Lifeline: 0800 543354
Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (Text 4202)
AUSTRALIA:
Lifeline Crisis Support: 13 11 14
Beyond Blue: Depression and anxiety support: 1300 22 46 36
Rape & Domestic Violence Services: 1800 737 732
Men's Line: 1300 78 99 78
Headspace: Youth Mental Health Foundation: see headspace.org.au for your local centre.
USA:
Distress & Lifeline: 1800 273 8255
Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741 741
Domestic Violence Helpline: 1800 799 7233
Victim Connect: support for victims of crime: 855 484 2846
MTC program: maketheconnection.net/resources/spread-the-word
UK:
Mind: mental health support: 0300 123 3393
SANE: mental health support: 0300 304 7000
Samaritans support network: 116 123
National Stalking Helpline: 0808 802 0300
CANADA:
For a list of Canadian crisis centres: https://thelifelinecanada.ca/help/call/
References:
https://www.insider.com/phrases-narcissists-use-2018-8#:~:text=The%20discard%20phase,found%20someone%20new%20to%20abuse.

https://narcwise.com/2019/02/15/signs-narcissist-preparing-discard/

https://www.businessinsider.com/whether-a-narcissist-discards-someone-permanently-depends-on-3-factors-2017-11?IR=T

https://narcissistabusesupport.com/narcissist-discard-phase-revenge-peace/

https://medium.com/narcissistic-abuse-rehab/why-do-narcissists-discard-their-own-children-f05d10006a2

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/recovering-narcissist/2019/04/5-manipulation-tactics-narcissistic-parents-use-to-control-their-adult-children/

https://beentheregotout.com/breaking-up-and-the-discard-how-a-narcissist-acts-at-the-end-of-a-relationship/?gclid=CjwKCAjwps75BRAcEiwAEiACMY3DpHZWiXjk7wdzFGNFKMbtUOejDgxF9iKkcPqnt_E4HHH0taTUpRoCPVwQAvD_BwE
35 min
August 13, 2020 Episode Twelve: The Narcissist's Cycle of Abuse
This week, Chloe and Porsha are talking about the cycle that narcissists use to keep you coming back.
If you want to send some feedback or just say hi, email us at [email protected]. If you need support, please see the numbers below.
Black Lives Matter: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/
NEW ZEALAND:
Lifeline: 0800 543354
Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (Text 4202)
AUSTRALIA:
Lifeline Crisis Support: 13 11 14
Beyond Blue: Depression and anxiety support: 1300 22 46 36
Rape & Domestic Violence Services: 1800 737 732
Men's Line: 1300 78 99 78
Headspace: Youth Mental Health Foundation: see headspace.org.au for your local centre.
USA:
Distress & Lifeline: 1800 273 8255
Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741 741
Domestic Violence Helpline: 1800 799 7233
Victim Connect: support for victims of crime: 855 484 2846
MTC program: maketheconnection.net/resources/spread-the-word
UK:
Mind: mental health support: 0300 123 3393
SANE: mental health support: 0300 304 7000
Samaritans support network: 116 123
National Stalking Helpline: 0808 802 0300
CANADA:
For a list of Canadian crisis centres: https://thelifelinecanada.ca/help/call/
References:
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/idealize-devalue-discard-the-dizzying-cycle-of-narcissism-0325154#:~:text=The%20relationship%20cycle%20typical%20of,idealization%2C%20devaluing%2C%20and%20discarding.
https://neuroinstincts.com/neuroscience-behind-idealize-devalue-and-discard-rhonda-freeman/
http://narcissist-sociopath-awareness.com/idealize-devalue-discard/
https://fairytaleshadows.com/outsmart-the-narcissist-a-guide-to-breaking-the-idealize-devalue-discard-hoover-cycle/
https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/idolise-devalue-discard-the-3-phases-of-narcissistic-abuse-part-1/
36 min
August 03, 2020 Episode Eleven: Parental Alienation
This week Porsha and Chloe are talking about the process of parental alienation, and discuss the impact of this on their lives.
If you want to send some feedback or just say hi, email us at [email protected]. If you need support, please see the numbers below.
Black Lives Matter: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/
NEW ZEALAND:
Lifeline: 0800 543354
Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (Text 4202)
AUSTRALIA:
Lifeline Crisis Support: 13 11 14
Beyond Blue: Depression and anxiety support: 1300 22 46 36
Rape & Domestic Violence Services: 1800 737 732
Men's Line: 1300 78 99 78
Headspace: Youth Mental Health Foundation: see headspace.org.au for your local centre.
USA:
Distress & Lifeline: 1800 273 8255
Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741 741
Domestic Violence Helpline: 1800 799 7233
Victim Connect: support for victims of crime: 855 484 2846
MTC program: maketheconnection.net/resources/spread-the-word
UK:
Mind: mental health support: 0300 123 3393
SANE: mental health support: 0300 304 7000
Samaritans support network: 116 123
National Stalking Helpline: 0808 802 0300
CANADA:
For a list of Canadian crisis centres: https://thelifelinecanada.ca/help/call/
Resources:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_alienation_syndrome
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_alienation
https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/103440478/parental-alienation-like-modern-day-kidnapping
https://www.psychologytoday.com/nz/blog/co-parenting-after-divorce/201304/the-impact-parental-alienation-children
http://thefamilymatterscentre.co.nz/parental-alienation/
42 min
July 27, 2020 Episode Ten: Boundaries
This week, Porsha and Chloe talk about boundaries: what they are, how to set them, and some examples of someone stepping over your boundaries.
If you want to send some feedback or just say hi, email us at [email protected]. If you need support, please see the numbers below.
Black Lives Matter: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/
NEW ZEALAND:
Lifeline: 0800 543354
Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (Text 4202)
AUSTRALIA:
Lifeline Crisis Support: 13 11 14
Beyond Blue: Depression and anxiety support: 1300 22 46 36
Rape & Domestic Violence Services: 1800 737 732
Men's Line: 1300 78 99 78
Headspace: Youth Mental Health Foundation: see headspace.org.au for your local centre.
USA:
Distress & Lifeline: 1800 273 8255
Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741 741
Domestic Violence Helpline: 1800 799 7233
Victim Connect: support for victims of crime: 855 484 2846
MTC program: maketheconnection.net/resources/spread-the-word
UK:
Mind: mental health support: 0300 123 3393
SANE: mental health support: 0300 304 7000
Samaritans support network: 116 123
National Stalking Helpline: 0808 802 0300
CANADA: For a list of Canadian crisis centres: https://thelifelinecanada.ca/help/call/
References:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/narcissism-demystified/202006/7-ways-set-boundaries-narcissistic-people#:~:text=Narcissists%20use%20scrutiny%20or%20intimidation,has%20to%20use%20against%20you.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/nz/blog/women-autism-spectrum-disorder/202003/3-ways-narcissistic-parent-will-violate-your-boundaries
https://narcwise.com/2018/11/03/narcissists-love-boundaries/
43 min
July 08, 2020 Episode Nine: From Victim to Survivor
This week, Porsha and Chloe discuss the idea of “playing the victim”, being a victim, and taking your power back by becoming a survivor. If you want to send some feedback or just say hi, email us at [email protected].
If you need support, please see the numbers below.
Black Lives Matter: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/
NEW ZEALAND:
Lifeline: 0800 543354
Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (Text 4202)
AUSTRALIA:
Lifeline Crisis Support: 13 11 14
Beyond Blue: Depression and anxiety support: 1300 22 46 36
Rape & Domestic Violence Services: 1800 737 732
Men's Line: 1300 78 99 78
Headspace: Youth Mental Health Foundation: see headspace.org.au for your local centre.
USA:
Distress & Lifeline: 1800 273 8255
Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741 741
Domestic Violence Helpline: 1800 799 7233
Victim Connect: support for victims of crime: 855 484 2846
MTC program: maketheconnection.net/resources/spread-the-word
UK:
Mind: mental health support: 0300 123 3393
SANE: mental health support: 0300 304 7000
Samaritans support network: 116 123
National Stalking Helpline: 0808 802 0300
CANADA:
For a list of Canadian crisis centres: https://thelifelinecanada.ca/help/call/
References: https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/victim-survivor-thriver-trauma-stages/
https://optionb.org/build-resilience/video/from-victim-to-survivor
https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/blog/2017/12/moving-victim-survivor
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/unraveling-the-mindset-of-victimhood/
40 min
June 30, 2020 Episode Eight: Narcissist Arguing Tactics
Today, Porsha and Chloe discuss the different ways a narcissistic mother will try and argue, along with a description of the grey rock method for responding to the tactics mentioned.
If you want to send some feedback or just say hi, email us at [email protected].
If you need support, please see the numbers below.
Black Lives Matter: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/
NEW ZEALAND:
Lifeline: 0800 543354
Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (Text 4202)
AUSTRALIA:
Lifeline Crisis Support: 13 11 14
Beyond Blue: Depression and anxiety support: 1300 22 46 36
Rape & Domestic Violence Services: 1800 737 732
Men's Line: 1300 78 99 78
Headspace: Youth Mental Health Foundation: see headspace.org.au for your local centre.
USA:
Distress & Lifeline: 1800 273 8255
Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741 741
Domestic Violence Helpline: 1800 799 7233
Victim Connect: support for victims of crime: 855 484 2846
MTC program: maketheconnection.net/resources/spread-the-word
UK:
Mind: mental health support: 0300 123 3393
SANE: mental health support: 0300 304 7000
Samaritans support network: 116 123
National Stalking Helpline: 0808 802 0300
CANADA:
For a list of Canadian crisis centres: https://thelifelinecanada.ca/help/call/
References:
https://www.e-counseling.com/mental-health/what-is-the-grey-rock-method/#:~:text=The%20grey%20rock%20method%20is%20a%20practice%20where%20an%20individual,to%20grow%20uninterested%20and%20bored.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201911/the-price-and-payoff-gray-rock-strategy
https://www.purewow.com/wellness/gray-rock-method
https://www.psychologytoday.com/nz/blog/eating-mindfully/201804/how-survive-narcissistic-mother
https://psychcentral.com/blog/coping-when-you-have-a-narcissistic-parent/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-autism-spectrum-disorder/202003/3-ways-narcissistic-parent-will-violate-your-boundaries
https://pro.psychcentral.com/recovery-expert/2019/08/setting-boundaries-with-a-narcissist/
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/narcissism-decoded/2017/06/11-ways-to-set-boundaries-with-narcissists/
https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-deal-with-a-narcissist#move-on
30 min
June 24, 2020 Episode Seven: Alcoholism
Porsha is back! Chloe and Porsha discuss alcoholism within the family dynamic and how addiction often co-occurs with narcissism.
If you want to send some feedback or just say hi, email us at [email protected]. If you need support, please see the numbers below.
Help/Support specific to alcoholism:
https://bottled-up.com/members/help-and-support-for-families-of-problem-drinkers/?gclid=CjwKCAjw88v3BRBFEiwApwLevTpwBtIXxm09Ad6fihGCYjOHl43eoaGrbzW1dqZDPbHPtdm_67q3mBoCjA8QAvD_BwE
https://alcoholdrughelp.org.nz/helpline/
https://www.verywellmind.com/information-for-families-of-alcoholics-63317
https://al-anon.org/
https://theretreatnz.org.nz/
https://www.health.govt.nz/your-health/services-and-support/health-care-services/help-alcohol-and-drug-problems/help-families-whanau-friends
https://www.fairview.org/patient-education/84319
Black Lives Matter: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/
NEW ZEALAND:
Lifeline: 0800 543354
Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (Text 4202)
AUSTRALIA:
Lifeline Crisis Support: 13 11 14
Beyond Blue: Depression and anxiety support: 1300 22 46 36
Rape & Domestic Violence Services: 1800 737 732
Men's Line: 1300 78 99 78
Headspace: Youth Mental Health Foundation: see headspace.org.au for your local centre .
USA:
Distress & Lifeline: 1800 273 8255
Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741 741
Domestic Violence Helpline: 1800 799 7233
Victim Connect: support for victims of crime: 855 484 2846
MTC program: maketheconnection.net/resources/spread-the-word
UK:
Mind: mental health support: 0300 123 3393
SANE: mental health support: 0300 304 7000
Samaritans support network: 116 123
National Stalking Helpline: 0808 802 0300
CANADA:
For a list of Canadian crisis centres: https://thelifelinecanada.ca/help/call/
References:
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/narcissism-decoded/2017/07/11-ways-narcissists-and-alcoholics-are-similar/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcoholism_in_family_systems
https://openrepository.aut.ac.nz/bitstream/handle/10292/10217/LaurenceK.pdf?sequence=4&isAllowed=y
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/157163#definition
46 min
June 14, 2020 Episode Six: Reading Your Emails
Chloe is solo this week as she reads out some of the emails they've received.
If you want to send some feedback or just say hi, email us at [email protected]. If you need support, please see the numbers below.
NEW ZEALAND:
Lifeline: 0800 543354
Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (Text 4202)

AUSTRALIA:
Lifeline Crisis Support: 13 11 14
Beyond Blue: Depression and anxiety support: 1300 22 46 36
Rape & Domestic Violence Services: 1800 737 732
Men's Line: 1300 78 99 78
Headspace: Youth Mental Health Foundation: see headspace.org.au for your local centre .

USA:
Distress & Lifeline: 1800 273 8255
Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741 741
Domestic Violence Helpline: 1800 799 7233
Victim Connect: support for victims of crime: 855 484 2846
MTC program: maketheconnection.net/resources/spread-the-word

UK:
Mind: mental health support: 0300 123 3393
SANE: mental health support: 0300 304 7000
Samaritans support network: 116 123
National Stalking Helpline: 0808 802 0300

CANADA:
For a list of Canadian crisis centres: https://thelifelinecanada.ca/help/call/
25 min
June 07, 2020Episode Five: Gaslighting
This week, Chloe is joined by her wife Ellen as Porsha is off sick. There's some talk about books and then they get into gaslighting and the different ways it can be used.
If you want to send some feedback or just say hi, email us at [email protected]. If you need support, please see the numbers below.
NEW ZEALAND:
Lifeline: 0800 543354
Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (Text 4202)

AUSTRALIA:
Lifeline Crisis Support: 13 11 14
Beyond Blue: Depression and anxiety support: 1300 22 46 36
Rape & Domestic Violence Services: 1800 737 732
Men's Line: 1300 78 99 78
Headspace: Youth Mental Health Foundation: see headspace.org.au for your local centre .

USA:
Distress & Lifeline: 1800 273 8255
Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741 741
Domestic Violence Helpline: 1800 799 7233
Victim Connect: support for victims of crime: 855 484 2846
MTC program: maketheconnection.net/resources/spread-the-word

UK:
Mind: mental health support: 0300 123 3393
SANE: mental health support: 0300 304 7000
Samaritans support network: 116 123
National Stalking Helpline: 0808 802 0300

CANADA:
For a list of Canadian crisis centres: https://thelifelinecanada.ca/help/call/
References:
http://www.freefromtoxic.com/2015/05/13/the-4-most-common-narc-sadistic-triangulation-tactics/?fbclid=IwAR2SD4xe7DQv3LX2aoFkMIkEtdWJvFKXrjxlsMzeqlFHwiOytqm18toeZ2s

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/recovering-narcissist/2019/03/7-gaslighting-phrases-malignant-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-translated/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/nz/basics/gaslighting

https://www.marriage.com/advice/parenting/gaslighting-parents/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201607/why-its-so-hard-see-form-childhood-abuse

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/327080#short-term-effects

https://www.psychologytoday.com/nz/blog/the-narcissist-in-your-life/202004/5-things-children-narcissists-wish-you-would-stop-saying

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting
34 min

About The No Contact Club: Healing From A Narcissistic Mother

From the publisher's feed

Two sisters from New Zealand discuss life after going no contact with their narcissistic mother. Chloe and Porsha will give you insight into how to spot a narcissist and how to heal.